email from my ex

[nada_es_fake]

I got this email from my ex right now..I don't know whether I should respond or not.I'm confused..she says she doesn't want to lead me on, but will still text me saying she misses me and loves me. earlier today she said she felt like she could be happier with someone else.

 

I know that you would have loved me forever and that it probably would have been an amazing, life-altering love. At one point I did think you were my soulmate. I just don't feel ready for all of that yet. I'm not done being selfish and having fun. I wouldn't mind meeting you in San Antonio, I'm not a coward and I don't need to run away from my feelings.

 

We were compatible when things were new and before our true selves came out. You said that you weren't really jealous early on in our relationship and that sure changed. I used to call a lot more and was probably much sweeter at the beginning. I want you to do what is best for you, if that means not having anything to do with me then I understand. Yes, it was me who initiated everything in our relationship and it was me who ended it.

 

I do have plenty of friends and I wouldn't want you as a pity friend. I understand that you can't be my friend right now. I completely agree that we can't be friends right now anyway. I don't want to pretend like what we had wasn't special, because it was. It was amazing and when I miss you it is because I start thinking back to those times. Those time when it was just you and me and your little apartment, the way your bed smells, looking at you after we make love and feeling perfectly at peace and happy with the world. I guess all we have in common is the past and lemon bars.

 

I hope too that you are able to move on and be happy with someone else. I'm sure you will find someone who will love you with all their heart and soul. I saw our future once too and it was beautiful.

 

*She wants to meet up one last time, were in a LDR, but i don't know.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

What is the point of meeting up after that ridiculous email that basically tells you to have a nice life while at the same time getting all mushy about the wonderful times and how the bed smells blah blah. I think she ate too many lemon bars and became a fruit loop! There is nothing more to say so I would suggest not meeting up with her. Your message back to her should be something like "thank you for the email, I think it is not necessary to meet up. I wish you all the best." In other words, don't give her a reaction...she wants out then tell her great, have a nice life.

[chopperboy]

From the sound of it, the two of you are done in her mind. She values you as a friend, but that's it. Given that, where are you now with respect to her? Would seeing her help you, or rip your heart out? I can see it both ways: some people meet for the last time to get closure, and some avoid that in order to never reopen old wounds. Where do you fall? Remember, it's about YOU now, and not about her or the two of you as a couple.

[orangesoda]

She comes off as a pretty selfish. She wanted the relationship, then she didn't want it, now she wants to meet up one last time...

 

All I pretty much read is what *she* wants.

 

I think you're better off blocking all forms of contact with her. If you have to, change your number.

 

Oh, and don't give in. Don't go see her. Stop letting her have her way all the time.

[jettison]

She's doing just enough, in her estimation, to keep you tied and pining for her, but she's not doing near enough to respect you as a mate. Basically, she wrote this for herself, to keep you attached, and she did not write this for you, to make you feel any better about anything.

 

She's not in love with you, and she's selfish. That's the takeaway.

[HeartGoesOn]

What a pathetic letter!

 

She wants to keep you at arms length for her own selfish reasons, and has no regard for your feelings.

 

Be the bigger person, and tell her, "Thanks, but no thanks."

[PrincessBOT]

*She wants to meet up one last time, were in a LDR, but i don't know.

 

What a pathetic letter!

 

She wants to keep you at arms length for her own selfish reasons, and has no regard for your feelings.

 

Be the bigger person, and tell her, "Thanks, but no thanks."

 

 

I don't know about the pathetic part because it shows that she has feelings and not is not a cold hearted b###$d, like my ex.

 

However, she is definitely not taking your feelings in consideration. So you have to put yourself first as this will have a negative affect, at least right now.

 

I recently had to stop dating someone because he had 2 kids and wanted no more and I have none, but I don't want say that I never want any. Anyway, I really liked this person and could see it being long-term,but I had to end it. It hurt like heck and I want to call and talk to him all the time. But I think about how that will make him feel, give him hope, confuse him and prolong his healing. So I don't contact him although I know he would welcome it.

 

If your ex was taking your feelings in consideration she would not contact you for these reason right now.

[MinziGirl]

It is amazing how they still want to be your friend after ripping your guts out.

[itsallgrand]

If you don't know, don't do it.

 

Something like this - if you have any feelings left for her at all, and you probably do (dare I say it is obvious you do, probably posting to help process all this information and email while struggling to decide what to do).....

 

can easily confuse a person.

 

Then even a day after responding or meeting with her, the emotions will change...you'll read the email and think "how the heck did I read what I did a week ago in THIS?!"...

