THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[wildestkabs]

Day 6 NC.

 

I do miss you but not as much. That's a great sign. Every day I feel a little better than the previous one and I am healing at a good pace. Hopefully, soon enough, I would be ready for a new relationship but will not rush into things.

[1guygirl]

started off day 4 but back to day 1

 

he sent me email at 1am this morning....

 

hey hun

 

well you sure as well don't make me sad, or unhappy - tho at the mo i am pretty much unhappy with most things in my life, but not you

 

i know we have some difficulties, and i hate it when you missred things i say or do, but hey i know it's not your heart that is doing that, so i can kinda see past it pretty much.

 

u are without doubt one of the best things to ever happen to me, and if you could only realise that i would never mean you any pain or dissrespect when you feel something i've said or done is hurtfull, cos i think you know that i woukld never be horrible to you.

 

but apparently my words are hollow and meaningless

 

not sure where to go from here, my heads spinning around and around, taken me ages to read yr email (dont check my emails so often tho tbf)

 

xxx

 

 

and cos he said i dont support him enough, i replied...

 

 

Hey babe

 

now im meant to be in NC

 

but i jus cant ignore this "tho at the mo i am pretty much unhappy with most things in my life"

 

whats goin on lee? you ok?

 

xxx

 

 

 

.....will see what happens...yeah it cudda been bit of emotional blackmail to see how dedicated i am to nc, but im not gunna take that chance when things are not good for him, this is also my chance to prove i can be and will be there for him without throwing myself at him

[JoshHimself]

Back to day 1... Got tricked into talking.....

 

 

 

I feel good tho.

[yogi]

Tomorrow, it'll be 3 weeks. I feel like I'm never going to hear from him again. But that's getting to be more and more OK for me. In this quiet time, I've gone to many classes at the gym, worked out more, hiked, taken better care of myself, my apartment and finances. So I'm on to being a better person. Isn't that what we're supposed to do anyway?

 

But seriously, remember that song by Phil Collins (I think) that goes something like this, "I feel like we never knew each other at all. It might be my fault. There are so many questions. I never find any answers." Blah, blah blah.

 

It's like that. Yo, Mr. Collins. You know my pain. thanks.

[Kaylee2]

Hey so day 1 no.2 is today haha i find it easier not to talk to him when i'm at work, my days off kill me hah.

[brandnewday47]

Man I've had like three chance opportunities to interact with her some way since Saturday. The closest thing she got was a cold shoulder. Onward and Upward!

[Kaylee2]

I think i;ve made some progress, I've collected up all the things he gave me and all the things that remind me of him and all his pictures and everything, and I've put them all away in a box. I'm deleting all our photos on facebook and I'm going to try and move on I'm currently however crying my eyes out!

[lostnscared]

Day 2.

 

I woke up like a better person. I'm now completely devoted to myself and becoming the person I've always wanted to be. I'm glad that we have this break so that I can learn how to love myself and get my diginty back.

 

Though today is only the second day, NO tears have been shed and I don't feel a "sense" of loss.

 

I prayed all night(last night) and wrote self-affirmations, and wrote about things I'm grateful for having. I smiled at myself today and realized that I'm beautiful loving person. I'm excited for this summer and I hope my ex REALLY uses our break to get himself together as well.

[brazilgirl21]

I'm back at day 1. Had to see him on Saturday at a friend's party. We ended up cuddling and holding hands and acting couply during the whole day... Now he's back at being his cold and distant self.

 

Oh joy.

[yogi]

After 3 weeks of no contact, I'm about to call him.

 

Where is SuperDave and his encouraging posts?? Ahhhh!

 

We dated for about a year and essentially we parted because we've both been unhealthy for a while and need to get our stuff together, separately. He said a month or so ago that after this time apart maybe we could see how we could benefit each other when we're solid individuals. Key word is maybe.

 

I've been busy at the gym, classes, life re-organizing, etc.

 

I was the last one to text without him responding. And I was the one who said I couldn't talk to him for a long time.

 

I've heard you can call if it wouldn't affect you in how he responded. And I'm not there yet. Just finished serious medical tests and he told me that he wanted to call a few weeks after and see how they went. Then I aggravated him about something and he said he was sorry he asked. I know he wants to leave the door open but I closed it.

 

So, I guess I answered my own question. Don't call.

 

Right?

 

Help

[Kaylee2]

If its gona make you feel even worse if he doesnt answer or is distant with you I wouldn't call really, I know how devestating it is when you get ignored x

[lostnscared]

Don't call. I'm in a similar situation. My ex said the same thing--that we need to work on ourselves individual and that *maybe* we can come together in the future once we've worked on ourselves and make it work. He told me it was a break.

 

Anyway since you closed the door, leave it closed. The break-up was for a REASON. Your suppose to be using this time to get it together. Don't ruin the progress you've made *now* by contacting him. What is the point? He isn't going to get back with you today, so what are you expecting to happen?

 

Keep the NC going. When the time is right and your in a different place, you'll know when it's time to reach out.

[yogi]

Don't call. I'm in a similar situation. My ex said the same thing--that we need to work on ourselves individual and that *maybe* we can come together in the future once we've worked on ourselves and make it work. He told me it was a break.

