THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Strawbridge]

Day 8

 

does stalking on FB count as breaking NC?

 

For some reason I have this major urge to check her profile (its public), and it usually hits around the 7-10 NC day mark. Running out of things to keep me occupied, just done the dishes and hung out washing....urge still there arrrrggggghhhhhhh.

[Mustachio]

thank you for that. easier said than done....i will try...

 

its so hard being out of her life....... she is the one for me......argh!

 

I know its much easier said than done... I have been there. I know. All I found were emails that I didnt want to read that only made me worse. And that is all you can expect to find, more pain. Not to mention that if you want her back, going through her emails is only going to push her even farther away from you than she already is.

 

Also, honestly, if she really was the one for you, then you will either be back together at some point in the future... or else, she really wasnt the one for you. I know it hurts to hear, but sometimes the hard truth is what we need.

[Nickk]

Nearly the end of Day 1

dont feel the urge to call, but still constantly thinking of her, even during my exam today....not good!!

[matador1972]

Starting day 5 with LC (texts from her about the kids is all im allowing), ive not heard anything about the kids since Friday morning, so had 3 full days with zero contact.

 

Is it getting easier? Weekend was a bit crap, and i hope she is missing me.

[kt_belle]

Day 0: I am never talking to him again!!! He can go rot in hell for all i care. He's a liar, a user and deserves to feel horrible. I hope he feels bad because he deserves it

[Mustachio]

Day 48 I think.

 

Still posting in here. For all you at the beginning. It does get better. I feel more like myself now than I did during my relationship. And honestly one of the best things is that I only have to answer to myself and not to anyone else. I do what I want for me, because it is what I want. I dont have to worry about whether or not anyone else will be too upset by my actions because its all about me.

 

On the other hand, I am definitely feeling like contacting my ex. I have gotten past the initial shock on the breakup and am feeling a lot more level headed. I still am not over her by a long shot, but the desire to fight for her and the relationship is still strong. Very confused at the moment. I still am in a much better place than I was before, and with this time apart, I am not reaching for the phone, or feeling the absolute urge to contact her at any cost. I am definitely much more used to the idea of being apart from her, and I am actually ok being single, but there are still feelings there that can only be satisfied right now by my ex, and without those feelings being satisfied, I just feel a bit empty inside.

[Nickk]

hang in there kt!

 

im really close to texting, so may just go to bed or else i probably will

[lonesomeloser]

Day 3

 

So disillusioned. The girl I loved is not who she is. Wish she was upfront about it at the beginning; we still could have had fun and saved me the heartache.

 

I'll probably still answer when she calls. Not sure... Now that I know the girl I loved doesn't exist, I could probably start a FWB relationship with who she really is.

[kt_belle]

hang in there kt!

 

im really close to texting, so may just go to bed or else i probably will

 

 

Thankyou He talked to me on facebook tonight after everything telling me how he never wanted to break up but didnt feel we could work now. I came back told him he was being cruel and just to leave me alone. Basically that i loved him but he hurt me.

 

Funny thing is now he's sent me a text saying "how could i make it up to you. we have been through too much for it to end like this. I'm so sorry"

 

I guess when you really do leave thats when they realise what they want.

[Chris Knows]

Day 30.

 

Having sort of a relapse. I still communicate with her sister as we are still close friends. She was telling me how much of a jerk the new guy is and how he is already getting old and they are not going to last. I want to call or text but afraid of the rejection or starting an issue. Nor do I want to break No contact.

[kerri_nicole]

Starting day 5 with LC (texts from her about the kids is all im allowing), ive not heard anything about the kids since Friday morning, so had 3 full days with zero contact.

 

Is it getting easier? Weekend was a bit crap, and i hope she is missing me.

I have the same kind of situation myself. We have kids and I dont want any contact as he is a bully but how do you manage with kids??

[lonesomeloser]

I'm not worthy of this thread. I just can't stay NC with her. I can't.

