THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[brandnewday47]

And on to the weekend! Days 8/9/10.

 

I'm not sure this is a good thing, but i'm actually looking forward to giving off a cold shoulder. I guess it took "her" to get me like this.

[DeenasRhino]

Day 13:

 

Found out my ex has found a rebound.

I have not cried 1 tear for her because she is not worth it. She is now nothing to me. I cannot wait to find the right one for me because she obviously is not her. I'm glad I found out because now I can move on even faster. I cannot wait. I am happy.

[incaangelique]

Day 13. I can do this . . .

[OneBrightStar]

Day 7 for me.

 

Good lord, is this hard.

[Atticus90]

day 3

 

hopefully i can make it a week

[JoshHimself]

Day 12

 

Well yesterday wasnt bad, so guess what? Today was, I really didnt do much, filled out some applications online for a job. Tried to keep my mind off things, but I couldnt, and my phone was being blown up today. And I had it on beep, so I didnt know who was texting me or calling. So everytime I heard it I thought maybe it would be her. And guess what, it wasnt. I mean she tried the other night. And I didnt respond so I figured that maybe she was again. Nope, I had a few friends call me today because I'm helping arrange a kickball tournament this Sunday for The Make A Wish foundation. And one of them told me she asked him about me, and told him she tried to text me because she didnt want things to be awkward between us. And to be social. That she is tired of the crap talking going on between us. I'm thinking well, we ended on a fight, I said some things that I thought I meant at the time, you said somethings just to hurt me. Some things that couldnt have been true or we would have never been one. I mean does it sound like its excuse just to talk to me? Does she want to see me suffer, and be in pain? I mean these small things are making me mad now, because I gave it all I could, I was always a crutch when she needed me. If she was short on her rent, or a bill who helped you? When you probably was short because of your addiction. I mean what the f? Why is it so easy to break my heart? Why cant I be the mad one? Why cant I be the jerk? Why is it easy for you? And not me? Why cant you stop worrying how its gonna be when you see me out? You broke up with me, you hurt me, am I not allowed to feel how I feel. SHould I just sweep it under the rug and act like you didnt mean anything to me? I'm so sick of being sick. Also, what crap talking? I dont bring up her name to people. It has to be one sided, or someone is lying about me. This is honestly the only place I talk about her. I dont even speak to my brother about her. She also said I'm crazy to this friend, well I might have been when was together, or atleast still talking. But I'm crazy for trying to move on? I'm crazy when I dont try and speak to you? But I'm not crazy when I blow up your phone, and try to see you as much as possible? I might be crazy, and imaging all of the good things that I've seen in you, I might be. Who knows. I guess I'm crazy for loving someone who could be so clueless, thoughtless, two-faced, and unappreciative. Maybe one day you will get your crap together, and realise that usually the person who is calling someone crazy is usually the ones with issues.

 

Lyrics I'm relating to right now.

 

Bury all your secrets in my skin.

Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins.

The air around me still feels like a cage

And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...

 

So if you love me, let me go.

And run away before I know.

My heart is just too dark to care.

I can't destroy what isn't there.

 

Deliver me into my Fate -

If I'm alone I cannot hate

I don't deserve to have you...

Ooh, my smile was taken long ago,

If I can change I hope I never know.

 

I still press your letters to my lips

And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss.

I couldn't face a life without your light,

But all of that was ripped apart, when you refused to fight.

 

So save your breath, I will not care.

I think I made it very clear.

You couldn't hate enough to love.

Is that supposed to be enough?

 

I only wish you weren't my friend.

Then I could hurt you in the end.

I never claimed to be a Saint...

Ooh, my own was banished long ago,

It took the Death of Hope to let you go

 

So break yourself against my stones

And spit your pity in my soul.

You never needed any help...

You sold me out to save yourself...

 

And I won't listen to your shame.

You ran away, you're all the same.

Angels lie to keep control...

Ooh, my love was punished long ago,

If you still care, don't ever let me know...

If you still care, don't ever let me know...

[MalibuOne]

Day who cares. I think it's been three weeks. Over a month since the break up. He went back to his ex before me and I went back online. I don't cry anymore. Now, if I allow myself to think about him, I just get mad. I believe this is healthy, right?

[1guygirl]

ok so a cpl of emails and he hasnt replied to my 'defense' email...start again, this time with no loose ends to tie first

 

this is gunna be more about healing than getting him back

 

gunna post something positive and reached a milestone weight wise, im looking better with that 7lbs i lost and the exercise ive done since he announced he wanted to take a break...just another 7lbs to go and i will be at my target weight of 133lbs from 189lbs when i very first started....im getting looks, smiles and admiring glances alot lately...last night when ex made me feel like the wicked witch of the north east, random strangers were stopping to talk to me, have a laugh with me, smile at me, and made me feel that i wasnt such a bad pesron after all. angels come in many guises and i was sincerely moved emotionally

[stu1973]

Day 33,

 

It's been 33 days since I sent her a hand-written, all my feelings pouring out letter, and 31 since she texted me to say she's moved on.

