Getting back together really does happen!

[smallville]

I dont know what it is, but Ive every one of my guy friends in my circle get back with atleast one of their exes, yet I've never had an ex come back to me. My best friend through high school into college had a girlfriend once who he fought every day with and they broke up maybe once every 2 months, sometimes borderline abusing each other, but kept going for over 2 years. When they broke up, he chased, cried, everything in the book and pushed her away. Of course when he stopped, she started doing it to him. Eventually they got into the cycle of 'power' where each of them kept push-pulling until they just gave up. 3 years later I ran into her and she was pregnant with someone else's baby and still told me my bestfriend was her true love and the one that got away, even after everything they did to each other. But they couldnt reconcile at this point because she had someone elses kid and he had another girlfriend. It was almost heartbreaking because I was never close to her and only saw her as the girl my best friend was always fighting with, but when I heard her side of it and that she was still crazy over him.. hurts man.

 

But me? Never hurt a girl physically, verbally, dont play with peoples emotions, have never cheated; nope, not one. Fml.

[Skins21]

I have a story for you guys, then I wanted to share my story.

My mom and dad have been married for 30+ years with 3 kids. They dated during their last 2 years of college and then about a year after college before breaking up bc my dad was not ready to get married and still wanted to go out and have his fun. During this time they moved to separate areas of the country and proceeded to date other people. They communicated during this time but on a very infrequent basis (once every couple of months). They also both dated other people during this time for around 2 years each. My mom has always said that although she was dating someone else, she always new that my dad was the one that she wanted to be with. They ended up running into each other at a mutual friends place after about 2 and a half years and have never been apart since.

 

Anyways, on to my situation. I am still struggling after my girlfriend and I broke up 5 months ago. Sorry, this may be a long post, but I wanted to give a little background on my situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 4 years. We had a great relationship that was built on a mutual respect for one another. I can honestly say that I have never respected another person so much in my life. We hardly ever fought, and when we did we always tried to work things out quickly and not let them drag on. Shes a great girl whom I would never speak badly of. A very loving, caring, and kind hearted person. We went through quite a bit together from a personal and family standpoint, and we could always count on one another to get through these times. Anyways,on to the reason for my post. We broke up about 5 months ago and it has been very tough ever since. We broke up in large part because of my inability to fully commit the rest of my life to her). Also, for reference, im 27 and she is 26. For the last year we had been long distance bc I took a job in Texas. The plan was that she was also going to move down, but she first had to finish getting a degree in our home town. During the year we were apart, we always stayed faithful to one another and tried to see one another once a month. However, the distance did start to take its toll on us, not so much in terms of arguments or us not trusting one another, but more so in the communication and lack of intimacy. We initially broke up in January of this year, but still communicated once every couple days. Then in February, she came down and surprised me and told me that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I was overwhelmed by the whole situation and was not quite sure if I was ready for it. That being said, we continued to talk for the next few weeks, daily, but in late march she basically told me that bc i wasn’t ready to commit, it was time to move on. I do not blame her for this. She reached out to me once 2 weeks later telling me how much she missed me and how badly she was hurting, to which i reciprocated the message. A couple weeks later she began dating someone new (whom she is still dating), even going so far as to take a trip to Hawaii with him merely a month after we stopped talking. She has always been the kind of girl who has gone from one guy to the next, and in large part I blame this on the fact that her father passed away at a very young age and she never had a man figure in her life. Lastly on that point, i truly don't believe she is dating him as a way to rub it in my face, we had a mature relationship and never did anything to make one another jealous. So on to my point of the post. I dont really know what to do at this point. During our time apart i have really tried to focus on improving many aspects of myself, one being my commitment issues, not just in our relationship, but in life in general ( over the last few years i have made numerous life decisions where i have always believed the grass was greener, to which i have learned this is not always the case). About 2 months ago I reached out to her and sent her a letter basically telling her exactly how I felt about her, how much I missed her and how I had been working on myself. She replied and we talked on the phone but she basically said that she couldn’t do it anymore, that she had tried for 4 years and gave it her all, that she still loves me dearly but was not in the same place that I was. Since then I have only heard from her when she wished me a happy birthday last week. Anyways, I never realized how much I would miss her. I understand that if we were ever to get back together it would be necessary for me to move home and give her my full commitment, but at this point, those thoughts may all be moot. I have been dating other people as well during this time, but as girls try to get close to me, I continue to push them away bc in the back of my mind I know that im just not ready for another relationship and it wouldn’t be fair to them knowing that my ex is still on my mind daily. That being said, I have had an incredible hard time understanding how she was able to move on so quickly without me still her in mind. I know some people may chalk this up as a rebound by her, but its lasted into its 5th month now so seems that that is less likely than I originally thought. Has anyone face a similar situation or have any advice?

