At which point does being a virgin become "too weird"?

[jonny15]

Not exclusively. Believe it or not, there are women who love inviting over virgins for one night and breaking them in and post ads looking for them. I'm not saying they're common, but I've seen ads.

 

I need to find one of these women.

 

There probably very uncommon. But i'd love to run into one that wanted my v-card.

[Go Habs Go]

MD Geist's post confirms that women are just as shallow, if not more so than men.

[MD Geist]

MD Geist's post confirms that women are just as shallow, if not more so than men.

 

 

Women are more shallow than men are, Men are more opened to being with virgin girls than women are with virgin guys.

 

There is nothing else I can say about that otherwise most of the men on ENA wouldn't have issues with dating, sexual issues later on life due to later loss of virginity. When was the last time you saw a woman post on this forum and talked about how great it was to deflower her 25 year old male virgin boyfriend who has never kissed or dated? or how she's 36 and he's 36 and still a virgin and have never had a girlfiend and such?.

 

I have been on ENA and I have only heard that once. Once out of only god knows how many men struggle with women posts due to the lack of experience.

 

I really want to believe women do not care if you are a virgin, inexperienced or not but in realitly I see the total opposite, they do care if you are inexperienced and are still a virgin at a later age. ANY woman will give a guy the once over look if she discovers he's a virgin past the age of 21. Its just something I can't see any woman taking causally regardless of how interested she might be in him or how in love she with the guy.

 

Its not the same as him telling you he has never driven a motorcycle or been fishing in his life. I really couldn't say what it would be like because I'm fresh out of words.](*,)

 

But anyways if your a woman who's past the age of 21 and still a virgin, good for you because its a double standard. For a guy, he would be considered a loser.

 

Not exclusively. Believe it or not, there are women who love inviting over virgins for one night and breaking them in and post ads looking for them. I'm not saying they're common, but I've seen ads.

 

Craigslist had a few of those adds before and 100% of the time it was a gay guy or a spammer on the other end.

 

I would be shocked if it was an actual woman who enjoyed breaking in male virgins but I strongly doubt it. I have money that says I have a better chance of finding a real Alien than a woman who seeks virgins.

 

 

I need to find one of these women.

 

There probably very uncommon. But i'd love to run into one that wanted my v-card.

 

With money its possible.

 

I have been offered and all I had to pay was a small fee but I have better places to put my money than have sex. Sex should be free of charge.

[jonny15]

I was thinking about females that would take my v-card for free.

 

Not someone that wanted money.

[Go Habs Go]

But if the guy was hot, would they be quick to dismiss him? Not saying that's the case, but it still shows women are more shallow. They're just better at hiding it. But don't worry, the woman will learn a few STDs later and possibly a pregnancy.

[In the Dark]

This is probably one of the worst cases.....maybe not I don't know.....but it is fact.

 

I woman I was in a relationship with told me after a month or so that she had slept with someone who is a friend of hers one drunken night.

She ran for the hills when she found out he was a virgin.

 

She didn't have anything to say about the quality of the sex because she was too drunk to remember.

 

Yes i regret being in a relationship with her but I did not know the kind of superficial loser she was until the real her showed.

[Sparkly Eyes]

This is probably one of the worst cases.....maybe not I don't know.....but it is fact.

 

I woman I was in a relationship with told me after a month or so that she had slept with someone who is a friend of hers one drunken night.

She ran for the hills when she found out he was a virgin.

 

She didn't have anything to say about the quality of the sex because she was too drunk to remember.

 

Yes i regret being in a relationship with her but I did not know the kind of superficial loser she was until the real her showed.

 

She is a superficial loser just because she didn't want to date a virgin?! talking about being judgmental...