 

This is the only contact I've made with her since she dumped me exactly 4 months ago today.

 

Am I feeling any better? Not really! And to think we were only dating for 2 months.....I need to get a grip.....

[1guygirl]

Day 33,

 

It's been 33 days since I sent her a hand-written, all my feelings pouring out letter, and 31 since she texted me to say she's moved on.

 

This is the only contact I've made with her since she dumped me exactly 4 months ago today.

 

Am I feeling any better? Not really! And to think we were only dating for 2 months.....I need to get a grip.....

 

the timeline of seeing someone doesnt come into it in my experience my friend...unfortunately

[Eddie37]

This is Day 2 for me.

 

My fiance left me a week and a half ago. I contacted her pleading with her to come back, two days later she contacted me pleading to come back then shortly after retracting her plea and told me to never contact her again. The next day I sent her an email telling her she's selfish and a text telling her I miss her. And here we are today.

 

Day 2. Blah. Chatted with ma, sis, friends, took a drive, played with my dog, came home, cried a bit because I miss her. It's raining. I think I'll fix something to eat and watch the tube.

 

I don't want to contact her because I have nothing to say, but I'm anxious for her to contact me.

[Kaylee2]

day 2... was gona text him but i managed to distract myself!

[Eddie37]

Free time is a killer. When I don't have something to do to occupy my mind I think only about her. I hate it when I think about what she might be doing. Maybe she's meeting other people, having fun, meeting guys. It drives me nuts. I have nothing to say to her but, like an addiction I need to contact her...but I won't.

 

Need to find something constructive to do to take my mind off her. Any thoughts people?

[Igelchen]

Day IDK. I guess I emailed her a few days ago, I dunno when. Something about Dorian Gray and Sybil Vane. Cruel rejection. Despair.

 

My mouth tastes like copper, or like there's a battery on my tongue. It's like I get an electric shock every time I think about her. I think it's because I'm tired that I've gone back to wondering about her. I can't sleep with it this hot, and I've been staying up too late working on my calligraphy. It makes me tired, pissed, angry, miserable. I wish I knew if it was the miserable making me miss her, wish I could provoke some reaction out of her, or missing her that makes me miserable, even now.

 

When will this end? My friend says he never gets over a girl until he falls in love with a new one. For me, that could be years. Sometimes, when my rational brain shuts down completely, I wonder if it will be ever - will I ever be in the state of mind where I want to meet anyone else? It's only been a couple of months. Early days? I don't have the strength of mind not to contact her. I'll try and keep away again.

 

I dreamed about her again last night. Just now I broke and looked at her facebook profile for the first time in weeks and weeks, maybe since the last time I spoke to her on skype. I was weak. I am weak. It's not like there's anything to see there. She's changed her picture. Been to Berlin by the looks of it. * * * * e. I'm a wreck.

 

Bet she's found someone else by now.

 

Really not sure that this site can be helping much... but I feel like I need somewhere to get this * * * * out where someone might read it. Feelings... fricking feelings. I feel sad. I feel lonely. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack, pretty much constantly. I wish I'd never met her.

[Kaylee2]

Free time is a killer. When I don't have something to do to occupy my mind I think only about her. I hate it when I think about what she might be doing. Maybe she's meeting other people, having fun, meeting guys. It drives me nuts. I have nothing to say to her but, like an addiction I need to contact her...but I won't.

 

Need to find something constructive to do to take my mind off her. Any thoughts people?

 

I feel the same, I've just started trying to text my friends instead and try and just take my mind off it anyway at all possible. I'm sat here now kind of just making myself not ring him or anything cos I know it wont get me anywhere so I came on here to get my reinforcement in my head! Don't think theres alot you can do other than think about that it won't change anything cos there are no magic words and saying something in the moment could just ruin anything in the future! Thats what I think anyway.

[Eddie37]

I feel the same, I've just started trying to text my friends instead and try and just take my mind off it anyway at all possible. I'm sat here now kind of just making myself not ring him or anything cos I know it wont get me anywhere so I came on here to get my reinforcement in my head! Don't think theres alot you can do other than think about that it won't change anything cos there are no magic words and saying something in the moment could just ruin anything in the future! Thats what I think anyway.

Yeah. At this point I'm sort of like a junkie trying his hardest not to stick that needle in his arm to get his fix. Sometimes I want to tell her I love her and miss her and other times I want to tell her to go f##k off. If I can make it through the weekend with no contact I think i'll be good this coming week.

