Ok, I have a 3rd date schedule for Monday, so what are 5 Things I should be discussing on the date?

[ImThatGirl]

No you didn't. You didn't get layed off. Your boss already told you not to worry about it when you sent the email to her.

[ConfusedDater]

If you're going to cancel on a lady, you should offer a proposed later date at the same time and set something exact. Or depending on the situation, it can sometimes be appropriate to send flowers if you need to cancel a date.

 

But seriously, if money and the job thing is going to be such a big issue that you can't keep and hold a date with a lady, then it's best to just not date until you get all that resolved. You may like her and not want to pass up the chance, but really that's better I think that the current approach.

 

I can;t offer a proposed date until I get confirmation that I will be working after june 30th

[hers]

Why not a free date?

[ycmanvs]

I already suggested a free date but he said that he was too stressed out for that. Perhaps you should not date until you are less stressed by life's events in general. I know that if I am stressed, I do not want to see new people...

[ConfusedDater]

No you didn't. You didn't get layed off. Your boss already told you not to worry about it when you sent the email to her.

 

But I think he is DOUBLE TALKING so until I find out that he is not, money will only be spent on food and bills.

[ImThatGirl]

As long as you choose to self sabotage your chances, you should stop sulking about not having had a 3rd date in years, CD.

[hockeyboy]

Why not a free date?

 

we keep asking, but don't get the answer...

[ConfusedDater]

I already suggested a free date but he said that he was too stressed out for that. Perhaps you should not date until you are less stressed by life's events in general. I know that if I am stressed, I do not want to see new people...

 

yeah facing a possible layoff will do that to you

[ConfusedDater]

As long as you choose to self sabotage your chances' date=' you should stop sulking about not having had a 3rd date in years, CD.[/quote']

 

 

 

well seems like my job was STABLE when i was not making it to the 3rd date, now that i figured out how to act on a date and started having success, now a layoff has to possibly be in the picture

[ycmanvs]

yeah facing a possible layoff will do that to you

 

I agree. Take it easy. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. But, I do suggest occasionally trying a different approach....such as a date....to see if you might feel better by having a distraction from your worries. A nice walk with a nice girl might make both of you feel better.

[ImThatGirl]

well seems like my job was STABLE when i was not making it to the 3rd date, now that i figured out how to act on a date and started having success, now a layoff has to possibly be in the picture

 

 

If you let every little thing affect your decisions on whether you are going on a date or not.... you will never be successful at dating, CD.

 

It is selfish of you. And nobody deserves to be at your mercy in that way.

 

A list of reasons you have decided to can people

- They asked a scripted question

- They lived too far away

- They were going to come on your birthday and you don't want to pay on your birthday

- You think you might get laid off even though your boss has said you have nothing to worry about

 

I'm not trying to be gripy here. But these are all bs reasons. And seriously Man.... You may as well start enjoying being single if you are going to be so rash.

[hers]

Or a ferry ride on the river by Philly. Or walking around that boardwalk they have there. Help me out here people--I've only seen one part of Philly. There's gotta be plenty of free things to do in Philly.

 

What's stressful about a free date?

[ImThatGirl]

^^^ It's not money so much that is an issue is it?

 

The stress - - no the money - - no the stress - - no the money

 

Any excuse, no?

[ConfusedDater]

Or a ferry ride on the river by Philly. Or walking around that boardwalk they have there. Help me out here people--I've only seen one part of Philly. There's gotta be plenty of free things to do in Philly.

 

What's stressful about a free date?

 

 

 

It has more to do with my mindset than the money. dating is mental work and I'm not in the mood to impress or intrigued anyone with this hanging over my head

[hers]

 

A list of reasons you have decided to can people

- They asked a scripted question

- They lived too far away

- They were going to come on your birthday and you don't want to pay on your birthday

- You think you might get laid off even though your boss has said you have nothing to worry about

-They take pole dancing lessons for exercise

-They ask about his career in the future

-They ask if he cooks

-They ask if he likes his job

-Cut a call short to talk to her mom

 

 

CD, chill! Plenty of great girls out there but you're giving them all up for trivial things!

[hockeyboy]

It has more to do with my mindset than the money. dating is mental work and I'm not in the mood to impress or intrigued anyone with this hanging over my head

 

really? honestly?

 

if so..then you should do this girl a favor and cancel.

[ImThatGirl]

^^ he did

[hockeyboy]

your right, i forgot he already went ahead with it.

 

good.

[ConfusedDater]

really? honestly?

 

if so..then you should do this girl a favor and cancel.

 

 

 

Hopefully in July I can start having fun again

[hers]

You can have fun now. You are just choosing not to. People lose jobs every day but they don't let it stop them from having a good time and living life.

[ConfusedDater]

You can have fun now. You are just choosing not to. People lose jobs every day but they don't let it stop them from having a good time and living life.

 

 

well knowing that you have 6 months to find new employment, it's no time to go out and have fun. And 6 months goes a lot faster when you are HOME versus being at work

[hers]

So you will sit there consumed with wondering where your next job is coming from, rather than watching TV, watching sports, watching a movie, seeing a friend, or seeing a girl? You mean to tell me you will halt ALL entertainment in your life b/c you are SO consumed with a job you haven't even lost yet? Doesn't make sense to me.

 

I mean, I sympathize with you about the job thing. I really do. But you can still enjoy yourself if something like that happens. You're allowed to have fun in your life. Life is meant to be LIVED, not WORKED. And that means you can still interact with people, find enjoyment in things in life, all while looking for a job. Looking for a new job isn't a 24/7 process. I realize it's difficult to find a new job, but don't give up so easily. That's all I'm saying.

[ConfusedDater]

I live in a expensive neighborhood and with unemployment being NOTHING, there is no way I would have money to date. The combination of a $55 rent increase with a layoff would a shutdown on entertainment in my life. There would only be money for FOOD and BILLS and that would be even just barely

[hers]

I understand that, but I'm talking about free things as well. Going on a walk in a nice neighborhood, going to a park and hanging out, walking on the boardwalk in Philly.

 

Is there any possibility of moving to a cheaper neighborhood?

[ccali78]

Just make sure you balance the conversation and have fun. Flirt make eye contact but not for too long and break it do not stare. Give some mystery so there is more to come back for. I am not good at giving dating advice and I do not really do dates. I just like to go out and have fun and hopefully it turns into something so maybe I am not good at giving advice. I just usually end up dating. Good luck. You deserve it