itsthethoughtthatcounts Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Is it even possible? I went out with a guy who was confessing his love for me in under 2 weeks. Is this a red flag or can someone feel so strongly for someone in such a short amount of time of knowing them? Link to comment
Bad Wolf Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Is it even possible? I went out with a guy who was confessing his love for me in under 2 weeks. Is this a red flag or can someone feel so strongly for someone in such a short amount of time of knowing them? imo you cant... he doesnt even know you, it's just infatuation. Link to comment
suzexxx Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 im not so sure. my boyfriend said he loved me after two weeks of being together and we are still together now 20months later, although i admit at the moment we are going through a rocky patch, but we are sorting things out. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 No. Not unless you have low expectations. Simply loving something or someone after 2 weeks means you dont really know that other person or thing. At 2 weeks you can hardly have developed a relationship of any depth. Mind you this all depends on what people define as love. Simply being attracted to someone whether physical or personality wise does not constitute love. For other it might. In my experience the ones who "fall in love" easily are also the ones who fall out of love easily and are the ones who have a difficult time keeping meaningful relationships. Link to comment
S agapo Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 no way, u hardly don't know the person at all. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 When someone declares their love in two weeks they are confusing infatuation with love and are very likely simply in love with the idea of being in love. Link to comment
starlight40 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 I think its either infatuation or somwthing more sinister, heres a paragraph from Dr Joe Carver 2. Quick Attachment and Expression "The Loser" has very shallow emotions and connections with others. One of the things that might attract you to "The Loser" is how quickly he or she says "I Love You" or wants to marry or commit to you. Typically, in less than a few weeks of dating you'll hear that you're the love of their life, they want to be with you forever, and they want to marry you. You'll receive gifts, a variety of promises, and be showered with their attention and nice gestures. This is the "honeymoon phase" - where they catch you and convince you that they are the best thing that ever happened to you. Remember the business saying "If it's too good to be true it probably is (too good to be true)!" You may be so overwhelmed by this display of instant attraction, instant commitment, and instant planning for the future that you'll miss the major point - it doesn't make sense!! Normal, healthy individuals require a long process to develop a relationship because there is so much at stake. Healthy individuals will wait for a lot of information before offering a commitment - not three weeks. It's true that we can become infatuated with others quickly - but not make such unrealistic promises and have the future planned after three dates. The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later cause "The Loser" to detach from you as quickly as they committed. "The Loser" typically wants to move in with you or marry you in less than four weeks or very early in the relationship. - food for thought.... Link to comment
alcide Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 well it happens, i think you can love someone in short space not to the fullestttt but clost enough, i met this guy about one week and im madly inlove with him , i feel for him more and we have only spoken like four times but for hours. Link to comment
Portage Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 No. Not unless you have low expectations. Simply loving something or someone after 2 weeks means you dont really know that other person or thing. At 2 weeks you can hardly have developed a relationship of any depth. Mind you this all depends on what people define as love. Simply being attracted to someone whether physical or personality wise does not constitute love. For other it might. In my experience the ones who "fall in love" easily are also the ones who fall out of love easily and are the ones who have a difficult time keeping meaningful relationships. I agree with everything above. Well put. Infatuation and like, but never love that early in, unless you are starring in a Hollywood production. Link to comment
EQD Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 people with borderline personality disorder do this all the time. i dated one who did the exact same thing they either want to have sex with you or they have issues with being alone/single. Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Love someone as in care about them, perhaps. Be in love? No. Being in love with someone comes from creating a bond together that involves time, commitment, trust, communication, experiencing things together, going through ups and downs and growing together as a unit. Do you see that happening in two weeks? I don't think so. The overwhelming feelings at the beginning of dating are just infatuation. And many people confuse the two. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 He might actually believe himself, but I'm with you--I'd doubt the ability of someone so immediately intense to be at all enduring without also turning stalker. I think you're right to be concerned, and possibly a bit turned off by shallow waters. Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 Not really, maybe in like. Link to comment
sparkles4 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 I'd be concerned if someone was expressing their love to me after only two weeks. Not only does it indicate a sort of mental instability as explained in Carver's article, but if someone can fall in love that quickly, they can also fall out of love just as fast. Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 No. I think it could be a really bad sign or they could just be throwing the word around carelessly. Sometimes people who end up being controlling and abusive come on hard and fast and declare their love within the first few weeks of the relationship. Not saying that is necessarily what is going on, but I don't think this is a good sign--either he's really careless or something more serious is amiss. Link to comment