 

I have one advice to virgin guys. Virginity is NOT BAD, nothing to be ashamed of, if you act desperate and act like it's a huge thing, girls will think the same. Just be confident, a lot. I have said before how the only reason I wouldn't like to date a virgin is that I'm afraid he gets the GIGS syndrome. However, if he can assure me and make me believe he is the right guy, I wouldn't reject him just because of inexperience. I mean sex is sex, not rocket science, and if you are talented and enthusiastic, you're gonna learn it and be good at it.

 

But if the guy was hot, would they be quick to dismiss him? Not saying that's the case, but it still shows women are more shallow. They're just better at hiding it. But don't worry, the woman will learn a few STDs later and possibly a pregnancy.

 

wow, you guys are really bitter.

[In the Dark]

worriedgirl...

 

I know you are all for backing up women regardless.

Even to the point where you post "And Guys to do too......"

 

As for the person I was in a relationship with.....

It was more than just her stopping anything going further with this guy because he was a virgin which made her superficial.

 

But that is STILL a ridiculous reason to stop the forming of a relationship with someone.

Finding out they are a virgin after drunk sex with them.

 

Pure class...

[randomgirl59]

Worried girl is right, you are both very bitter. Girls are not more shallow than guys. There are shallow people from both genders.

 

But if the guy was hot, would they be quick to dismiss him? Not saying that's the case, but it still shows women are more shallow. They're just better at hiding it. But don't worry, the woman will learn a few STDs later and possibly a pregnancy.

 

wow..that's real nice of you...wishing some woman will get her come-uppins because she refuses you? what if she's not attracted to you? then she deserves STD's? What if it was an obese and really unattractive woman who offered to take you virginity? would you still do it?

 

worriedgirl...

 

I know you are all for backing up women regardless.

Even to the point where you post "And Guys to do too......"

 

As for the person I was in a relationship with.....

It was more than just her stopping anything going further with this guy because he was a virgin which made her superficial.

 

But that is STILL a ridiculous reason to stop the forming of a relationship with someone.

Finding out they are a virgin after drunk sex with them.

 

Pure class...

 

this is a woman who had drunk sex with someone, and you're surprised she acted in a rude and un-classy way?

 

You think women are so shallow? consider this

 

How many derogatory terms are there for overweight women?

 

How many movies/TV shows/other forms of media make jokes at the expense of a fat or ugly girl? Family Guy is one example that comes to mind.

 

How is it that I always somehow manage to find at least one comment on every youtube video criticizing a female's looks?

 

Someone mentioned the double standard in all this, and they're right. Maybe for guys some would consider it bad if they are an adult virgin. But dont forget the stigma involved if a woman sleeps with too many guys. She's automatically labled a * * * * * . Meanwhile a man can stick it in anywhere and be considered a stud. So both genders have negatives when it comes to sex/virginity.

 

Also lets not forget about the men out there that are pretty pleased if a girl is still a virgin. She's innocent and pure! He also gets to feel all good about himself because he conquered her...got to be the one that popped her cherry. This does not apply to all men, but those types still do exist. Especially the super conservative ones.

 

And you older virgin males have someone rooting for you too..The 40 Year Old Virgin. That movie had a positive message regarding virginity, Steve Carell still managed to get laid in the end despite his age, and he was right all along, it was his non-virgin friends that had the dysfunctional relationships. Maybe it is just a movie, but movies do help in shaping some people's opinions.

 

But just to prove my point even further I'm gonna tell you a story. I know a sleazy guy irl who was telling me about this girl he was trying to get to sleep with him, when she told him that she was still a virgin he was put off..he said it was cuz he had bad luck with virgins (assuming that its cuz they got too clingy afterwards)

 

See, it goes both ways. It's not about "backing up women" its about being fair.

[ProtestTheHero]

lol, this is an issue where there's too much stress and not enough practical steps and thinking occurring.

 

I think most of the time people would find it sort of odd if you've graduated from college and are a virgin. Is it weird? To some people. Those who'd totally dismiss any possibility of being with a virgin are probably not too common unless they're looking for a one night thing, but if you're an older virgin you probably don't want that anyways.

