PrettyTallGirl Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Hi Everyone, My boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) cheated on me with a girl early into our relationship. He says he cheated because I said some mean things to him but I think that's just a cop out to place the blame on anyone but his self. He even told me that he actually feel in love with the girl. She ended up finding about me because I caught her at his house one night. He had told her that I was his crazy ex-girlfriend that couldn't move on and that we weren't ever that serious. I had a chance to speak with her over the phone because he gave her my number. He even had the audacity to ask me to lie to her and tell her that we were in fact NOT together and that I just couldn't move on. You could imagine how hurtful that was. He even tried to cut his wrists once to get my attention and told her that I had someone beat him up and I stole his phone. He also wanted me too lie to her about that to. Has anyone here had this problem before? How did you feel about it? I broke it off with him and he sent me a text message saying "call me in 10" then when I called he had changed his number. The girl he cheated with told me that he changed it. If you only knew the devastation I felt to have him leave me for the girl he cheated on me with. I know its probably for the best but it really hurts because not only was the relationship really serious, I was pregnant and we were engaged and going to get our names tattooed on each other. Why do men do these idiotic things. Its such a selfish thing to do and they seem not too care about the people they hurt and this was the same man who claimed he loved me. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I'm sorry that you had to go through that with him? Were you pregnant with his baby? What happened with that? Link to comment
PrettyTallGirl Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 I was pregnant but decided not too keep it. It may not have been the best thing to do but thank God I won't have to deal with this guy anymore. I really feel sorry for women are are victims in situations like this. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Im sorry, it was the right thing to do for you and in your situation im sure. You will be much better off without a man like this in your life. Now you can find someone who loves you Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Pretty Read my first post ever on here. Men aren't the only ones to pull this selfish crap on the ones they love (supposedly) I am sorry you have been hurt so badly. This guy does have some nerve. Consider yourself lucky. It is kind of long but it really happened that way. You are better off believe me as I am. lost Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 People who cheat become amazing liars and manipulators. This 'my ex girlfriend is crazy' is a VERY common excuse among men who cheat. They tell their new lover this in case the new lover ever discovers the girlfriend. They explain away the girlfriends behavior at being outraged, upset, or still in a relationship as 'crazy.' They want to impress the new person as a clean slate with no flaws, not as what they really are, a lying cheater. So they make up all kinds of stories, telling elaborate lies to both the steady girlfriend and the other woman. Once you caught him, he knew he was busted so threw his chips in with the new woman. Also not surprising. You should pity her though because look at what a loser and liar she gets! Lots of women on this board are furious and blame the 'other woman' when they discover their man cheating. But more often than not, the other woman is also a victim, as he's misrepresented his availability to the new woman, or lied about his wife/girlfriend to the other woman claiming the wife is 'crazy' or the relationship is basically over when it really isn't. so is lying to both women. Such a person will never be a good partner, so consider yourself lucky he's gone. Link to comment
koreangelxp Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 wow... i am so sorry you are going thru this... but honestly why would you lie for him? so he can be happy with someone else that he cheated with on you??? if i was in your situation i wouldnt do anything for him so he can be better off... and im just left with a broken heart... i would get even... i would tell this girl the truth and leave it at that... and whatever the other girl believes to be true is on her. cuz in the end everyone will get what they deserve.. honestly i dont know why men do stupid things... women do stupid things too... sometimes i think people just dont about anyone but themselves... and theres not a lot of good people left in this world. just my opinion. Link to comment
PrettyTallGirl Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 After speaking with her, I don't think she wants him either. And he actually thinks he is a good man. I told him that most of his relationships will end like this because he is a lying, manipulative cheater. I also told him he was NOT a good man and he had the nerve to tell me I wasn't a good woman and I would never find a good man. This really disturbed me because not only was I faithful and honest with him, I did everything in my power to please him. Yes I admit that I made mistakes, but its humanly impossible for anyone to be perfect. I will admit that I wanted our relationship to work so badly that I was seeking to be the closest thing to perfection for him. And the whole time I was doing this he was in love with woman he cheated on me with. I actually think the only reason we stayed together is because once she found out about me, she didn't want to talk to him anymore so he just settled for since he couldn't have her. But what I don't understand is why didn't he just tell me he was unhappy with me in the first place? Its also pretty weird because he started cheating during the honeymoon phase and at that time we were planning our life together. I just don't understand why its so hard to keep a man's attention, especially when you are doing everything in your power to make him happy. I almost forgot to focus on my own happiness because I was trying to please him so much. Link to comment
PrettyTallGirl Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 Pretty Read my first post ever on here. Men aren't the only ones to pull this selfish crap on the ones they love (supposedly) I am sorry you have been hurt so badly. This guy does have some nerve. Consider yourself lucky. It is kind of long but it really happened that way. You are better off believe me as I am. lost I read your story and I immediately began to cry. I cannot understand for the life of me why people do things like this. It almost makes me wonder can people really get married and stay together forever? Or can one of the individuals eventually fall out of love and move on to someone else, even after years of marriage. I am only 22, and I have a long way too go. I may even get my heart broken again, but it makes me feel like there is absolutely no such thing as everlasting love and I will continue to find myself alone trying to move on from the person who hurt me. Link to comment
koreangelxp Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I read your story and I immediately began to cry. I cannot understand for the life of me why people do things like this. It almost makes me wonder can people really get married and stay together forever? Or can one of the individuals eventually fall out of love and move on to someone else, even after years of marriage. I am only 22, and I have a long way too go. I may even get my heart broken again, but it makes me feel like there is absolutely no such thing as everlasting love and I will continue to find myself alone trying to move on from the person who hurt me. i understand how you feel about people falling out of love and instead of telling you its over and i want to move on.... they go and cheat on you...and make you feel that you were totally worth nothing and you werent even good enough to speak the truth on how he was feeling. its like you can read their minds... so annoying... Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 >> I just don't understand why its so hard to keep a man's attention, especially when you are doing everything in your power to make him happy. This isn't the case with all men at all, or even most men. There are some men who are just brutally selfish who enjoy sleeping with multiple women at once. They like the variety, or maybe even enjoy the game of putting one over on their girlfriend, the excitement of sneaking around. So it has everything to do with HIM and nothing to do with you. The point is that what makes him happy is cheating or seeing multiple women at once, which is nothing you can do anythng about at all, so don't bother. All you can do when you discover someone is a rampant cheater is walk away and never look back... they're the bad apples in the men bin, so throw them out and keep looking for a good one. Link to comment
desi1987 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Assholes like him really exist. Instead of having a "pair" he treats you like dirt and lies to the "other girl"..then has the AUDACITY to ask you to lie..i would have smacked his face right there... Sigh..i cant even imagine how you feel..just know that you are deserve MUCH better than him and someday soon he will get whats coming to him..KARMA is a *** trust me. Link to comment
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