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PrincessBOT

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About PrincessBOT

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  1. UPDATE Hi all, My fiance called after almost 2 months I believe it was. It took me some time to decide what I wanted to do. It involved him speaking with me, my family, my family speaking to me and then us speaking. He wanted to be together and get married. After talking and prayer we set a date at the end of 2017 for April 29, 2018. We are coming up on our 3 year anniversary, have a 27 month old little girl and trying for one more baby. We are in the pandemic, still in love and doing great. He is an excellent father and husband.
  2. Thanks! The way we are functioning has changed everything, it is no longer a feeling of walking on eggshells, Thank God. It has constantly been a committed feel and functioning as a committed couple, what it would have been before if he were not facing serious fears. If I could describe it I 'd say we got emotionally married already and are functioning as such. I always knew what he was like when he really wants to do something and there is not hesitation for whatever reason by how he handles everything else. Our relationship has changed in such a manner, I feel like I can say whatever and it
  3. I have been dating since I was 15. I've had boyfriends who: were in possession of illegal drugs while taking me out, I found out after we already left. I had others lie, cheat, steal, commit emotional abuse by cowardly distancing instead of leaving. I learned there will always be something about someone that is a reason I would not want to marry them. I intentionally did not marry, get pregnant by or have a baby with any of them because in my opinion their misdeeds were far too egregious. The same would have been applied to my fiance if I felt that way, but I do not feel that is because I
  4. This was going to be my comment. It could possibly be a medical condition. The marriage, until I got to the part about all the good things in your marriage and your compatibility I was concerned. However, after reading it seems you two are a good couple. Sex is a big factor, but it can be worked on if the foundation is steady and it seems that it is.
  5. UPDATE: We're getting married, the date and venue are booked. It is true some men need the gift of space to relieve the pressure so that they can feel and know that it's truly their decision. If they get to that point it is like night and day and that was the case with us. He has always said he wanted to marry me. However, he let his fear of divorce hold him back and create barrier after barrier that he raised higher and higher to try and stay in what he apparently felt was a safe zone of perpetual engagement to be married. However, the reality of my permanent absence and really losing
  6. I have really honed in on that with him. He says he was angry for a week and miserable the rest of the time. While he was miserable he used the time to pray about it as all thought about me and put himself in my shoes. My reaponse was so you were angry for week and praying for 7 weeks without thinking about the emational stages I would have to go through to gwt over that knowing based on your actions after 5 years you did not want to get married. Not that you told me you were praying or thinking and not only that your actions by staying away matched your actions of not setting a day, finally
  7. + He has always said he wanted to marry and he did propose so it was not a sudden change of heart. More like a sudden wake up call that I was really going to stay gone and life about me was going to be for real. He would not have the luxury of me being around for him to flip flop and procrastinate. At least that is what I'd like to think is the case and not that he will flip flp again. So he is now ready to set a date that has been my goal from outset, thought I gave up on it weeks ago. He wanted to come and set a date that night. Granted if it were many weeks before I would have b
  8. I understand, but that has not been our day to day relationship. To that extent at one time he would stonewall, shutdown when we got in disagreements, but he worked on that and got better. The book gave the married commitmentphone scenarios, but he did not fall into or do the things mentioned for worse case scenario commitmentphobe or the married commitment phobe who does not want to be settled. In our day to day relationship he acted as if we were already settled down and married and the was the issue for me because we were not. The book mentioned ways to minimize commitmentphobe tendenc
  9. He thought I was going to reach out to him and then he would express his anger at me making him leave when he would not set the wedding date. Without me saying another word in 2 months he told me how, he got over his anger, he figured it out, saw his part and as he told me put hisself in my shoes and he understands. I have read that is what some guys need, the woman to walk away so they are forced to deal with having to make a definite decision without the comfort of knowing the women will be around and really face what it means to lose her and not have her in his life. I read where it has
  10. I just went through/am going through a similar situation. I was confused and in limbo and decided I had get a definitive answer by actions. My action of being at my end even though I still wanted to be with him but being ready to walk away forever if he could not take action to make up his mind about moving forward. His actions of either staying away or making a decison to mobe forward. I let him go and he stayed away for 2 whole months. I was hurt and spent days in bed around the 3rd week and again around the 5th week. By the 6th week I decided to be happy I was not in limbo anymore, had m
  11. Thanks, I am thinking these things through as I have the same reservation and said it to him in the past. If we have kids you will not have the luxury of time to make decisions the way you have accustomed yourself and that will be an issue because I will have to make moves without you. So I agree it is a very big consideration in that sense.
  12. We have been together 5 years. He has staying power, that was the issue so much staying power without setting a wedding date. His MO was to stay, stay, but throw up barriers when it came to actually getting married, because of his fear of divorce. From the start of my post reaching out for help it has been about 1.5 years engaged and not getting married, not that we had a horrible relationship for 5 years. I posted here once about him not proposing again about moving forward not having a bad relationship. If our marriage is like our relationship minus the pressure of when are we getting
  13. Regarding not having committment to the priesthood. I can't say much but I will give an example. Let's say that after many years of studying and training you have dedicated your life to an organization and fully plan to be there for life. It is a place where children are involved and you see those children being hurt by the very people that are to protect them. The organization instead of protecting the children protects the organization's image so by default the individuals doing the harm are protected. Then you begin to see that the organization is plagued with many such discrepancies and it
  14. I agree and that is a big part of what I am taking I consideration. He said it anger at first then he took time to reflect why I did it. He was angry I did not accept him not setting a date and walked him out the door. I surmise after a while it became pride until he saw I was not contacting him and not sending even smoke signals so to speak.
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