Getting back together really does happen!

[Yostina]

brokenhurt, if you are a Muslim I understand because it is allowed to marry someone from your relatives in Islam. But in some states it is illegal because children are more likely to be unhealthy. That's why they were shocked

[brokenhurt]

brokenhurt, if you are a Muslim I understand because it is allowed to marry someone from your relatives in Islam. But in some states it is illegal because children are more likely to be unhealthy. That's why they were shocked

 

oh thanks for removing my confusion lol i got shocked that why they are behaving like this anyway thanks an yes i m a muslim, r u ? and if not how do you know?

[Yostina]

You're welcome hehe

 

Nope, I'm not. I live in an Islamic country so I have a good background about Islam.

May I ask where are you from?

[brokenhurt]

You're welcome hehe

 

Nope, I'm not. I live in an Islamic country so I have a good background about Islam.

May I ask where are you from?

 

i had PM you i hope you recieved it.regards

[faithful14]

anyone else have any more stories to share?

[Rally]

Lol well my really close friend got back together with her boyfriend after he left her for someone else..

[faithful14]

ohhh sounds interesting....can you give anymore details on the story...how long they were apart, were they in NC?

[Rally]

Well she couldn't take it anymore after finding out that he was talking very intimately with another girl so she dumped him. But was extremely upset becuase she loved him so much. 7 days after the break up he left her for this "new" girl. .. and after a painful 4 months of NC .. they got back together and he left the new girl.

 

So yea it does happen..

 

I know these stories are suppose to give hope.. but everytime i stumble accross this thread.. i just feel incredibly envious of all the people that got their happy endings.

[faithful14]

A little hope is okay, nobody should live their life waiting for it to happen though. I just like hearing these stories because on a hard day like today, it just makes me feel better inside.

 

I truly believe we will all have our happy ending; whether with the ex or with someone new : )

[Ariel85]

oh thanks for removing my confusion lol i got shocked that why they are behaving like this anyway thanks an yes i m a muslim, r u ? and if not how do you know?

 

Um...here in America, it's called incest, and is illegal. Americans consider being romantically involved with a relative to be pretty taboo.

[Rally]

A little hope is okay, nobody should live their life waiting for it to happen though. I just like hearing these stories because on a hard day like today, it just makes me feel better inside.

 

I truly believe we will all have our happy ending; whether with the ex or with someone new : )

 

Haha thats really good attitude.. ! yea your right actaully. I am just bitter about my current situation but I believe you are right!

[brokenhurt]

Um...here in America, it's called incest, and is illegal. Americans consider being romantically involved with a relative to be pretty taboo.

 

in islam its legal ,you cant marry your real sister but you can marry your relatives like uncle's daughter or aunt's daughter ....

[restlessgirl]

Aren't you worried about your children having birth defects etc ? Not to be rude, I'm just curious as I never hear that side

[brokenhurt]

Aren't you worried about your children having birth defects etc ? Not to be rude, I'm just curious as I never hear that side

 

lol i never did so,mean i never got married with any of my relative neither we have/had any kind of sexual relationship,it is just a matter of discussion lol we are just discussing here .

 

by the way i know a number of people who got married in their family with their cousins or relatives and they are having happy life with healthy children

 

i think we should end this discussion here,as this discussion is really diverting the real topic

[Jocolly]

Ok, real true life story! It is a a friend of a friend of mine… but it really is a friend of a friend – one of my best friends, its her friend, and now she’s going to be bridesmaid (my best friend - not her friend obviously!)

 

I wasn’t overly friendly with my best friend when this happened a few years ago, but she tells me this story at least once a week on days when I am struggling so I feel I know it very well now!

 

Lets call my friend Darcy, her friend Meg and her ex David for anonymity.

 

Meg had been with David for sometime, about 5-6 years, but the relationship had gone stale (at least on his end) and he started looking for outside stimulation!

Meg didn’t want to, but saw no other choice then to break off the relationship to allow them to see what they wanted. She moved out, and from all reports from Darcy was a real mess! She couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep etc etc….

 

Apparently they tried to work it out, but no joy – he just carried on being a prized idiot!

 

NC followed for 6 months – she started seeing someone else, worked on her self and had become happy again.

 

Then one night she is in a bar when another woman approaches her and tells her she has been seeing David for 8 months! Which obviously implies significant overlap - which he had always denied!

 

This was the final straw, apparently she went round to his and balled him out, left him under no illusions that he wasn’t good enough to lick her shoes etc etc. With this apparently he broke down, apologised and said he had realised that he had been so wrong and that life wasn’t worth living if they were apart.

 

Meg decided to give him a second chance (although every one said she was mad apparently), and he is like a changed man. She had a bereavement not too long after they got back together and apparently he really stepped up and was a rock for her. And now they are getting married!

