Would this concern you?

[AngryHeart]

Okay, here goes. A 17-year-old guy likes to spend quite a lot of time with a 7-year-old little girl. When she is around he has been known often to take her to hang out in his bedroom. It's always been looked at as innocent because they would say they had been playing on his Xbox or listening to music, etc. But one afternoon among trying to walk into the bedroom, it's found that the door is locked. After a good few minutes of knocking on the door, the door is finally unlocked and opened. Music is playing and the girl is sitting back on the bed, back against the wall. He then comes out of his bedroom and goes sit down on the sofa and watches TV. When asked what they were doing the girl says "listening to music that's all" He also likes to take her to the shops and little things like that.

 

Is it jumping guns to suspect MAYBE abuse?

[Comatose]

Not at all. If the door's closed and locked you have the right to be suspicious. Always trust your gut instinct regarding abuse. The signs are always there.

[redhearts]

Uhm ew. You should take that girl to a hospital to get checked.

[gidget1]

Trust your gut instinct, and perhaps even tell him not to lock the door or leave the door open - it should not have to be private at all if it's just xbox and music.

look for signs.

[cafecomleite]

my alarm bells are going off.

[laisla]

wow. there's no reason for the door to be locked.

 

are the 17 year old boy and 7 year old girl related?

[cafecomleite]

what is a 17year old dude hanging out with a 7 year old girl for?

[lila...]

That sounds a little strange to be honest.

[browneyedgirl36]

I would say it's pretty suspicious. For a 17-year old boy to spend a lot of time -- in his bedroom, no less -- with a 7 year old girl is strange, at the very least. MAYBE if she was his little sister, but even then, if there's that much of an age difference, why wouldn't he play video games and music and stuff with friends his own age? Even if they were just "friends," he really should have "friends" closer to his age -- not children.

 

The bedroom door being locked, and her being on his bed...VERY suspicious. If I found the door locked and knew they were in there together, I'd be concerned.

 

If it were me, I'd say yes, abuse is likely. At the very least, something strange is going on.

[gidget1]

Yeah, to be honest, if any 17 year old I knew wanted to spend a lot of time with a 7 year old - I'd ask WHY.

[huskiesfan]

Nope. Two HUGE red flags in the fact that the door was locked, and that it took a few minutes for the guy to open the door. Plus, the answer, "We were listening to music, that's all" is sending alarm bells ringing in my head. Take the girl to go get checked, and don't allow her to be alone with this guy like that any longer.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Doors shut are bad enough.. Door locked??? HUGE RED FLAG!! I'd be beating that door down.

[AngryHeart]

They are uncle and niece. The reason I ask is because I don't always know wether to trust my own opinions on things like this. Because of personal past experience I seem to be quicker to distrust.

 

He says he adores her and that he feels protective over her like she is his sister, or even daughter. I'm not quite sure why this would be or how the bedroom thing would fit in... my brain is foggy.

 

What would be the best way to go about this? Talk to the little girl? Talk to her and then have her checked? Talk to him? I don't want her tramutised if nothing is going on and to ask her questions, or she say smething that leads to the wrong answer? Am I making sense??

[kuiks8]

it might be nothing but it's never worth the risk...go with your gut...

[waveseer]

I would have kicked the door open and repaired it later.

[rosephase]

I would have it checked out. But I would like to point out if it was a 17 year old girl people might not be asking why. Because it's more okay for girls to want to be around small kids. I'm not saying you shouldn't look into it, I'm am just saying that something bad isn't the only option.

[Mythical_Suicide]

My brother is 10 years older than me and even though my parents fully trusted him I was never allowed in his room with the door shut, much less locked because they didn't want to take a chance with the temptation. There is no reason for a 17 year old to be locked in a bedroom witha 7 year old little girl.. no reason whatsoever unless something is going on.

[rosephase]

They are uncle and niece. The reason I ask is because I don't always know wether to trust my own opinions on things like this. Because of personal past experience I seem to be quicker to distrust.

 

He says he adores her and that he feels protective over her like she is his sister, or even daughter. I'm not quite sure why this would be or how the bedroom thing would fit in... my brain is foggy.

 

What would be the best way to go about this? Talk to the little girl? Talk to her and then have her checked? Talk to him? I don't want her tramutised if nothing is going on and to ask her questions, or she say smething that leads to the wrong answer? Am I making sense??

 

Is it your little girl? I would tell the parents first if you have misgivings. Or maybe talk to the boy's parents?

[laisla]

i have a 7 year old nephew who i used to live with and even helped potty train when he was a toddler, but the doors were never ever locked, and hardly ever closed. keep a distance between them so that they're not alone. he might be telling her what to say.

[kuiks8]

They are uncle and niece. The reason I ask is because I don't always know wether to trust my own opinions on things like this. Because of personal past experience I seem to be quicker to distrust.

 

He says he adores her and that he feels protective over her like she is his sister, or even daughter. I'm not quite sure why this would be or how the bedroom thing would fit in... my brain is foggy.

 

What would be the best way to go about this? Talk to the little girl? Talk to her and then have her checked? Talk to him? I don't want her tramutised if nothing is going on and to ask her questions, or she say smething that leads to the wrong answer? Am I making sense??

 

i would just set some very strong boundaries and keep an eye on the girl to see if she starts showing any behaviors that go with abuse...

brothers/fathers/grandfathers/uncles have at times abused those they "love"

[HeartGoesOn]

If there were nothing going on, that door wouldn't be locked. This needs to be stopped, and looked into, ASAP, as this child is likely being abused.

[avman]

I agree with all the others. Having the door locked is a huge red flag and I think there needs to be adult intervention right away. No more spending time together unsupervised and the girl needs to be talked to about possible abuse.

 

If she hasn't had the good touch/bad touch discussion then it needs to happen right away.

[rosephase]

If there were nothing going on, that door wouldn't be locked. This needs to be stopped, and looked into, ASAP, as this child is likely being abused.

 

I wouldn't approach the issue like this. It could be harmless and the male is still a kid to. If you where wrong you might make a lot of people in that family very unhappy and really hurt the 17 year old.

 

Abuse it a hard issue to deal with. I would sit down with both sets of parents and tell them your misgivings. Until you can do that, just try and make sure the door is open.

[AngryHeart]

i have a 7 year old nephew who i used to live with and even helped potty train when he was a toddler' date=' but the doors were never ever locked, and hardly ever closed. keep a distance between them so that they're not alone. he might be telling her what to say.[/quote']

 

Yeah. If I'm with a child/children I try and think and make sure I don't lock doors or shut if I can help it, just because you never know what people could think and children can and have said things that can lead to people thinking something that isn't what it sounds like. You would think a 17-year-old boy would be very aware of that even more so than a female. I know females can abuse too but you know...it's not as common and people don't think about that as much.

 

This will be looked into and sorted. From what I know she appears normal and happy. No visable signs.

[george237]

I would def try and figure out what went on. However, if you try and talk to her she will probably get scared and not tell you anything because she knows it is wrong and it shouldn't have happened. I would send her to a child therapist and see what they can pull out of her. Bringing her to a doctor for an examination can change her forever, and what if nothing really happened.