I can't blame her for anything she's done or anything she's doing. She's a single woman, recently divorced, and not getting any younger. Her birthday is next week. And you know what? I love her. (I know, I'm a sucker)...

 

I saw her status of FB says It's a beautiful day.

So, I texted her

 

"Your smile makes every day beautiful - sorry 4 being a d*ck".

 

She sent me back: "awww so sweet. No worries baby, totally understand".

 

I sent: "No more drama from me I promise. Love you my BFF".

 

She sent: "Sounds good Love u 2 my bff!!"

 

 

 

I know I know... I'll vacate this thread for a while because I guess I'm really NOT up to the challenge. I'll probably be back knowing our relationship, the friendly little exchange actually makes me feel good. It really does.

[matador1972]

Well, stupidly broke on day 5. Was at my mums collecting the dog, came out and her car was parked right accross from the exit of the street my mum lives on, she was queing to go into the school to collect the kids, had she been anywhere else on the queue, id not have caved.

 

I went up to her window and chapped it, she turned round, didnt smile or anything, no real recognition on her face which i guess gave me a good indication of how she is feeling. I asked what was happening with my daughter coming home tonight and she told me, she asked if i wanted to come in and sit with her but i declined, she didnt look that great to be honest, quite tired looking and she said she had just been having a sleep before she got out. Anyway, again i stupidly ended with, "you are looking good anyway" or something like that before making my goodbyes.

 

Came home and have been crying since, i was feeling really low today already, seeing her made it worse, i didnt go over to her to make me feel better, i validated in my head by thinking if she saw me when she didnt expect it, it might make her think that she has been missing me, but from the look on her face, she didnt. back to day 0.

[Nappyloxs]

Its actually day 12, longer than I thought. Man, did it fly, it feels like just a few days ago I tried to contact her.

 

Woke up this morning thinking about her. It doesn't help that I dream about her. Had a talk with my mom last night. I realized that I am still searching for answers in a way. I have broken down what I believe are the answers, but it as if I want a woman's insight to them. Everyone just says "get over her." As if it was so simple. They forget when they got their hearts broken.

 

Mustachio: I still feel like you do. I have a desire to fight for the relationship, but I am not going to allow myself to do it. I feel like I have learned a lot. I have said many times that I am actually thankful for the breakup, because I learned things that I probably wouldn't of if we got right back together. I feel like it was actually a much needed break so I could actually evaluate things. I know that if we got back together it would be a better and stronger relationship, at least from my side.

 

Here is the thing. I need to stop dwelling on this past relationship. I need to start thinking about the things I learned and making the next relationship with a new woman stronger and better. I have to switch my mind set from the past to the future.

[dandan78]

Day 5

 

Not an easy day at all. Her brother came round today (we were mates long before) and I just burst into tears. I know I can trust him and that it wont get back to her.

 

Questioning whether or not I've done the right thing but this is the only option I have for ME.

[bish0p2004]

Day 11 or 12

 

I'm glad I did this even though I miss the things we did together. It's too bad I didn't find this website two months ago...even though I already knew better, I just continued to go back for some reason.

 

Damn my ego and guilt.

[Nappyloxs]

FFFFF

 

I felt strong this morning, probably too strong. I felt strong enough to write a closure letter. I spent the last hour just writing it. Now, it was a setback. I have not sent it. Posted on ENA instead, but still. FFFFF. I don't want to break NC, but then I do. FFFFF.

 

Writing made me realize I just don't want to let go. Why can't I just let go?

[OneBrightStar]

It's Day 10 for me. Feels like a lifetime.

[ApplCW]

Day 22 went down the drain....UGH

 

The ex contacted me. Sent 10 text messages. Wrote me an email for each email address I have. ( I have three). Tried adding me on Facebook. Ask me if I was ignoring her? I said Yes.