[Jusstme1977]

You should start your own thread to get more responses skins. Good luck.

[Hopingformore]

I am new to this site and this thread has helped me with what I am currently going through. I will post my story later in a new thread but wanted to share this story.

 

Ex's can come back even years later. My story ...I was divorced over ten years ago. My ex husband cheated on me with a woman and wanted a divorce. I begged him to reconsider due to our small children. I did not want the divorce at all and wanted to work on our relationship but he chose her over me. He gave me money to move out. Within the year of our divorce he married her. She moved into my new home and I was replaced.

They were married for ten years and I am not sure what happened but she eventually left him and they were divorced.

Last year my ex husband asked me to meet him for drinks to discuss our children. I met him and he really wanted to discuss us getting back. He apologized for everything, saying how he made such a mistake and that all these years he really loved me and always thought about me.

Of course it was too late. But even after all of the years he made contact and wanted to reconcile.

 

My girlfriend's story. She was with him for four years and he broke up with her. She was devastated. She begged him to reconsider....sent him letters and poems. Called him, slept with him but he just wanted to date other women. She eventually moved on and after five months he has begged her to come back. He has now attempted to get back with her for over a year. She was positive he would never come back to her.

 

I hope these two stories give people some hope that you really never know what can happen.

[Saffron_]

I got back together with my ex 6 years ago. Here's a rather depressing little update. I'm not posting it to try and bring any of you down though. I've known a few successful reconciliations. Just not my own.

 

[goddesstobe]

Forgot about this one - I'm attending a wedding of a couple that split up because of distance. They were apart for more than a month, less than a year. I don't know the exact details

[JohnWall4545]

Well damn. Here I am. Hurts like hell.

 

She cut it off after 2 years together. Everything was great the first year, both felt strongly that this was gonna end up with marriage and "happy ever after". My father suddenly passed away about midway through. Suffice it to say, it was the hardest thing I've EVER dealt with. The sadness made me drift a part from her. I was completely distraught over losing my dad and stopped doing all the things any normal girl needs in a relationship. I pushed her away. She tried hard to be there for me for about a year.

 

She finally threw her hands up in defeat and walked away. After the breakup, we talked around a month or so on and off but she had gone completely cold on me. I wanted to see her/visit, she always gave me the "idk response / I don't think it's a good idea/ I don't hate you, but I don't care anymore etc etc". So about 2 weeks ago I told her I can't do that anymore. No hard feelings, but I can't talk to you anymore. If you decide you want a future with us and want to try again, let me know, but I'm gone.

 

So...it's been 2 weeks and nothing on either end.

 

I'm conflicted on completely moving on or clinging to any hope that we can fix this. It's damn hard. Any advice, suggestions, encouragement is welcomed. TIA

[Kadbanoo]

This is a thread where people share stories of reconciliations - you should start a thread in "Healing" or "Coping" if you need advice.

[Jusstme1977]

bump!!!!!!!!! lets hear some more stories!

[VSM2002]

I'm really not sure that this counts, but my best friend has had a rocky relationship for a little while. He and his girlfriend broke up with lots of screaming a few weeks ago (right in front of me, too. I witnessed the twenty-plus minute altercation -- not an awkward situation at all, haha) and the next afternoon they were back together. It seems they've done this a few times, and the advice I offered to him was that if they're willing to go through this a few times a year together, then best of luck to them.

 

A friend of mine recently told me about a couple she knows (mid-60s or so, they're family friends) that is very happily married. They were divorced once, and remarried some years later.

 

An older relative on my father's side who is in his 90s now was married three times. His current, and third wife, was also his first wife. I think there was a twenty-year gap in between.

