My house, she should pay rent?

[smiles21]

So I just bought a house two months ago and me and my GF moved in. House is totally in my name and I pay the mortgage etc.. I spoke with her before she moved in and asked if she could help out with money.. etc. She seemed fine with it at the time.

 

I thought $100 a week from her would be fair, and I mentioned it to her and she hasn't produced any money as of yet.. I make barely enough to afford the house and all the utility bills, etc.

 

She works and goes to school and her own bills etc.. She doesn't make a lot of money either.

 

I feel that she should help out, but I'm uncertain how to approach this. She bought half the groceries and bought a few SMALL things for the house, I furnished everything pretty much.. so everything inside was bought by me or my parents.

 

How should I approach this? Should she have to pay? She's 20, I'm 24. She doesn't spend frivalously or anything.. but I dont want to nag her about the money. She is also not a selfish person...

[Taking The Lead]

Post a little thingy on the fridge. Sorta like a spread-sheet, with all expenses and the net loss and gain of the whole house. She's bound to stumble upon it, and maybe she'll feel a little sympathy, say you needed it to remind you about the bills... kinda mope and say "it's so very expensive..." little hints... you know.. be creative.

[george237]

Ask her if she could set up an automatic monthly transfer to a joint checking. This way you don't feel like her landlord.

[ImThatGirl]

She may think she "is" helping out with money by buying the grocery's...

[bmwm3]

I think its fair that she pays rent.. she does live there full time... asking her to pay half to mortgage is prob a no.. because she might wanna claim half the house in the end...

 

maybe instead of having her pay rent... have her pay the utilities and buy grocies.. just something she can help out with...

[McLovin oo7]

If $ 400.00 a month is not big deal for you and you are happy with your relationship, i would say dont bother asking about it.

 

If you are going to ask her for the rent, make sure you communicate directly to her and make her understand the situation since money is the first factor to spoil relationships.

 

If she agrees to pay, make sure it is clear that it is rent, not partnership in house.

[capbit]

How much money does she have left over after paying for school and her personal bills? A lot of people work while in school and still have hardly anything left by the end of the month, but I agree, if she's living there she should be responsible for the housing costs.

Was there a agreement on a set amount when she moved in or just something that was brought up? I would just ask her nicely if she could help out in consideration to how much she's actually making.

[sun]

Post a little thingy on the fridge. Sorta like a spread-sheet, with all expenses and the net loss and gain of the whole house. She's bound to stumble upon it, and maybe she'll feel a little sympathy, say you needed it to remind you about the bills... kinda mope and say "it's so very expensive..." little hints... you know.. be creative.

 

I personally don't like little hints or things around the bush.

I would prefer a strait conversation to see what do you agree with that, but it should have been before she moved in...

That's my opinion....

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Ummm.... no. If she were living anywhere else she'd have to pay some kind of rent, so she should contribute at your place too.

 

But she's telling you LOUD AND CLEAR that she is going to expect you to support her, now and in the future. She's perfectly content to let you shoulder the financial responsibility. You're not even married to her, and she expects this. Most likely she will expect you to shoulder ALL the responsibility if you married.

 

So work up a budget, and show her what you spend for everything. Then sit down with her and tell her it's time to work up a joint budget. Add in everything you share, food, utilities, cable, rent etc. Then talk to her about what percentage you each think is fair for her to pay vs. you to pay. She doesn't need to cover half your mortgage, but she does need to cover a fair share of rent based on what she can afford to pay vs. what you can afford to pay.

 

If she pitches a fit over this, i'd think twice about a relationship with her, because she is expecting you to be her meal ticket.

[southerngirl]

You two need to sit down and discuss your goals and how you can achieve them together. Do you plan to spend your lifetime with this girl? Would you prefer her to just be a roommate with benefits?

 

You need to discuss and come to a mutual agreement.