 

Never waste time lamenting the attitudes of certain people. If you're a virgin guy, why would you even bother appealing to a woman who refused to date virgins? Why would you want to be with someone who made base assumptions, had serious projection issues, etc. etc.? Leave them alone, they'll find their own kind soon enough.

 

It's like being poor and being pissed that gold diggers won't date you. Well, why do you want a gold digger? Why do you want someone that would rather brush you off than get to know you before deciding you're a Waco, Texas fundie with mom issues? lol. If they're that limited in this area, be sure they are limited in others as well.

 

I'm not a virgin, but let's not pretend that it takes a hell of a lot of time to show a willing learner with no hangups what you like and what's up. As for the double standards "Rah rah" stuff...that's irrelevant to this. The opinions people form of virgins who can't get laid atm are not a result of a choice they've made. A woman who has slept with 100 guys and gets labeled has, however, made a choice. Don't compare the two.

[getbiii]

i think it would be weird if you had the hotest girls ever wanting to have sex with you and you denied them.

[ProtestTheHero]

Lol, I denied it with the girl who eventually became my first serious gf later down the road. It depends what type of person you are. Some guys see a girl get naked and their thinking stops. Not possible for me. Need to make sure I'm not getting punk'd first.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Gret post Randomgirl. It physically hurts sometimes when I hear men accuseing women of shallowness,lol...Are they living on another planet or what?

 

and I love the fact that you brought up the movie example. Lots and lots of movies showing virgin, unattractive men who get laid by the hottest women, trying to work these guys way up and make them feel better or whatever. But how many movies have you seen of a relatively unattractive girl getting a good looking or great guy? heck, do you even see unattractive girls in movies? I don't!

[In the Dark]

Randomgirl59

 

Did I say ALL women?

 

No....

 

This is ONE situation with ONE woman I unfortunately took the time to get to know before I knew her true behavior.

My own true story, not a story off the net.

 

How did this get into a all blown out fairness debate and an attack at me saying I am bitter when this is what I found out?

 

I know men can be dogs and I pointed it out right from the start in my first post on this thread along with my own personal experience from what an ex said to me.

 

One woman.

 

Not ALL women and I do not know ALL women, just the ones I have had the pleasure and displeasure to meet.

[randomgirl59]

Randomgirl59

 

Did I say ALL women?

 

No....

 

This is ONE situation with ONE woman I unfortunately took the time to get to know before I knew her true behavior.

My own true story, not a story off the net.

 

How did this get into a all blown out fairness debate and an attack at me saying I am bitter when this is what I found out?

 

I know men can be dogs and I pointed it out right from the start in my first post on this thread along with my own personal experience from what an ex said to me.

 

One woman.

 

Not ALL women and I do not know ALL women, just the ones I have had the pleasure and displeasure to meet.

 

 

"this is a woman who had drunk sex with someone, and you're surprised she acted in a rude and un-classy way?"

 

That's the comment I meant for you. The rest was a general response to the people claiming woman were more shallow than men. I should have separated the next paragraph better after I wrote my part to you, so my mistake on that one.

[randomgirl59]

Gret post Randomgirl. It physically hurts sometimes when I hear men accuseing women of shallowness,lol...Are they living on another planet or what?

 

and I love the fact that you brought up the movie example. Lots and lots of movies showing virgin, unattractive men who get laid by the hottest women, trying to work these guys way up and make them feel better or whatever. But how many movies have you seen of a relatively unattractive girl getting a good looking or great guy? heck, do you even see unattractive girls in movies? I don't!

 

I think men and women can be shallow about different things..and double standards, misconceptions, stereotypes and what society feeds us all comes into play..but that's a whole other topic..

 

And yea totally agree about the movie thing. I could go on forever about this topic but this isn't the right place

[Go Habs Go]

wow, you guys are really bitter.