 

Having been reading this thread for a little while, I just have to say... yes, I am reading it to feel better and yes it makes me feel better. I'm not sitting and waiting to reconcile, but I sure hope the chance comes to both me and her one day. We both have plenty to work on, and I don't know what the future holds. We're young and have our lives ahead of us. And most importantly, we know these things happen. We also know that it's not right to sit and wait for them. But there is no formula. I've seen a lot of debate here over whether girls come back, guys come back, "the magic 30 day NC rule," etc. The best thing is to erase all of that from your mind. I'm sure when my relative married after his first divorce, the last thing either party expected was for him to remarry his first wife again one day. Sometimes reconciliation happens, and sometimes it doesn't. We who want it just need to not think about it -- I know, easier said than done. I know that just as well as anybody here.

 

Good luck, and stay positive.

[jobelle]

My parents were broken up for about a year when they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Now married for almost 40 years.

[evam]

My friend's mother dated someone in high school who was her first love but they separated (I don't know the reason). She married another man and had 2 daughters with him (one being my friend). They later divorced and she came back marrying her high school sweetheart, I believe she's around 50 now.

[Mushyheart421]

Ex's do come back! Look at Lebron James returning to the Cavaliers lol. All

Kidding aside I think after reading a lot of these stories. Men come back way more often than women and in either sense you have to improve yourself first. I hope to one day be able to return with my own success story with my ex.

 

Bumpp more stories of getting lovers back

[ntAgainPetunia]

I know of at least four couples that split up and got back together. I don't know who initiated the breakups or how long they were, but here goes:

 

1) An engineer I work with casually mentioned in a meeting that it was his second anniversary. I was confused, as we both have 19 year olds in college. He must have sensed my confusion, because he then told me that he and his wife were divorced for five years, and this was the anniversary of the second marriage.

 

2) My second wife's mom, M, had been dating a guy E for a while but they split up for some reason. M went into a rebound and had a child (my ex) who she then put up for adoption, as the guy wasn't in the picture and M wasn't ready to raise a child alone. Within two years, M and E got back together, had two more children and have been married for about 40 years! (My ex found M as an adult and re-established relations with her, and E treats her like she's his own daughter)

 

3) My current ex's best friend H and her husband L split up for a while about 10 years ago. L went and had a child with another woman, woman turned out to be unstable, and at some point H and L got back together and have been married since (maybe 8 years?). L has his daughter one month a year (she's 2000 miles away) and H treats her as her own.

 

4) My own ex, S was with her bf N off and on through their 20s and 30s. I think they broke up twice, not sure for how long. They ended up being married for 7 years and had two kids, which I think was the final nail in their coffin.

 

It's these stories, especially the one with S, that give me some small hope that we will get back together. Either way, I'll work on making myself the best me I can be and we'll see where that goes.

[Kris92]

I came to this forum because of my ex contacting me after 10 months NC.

All throughout those months, I still loved him, never stopped loving him.

Though he claimed he just wanted to be friends again at first and been like that for a couple weeks... We did get back together. And we've been better than ever.

[evam]

I came to this forum because of my ex contacting me after 10 months NC.

All throughout those months, I still loved him, never stopped loving him.

Though he claimed he just wanted to be friends again at first and been like that for a couple weeks... We did get back together. And we've been better than ever.

 

I'm curious to know the reason you two broke up in the first place and how long did the relationship last, if you don't mind me asking

[Kris92]

I'm curious to know the reason you two broke up in the first place and how long did the relationship last, if you don't mind me asking

 

He was stressed out with his job as he was just been promoted as an airline captain and they moved him out of state. We were together for almost 7 months. During our break, he also met someone else... But he said of all the ones he met, I treated him best and he just can't forget the way I made him feel. So yeah. Lol

[Moomoomike]

Here is one from another post. Got her back haha!

 

Im 29 going on 30. Had an 8 year relationship, lived together for 7 years, engaged for over a year. Gorgeous woman. Really beautiful and amazing. It would get annoying, everyone calling me crazy that I havent married her or knocked her up yet. Family always telling me to lock her in ASAP, because theres millions of guys who will if I dont. But I always felt she would never leave. She basically worshiped me. Well she eventually did leave because I was just moving way to slow. We had a wedding date set, but I wanted to extend the date. Thats when I lost her. 3 months after that she said it was over, she didnt feel in love with me, ect ect. I asked her if there was any way I could change her mind, and she said no it was to late. I told her okay then, I wont make this harder on us and ill just grab my clothes and leave. Told her she can keep everything in the house, I just wanted to leave and didnt want to drag it out.

