kt_belle
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Posts
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It must be so hard to let go. My ex was going to move at one stage and it just makes things feel so final. The thought that helped me get through that point was "if he did stay and got back together with me, would he always regret not leaving"
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Day 21 I can't help but doubt NC at the moment. Over the past 2 days i have wanted to contact him more than anything yet i was fine the first couple of weeks. I feel so angry that our two years together has ended over something which is fixable. I cant help but wonder too if the reason he hasnt contacted is because of the talks we had before i started NC. He did want to be with me but felt that he needed to be single to work through his issues (he's lazy & has no real job) and that the only way for us to be together was if we were single first. He thought that if we had time and moved one we could one day try again after we'd worked through our own problems (a fresh start). He wanted to remain friends however at the time i told him that i couldnt do that. He said he'd try being friends in a couple of months. I also told him that we probably wouldn't get back together again either (i was really hurting that day and was so angry at him because he kept telling me that there was hope but then later saying that there wasnt). I can't help but doubt whether or not i should have just stayed friends with LC till he worked through his problems? Today is also his birthday so i'm wondering if i should send him a birthday wish...
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Day 16 I'm having a really really hard time today. I just miss him so much. I cant believe he is gone. All i want is to hear from him, to know that he cared. To know that the past two years actually meant something, it all wasnt a lie. I hate this I know it will pass but it still sucks. I just want him back. It was so hard last night because i had people over at my house and his best mate was one of those guys. Apparently my ex is 'loving the single life'. That was like a knife to the heart.
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Day 15 I hate this.. Why hasnt he called? Obviously he really didn't love me. I can't believe i was such an idiot to fall for him and his lies
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Day 13 Well i'm up to day 13 and i'm actually amazed i have made it this far. Yesterday was probably the worst day since starting. My mum tried to commit suicide again so she was sent to the hospital unconscious. The last time this happened i turned to my ex for comfort and it was so hard not having him there. I am kinda proud of myself though for not breaking NC even though i wanted to more than anything. It does hurt though that he hasnt bothered to see how i am. I was meant to go to the movies with his mum and sister last night (we are still really good friends) so he definitely knows whats going on in my family because they would have told him. I guess he really doesnt care
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Day 10 I hate this. All i want to do is talk to him, hear from him. It definitely doesnt help that friends have posted pictures of him recently on facebook and he's wearing the necklace i gave him while we were together. Why would you wear something your ex gave you just after you had broken up? He was wearing it the last time i saw him too. It makes it hard because it gives hope in a way.
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Day 8 I cannot believe its now been over a week since i last talked to him. I miss him so much I feels like forever but in reality it isnt really that long. Why does such a short time feel like it never ends?
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Day 5: Wow i cant believe i'm at the end of day 5. Since the break up one of us has always broken NC after day 4. I miss him like crazy. Its hard knowing he's so close and yet so far. The hard part is though is that as much as i want him back, i dont think i would take him back if he asked. The only way it would happen would be if he soughted his life out and actually got himself a decent job. I seriously doubt thats going to happen. I guess we will never be together again ...
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Day 3: I made it through another day! Today i actually got through without a single heartache moment. I could think about him and not feel hurt. I know its only temporary and the pain will come back but its nice to have one day free. It has definitely helped planning heaps of things to do with my life atm.
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End of Day 2 NC: I am not going to break! I am sticking too this! I just miss him so much. I spent the weekend out doing things with friends and even though i was having fun and laughing, i still couldnt help but miss him. As much as a joke to friends and say that i'll meet someone new, i can't help but want him and only him. I wish our relationship meant as much to him as it did to me Going to stay positive! This should pass.... hopefully
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Tomorrow is day 1 of NC and i'm actually excited. I know i am going to miss him like crazy and i still love him but i really want to move on and not hurt anymore. I guess i'm looking at it that if i'm in NC i'll be in the processing of healing. I'm excited because i know that one day soon i'll stop hurting
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The problem with holding onto the number is that you are holding on hope to that person. I have deleted my ex's number because its up to him to get me back now. He has my number (mind you he did delete it after we broke up) and if he doesnt they can always get a hold of it. Ultimately if they want to reach you they can. The question is do you really want to sit around waiting for them to do so? Or do you want to move on with your life
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Its soo hard maintaining NC when you have to talk. I really didnt want LC as i told him i couldnt be friends with him (which is true)
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End of Day 1: I feel terrible like i have broken NC even though i havent. My ex and i were renting a house together and have had to break our lease so there are a few things we still have to be in contact about (such as getting the bond back). The real estate rang me today and i had to text my ex saying "contact real estate". When i told myself that i'd go for 30 days NC i said i could allow contact related to the house. But i still feel like i've done the wrong thing. Dammit Dammit Dammit. While i've been typing this at work he has just walked in to my work to let me know that we have to get the pest control out to the house tomorrow (trust him to leave it late). Does it count as breaking NC if i only said "ok"??
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Thankyou. Lol knowing my luck he'll come back wanting to reconcile after i finally start to feel in control again. I definitely think telling him that we cant be friends has been a good thing. I feel like i have some power over our situation and i think its also making him think a lot more about what he wants in his life.