 

 

Not bitter, just calling it the way it is. For the record, I'm not a virgin so I think my input is a bit different than a virgin's input here.

 

 

wow..that's real nice of you...wishing some woman will get her come-uppins because she refuses you? what if she's not attracted to you? then she deserves STD's? What if it was an obese and really unattractive woman who offered to take you virginity? would you still do it?

 

 

Who said anything about refusing me? If a woman turned me down for being a virgin, then she deserves whatever she gets. It's funny how people will turn down others for being a virgin, yet they were a virgin at one point. If I had slept with 100 women, she'd love to sleep with me. Women want men that are desired by other women, proven fact.

 

If I were still a virgin, I wouldn't want a woman that only wanted to take a my virginity, no matter how attractive or unattractive. But I find it funny that women have the attitude of "You'll find someone to lose your virginity with, it just won't be me". Male virginity is not attractive to women and I have seen this time in and time out in real life. What women say here on forums and what they do in real life are often polar opposites.

 

Think of it this way: Why do man-w****s become that way? Because there are plenty of women willing to sleep with them. Which gets back to my point of women want men that are desired by other women.

[obs]

While male virginity is certainly looked down upon by society, I don't agree that most women would rule out a relationship with a guy because he's a virgin. My guess is being a virgin causes many guys, especially those in the mid 20s or later, to be uncomfortable and have a lack of confidence around woman. I know I was certainly that way for quite a while.

[jonny15]

My guess is being a virgin causes many guys, especially those in the mid 20s or later, to be uncomfortable and have a lack of confidence around woman. I know I was certainly that way for quite a while.

 

That is true.

 

I really have no confidence.

 

Experience can boost confidence.

 

But to have experience, you need confidence.

 

I just would hate to be viewed as undesirable because I haven't had sex.

[randomgirl59]

Yea, so? Lots of men want women that are desired by other men. Lots of men want an attractive woman on their arm so they can show off and feel like a stud. Lots of men date for "trophy" girlfriends. Anyone less than that is nothing.

 

But see how I added "lots" instead of stating "men" as a whole. You're assuming that all women want men that are desired by other women. A lot of women don't really give a crap, they're with someone because they love them. I see this with the couples I know in real life.

 

And you know what? even if you disagree with it, and even if it may seem unfair, you aren't entitled to a woman okay? if she doesn't want someone because they're a virgin or whatever other reason she still doesn't "deserve what she gets" that is a really screwed up attitude. As if you haven't rejected anyone before. As if you dont have your preferences in a mate. You're bitter and this will show, and bitterness it isn't exactly attractive. You aren't even a virgin anymore so why are you even complaining??? a woman took your virginity did she not?

 

Did you even bother to read the rest of my post? there are unfair double standards for men and women regarding virginity. You can choose to believe that all women will reject men who are virgins, or you can take into consideration that women don't all think the same and it wouldn't be an issue for a lot of them.

 

This attitude is not gonna help you in the relationship/sex department, unless you're good at hiding it. If that's the case then I hope no one has to come accross it.

[Organs]

I was thinking about females that would take my v-card for free.

 

Not someone that wanted money.

 

Yeah, that's who I was talking about. MD Geist has a point, but there's a touch of hyperbole in what he says.

 

I've actually spoken to girls who were disappointed that I was not a virgin because that was the one thing that turned them off from me. 'Course, since I wasn't one, it didn't bother me and I felt happy that there was at least one woman out there like her.

[Organs]

And you older virgin males have someone rooting for you too..The 40 Year Old Virgin. That movie had a positive message regarding virginity, Steve Carell still managed to get laid in the end despite his age, and he was right all along, it was his non-virgin friends that had the dysfunctional relationships. Maybe it is just a movie, but movies do help in shaping some people's opinions.

 

That movie is hardly a positive image booster for older virgins. The movie is successful solely because people love to laugh and mock older virgins and the movie played on that. It didn't legitimize Andy's reasons for being a virgin and it didn't make him out to be the better person for being a virgin. It made him out to be the bigger loser for being a virgin.