[Kaylee2]

Yeah. At this point I'm sort of like a junkie trying his hardest not to stick that needle in his arm to get his fix. Sometimes I want to tell her I love her and miss her and other times I want to tell her to go f##k off. If I can make it through the weekend with no contact I think i'll be good this coming week.

 

Yeah just try and do one day at a time, from reading this thing it seems to get slightly less difficult! I know what you mean about the junkie thing, thats exactly it like you need your fix cos you cant bare not having this thing that makes u happy anymore! I think if i wasnt trying to stop myself he'd have about 30 texts a day tellin him i love him and miss him and its all my fault!

[wildestkabs]

I keep expecting my phone to ring, or an email to appear. This is the longest we have ever been without communicating since I first met her

 

This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I want to break the NC and tell her that I still love her and want her, but I have done that already and it changed nothing.

 

She has to realise what I mean to her (if anything) and want to come back and talk to me. I can';t be just friends right now, and I think that's all she needs.

 

Feel like I have become a bit addicted to this site, and talking to some of the people on here, and wonder if I am using these communications to replace talking with her and whether that means I will ever be able to move on at this rate.

 

All of what you have said above is exactly how I feel about my situation...Word for word! Hang in there!

[wildestkabs]

Day 4 NC.

 

Had a great chest workout today. Got on the elliptical and the treadmill for 10 minutes each as well. Have lost 13 lbs since the last time she saw me.

 

Really hope to lose another 10 - 15 lbs in the coming months and gain a few pounds of muscle. It's funny how the thought of the ex with the rebound gives me more strength to lift than any creatine ever would lol!

[JoshHimself]

Day 13

 

Guess the weekends are alot more rough, espicially when Im not doing anything, (damn foot). I've came to the conclusion tho, that I miss the thought of her more then I do her. I mean I love her and I know I always will or else I'd be over this right now. I mean its possible to love someone and not be with them. I've stated my feelings many of times, and if I had an ounce of courage and told her some of the things I've shared with many of you, it might do some good, but how long would that last? A week, a month? I mean maybe one day things can be repaired, but not now, not until she grows up, and quits with her games. She will see whats she lost, and maybe I'll be there to listen, or maybe I wont have time. Anyways, I hope her drug treatment is going well, and I pray for her well being. I love her, but how much does that carry things?

[anu1560]

Day 21 + 27

 

I wrote him a small 'i miss u' after the first 3 weeks of NC which I didn't get any response. And then I have been in NC for another 4 weeks now. On Wednesday I will be 30 day of NC. I feel great. Had ups and downs. Ready for more ups and downs. But doing great. Updating here not because I want my ex back. I DO NOT WANT MY EX BACK. But I tell you, NC makes you feel better. I lost my self esteen when I started begging him. But now I am proud of myself for not breaking the NC. So I have tried to give myself a reward. I bought myself a new high tech phone which will be delivered on 30th day of NC (hopefully Yeee..

 

You guys keep it up. Not to get back your ex but to get back yourself. I got back myself. This was challenge for me to get MYSELF BACK. And half the battle is over. And I am ready for rest of it.

 

All the best to you guys for the battle to get yourself together.

[1guygirl]

an amazing post!!

 

i love this challenge thread because its not jus about me and my NC, its about reading everyone elses journey, the good the bad and the empowering, peeps getting fitter and stronger....just yeahhhhhh bring it on!!

 

so much support from others in same boat and it jus makes it that bit more bearable

 

day 2 for me, still in that "if i jus send one more email to clarify yadda yadda" and my heads like NO!!!!!!!!!!!! ...ive sent a good email, stating id give this break a month of nc, and if he wants to discuss things he can, but i panic that i messed that up with my final email...

 

ive gotta be in that place that says so what??

 

im half expectin him to send a "hi how ya doing?" mail in a cpl of weeks...but then when i say im in nc hes very good at respecting that so mabes not

 

been for a walk over moors jus to fill time in. i dont watch tv but might just start again jus for the distraction

[brandnewday47]

Was tiredly going to sleep last night when a work related issue came up, and a group had to get online to troubleshoot. Of course she was on it.. probably typing with the OM next to her. Oh well, I really didn't have to do much and only said a few things which were completely work related. On to day 10.

[Atticus90]

day 4..

i could go forever, but she seems to like contacting me every week

[Igelchen]

Blast. I'm so miserable. Saw a woman in a dress who reminded me of her. Saw a blonde girl who reminded me of her. Opened the paper and saw an article about Caravaggio which reminded me of her. Someone mentioned swimming and it reminded me of her. People keep talking about the world cup, Germany vs. England, which reminds me of her. Every time I see a German name - Schroder, Blumfeld - there she is again. I can't get her out of my head for more than five minutes.I just broke NC again and texted her, "enjoying the football?" because I'm a douchebag. Germany was winning, last time I checked. Does she even get my texts any more?