At what age does sexuality manifest? Age 5, 9, 12?

[kevinm]

This was brought up in another thread, and since I don't want to hijack the other posters thread I thought I'd start this one. I'm not trying to be right or wrong, but my thoughts were that sexuality manifests at puberty, so for most people this is roughly 12 years of age.

 

A few other members felt that sexuality begins far earlier... or COULD begin far earlier.

 

I did some quick internet research and what I found was a subject called "precocious puberty". In which there is a wiki article here:

 

link removed

 

One paragraph I'd like to highlight is the following:

 

Studies indicate that breast development in girls and pubic hair in girls and boys are starting earlier than in previous generations. As a result, "early puberty" in children as young as 9 and 10 is no longer considered abnormal, although it may be upsetting to parents.

 

No single age limit reliably separates normal from abnormal processes in children today, but the following age thresholds for evaluation will minimize the risk of missing a significant medical problem:

 

Pubic hair or genital enlargement in boys with onset before 9 years.

Breast development in boys before appearance of pubic hair and testicular enlargement.

Pubic hair before 8 or breast development in girls with onset before 7 years.

Menstruation in girls before 10 years.

Suggested causes needed]

endocrine disorder

familial associations

abnormalities in the ovaries, testicles, or adrenal glands

structural problems in the brain

tumors that release hormones (estrogen, testosterone, etc.)

 

So, with this in mind... when do humans show signs of sexuality?

 

-Kevin

[redhearts]

I heard on ena about an 8 year old who masturbated.

[agent1607307371]

Sexuality manifests when it manifests, and obviously that is going to differ from person to person depending on the environment they are exposed to growing up, their own body chemistry and their own maturity levels.

 

And of course, just because it's physically manifesting doesn't mean that the person is psychologically ready to handle it.

[annie24]

link removed

 

here's some stuff on wikipedia. if you read any work by freud, he states that it happens even before the child is a year and a half old. but masterbation, exploring ones body, that's pretty common around 4, 5, 6....

[redhearts]

Thats a little disturbing your little 4 year old may be masturbating, is that what we are talking about? It does explain the even earlier teen pregnancys though.

[annie24]

Thats a little disturbing your little 4 year old may be masturbating, is that what we are talking about? It does explain the even earlier teen pregnancys though.

 

why is that disturbing? it's just normal human development. children are curious about their bodies. doesn't mean they start having sex early too.

[redhearts]

why is that disturbing? it's just normal human development. children are curious about their bodies. doesn't mean they start having sex early too.

 

Think if you had a 4 year old daughter who was masturbating or doing things to explore.. shes in the next room "sleeping" I mean its just odd, I won't start I'll leave it at that.

[annie24]

Think if you had a 4 year old daughter who was masturbating or doing things to explore.. shes in the next room "sleeping" I mean its just odd, I won't start I'll leave it at that.

 

i think that i started mastrubating at about that age. i wasn't sexually abused or anything like that, wasn't a promiscuous teen either - or at least, not any more so than the average teen. after a took a class on freud's work, i saw that i wasn't abnormal at all. seems many kids start to become aware of their bodies around that time.

[redhearts]

i think that i started mastrubating at about that age. i wasn't sexually abused or anything like that, wasn't a promiscuous teen either - or at least, not any more so than the average teen. after a took a class on freud's work, i saw that i wasn't abnormal at all. seems many kids start to become aware of their bodies around that time.

 

I just think it may be bothersome to a parent to think "their innocent little girl" is doing that?! I mean so these days instead of joking to a 13 year old as a present pads you give em a vibrator!? LOL!

 

But anyways, maybe to some females who do that at an early age aren't promiscuous, but I wonder what majority of females end up being promiscuous.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Think if you had a 4 year old daughter who was masturbating or doing things to explore.. shes in the next room "sleeping" I mean its just odd, I won't start I'll leave it at that.

 

 

it happens! My son started messing with himself very early on as soon as he had good enough coordination. Now at 3 he does it more often, and to be honest when he starts doing it I tell him to go to his bedroom. It's not "odd",it's nothing bad or disturbing it's part of life.