 

 

After that I kind of went nuts. I had alot of money saved for the wedding, so I bought a Harley, and just went on weekend vacations all over the place. After a month of traveling around, thats when it all started. I started sleeping with other women, alot. For about 6 months I recall sleeping with a about 20 different people most of them multiple times. It was unhealthy. I was sleeping with women from my gym, women from work, bar tenders, waitresses and their friends too after the originals had enough of me. This was really the longest I ever been single, I went from a 3 year relationship to an 8 year with only a 2 month gap. So I was shocked at how easy it was to find someone new. But no matter how fun they were, or pretty they were, the pain wasnt going away. So I kept doing it and doing it thinking id find someone who was going to make me forget her. But that never happened. Everything was empty. By the way I got tested every month during this period and used protection dont judge me. Im ashamed as it is.

 

One day I decide to hit up the mall and read a book in the food court. She pops up out of nowhere and just sits down. Felt like I was looking at a ghost. First time we spoke since I moved out. We start talking and catching up. She apologized for cancelling the wedding, and I joked back, " that reminds me I gotta fire the caterers and DJ" After that everything was less awkward. She asked me if I wanted to go check out this band that was playing that night and I said sure, why not. I picked her up on my bike and her jaw dropped. She couldnt believe I bought a bike and she was nervous to take it out, and wanted to just drive her car. I talked her into getting on and when we pulled into the parking lot, she said she just wanted to cruise around instead. So we did and she had a blast. I drop her off, she invites me in, we have sex, and she asks me to stay the night. I do, the next morning she made me breakfast and told me shes not over me, shes not done with us and she wants me to come back. I did.

 

That was 2 months ago, we been together for 2 months, no plans of wedding yet. She mentioned it, and I told her, listen you want to get married still, you ask me this time. I already asked you and you said yes.....then you said no. Its your turn now. She hasnt yet but I really dont care seriously. But she has been very curious about what I did during our time apart and I reply we were single, I dont care what you did, dont mind what I did, let it go. She eventually just tells me she slept with someone for 4 months anyways. I felt at this point I had to lie, if she found out I slept with over 20 people I dont think she could handle it. Really I dont. And whats worse is all these women I slept with were at the gym I go to, work, restourants and bars we both go to on dates now......its a constant reminder of my lie. Its eating at me. And if she wants to get married again, I dont think I can go through with it until im honest.

[Jacksonv]

Stories I know of.

 

1. I was 20 she was 18. Together for 3 years. She went to Disneyland with family and her guy friend called me to get her number so he could hangout with her while she was in the area. Gave it to him.

 

She comes back from this trip and says she doesn't love me anymore and leaves the next day to live with the guy friend who I gave the number to.

 

At this time texting didn't exist so all I can do is wait for her to contact me. I see her at friends wedding and profess my love for her. Didn't work. Her and the new guy get engaged.

 

I go down to where she is living and spend the day with her after she calls me to catch up one time. Profess my love again, she says "loves me but not in love" and "maybe we could be together in like ten years, who knows".

 

Over the following months she calls me several a times. I act like a friend and talk to her about her new guy, ask questions about sex life and everything.

 

She calls me one day and says she is so mad at him and is leaving him. Then calls back and says never mind she was being emotional.

 

Calls back several times and we keep in touch. Eventually she calls and says she's over it with the new guy and comes to see me that day with all her things. We kiss that night and she says she still loves me. I think "do I really want this now"? We get back together and 2 years later I leave her for someone else. Didn't like it and we got back together. 1.5 years later she leaves me again. I get her back. She leaves again a year or two later. I get her back again.

 

Things finally end when she sits me down and says "why don't you just marry me and have a family". I wasn't ready and we slowly drift apart. She ends up with a close friend and they are married now with 3 kids and I've never wanted her back.

 

2. My old roommate gets dumped by her new husband. She dates around for "free dinner off dating sites". Don't see her for two years until recently and her ex husband came back! It was two years later. They seem happy.