 

Anyway since you closed the door, leave it closed. The break-up was for a REASON. Your suppose to be using this time to get it together. Don't ruin the progress you've made *now* by contacting him. What is the point? He isn't going to get back with you today, so what are you expecting to happen?

 

Keep the NC going. When the time is right and your in a different place, you'll know when it's time to reach out.

 

Thank you lostnscared. I really needed to hear that. Wasn't listening to my head on this one. You're right, I need to remember the purpose is to get it together and I couldn't have possibly done that in even a month or so.

 

 

You said you're in a similar situation. How long has it been for you and when was the last time you talked to him?

[brandnewday47]

Don't do it... the only thing you need to worry about is how you will feel when you get no response or a negative response. Guaranteed it will be worse than now. Even if it is a positive response, more than likely it will not ignite a flurry of contact - probably even subconsiously get your hopes up and then soon to go through this all over again. Your the top priority right now.

 

I know it's tough, but you can do this!

 

BTW, I speak from experience I would send little "how are you" or "have a good weekend" messages after a few weeks when I got worried she would forget me. She would always respond and initially I'd feel great... but it would just set me back. Come to realize she wasn't bothered at all with any of it because the whole time she was with someone else, so of course she would respond or even initiate little "how's it goin" type of IMs/texts.

 

He is worrying about his needs... do the same for yourself!

[Flint_Wood]

Day 22

 

I ended up being shown a new picture of my ex with the friend I kinda suspected she was dating. I still don't know anything, but they look happy together. I still feel like it should be me to make her happy, but I wasted the chance I was given. Although I am kind of confused since that picture was taken the same day that she sent me a drunk text.

 

Still, other than some pangs of remorse, I'm not too upset. I hope that's a good sign we can be friends in the not to distant future.

[yogi]

Thank you!! What a great reminder...a nice reinforcement to similar advice I've read in the past. Thanks for having my online back.

[brandnewday47]

You got it! And yes you have it in you to get through this. Learn from my mistakes

[Eddie37]

Day 5 of no contact almost done.

 

I'm anxious to hear from her again. Since she contacted me via email a couple days ago and I ignored her, I was expecting another attempt to reach me...but it hasn't come. Even though I'm 90% positive that I would never take her back, I still feel the need to reject her. For some reason, she reaching out and me rejecting is what I want. I don't understand it all.

[1guygirl]

so, after getting an email from him yesterday morning, and me seeing if hes ok, he then replies saying it doesnt matter (his problems) and that when i wanna change nc to c just to let hi know

 

i sent back if he ever wanted to break the 'break' to let me know

 

so here we are, stalemate again...

 

day 1 again. hopefully he knows now not to contact me unless its about us and the relationship. ive said all i can say, he knows i love him. hes said all he can say in the way of getting few things off his chest, and telling me he loves me, now its time to bite his own bullet with regards to this break. hes got no excuse to send me another email now. its been two weeks of this break and we have had contact and its not done any good, when i have backed down in contact and disappeared, thats when hes got in touch again...so theres a mini reminder there, if they love ya, nc is tough on them too.

 

the hardest part for me will be if he does email and its not about getting back together, but still about us, jus that strength in ignoring it

 

think ive got to remember that when we got back together last time, i was fed the line "i never wanna spend another day without you ever again" and more * * * * like that.... errr helloooo....can anyone see the discrepancy here

[Flyby]

Okay, I'm finally up for the challenge. My ex and I broke-up in March and we've remained courteous and friendly to each other since. You know, same old story - "good old friends"....

 

I am feeling much better since the break-up, more like my old self. I don't contact him, the problem is that he still contacts whenever he needs help or wants to chat and find out how things are going. I have never ignored him, not once. I have always believed that being a good friend means being there for your friends no matter what the situation. This will be difficult for me, but I need to do it for myself.

 

I finally just want to move on with my life and see what else is out there for me. He had his chance and blew it. I realise that we cannot be friends right now. Though, as he says - we will always be friends, for sure, forever.

I just can't be in contact with him now.

 

Here it goes - DAY 1 of NO CONTACT!

[anu1560]

Yeeee. 30 days of NC done. I am so proud of myself.

Yeeee. I don't want him back. I am free like a bird. Now will find a new nest.

boooohoooohoooo my new phone is still not here.

[1guygirl]

Yeeee. 30 days of NC done. I am so proud of myself.

Yeeee. I don't want him back. I am free like a bird. Now will find a new nest.

boooohoooohoooo my new phone is still not here.

 

 

THIS is what i love to hear done, that new fone is winging its way to you...and its text alert is gunna sound so much sweeter isnt it? ...spesh when its a new guy in the future

[honeyspur]

\\ anu1560!!

 

*pops a cork on a bottle of bubbly*

[Animelover6764]

my ex barely shows up on my mind like on a thread lol

[JoshHimself]

Day 2

 

It was the first night I've actually went to sleep at a decent hour. And when I woke up I felt so hollow, empty, I got up fixed me a glass of water. And just sit, then all of a sudden I start balling my eyes out. Because as wrong as I have felt like I've been done, I know the changes I could I have made months and months ago. And the tears wont stop running down my face. I'd just give anything for her to care again, and to put her arms around me and tell me she loves me. Instead of acting like she doesnt care, or hates me. I pray that I can get through this. Im really weak today and hard for me.