It's not necessarily considered masturbation at their age however since they really have no clue what they're doing sexually they just know it feels good and they start exploring.

 

As far as sexuality, I wouldn't trust wikipedia as a place to get my information about when it all starts and all that good stuff, LOL

[annie24]

I just think it may be bothersome to a parent to think "their innocent little girl" is doing that?! I mean so these days instead of joking to a 13 year old as a present pads you give em a vibrator!? LOL!

 

But anyways, maybe to some females who do that at an early age aren't promiscuous, but I wonder what majority of females end up being promiscuous.

 

lol, i didn't care what my parents thought, i just knew it felt good! just like mythical suicide said. it's very common, it's not like i was a 4 year old pervert. it's just what children do - explore their bodies. it's not about buying a vibrator or anything like that. how old were you when you started?

 

and i agree about wikipedia not being the best place for information.

[kevinm]

Interesting article Annie24, and I've not studied any Freud, but my understanding is that the he is pretty much out-dated. As far as sexuality... I'm still not convinced that it begins at such an early age. True, children do choose same gender friends, but that hardly solidifies the age 5-6 attraction theory posted in another thread. Speaking of actual physical attraction I would think has more to do with chemistry than socialization.

 

-Kevin

[Mythical_Suicide]

This is the problem people have with sexuality.. Everything is viewed as such a bad thing when in reality masturbation (even though I don't do it often) is part of exploration and is normal! It's not taboo, it's not dirty and most importantly it's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Just because a child or person masturbates doesn't mean they are going to be promiscuous, that is a whole other issue.

[Superfreak]

In kindergarten, and possibly before, I didn't know what sex was but I did know that I wanted to have it. I started getting erections in kindergarten too.

[annie24]

Interesting article Annie24, and I've not studied any Freud, but my understanding is that the he is pretty much out-dated. As far as sexuality... I'm still not convinced that it begins at such an early age. True, children do choose same gender friends, but that hardly solidifies the age 5-6 attraction theory posted in another thread. Speaking of actual physical attraction I would think has more to do with chemistry than socialization.

 

-Kevin

 

just because freud is out of favor right now doesn't mean he didn't get some things right.

 

i certainly had attraction to boys when i was 5 and 6, i remember it clearly - like little crushes. and i have many friends who are gay who said they knew they were gay at 5 or 6 years of age. i also remember being that age and noticing that our female and male dogs and cats had different body parts, and knew it was the same in humans too.

[GypsyMuse]

Most of my friends started being sexually attracted to boys around the same time I did, which was in grade 7 when we were 12. Up to then boys were just playmates.

 

I remember it well because we all developed a crush on the same guy. We even fought over who was going to go with him to the fair and ended up all going. I suspect he was in heaven, getting so much attention.

[kevinm]

I'm not arguing that exploration of ones body or "crushes" begin at an early age. What I'm debating is the label that they are related to sexuality in an adult sense. Perhaps I need to expand my notion of sexuality, but to me, unless the chemistry is in the brain (i.e. puberty has arrived) then the actions of self exploration and opposite gender desire cannot be labeled as "sexual". Maybe I was a late bloomer, but I don't recall actually having sexual desires until I was in the fifth grade... so I was 11 years old if my math is right.

 

-Kevin

[Censored]

I'm not arguing that exploration of ones body or "crushes" begin at an early age. What I'm debating is the label that they are related to sexuality in an adult sense. Perhaps I need to expand my notion of sexuality, but to me, unless the chemistry is in the brain (i.e. puberty has arrived) then the actions of self exploration and opposite gender desire cannot be labeled as "sexual". Maybe I was a late bloomer, but I don't recall actually having sexual desires until I was in the fifth grade... so I was 11 years old if my math is right.

 

-Kevin

 

I agree, the term sexuality is far more than exploration of the body. Having a clear concept of what sexual desires and satisfaction are would be closer to my interpretation of "sexuality".

