weird date experience

[LAYAAN]

okay... I'm really mad.

I met this guy on 1 of the Yahoo groups. We chatted online, on phone for almost a month. We saw each other before we met. He shared his pic. He saw me on a webcam. He seemed a nice, decent man. He asked if we could meet. I turned down x2 and finally met him. We met half way.

1) Google maps showed me that there was a starbucks at that place. When we went there, there was nothing there. He found another starbucks on his navigation, we drove there in my car, still nothing. We finally came back to where he was parked. We sat in my car. He was fine until that point.

2) I opened the door on my side b'coz I was uncomfortable sitting in dark with a man in my car. He said "oh, the lights are too bright for me." okay... I closed the door.

He kept touching my stuff. My food, coins, pens, everything. I didn't mind initially. Then he looked behind his seat. I had some glass cleaning supplies. He started to reach for those. God. I said "I'm sorry but I'm not comfortable. Can I request you not to touch my stuff?" He said "You are mean."

Then he said, "okay, show me your cell phone." "Show me your ID." He showed his ID.

He started looking for my purse. I hurriedly took it and put it behind my back. He said "why are you hiding it near your a$$?" My lipgloss stuck out of my purse so I took it out. He took it from my hand, opened it and said "I'm gonna draw a mustache on your face" and started to come close to me. I gave an angry look so he stopped.

He again started looking for my cell phone. "where is it, where is it, show me, show me." I really got annoyed and said "why do you care for such things. You are here to get to know me. Talk to me, look at me. If you don't have any interest in me, you are free to go." He started putting his hand near my thighs looking for my cell phone but he did not touch me. I got so mad. I held his hand and threw it at him and said "keep your hands with yourself. DO NOT touch my stuff or me." I don't really remember any conversation we had after that. It wasn't for long. He just abruptly decided to leave.

I'm really disturbed at this nonsense. Can anyone figure out what was he trying to do? Does it make me childish to get annoyed if a man starts to touch my stuff in my car? I let people use my stuff but this is a man that I don't know much about. Why would you touch somebody's stuff on a date?

[Ceslyn]

NO, you are not childish at all! This guy seems to be waaay beyond weird.

 

I really think if you meet up with people via internet, even if you've been talking on the phone for however long...don't get in a car alone with them on your first date. Seriously. I think this could've turned out way worse than it did. I would've been scared.

 

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with meeting people on the internet; my mother met her fiance on eHarmony. But there are a lot of crazy people out there, so...I'd say public place for the first date. Period.

[lila...]

What??! That is very weird behaviour! I don't even want to mention it but I'm surprised it didn't get to worse, I mean everything you described- from "coincidentally" not finding the Starbucks to him asking for your cellphone- all look like ingredients leading to a very dangerous situation.

[LAYAAN]

Thank you guys. The whole experience was just so tormenting. I didn't want to leave as it was my car. How would I go home otherwise? Really seriously no meeting after sunset for me this point on. I sat in my car after he left and just cried. I was so afraid.

[LAYAAN]

No, I chose that starbucks. Next time onwards I'll call and make sure that they are actually there.

[lila...]

No, I chose that starbucks. Next time onwards I'll call and make sure that they are actually there.

 

Oh ok, I thought he was the one who chose the Starbucks and lead the way there. Still very odd situation.

[LAYAAN]

Yes and fine I went wrong choosing one starbucks. But the other one his navigation showed on 1 mile distance also wasn't there. How odd is that!

[sparkles4]

Wow, what a creeper!!

[lady00]

This guy sounds like a two year old. Only creepy. Next time you go on a date, can you both drive there separately? I don't think it's wise to have a stranger in your car.

[chigal28]

I agree with Lady00. I think it's always best to meet in a public place, just in case. This guy sounds like he was just extremely childish and weird (it gave me the skeeves to picture him grabbing your lip gloss and telling you he was going to give you a mustache), but you never know. Others aren't as harmless.

[LAYAAN]

No, we arrived at the location in separate cars. He was driving his. I was driving mine. But we couldnt' see a starbucks there so he said "if you want you can go with me in my car, or if you are okay, I can go with you in your car to the other starbucks" So, I said "okay, you can get into my car."

[lady00]

No, we arrived at the location in separate cars. He was driving his. I was driving mine. But we couldnt' see a starbucks there so he said "if you want you can go with me in my car, or if you are okay, I can go with you in your car to the other starbucks" So, I said "okay, you can get into my car."

 

In a situation like this, I'd just say politely that you'd prefer to both driver there separately. I think any reasonable guy will understand that you have to take precautions with someone who is essentially a stranger.

[LAYAAN]

In a situation like this, I'd just say politely that you'd prefer to both driver there separately. I think any reasonable guy will understand that you have to take precautions with someone who is essentially a stranger.