 

So if you aren't sure and this sent your emotions all aflutter...just wait it out.

 

That's my little tidbit of hardearned advice Never, ever, ever,....let someone else's urgent sense of emotional confusion put a false sense of pressure into your decision making....

 

just take your time....

[PrincessBOT]

It is amazing how they still want to be your friend after ripping your guts out.

 

LOL..sorry, but this is to true.

[greywolf]

Translation in bold:

 

I know that you would have loved me forever and that it probably would have been an amazing, life-altering love. At one point I did think you were my soulmate. I just don't feel ready for all of that yet. I'm not done being selfish and having fun. I wouldn't mind meeting you in San Antonio, I'm not a coward and I don't need to run away from my feelings.

 

I know you're a great guy, but I take you for granted. I want to go out and have fun, but you need to be waiting for me when I realize I'm old and alone.

 

 

We were compatible when things were new and before our true selves came out. You said that you weren't really jealous early on in our relationship and that sure changed. I used to call a lot more and was probably much sweeter at the beginning. I want you to do what is best for you, if that means not having anything to do with me then I understand. Yes, it was me who initiated everything in our relationship and it was me who ended it.

 

I was on my best behavior in the beginning of our relationship, but now I am lazy.

 

I do have plenty of friends and I wouldn't want you as a pity friend. I understand that you can't be my friend right now. I completely agree that we can't be friends right now anyway. I don't want to pretend like what we had wasn't special, because it was. It was amazing and when I miss you it is because I start thinking back to those times. Those time when it was just you and me and your little apartment, the way your bed smells, looking at you after we make love and feeling perfectly at peace and happy with the world. I guess all we have in common is the past and lemon bars.

 

so many great memories of you, but it's not enough to keep me from being selfish. But it's ok missing those things because I know you'll be waiting for me when I decide to come back or find something I think is better

 

I hope too that you are able to move on and be happy with someone else. I'm sure you will find someone who will love you with all their heart and soul. I saw our future once too and it was beautiful.

 

A future with me is going to be more beautiful than with someone else. I need you to remember that when I want to come back.

[chopperboy]

Graywolf, your translation is awesome! Harsh, but oh so true.

[nada_es_fake]

So, she just called me right now asking about meeting up in November. I told her that I couldn't and that I didn't think I could really ever see her as a friend. She started crying and said, "But, I love you" and couldn't believe it. I told her my mind was made up that I needed to stay away from her because it was too painful. She said that she wanted to see me and discover what she felt for me and then hopefully work on being together after I moved back. That she would be ready to settle down.

 

I told her that I was sorry, but that I couldn't talk to her anymore. She said she knew that I was going to call her tomorrow and change my mind and that she was always going to be there for me.

 

The most time I've gone by without talking to her is 3 days, and I feel like this is really going to be permanent. I'm scared of having a relapse.

[greywolf]

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

She is being absolutely selfish. She thought you'd be around just waiting for her and now that she realizes you're not she all of a sudden wants to work things out. She just wants to keep you on hold.

[MinziGirl]

@greywolf.

 

Wow... you wrote everything right to the dot.... then again, is it possible that she herself doesn't know what she wants? Are you so sure she is stringing him?

[greywolf]

@greywolf.

 

Wow... you wrote everything right to the dot.... then again, is it possible that she herself doesn't know what she wants? Are you so sure she is stringing him?

 

I think they don't really realize what they are doing. I don't think anyone tries to be intentionally selfish and hurtful. Like you said, they are confused and probably don't know what they want, but I still think it is selfish.

[MinziGirl]

I think they don't really realize what they are doing. I don't think anyone tries to be intentionally selfish and hurtful.

 

More like i think she doesn't know what she wants & he is completely in love with her.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

She is definitely being selfish...she wanted you eating out of her hand and when you showed her that you are not, she starts with the waterworks and the fluff words...dangling those carrots. I am glad you didn't bite. It is also very arrogant of her to say that she knows you will call with a change of heart tomorrow. She is very presumptuous and very disrespecting of you. Please stay strong and not contact her...she really needs to be put in her place and shown that there are consequences to her actions. If you keep running back to her she will treat you more and more disrespectfully because she can get away with it. It is very sad that some people abuse the feelings of others the more crap they can get away with the more they push the envelope. You set your boundaries...now it is crucial that you stick to them. Telling you she loves you is irrelevant if she has no interest in getting back together with you...her words mean nothing...her actions (or inactions) speak volumes. Don't fall for her empty words.