 

I'm kind of bummed that I didn't reach my 30 day goal but knowing that she misses me is a good sign. Prior to today she had only tried to contact me once and I was beginning to think she didn't miss me at all. She did write that maybe one day we can work out. I don't know anymore....

[bish0p2004]

Day 22 went down the drain....UGH

 

The ex contacted me. Sent 10 text messages. Wrote me an email for each email address I have. ( I have three). Tried adding me on Facebook. Ask me if I was ignoring her? I said Yes.

 

I'm kind of bummed that I didn't reach my 30 day goal but knowing that she misses me is a good sign. Prior to today she had only tried to contact me once and I was beginning to think she didn't miss me at all. She did write that maybe one day we can work out. I don't know anymore....

 

Dude, I don't even know why you're stressing out. You're doing really good.

[tuesday]

After my ex contacted me on saturday I broke my NC the next day, it was weird he wanted me to go with him to six flags. I knew in my heart it wasnt a good idea so I said no, so far I had been coping well with the break up. But later on during the week I started reading more into it. The last time we broke up, three weeks later he wanted me to go with him to disneyland and then we got back together. I think I thought the same thing might have happened. I ended up going it was fine until he did something that kind of made me wonder if he was just using me, after that I was upset the rest of the day. And when he was taking me up back we talked about why he wanted to be my friend still. It's exactly what everyone here keeps mentioning; it was easier for him to move on being my friend I guess. And since that night I've hit an all time low. I've gone out but it hasnt helped. Todays Day 4 went to work, the tears just started flowing, didn't even go to class. I just can't stop thinking about him and how I want to be with him.

[Kutless]

Today is day 30...

 

It was 33 days ago she called me cause she had dreams about me..had a real nice convo,but i made sure she knew friendship was not in the cards..said we loved each other and then hung up..3 days later i gave in and text her she text back and then a couple more same day..After that i realized what was happening..i was being set up..to keep in contact with her..because all the text and emails had added up to this eventual phone call --to make sure i was still for her. And it worked,she knew that I was and her ego was therefore fed.

 

She left me 16 months ago for someone else and still wants me to be there for her..not gonna happen.Every one on here can do the same,just be strong..I have faith we can all move on with our lives..and see what life has in store for us.Not waiting around for them to throw us a bone.Selfish is what it is.We were together almost 14 years..now it is time to move forward..30 days down and many more ahead.

[supercalifragilistic]

Day 20

 

Sticking to NC this has been really easy this time. The fear of being ignored and rejected keeps me from wanting to contact him at all. I also dread accidentally running into him or being contacted by him because it will just remind me that nothing has changed and he still doesn't want to be with me.

 

I'm also getting used to not seeing him anymore, I'm becoming numb to it, really. I know I love him, I know I want to be with him, I remember all his qualities and I still cry that we can't be together and that I won't find anyone like him. But when I'm not sad I'm numb. When I read people say they felt numb I never really knew what they meant. I do now.

 

You could ask me if I want a million dollars, I won't even be happy. I'll say yes because I know I will want it in the future, but I just won't care. Even the thought of my ex calling me to get back together, which used to make me excited, just leaves me numb. I really hope that after numbness, comes happiness.

[Nickk]

Thankyou He talked to me on facebook tonight after everything telling me how he never wanted to break up but didnt feel we could work now. I came back told him he was being cruel and just to leave me alone. Basically that i loved him but he hurt me.

 

Funny thing is now he's sent me a text saying "how could i make it up to you. we have been through too much for it to end like this. I'm so sorry"

 

I guess when you really do leave thats when they realise what they want.

so what do you think your going to do about it?

[kt_belle]

so what do you think your going to do about it?

 

I honestly don't know. Another friend of his has brought to my attention that there was a few things he may have been lieing to me about. It may have been completely innocent but then it may also have not been.

 

At this stage i'm thinking NC. I dont really want to give him the satisfaction of always having things go his own way.