 

The bit that Darcy always emphasises to me is that they both changed and grew during there time apart! She said that was the key….

 

Ramble over, hope it helps!

[serendipity28]

i hope it really does happen

[Missfloss]

I had always wished that one day I could write my own 'getting back together' story on here... Buut sadly for me it just wasn't "meant to be" =/ ((sighh))

 

Anyway, the story actually still involves my ex and although we were once engaged and set to marry - we spilt up and unfortunately for I, my ex met his most recent girlfriend through his workplace and she had her own place. Before long he had moved in with her and life seemed to be all rosey and happy for him (whilst I was still in a mess and my heart shattered into tiny pieces).

A year on and they split up this January '10, I heard this from his mum (of all people!!!) and with hope that he may have missed me after all this time and come hunting me down again... it was a wish that would never come true for me 6-7 months later my ex has now gone back to his most recent ex and he's living back with her again. I guess they were just "meant to be" =/ ((sighh again))

 

Buut my point to all this is, even though I didn't have the outcome I most desired - it still goes to show that people really do get back together more often that you think... It just may not always be the one that you wanted (or hoped for!).... Like me!,... Gulp.

[AmericanHuney]

It's not over until the fat lady sings Missfloss, you just never know dear

[AmericanHuney]

Oh they always come back lol always...the real question is will you want them when they do? Now that's a good question

[faithful14]

I hope we all get our shot at reconciliation

 

I know I do..............

[DN]

I think it is misleading to tell people that ex's always come back. The fact is that the majority don't.

[Capthxc]

I think it is misleading to tell people that ex's always come back. The fact is that the majority don't.

Agree 100%

 

It's nice to hear stories about reconciliation, but dont let it instill you with false hope. People around here need to learn that ex's are ex's for a reason. Getting back together and starting a new relationship with an ex are two different things. I find most success stories stem from the fact that couples decided to start over instead of jumping back into something that didnt work.

 

I myself would love for my most recent ex to come back. She was a wonderful person that i took for granted. But I need to do some major work on myself if that was to ever happen. I couldnt jump back into what we had, or else we would just end up breaking up again and feeling even more horrible about it. If i was to get back with her it would have to be after some significant time has passed and she wants to allow me back into her life. It's not really about just me anymore, or even just her, but it's about what we both need.

 

Let these stories make you feel better about your situation, but dont give yourself false hope. I did for 2 months and in the end it made me feel even worse.

[AmericanHuney]

I think it is misleading to tell people that ex's always come back. The fact is that the majority don't.

 

I disagree, but we all have our own individual opinions. So I respect yours, still I think they always come back.

[byates5637]

I posted here a bunch about an ex girlfriend 3-4 years ago. We dated for 2 years before finally splitting. Basically I dumped her and quickly realized I made a mistake but she was already over it. I was devastated but after a few months of NC she came around and we got back together. I don't think I ever posted about the reconciliation because as others have said...there is no reason to post when everything is going good. Anyway things started off great with us but slowly deteriorated until she finally left me about 6 months later. After this breakup there was some more NC and a few short lived tried at rekindling before we finally called it quits for good. I moved on and am now hung up on a new exgirlfriend that I just broke up with. Haven't talked to the ex in about 2.5 years.

 

So in summary, I think reconciliation happens very, very often, but it is much more rare that it is actually successful long-term the 2nd (or 3rd) time around.

[LeeRoy6071]

I respect the opinions but I agree with AmericanHuney. There are so many stories of people getting back together, it's just you don't always hear about them. Even the U.S. Census Bureau has stats on couples that get back together and re-marry, as well as by some reports as much as 80% of unreported couples. And that is just for the big commitment of marriage (not getting back together for being an unmarried couple).

 

I believe that the reason why many couples don't get back together is simply they did not stop to analyze and correct the problems in the relationship before getting back together. So they got back together too soon and, predictably, the same problems resurfaced only to lead to another BU. By analyzing what exactly went wrong and how to fix their own end of it (because relationships are always 50/50 no matter how you do the math), you can increase the probability that you'll at least have a 2nd chance with an ex if the ex is still in some friendly contact down the road.

 

Someone in the forums here (I forgot who it was) wrote that there is no such thing as 'false hope,' and I totally concur. Hope, by definition, does not imply any 'guarantee'. Therefore, since hope has no guarantee to begin with (maybe only anticipation), you can't have 'false hope.' So I say it's okay to hope BUT you don't let that be the end-with-all. Optimism is good, provided it is guided by realism.

 

Given the choice between simply giving up every time and focusing on hope, I'd choose the latter. But I've not allowed 'hope' to dictate my vision and by focusing on myself, I've actually brought ex's back into my life naturally.