 

3. My aunt left her husband cause he was abusive and just mean. He lost 100 pounds and tried to get her back for several months. He basically stalkes her at work by sitting in the parking lot and watching her after work.

 

She finds a new guy and dates him for 8 months. Doesn't have any contact with the ex. One day the ex calls up and invited her for one last weekend together. He pays for her flight since they are 600 miles apart at this point. My aunt says she only went caus she figures "free weekend and a free flight why not".

 

The spend a couple days together and when they are driving around she randomly blurts out "I want to come back". She says God made her say it and she has no idea why she said it in the first place. They've been married for 40 years and she is happy that they are together.

 

4. My friend had a long term relationship with a girl in his early 20s. He kept cheating and she kept leaving. He got her back after showing up at her house and smashing a window with a hammer to scare off her new dude. She eventually found a great guy online and got married to him. The off on thing lasted at least 6 years. Not really sure. I think at one point they were apart for a year and when they got back together the guy she him left for saw them at a stop light and pulled a gun on them both. They sped away and nothing happened.

 

So moral of the story. Life is crazy and who knows what will happen.

----

 

On a different note.

 

1. My sister left her husband of six years cause he got deeply into Scientology and 150k into debt with it. He changed dramatically and basically became obssed and unstable with the cult/religion. She moved out one day and never spoke to him since. She immediately got together with the professor in one of her classes and he is now my brother in law of 9 years. The ex still tries to contact her randomly.

 

2. My ex roommate broke up with her bf for someone else she wokred with. At the end of relationship (3 years) her ex bf wouldn't have sex with her and was going on dates with girls from dating websites (while they were still together). He told her all about it and I still remember her crying in his closet about it for months.

 

Anywho 3 years later she is still with the new guy and doing great. Her ex tried to get her back after a couple months no contact. But why would she go back to that?

 

3. I know many friends who broke up with someone but it was usually a "ehh so what" type thing. In my experience if there was a long relationship and strong mutual bond the people end up in each others life again. Unless the breakup was for very good reasons that were extremely obvious.

 

I can't really think of anyone I know of who broke up for "out of love" or "rebound" without getting back together really. That is unless the breakup was for very obvious reasons "person dramatically changed or was leaving the relationship anyways".

 

I noticed most people get back together either right away 1-2 months or much longer 1-2+ years.

 

These are the experiences I draw from. Life is crazy and people are unpredictable.

[Mushyheart421]

Overall the trend seems to be the guy coming back after dumping the girl. There are Far less stories of females coming back and most of them return quickly after the break up within a few months. I wish someone out there had a story of the girl leaving and quickly dating another guy, being extremely happy with that guy then breaking up with that guy for an ex. All of the replies have been because the guy cheated and then the girl just ran back to something familiar but nothing about missing the love. Can anyone relate?

[takeflight]

Overall the trend seems to be the guy coming back after dumping the girl. There are Far less stories of females coming back and most of them return quickly after the break up within a few months. I wish someone out there had a story of the girl leaving and quickly dating another guy, being extremely happy with that guy then breaking up with that guy for an ex. All of the replies have been because the guy cheated and then the girl just ran back to something familiar but nothing about missing the love. Can anyone relate?

 

Hi Mushy, I was once like that with an ex bf. I left him because at one point I felt that everything was getting stale. I dated another guy after that (not that quick though) and after some time I just missed my ex. So I broke up with the new guy and went back to my ex. He was over me by then, so I got my heart broken.

 

That being said, it is possible, but please know that each case is different. There's no point following whatever trend or statistics.

[yoyo123789]

I look on this forum a lot to see if there are any new stories about people getting back together with their ex's. I do it just so that I can have some hope, and I really hope someday I can post my story on here to give others confidence that having hope pays off. In the meantime, I am going to make a list of actual stories of people I know that broke up and got back together. Please post your stories here too and we can put a little bit of cheer into this forum.

 

1. My friend was dumped by his girlfriend of 4 years. They were broken up for a year and a half and he tried everything to get her back. One day he was with his friend talking about her and she called him right then to talk about something trivial, and he went over to her house. They got back together and now they are engaged.