 

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I saw that movie stoned off my butt and I still found it more depressing than Michael Moore's "Roger and Me".

[randomgirl59]

That movie is hardly a positive image booster for older virgins. The movie is successful solely because people love to laugh and mock older virgins and the movie played on that. It didn't legitimize Andy's reasons for being a virgin and it didn't make him out to be the better person for being a virgin. It made him out to be the bigger loser for being a virgin.

 

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I saw that movie stoned off my butt and I still found it more depressing than Michael Moore's "Roger and Me".

 

First off, SPOILERS for those who haven't seen it.

 

I disagree. Near the beginning, yes the audience does think Andy is a bit of a loser. But as the movie progresses into the whole "we're gonna get you sex" bit, you start to feel for him and realize that its his non virgin friends who are the ones that are screwed up. Are they happy? no..especially the guy that cant get over his ex. Their relationships are dysfunctional and unhealthy and Andy plus the audience knows that he shouldn't listen to their advice. Once Andy is left to progress at his own pace with his relationship, does he finally have sex with Trish and also finds the love of his life. Andy is the better person because he has the healthiest relationship.

 

And Andy did have a reason for being a virgin. The times he tried in his youth were complete failures, so he just gave up. He was young, of course it'd have been awkward but that doesn't mean he should have stopped trying..you'll also notice that Beth was willing to sleep with him too, he just chose not to cuz she was..umm..very crazy when it came to sex.

 

Personally I felt it had a positive message regarding the subject, and I found Andy's character to be very likable. If I met a guy like that irl and their was attraction his virginity wouldn't be an issue at all, and no I'm not just saying that.

 

Maybe you could try watching it again when you aren't stoned? lol..

[Go Habs Go]

Yea, so? Lots of men want women that are desired by other men. Lots of men want an attractive woman on their arm so they can show off and feel like a stud. Lots of men date for "trophy" girlfriends. Anyone less than that is nothing.

 

 

Most men back off when they see a woman surrounded by lots of men. Men desired by many women and women desired by many men are not the same.

 

 

But see how I added "lots" instead of stating "men" as a whole. You're assuming that all women want men that are desired by other women. A lot of women don't really give a crap, they're with someone because they love them. I see this with the couples I know in real life.

 

 

There have been articles that support women wanting men that are desired by other women.

 

 

And you know what? even if you disagree with it, and even if it may seem unfair, you aren't entitled to a woman okay? if she doesn't want someone because they're a virgin or whatever other reason she still doesn't "deserve what she gets" that is a really screwed up attitude. As if you haven't rejected anyone before. As if you dont have your preferences in a mate. You're bitter and this will show, and bitterness it isn't exactly attractive. You aren't even a virgin anymore so why are you even complaining??? a woman took your virginity did she not?

 

 

How did this turn into me feeling entitled to a woman? As a woman, if you're going to sleep with someone knowing they've been with many others, then yes they deserve what they get. I am not bitter and have no reason to be. I am a realist and I don't sugarcoat anything. I lost my virginity in a relationship, not with someone that did it because she wanted a conquest.

 

 

Did you even bother to read the rest of my post? there are unfair double standards for men and women regarding virginity. You can choose to believe that all women will reject men who are virgins, or you can take into consideration that women don't all think the same and it wouldn't be an issue for a lot of them.

 

 

Yes, there are unfair double standards. I don't agree with them, but it's reality. The majority of women don't want virgins, regardless of what they say. Ask any guy that has been successful with women and they will tell you exactly what I am saying. Not all women, but the majority. If I had to estimate, I'd say 75% easily.

 

 

This attitude is not gonna help you in the relationship/sex department, unless you're good at hiding it. If that's the case then I hope no one has to come accross it.