 

I do not think that i would like it if my husband/boyfriend whatever were to start charging me 'rent'

 

I think that you need to approach this a different way. Sit down and go over the expenses TOGETHER as a TEAM and come up to an agreement of how she can help to pay for it. Stress that you do need the help.

[george237]

on another note, why did you buy a house if you can barely afford it? what if something happens like you lose your job, or the house needs to be fixed? then what? i think it's absolutely critical that you find a paying roommate, in one form or another.

 

I bought a house I could barely afford for 2 reasons.

 

1. In my profession if I lost my job I would get picked up immediately by somebody else

 

2. I know that when I bought it I was making the least amount of money that I will ever make.

 

thereforeee I knew that in a year or two I would be comfortable.

[Excalibur]

Simple.....you go get a roommate. You've gotten into a financial obligation you clearly cannot meet reasonably and handle the unexpected life emergencies.

 

She can live with you - in you room, not as a full-fledged roomie with rights as a result of no equal financial contribution.

 

But you go get yourself a financially responsible, socially integrated roommate - male or female - and share the house/bills with them so that you don't end up in foreclosure.

[Ellie2006]

If she hasn't paid the 800$ she owes you for the past two months, I think you need to sit down with her and go over this again. Like others have said, she would have had to pay rent anyways and honestly 100$/wk for rent is really really really in her favor.

 

Paying half for grocery is a given, I think, as well as paying half for utilities.

 

I think it's more strange that she hasn't said a word, not even to give you a reason as to why she hasn't kept her promise of paying you.

[smiles21]

 

how much can she afford? is she a student or does she have a real job? i think she should be contributing something, $400 a month sounds fair. on the other hand, since the mortgage is only in your name, maybe it's best for you to cover the mortgage and she covers the utilities. that is a fair compromise too.

 

tell her that you might need to go on craigslist to find a new roommate because you can't make ends meet. i wonder if that might make her pony up some money.

 

I'm not sure Annie how much she can afford. She doesn't have a lot left for herself after everything. She could esentially move back with her parents and live scott free if she wanted. She goes to school full time, works part time as a server. Makes maybe $250 a week.

 

Btw, my mortgage is $1200 a month, with no utilities or TV or anything.

[smiles21]

You two need to sit down and discuss your goals and how you can achieve them together. Do you plan to spend your lifetime with this girl? Would you prefer her to just be a roommate with benefits?

 

You need to discuss and come to a mutual agreement.

 

I do not think that i would like it if my husband/boyfriend whatever were to start charging me 'rent'

 

I think that you need to approach this a different way. Sit down and go over the expenses TOGETHER as a TEAM and come up to an agreement of how she can help to pay for it. Stress that you do need the help.

 

We have been together for 1.5 years and get along wonderfully. She is very caring. I would think about Marriage sometime down the road once she graduates.

[smiles21]

I bought a house I could barely afford for 2 reasons.

 

1. In my profession if I lost my job I would get picked up immediately by somebody else

 

2. I know that when I bought it I was making the least amount of money that I will ever make.

 

thereforeee I knew that in a year or two I would be comfortable.

 

Exactly my situation.

[Excalibur]

Again - don't get intertwined elements in these various situations.

 

You've got a mortgage and utilities to ay that you need additional income to meet. She's not proving a source of income. She's proving a source of enjoyment.

 

Find a roommate that is a source of income, so that you can continue to enjoy her as she has the privilege of your room and bed, but no rights to the entire house as she's not financially contributing 1/3 of the bills in full.

 

She'd likely prefer you have a male roommate, however you might find that a female roommate is easier to work with in terms of equal distribution of chores and more courteous about overnight guests, provided she's a reliable source of rent.

[smiles21]

If she hasn't paid the 800$ she owes you for the past two months, I think you need to sit down with her and go over this again. Like others have said, she would have had to pay rent anyways and honestly 100$/wk for rent is really really really in her favor.

 

Paying half for grocery is a given, I think, as well as paying half for utilities.

 

I think it's more strange that she hasn't said a word, not even to give you a reason as to why she hasn't kept her promise of paying you.