 

2. My friend's sister and her husband broke up for four years and now they are married with 3 kids.

 

3. My friend broke up with her high school sweetheart when we were 19 and they got back together a few years later and have been together ever since.

 

4. My other friend broke up with her high school sweetheart when she was a sophomore in college and they just got back together and now they live together.

 

5. A friend of my ex's was so sad about a girl forever, talked about her all the time when we were out at the clubs, couldn't believe they broke up, etc....now they have been back together for over a year.

 

6. My friend and her boyfriend dated for a few years, broke up for 9 months, now they are engaged. She says their relationship is better than ever now they are back together.

 

7. My friend was hung up on this guy forever, he would go back and forth and never commit, now they are living together and she is going to have a baby. They are really happy and in the end it worked out great.

 

That is just some of the stories I know off the top of my head. Please post any stories of reconciliation that you know of so that we can have some cheer in this forum.

 

cool i agree it happens but did you notice something common in all those scenarios? it's always women who break up. when its a guy who breaks up the chances are close to zero that they will get back together and it will be successful come back. firstly maybe ts because a guy has to more decisive about his actions and then when they reconcile, its way harder for a woman to trust again knowing that the guy left her. she needs to feel secure. pity it never worked for me, i always seems to love more than the guy and hes the one that dumps me...

[Mushyheart421]

Hi Mushy, I was once like that with an ex bf. I left him because at one point I felt that everything was getting stale. I dated another guy after that (not that quick though) and after some time I just missed my ex. So I broke up with the new guy and went back to my ex. He was over me by then, so I got my heart broken.

 

That being said, it is possible, but please know that each case is different. There's no point following whatever trend or statistics.

 

cool i agree it happens but did you notice something common in all those scenarios? it's always women who break up. when its a guy who breaks up the chances are close to zero that they will get back together and it will be successful come back. firstly maybe ts because a guy has to more decisive about his actions and then when they reconcile, its way harder for a woman to trust again knowing that the guy left her. she needs to feel secure. pity it never worked for me, i always seems to love more than the guy and hes the one that dumps me...

 

 

I completely disagree with what you just said. Women spend more time on making their decisions and check out long before the relationship is ever over. Men usually just get bored and if you use no contact, better yourself and actually try and move on they will eventually come back and realize what they are missing. Women replace quick and fall in love again even faster making it harder for all that same stuff to work. If you read this forum you'll see the odds for guy dumpers returning out weighs girl dumpers returning. Anythings possible but that's just what I have seemed to notice. I'd love to be proven wrong and return with my own story. I've better myself with huge leaps and bounds and still am in no contact and so should you.

[Hopelessdevote]

Hi all,

 

I've been reading through this entire thread (way back since 2009) and its incredible how many stories there have been. Obviously what brought me here was my own break up, which happened almost 2 months ago. We were together for 2 years. Reading this thread has been incredibly therapeutic not only just hearing people's stories of getting back together (or not sometimes and finding something better), but how people dealt with the break-up. It's definitely helped me stay strong and brings me hope, but at the same time I try to stay realistic. My boyfriend and I had a great relationship over the course of 2 years, we talked about our future together and everyone from the outside looking in thought we were going to get married. We rarely fought, had a lot of laughs, adventures, and good times. But then we had a serious conversation one day, which I thought we resolved, and then a week later BAM he wasn't sure what he wanted out of this relationship anymore. It was so out of the blue, especially because I didn't see any withdrawal. It honestly seemed like a rash decision to me. So I don't know what is going to happen, but for all you lost souls out there here are a few stories to keep you going:

 

A close friend of mine was dating this guy (who I am also good friends with). They had a great relationship and seemed very good together. About a year and a half in he broke up with her out of the blue. They had gone out for dinner the night before and everything was fine, and then the next day he broke up with her, really didn't give her a good reason. She went into NC right away, and about a month later he came CRAWLING BACK, asking to take her back. They eventually did get back together and they still are, and have been living together the past year and a half. I think they will get married. It took her a while to trust him again, and once he was finally able to admit why he broke up with her (I don't even think he knew why, it was just a rash decision) basically he freaked out and was worried that things were getting too serious and he didn't know if he wanted that. But over the course of the month he smartened up and realized how amazing she is and went back to her. Sometimes its just a case of cold feet, and not knowing how good you have it until its gone.

