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ApplCW

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  1. Day 17 LOL you have my Beatles records. Ugh I haven't asked for them back since the initial break-up, but she's coming back into town next week, that I'm tempted to contact her, but I won't.
  2. Oh Robin...I miss you and i love you. Always. In all honesty, I'm feeling a lot better. The physical distance between you and I wasn't working out and I know any chance of reconciliation is far into the future. I still intend to get you back, some day...but right now I'm focusing on myself and enjoying the attention the girls give me. I'll be back for you...just living my life in the present.
  3. Day 2 I was feeling better, but the evening always makes me blue. I miss you.
  4. Day 1 I wish my brain would stop thinking for just one second. I had a convo with the ex yesterday morning and I just can't get her words out of my head. The main obstacle in our relationship was the distance. Prior to the break-up she had begun to express how she hated the distance because she and I didn't feel like a real couple. Fast forward 3 weeks later and now she's saying the distance wasn't the reason we broke up, that it was just the catalyst. That our differences were too much to overcome and if we were still in the same city, we would still have broken up a few months down the line. Now granted this is the same woman who two or three months ago, would say to me, that all we needed was patience and time. That soon enough there would come a time when our different modes of communication would mesh, that in time these minor "hiccups" would disappear and it would all be worth it.
  5. With my previous ex, she didn't contact me until the 3rd week of NC. And looking back I wish I hadn't contacted her back then. She was saying all the things I wanted her to say, but mostly because she was lonely, one week after we had talked of getting back together, she disappeared and left me hanging. Don't talk to them until you're ready. You do it any sooner and you will get hurt. With my current ex, I was doing ok until I saw she had called me. I shouldn't have called her. It is like picking at a scab, without letting it heal properly. And that's what we need. To heal.
  6. Day 4 = FAILURE I woke up to find a missed call from the ex. And my stupid self jumped at the chance to call her. We had a long conversation, though it was mostly me talking and her listening, repeat of the same old * * * * ...nothing has changed really (and why would it, everything is still so fresh)....I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back. LOL and to top it all off she accidentally dialed me....oh great, tsk tsk the stupid things we do for love
  7. I'm sad. I find myself crying here and there. I don't hate you. I'm not mad at you. I don't think you and I were ready for a LDR. The moment our relationship hit its stride, you had to move 375 miles away to go to school. I honestly though we could pull through, but looking back I know, we weren't made for an LDR. You and I, are very different people. We shared the same core values, but we looked at the world in various different ways. And those differences at times caused us minor headaches when you and I were physically together. We were always able to pull through, because we were always able to talk them out in person. The moment you left that was gone....and those differences, turned into bigger misunderstandings until it all became a nightmare. I'm still processing it all. I will write it all down one day. Once the dust has settled, I will write it down and send you my thoughts.
  8. I wouldn't do it. It took me three tries before I finally went NC for good with my previous ex, but the times that I did break NC, I was left more confused than ever. It sets you back.
  9. Day 3 This weekend is going to be particularly hard. Not only is it my birthday weekend, but we were in a LDR and I was flying out this weekend to go see her. I haven't seen her in almost two months and it was the one thing I was looking forward to these last few weeks, and then it all ended this past weekend. She just couldn't deal with the distance. She felt we weren't a real couple. And she just threw me away..... Part of me feels that we would still be together if the distance didn't exist...
  10. It is my birthday tomorrow. I was suppose to fly out and see you. After spending a couple of months apart, I was looking forward to the day, when I could hold you and see you again. The distance proved too much, you couldn't deal having me so far away...so you did the easiest thing you could...you threw me away...you gave up... I still hope someday we can take a 2nd crack at this...for I love you more than anything else in this world. I know you're coming home for Thanksgiving. You keep telling me the door is always open if I want to be your friend. But I don't want to be just your friend, I want all of you not a part of you. I know you will probably ask me to see you in November. I don't know if I should.
  11. I don't want to be your friend. I have no desire to be your friend. Stay the * * * * away. I don't care that you miss the adventures we used to go on, you gave those up the moment you walked out. Go away. I don't want to talk to your selfish ass ever again.
  12. I'm done. She hasn't change and can't get over the past so there's no point in even thinking about reconciliation. She's holding on to the past and honestly I can't deal with that crap. This is NC for good. Now and forever...
  13. Broke NC...I responded to one of her texts. Blah I've been feeling crappy these last few days. Went out with a friend on Saturday and had a nice chat, then we ended up talking about the exes and the mundane stuff we used to enjoy. Today was supposed to be our 2 yr anniversary and I can't get out of my head all the damn things I had planned. Ugh. I really don't like this. We talked briefly today but mostly on text. The first thing she said was "I don't see us ever getting back together". It is very hard to read her at times. When I broke NC the first time she was crying, and begging me to come back but I wasn't ready to deal with that at that point in time. That was on November 24th...22 days into Round 1 of NC. Go figure. I don't know. I just felt I had to share how I felt. Not that it makes me feel any better. She texted she wasn't sure we could have a friendship, then she called me. Blah blah blah. Before I met her I had no desire to settle down. I had a different date every week, party here and there...and now I've turned to this. Haha I feel so domesticated. I wouldn't change it for the world, but damn it is hard.
  14. Day 26 of Round Two... Everything is going well, 'cept tomorrow was suppose to be our anniversary and I'm feeling a bit sad. I probably won't contact her until the New Year rolls around.
  15. Hahaha way to go Slick! Day 15 of Round Two of NC... Nothing too exciting going on. Just keeping myself busy. I don't have the urge to contact her at all but I do wonder what she's up to. On the bright side I don't have to worry about buying an anniversary gift and a Christmas present for the ex this year. I always hated the fact that they were three days apart lol
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