 

She doesn't have a lot of money at the end of the month either after her car/insurance/phone/school bills either. We have discussed it, and I mentioned that I needed help.

[Ellie2006]

I can see why you may want to cut her some slack bc you dont think she is selfish or spends her money recklessly. BUT what she IS doing is going back on her word: she knows her budget, even if you dont, and she should have known if she could swing 100$ a week for rent, EXCLUDING groceries.

 

Honestly, to me, the bigger issue is, that she is not saying a word about this, perhaps hoping that the issue will be swept under the rug, if she doesnt mention it.

 

I dont know how big of a deal this is to you BUT I can tell you that this kind of one-sided deal always breeds resentment and ultimately, you may find it better for your relationship to take care of this before it becomes even a bigger issue (as uncomfortable as it may be ...): you may feel taken advantage of later on, when, in fact, you kind of allowed it to happen by not saying anything about how it's kind of bugging you now.

[Excalibur]

Again...this is ridiculous from a rationla standpoint.

 

This girl makes $1k a month ($250 x 4) on average. She has car insurance, fuel, cell bills, adn school expenses...she is not making ends meet. That is why living at home is ideal - she has no utilities, no rent, she has free use without restriction on the washer/dryer/frig/food.

 

You say you're not in a position to take her on as a "child", nor are you willing to take her on as a companion while you pay her portion of bills, while she provides you with companionship.

 

thereforeee, if youo need additional income, find a roommate that is a source of addditional reliable income that you can work with regarding social and practical issues of roommate-ness. And talk to that person about how they're ging to feel/think about her being around pretty much 24/7, while contributing nothing except her bright smile and the occasional jello cup to the lifestyle.

[Aschleigh]

Getting these things agreed upon before living together seems like the best idea.

If the mortage is in your name then it is your responsibility. A tenent would have an actual monetary agreement , a contract.

What is the nature of your arriangment? Is she living with you temorarily or is she now your partner ( soon to be wife) with eqaul privleges and equal responsibility. Is it her house too? Do you want her as a housemate ( temp) or a homeowner? Or somewhere in between?

She is 20, that's young. Congrats on buying a house at 24. But it's your house so you set the rules. Either way talk to her.

[chloe1981]

I think if you want her to help out then she should pay.

 

I would just casually bring it up over dinner or something..

 

I bought my studip apartment two months before meeting my partner...and a after a few months of dating he pretty much moved in. Not officially, but stayed most nights. We have a actual piggy bank which we both put $50 a week into for groceries and we seem to get by with healthy good meals + cleaning products etc with that.

 

He doesnt pay my rent or contribute to rent but I personally dont want him too. Heres the thing. My parents pay for my carspace as its close to their work (they live hours away) so that is a big chunk of money that goes towards the mortgage. Plus on weekends I will often stay at my bf's parents place with him because his parents have a nice big place near the beach. They look after me, feed us etc.

 

The thing is if I wasnt getting some money for the carspace and wasnt staying at his place on weekends I would probably be a lot tighter for money. In this case I probably would ask for some rent money.

 

I would just communicate that your very tight for money and you appriciate if she would contribute to rent. Honestly, she really shouldnt have an issue with that. If she was living anywhere else she would be paying rent.

[LostInFlorida]

No, you should not make her pay. YOU bought the house, independent of her, and it's obviously your choice to move her in. Besides, you will have the same payments whether she is there or not, except maybe a small increase in the utilities.

[smiles21]

I spoke with her last night about it, she felt like I was attacking her which I was not.

 

She then proceeded to throw a $100 dollars at me and we got into an argument. I told her how I'm not dealing with asking her every week for money.. and she said she would give me money when she had it, but she hasn't been working as much and couldn't pick up any shifts at work as none were available. She also starts college again soon so starting a morning job would be pointless.

 

She knows she needs to give me money, and she said she would. So we shall see where it goes.

[ghost69]

maybe compromise and have her buy groceries every other week and pay half the utilities.