 

Second story is about my best friend. Her and her boyfriend got together in highschool - grade 10 I believe (we are now 24). They were together for many years and were very happy, and then about 4-5 years in she started to get a case of GIGS (grass is greener) and wasn't sure about him anymore. They started to fight a lot more and she kept finding things she didn't like about him. One day she had enough and broke up with him. She's a gorgeous girl so once word was out that she was single, guys were falling all over her. She went on a few dates with one guy, but she realized that he didn't compare to her ex boyfriend. Her ex boyfriend had a hard time letting go and would message her a lot and she would get annoyed. I believe 2-3 months later they reconnected and got back together for a few more years. Then a few years later he started going through some personal issues (was dealing with anxiety and hypochondria) and started getting very stressed about school - again this drove her to look elsewhere because she felt unimportant and couldn't deal with his stresses and how it was affecting their relationship. They broke up yet again and this time for a good 6 months. At this point, I think he took it more seriously and actually realized they might not get back together. So he started to work on himself, got rid of his anxiety problems, and even started dating. She started dating as well, but one day they reconnected. They both happened to be on vacation in a small town near our city (she has a vacation home up there) and she invited him to her place and they spent the weekend alone together. One thing led to another and they worked their problems out. It was hard, and some days it still is, but they are still together and happier than ever. There seems to be a pattern with relationships that start in highschool, and its often the case that you haven't had a chance to see what else is out there. She always loved him, and he always loved her, but sometimes it took seeing what else is out there to really confirm that they were meant to be together. Also, it was 6 months later and they had both moved on, and little contact in between (probably a text convo once a month) and I think that played a huge role in their success this time around. They are just one of those couples that everyone looks at and says "yep...theyre getting married."

 

Third story, another one of my close friends. They got together in their early 20's. they broke up about 2 years in due to him wanting to be single and experience life without her. She was distraught, but she managed to carry on. I think they had little contact, but eventually he came crawling back realizing how great she was. about another year and a half later he got a case of GIGS and broke up with her again. briefly dated this other girl, realized what a HUGE MISTAKE it was, and again went crawling back to my friend. This time it took about 2-3 months. I'd say for the first 2-3 years of their relationship he did NOT deserve her. She is a great girl and did so much for him, and he honestly needed to work on himself and become a better boyfriend. He's a great guy, but I think just had issues on how to be a good boyfriend. Eventually they got back together and he has actually become a WAY BETTER PERSON AND BOYFRIEND. They are incredibly happy and are still together.

 

When we enter relationships when we are young, there are a lot of complications because we are still trying to figure out who we are and what we want out of life. It's often the case that you lose your identity in a relationship as you put so much into it. I love my ex boyfriend and I know how much he loves and cares about me too. We were a great match and had so much fun together, and there was a lot of love, But something snapped in him and made him change his mind about the relationship, and at this point theres nothing I can do about it. I can sit here and analyze it, or be pouty and negative, but that's not going to change anything. In this short 7 weeks since the break-up I have remained positive and re-discovered who I am without him. It's been hard, and I miss him tremendously, but if it's meant to be it will, and these things take time. If it doesn't work out, well then that means the universe has something better planned for me. We'll see though, I'll keep you all updated! Just remember to stay positive, because people (your ex or anyone in general) are attracted to positive vibes. You get out of the universe what you put in, and if you send positive, loving vibes out, you will receive them in return, and will have a greater chance of either re-attracting your ex back to you, or attracting someone else that may even be better. Just do what you need to do, and don't listen to the negative talk, because from what i've read and what i've seen, reconciliation is quite common, and sometimes it takes not having something to realize how good you had it.

[anecdotic]

@Mushy

 

My good friend broke up with a guy she was dating for 6 years or so back in March, but were back together after a few months. They had broken up because she felt as if he was taking the relationship for granted and that he was getting too comfortable. She did casually date someone else during the break within the first month of breaking up, but found out the guy was married. Her ex reached out to her after a week of her going NC and eventually gave him an ultimatum to get back together. However, here we are 6 months later and she wants to break up with him again since he hasn't really changed, as well as thinks about the 'fling' she had during the breakup. So the moral of the story is: if you are broken up, do everything you can to change or it will happen again.