He did ask if you want to drive separately there. I said "no, its okay you can get into my car." So, I'm to blame here. He really did seem decent to me. In fact, I liked him and even while I was driving he was decent. But yes, lesson learned.

[ghost69]

first of all you shouldn't wait so long to meet someone in person. you spent too long on the phone to only be let down. second, you should have just followed each other, cause then you got stuck with this creep in your car.

[grymoire]

Hi Tinu,

 

It is certainly weird behavior.

 

But you know what worries me more? The fact that you are consistently coming accross such weird men. Many people have advised you to not spend too much time chatting and on the phone but yet you seem to be doing the same thing. Why do you want to spend so much time on chats and phone before meeting in person? Even though it was your first meeting in person this man clearly assumed that you guys were already close based on the fact you spent so much time with him on phone and internet. I really cannot imagine a guy wanting to draw a mustache on a girl that he met for the first time.

 

~G

[grymoire]

He did ask if you want to drive separately there. I said "no, its okay you can get into my car." So, I'm to blame here. He really did seem decent to me. In fact, I liked him and even while I was driving he was decent. But yes, lesson learned.

 

Sorry but is there something you are not telling here??? I always get a feeling that you are leaving out something. Your stories have a pattern - everything goes fine and out of the blue the guy is suddenly a creep

[Ac143]

I can believe that "out of the blue" he is suddenly creepy - sure. that's how most creeps out there are - NICE guy and then turn into a pyscho....sorta like Ted Bundy, every woman he came accross said he was a nice, decent person but was serial killer!

 

But yes lesson learned - dont ever let a stranger in your car! Way too many dangerous people out in this world.

[grymoire]

I can believe that "out of the blue" he is suddenly creepy - sure. that's how most creeps out there are - NICE guy and then turn into a pyscho....sorta like Ted Bundy, every woman he came accross said he was a nice, decent person but was serial killer!

 

But yes lesson learned - dont ever let a stranger in your car! Way too many dangerous people out in this world.

 

Ted Bundy had an agenda and a MO. This guy doesn't seem to. He is someone that the OP was in touch with for quite some time through chats and phone calls.

 

I agree that "out of the blue" he turns creepy is believable. But when it routinely happens almost all the time I tend to get the feeling that some information is not getting disclosed here.

 

In any case it is not in the best interest of Tinu to spend so much time on phone before meeting in person.

[Ac143]

LOL how do you know this guy didn't have an MO or agenda?? So what he talked to her on the phone or via email? He just sounds creepy to do what he was doing, reaching for everything in the car and getting mad she wouldnt give him her cell phone. who acts that way??? Only a WEIRDO

[grymoire]

LOL how do you know this guy didn't have an MO or agenda?? So what he talked to her on the phone or via email? He just sounds creepy to do what he was doing, reaching for everything in the car and getting mad she wouldnt give him her cell phone. who acts that way??? Only a WEIRDO

 

yup i totally agree that he IS a weirdo... but of course i would not compare him with a famed serial killer.

 

more than the mustache thing what surprises me the most is that guy saying "show me your cell phone.. show me your id" how does something like that come up all of a sudden?? this totally beats me.

[LAYAAN]

No, gry, I have put all the details here. I actually didn't want to mention all the details but I did so that I could provide a complete picture. This is all I had to say. No details kept hidden.

Well, I dont know what to do about weird experiences though. I can't find out until I go out with him first, right?

[LAYAAN]

alright, so yes, I get it. 2-3 emails, 2-3 phone calls, and hopefully the guy asks you to meet. If not, I shoudl take the initiative and ask and if he declines I let him go. I really hope that I'll follow this as a rule now onwards. Seriously, I've realized one thing that men like my photos but in person they don't find me that attractive. I dont' knwo why. So, its better to end all this sooner than later.

[grymoire]

if a man is interested in you he'll most certainly will want to meet you in person... unless of course he is living far away from you...

 

you also got to realize what you are doing Tinu:

 

We chatted online, on phone for almost a month. We saw each other. He shared his pic. He saw me on a webcam. He seemed a nice, decent man. He asked if we could meet. I turned down x2 and finally met him.

 

why do you have to turn him down 2 times?

[lady00]

of course nothng says he is dangerous per se. But he was strange to say the least.

[LAYAAN]

"why do you have to turn him down 2 times?"

 

I don't have a straight answer to your Q. I do have an honest answer though.

Remember what I said before? Every failed date has left me with some Qs and I want this to stop. I struggle with myself to go on dates and get turned down. So, I said no, b'coz I meant no. But I finally decided to go b'coz I realized that the only way I could stop with the online thing is if I met him in person.

But I agree with what you said. I should meet sooner than later.