[Fade]

i remember being told about masturbation in year 6 (so around 10 yrs old) and trying it, and liking it

i think that's quite early!

[melrich]

What I'm debating is the label that they are related to sexuality in an adult sense. Perhaps I need to expand my notion of sexuality, but to me, unless the chemistry is in the brain

 

Yes. I think the problem with this thread is no one has defined sexuality.

 

Kids do explore their bodies from quite a young age. Young boys get erections, young girls can enjoy the feeling of rubbing their genitalia. Kids also know from a very early age that there is a difference between boys and girls.

 

Are they sexually aware beings....no, not in the sense that they become sexually aware through and during puberty.

 

At young ages, children simply respond to what we would call sexual stimuli in the same way that they respond to anything that feels good or makes them happy. There is no awareness of the sexuality of it.

[eurocar]

I'm not arguing that exploration of ones body or "crushes" begin at an early age. What I'm debating is the label that they are related to sexuality in an adult sense. Perhaps I need to expand my notion of sexuality, but to me, unless the chemistry is in the brain (i.e. puberty has arrived) then the actions of self exploration and opposite gender desire cannot be labeled as "sexual". Maybe I was a late bloomer, but I don't recall actually having sexual desires until I was in the fifth grade... so I was 11 years old if my math is right.

 

-Kevin

 

Same here.

 

I don't believe that pre-pubescent children can have specific or conscious sexual desires, but rather they are aware of their genitals as independent sources of pleasure, without any of the procreative, societal, or even sexual connotations. It's probably akin to the cognizance of a flame being the source of pain; they know not to touch it. Similarly, they know that touching their genitals evokes a sense of relative pleasure and is certainly intriguing, but they have not yet made the critical association/implementation of that aspect of their being into the overall order of their lives.

[Eire1]

I had crushes on girls in the first grade, before I knew anything about the bird and the bees. I once talked this pretty classmate of mine in the 1st grade to show me her boobs behind a bush on the playground. I felt them, and of course she was as flat chested as I was. But I REALLY wanted to touch them and kiss her in the mouth.

 

I had a crush on my third grade teacher. She got pregnant during that year and when I spent the night at some friends house they informed me of the birds and the bees. They told me that her husband had put his penis insider her and shot seeds into her and that's how she became pregnant.

 

I almost felt like I had a wet dream that night laying there and thinking about her and what she had done to her husband. I didn't have an orgasm, but my thoughts were very erotic and intense.

 

My first orgasm probably came in the 5th grade, alone in the bathroom, looking at porn pictures from my friends, and rubbing myself. Very little sperm ejaculated - just a drop at the tip, but the feeling was amazing. I think my mind had begun to outpace my body at that point. It would be at least a year before my ejaculations became quite large, so clearly I was sexual before I had fooly developed.

[m12988]

I would touch myself at the age of 4-5 too, no orgasm of course, but just merely exploring the body. I think it's perfectly healthy and i believe that if my child was ever doing that, i'd tell him/her to go to his room and do that stuff in private. As awkward as it may be, it's nature and i try to just think of it as that. If i did it at that age and grew up normal, they should too.

[hers]

I used to play wiht myself as a kid all the time (I remember being as young as 4). I didnt know what I was doing, but I knew it felt "funny", but a good funny. I masturbated for real by the time I was 12, had sex by 14 and have been having it consistently since (I'm 25 now). So what someone said about doing it that young causing promiscuity, I have no clue, but I did get started pretty y0oung. I don't think that's why I got started so young on sex though. Who knows. This is an interesting topic.

[greywolf]

I just think it may be bothersome to a parent to think "their innocent little girl" is doing that?! I mean so these days instead of joking to a 13 year old as a present pads you give em a vibrator!? LOL!

 

But anyways, maybe to some females who do that at an early age aren't promiscuous, but I wonder what majority of females end up being promiscuous.

 

I have been masturbating since before I can remember and I am no where near promiscuous. (I sometimes wish I was though. hahahahah)