 

 

My attitude isn't the problem. I don't have to bad mouth women. I have never had a problem attracting women. But, I'm not going to sugarcoat the truth because it might offend some people.

[randomgirl59]

Most men back off when they see a woman surrounded by lots of men. Men desired by many women and women desired by many men are not the same.

 

Yea so? That doesn’t change the fact that these men would still find her attractive. They might not approach her but that doesn’t mean they don’t fantasize or think about being with her. Same goes for women. One may see a guy who is very attractive but doesn’t persue him because he is unavailable. Both genders are privy to being attracted to someone they can’t have. How is it so different? You think all women lose their senses because they may see a man they can’t have? Sorry to burst your bubble but a lot of us back off too when a guy we like is taken or clearly has a flock of women surrounding him. Lots of women would have sense to not deal with a guy like that. And like I said before, lots of women also don’t really care if he’s attractive to other women or not.

 

There have been articles that support women wanting men that are desired by other women.

 

Gee I wonder who these articles are written by? Because articles clearly can’t be biased. Because articles clearly represent the thoughts and actions of every woman on the planet. I’ll bring you an article from Cosmo and then say “well so and so is true about men because I read it in an article” see what you’d have to say about that.

 

How did this turn into me feeling entitled to a woman? As a woman, if you're going to sleep with someone knowing they've been with many others, then yes they deserve what they get. I am not bitter and have no reason to be. I am a realist and I don't sugarcoat anything. I lost my virginity in a relationship, not with someone that did it because she wanted a conquest.

 

If a woman turned me down for being a virgin, then she deserves whatever she gets.

 

That shows entitlement right there. Heaven forbid she turns you down! she doesn’t deserve anything for whatever reason she rejects you for. That’s like me saying “this guy deserves to get cheated on by his next girlfriend for not choosing me” its fine to disagree with the reason why someone might turn you down, but doesn’t mean these people deserve “punishment” for it.

What I really don’t get though is why do you care so much in the first place? You claim you aren’t a virgin anyway, you lost your virginity to a woman in a relationship. Deny it all you want but you sound bitter. The funny thing is that you don’t even have a reason to.

 

Yes, there are unfair double standards. I don't agree with them, but it's reality. The majority of women don't want virgins, regardless of what they say. Ask any guy that has been successful with women and they will tell you exactly what I am saying. Not all women, but the majority. If I had to estimate, I'd say 75% easily.

 

Again, you've had sex. How can you properly estimate its 75%? Do you interview older male virgins? Or do you ask women their opinion on the matter?

 

You know, if there are unfair double standards, and you accept them because its reality, then maybe you should accept the virginity one too. See, you can easily brush off the double standards regarding women because they don’t affect you. So lets pretend a man’s life is over if he’s a adult virgin. At least with men, when they’ve had sex and they continue to have sex, they’re great, they’re a stud. Problem solved. However a girl has too much sex then she’s a * * * * . OR she doesn’t have sex then what is she? A prude. Frigid. So fine, lets say men have a problem only when they are virgins. Well women have a problem either way. Either way she risks being judged and called rude names. Cant expect me to sit here and agree with you while you generalize women yet easily disregard their double standards because its reality

 

My attitude isn't the problem. I don't have to bad mouth women. I have never had a problem attracting women. But, I'm not going to sugarcoat the truth because it might offend some people.

 

This isn’t about sugar-coating the “truth” , or what you claim is the truth anyway. You gotta remember that there are women out there who operate in a shallow way, and those who do not. Don’t go lumping them all together because of a few bad apples. But you know, when it comes down to it, even if some women chooses to not want to be with an older virgin, its her choice and she shouldn’t have to be judged for it. There may be lots of reasons for why she may not want to. She could feel uncomfortable being his first, she could be the type that prefers the man to take the lead in bed....these aren’t necessarily bad reasons. People are allowed their preferences whether you agree with them or not.

 

And for someone who has no problem attracting women, you sure do have some negative opinions about them.