water_baby Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 i am actually going to sing a different tune than everybody else. i dont always think it is that dark when somebody thinks they love you after three weeks. my best friend says she fell in love with somebody almost within 24 hours...it was magical. they felt strongly very early on but was excited to build and grow together. they are now married with a little boy. i remember her calling me telling me it was like love at first site. they were besotted with eachother. i think those that say it could NEVER happen have never had it happen to them or have been burnt. i'd like to hear from people that have exprienced it and it has worked for them just like my friend. i believe it is rare but can happen. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 i am actually going to sing a different tune than everybody else. i dont always think it is that dark when somebody thinks they love you after three weeks. my best friend says she fell in love with somebody almost within 24 hours...it was magical. they felt strongly very early on but was excited to build and grow together. they are now married with a little boy. i remember her calling me telling me it was like love at first site. they were besotted with eachother. i think those that say it could NEVER happen have never had it happen to them or have been burnt. i'd like to hear from people that have exprienced it and it has worked for them just like my friend. i believe it is rare but can happen. You are mistaking lust for love. Lust is the hormonal attraction part. Love for most people is more. You friend may have been head over heels with her man and he may very well be a great guy in every sense. But it is impossible to know someone with 2 weeks much less 24 hours. I glad it worked out for them however for most being in "love" in a short time doesnt. It may very well be how people define the word love. Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 ... I don't know, I have seen these types of relationships become permanent. Just because you start off with huge fireworks and say I love you early on doesn't mean it won't last. In my case it never has, but I know couples for whom it has, couples who were inseparable from day 1. I wouldn't call that love. I think that's just being really really into someone. I think most people would run fast if their SO started dropping the L-bomb after only two weeks. Link to comment
forgingon Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 imo...not possible. To me real 'love' is when you know and see the flaws and the warts in another person and can simultaneously see their brilliance and uniqueness. That takes time. That takes: *being with them when they are sick or struggling with a major life issue... *going through your own highs and lows and knowing how they react to you... *watching them grow, on some level as a person, so you know how they change when life requires them to... *the 'they are perfect for me' wearing off...to a 'they are perfect as themself...and I'm good with that person.' That's real love to me. Link to comment
water_baby Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 You are mistaking lust for love. Lust is the hormonal attraction part. Love for most people is more. You friend may have been head over heels with her man and he may very well be a great guy in every sense. But it is impossible to know someone with 2 weeks much less 24 hours. I glad it worked out for them however for most being in "love" in a short time doesnt. It may very well be how people define the word love. hmmm, i know what you are saying but i have never been a fan of the science behind love. i guess i like the mysterious, unexplainable magic of love. why not get whisked away. yeah, she didnt know him fully but she said it felt like magic. she compared it to the love she had when she gave birth to her child. i want to believe Link to comment
rocio Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 When I think about the people I've been in love with over my lifetime, the feeling was absolutely there within the first 2 weeks. Sure, you're only in love with the part of them that you know - and that's not the whole, or anywhere close. You may later find out things about them that make you realise they are not a good force in your life, but those feelings will probably linger for some time. Link to comment
VioletFig Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Is it even possible? I went out with a guy who was confessing his love for me in under 2 weeks. Is this a red flag or can someone feel so strongly for someone in such a short amount of time of knowing them? A guy I dated was a super romantic type. He also adores his Mom. After we broke up he told me a month later he had fallen madly in love with someone and was getting married.... To a girl who is a young version of his Mother. LOL I thought that sounded wild, but waited to see how it all panned out. Nearly 2 years later they are still happy together. So it can happen. Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 A guy I dated was a super romantic type. He also adores his Mom. After we broke up he told me a month later he had fallen madly in love with someone and was getting married.... To a girl who is a young version of his Mother. LOL I thought that sounded wild, but waited to see how it all panned out. Nearly 2 years later they are still happy together. So it can happen. Assuming he was telling the truth about when they started dating... Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 hmmm, i know what you are saying but i have never been a fan of the science behind love. i guess i like the mysterious, unexplainable magic of love. why not get whisked away. yeah, she didnt know him fully but she said it felt like magic. she compared it to the love she had when she gave birth to her child. i want to believe I can appreciate not wanting to lose that lustre that "love" has but there is science behind love and its there for a reason. I think you need both sides the science and the art if you will. To ignore one or the other will get you into trouble. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 A guy I dated was a super romantic type. He also adores his Mom. After we broke up he told me a month later he had fallen madly in love with someone and was getting married.... To a girl who is a young version of his Mother. LOL I thought that sounded wild, but waited to see how it all panned out. Nearly 2 years later they are still happy together. So it can happen. Great. But has 2 years become the yardstick with longevity? Are you privy to their relationship dynamics? People have all sorts of different views when it comes to love. Although there is a general concensus or at least a leaning towards what it means. Link to comment
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