At which point does being a virgin become "too weird"?

[Cognitive_Canine]

When a guy can't get laid, his preferences kinda go away.

I know this, because I am a guy in this position.

 

And that's really unattractive.

 

"Oh George, why do you like me?"

 

"Because you were female and you were there"

 

 

 

Reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where the woman George likes tells him she doesn't care about looks when it comes to dating. He didn't want to date her anymore after that.

[In the Dark]

What jonny15 is talking about is when there are lack of opportunities....

 

This happens for either gender.

 

As the saying goes "Beggars can't be choosers".

[Cognitive_Canine]

What jonny15 is talking about is when there are lack of opportunities....

 

This happens for either gender.

 

As the saying goes "Beggars can't be choosers".

 

He's sort of got himself in a vicious cycle though. He's singleness is making him desperate and his desperateness and helping to keep him single.

 

I think a lot of people would be deterred if their SO had low standards for looks and personality.

[Rangafro]

Your a girl! You don't have sexual issues like men do!

 

Do you mean other than the fact many more females than males are raped or otherwise sexually assaulted, and as such can develop great difficulty ever trusting a partner again?

 

I think some of you enjoy believing that all women are shallow bit***s. Bitterness and insecurity shows and is a repelant to EVERYONE.

 

It's not easy for people to actually work on themselves especially when they feel so vulnerable and hopeless. It's simply easier for them to believe the world is out to get them and that everyone else is the one with the problems.

[jonny15]

And that's really unattractive.

 

"Oh George, why do you like me?"

 

"Because you were female and you were there"

 

 

 

Reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where the woman George likes tells him she doesn't care about looks when it comes to dating. He didn't want to date her anymore after that.

 

It's the truth.

 

When all of them so far have said no, you don't expect to get a good looking one.

 

I can't even get the ones I think aren't good looking at all.

 

It's just not reasonable.

[jonny15]

What jonny15 is talking about is when there are lack of opportunities....

 

This happens for either gender.

 

As the saying goes "Beggars can't be choosers".

 

Exaclty.

 

If your being rejected by every girl, your not gonna assume the good looking ones are gonna have you.

 

I know this is the truth.

 

Edit;. Yea...I know I basically just said the same thing in two posts. Sorry.

[jonny15]

He's sort of got himself in a vicious cycle though. He's singleness is making him desperate and his desperateness and helping to keep him single.

 

I think a lot of people would be deterred if their SO had low standards for looks and personality.

 

Low standards is basically about facing reality.

 

I have no business having high standards.

 

I am never gonna get the best looking girls.

 

I am ugly and not rich, and won't be unless I win a jackpot.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Ever think it might just be your personality that is getting in the way?

[obs]

Great post. I've been in the exact position as many of the bitter men posting here (lost my virginity a few months ago). Stop trying to lose your virginity. Instead look to improve yourself, because THAT is the problem. Work on your appearance by working out, getting some well fitting clothes, and improving your diet. Find something that interests you and go out an try it. Improve relationships with those around you (friends, family, etc). Try out online dating and put some work into your photo, profile, and communication skills. Don't go into dates looking for a girlfriend. It's a learning process and everything takes practice, even dating.

 

Sitting around all day pitying yourself for being a virgin will get you absolutely no where. It's simply not attractive.

[jonny15]

Ever think it might just be your personality that is getting in the way?

 

I think my personality in general is ok.

 

Tho it does come accross better online than in person.

 

I've had plenty of people think i'm funny online, when there are only a handful of people who've ever thought I was anything more than an idiot in person.

 

My personality is what it is.

[MD Geist]

Do you mean other than the fact many more females than males are raped or otherwise sexually assaulted, and as such can develop great difficulty ever trusting a partner again?

 

Did you read my link that I posted? if you didn't you should.

 

Women do not suffer from sexual issues like men do. The worst for them is they can't orgasm but that isn't as bad as ED or PE. Those can leave your partner very disapointed.

 

Great post. I've been in the exact position as many of the bitter men posting here (lost my virginity a few months ago). Stop trying to lose your virginity. Instead look to improve yourself, because THAT is the problem. Work on your appearance by working out, getting some well fitting clothes, and improving your diet. Find something that interests you and go out an try it. Improve relationships with those around you (friends, family, etc). Try out online dating and put some work into your photo, profile, and communication skills. Don't go into dates looking for a girlfriend. It's a learning process and everything takes practice, even dating.

 

Sitting around all day pitying yourself for being a virgin will get you absolutely no where. It's simply not attractive.

 

 

 

Okay. I have worked out(And will continue working out for life) I'm always dressed in well fitting cloths, I have no other choice but to live on a certain diet. I'm constantly pursuing things that interests me and I'm always going out and meeting people. I'm also aways trying to improve relationships around me along with building new ones. I tried online dating and recently I quit that.

 

Why isn't it happening for me?. I have been trying for roughly 3/4 years now and its just not happening.

 

Low standards is basically about facing reality.

 

I have no business having high standards.

 

I am never gonna get the best looking girls.

 

I am ugly and not rich, and won't be unless I win a jackpot.

 

That post really says a lot about you. You have self esteem issues and self confidence issues. I mean I'm not the greatest looking man in the world but Id never say I can't get the best looking girls, I have some on my facebook account right now! so thats some type of improvment! But saying your ugly and not rich is a problem because to self admit your ugly is not a good thing.

 

I'm frustrated, upset and discouraged, I could say some very horrible things about myself but I'm not going to because I'm not those things. I'm going to continue to live my life, dress well have a healthy out look on life even if I never have a girlfriend. I can only do what I can do. Thats how everybody should think and you to can get through some difficult times even if its not dating related.

 

I don't understand why other virgins are like this. I'm not. I'm just frustrated beyond belief because I know I shouldn't be a virgin, I know I shouldn't be single, I know for a fact I should have been worn out by now!

[Go Habs Go]

Did you read my link that I posted? if you didn't you should.

 

Women do not suffer from sexual issues like men do. The worst for them is they can't orgasm but that isn't as bad as ED or PE. Those can leave your partner very disapointed.

 

 

Physically, I can agree that men have more problems. Mentally, whole nother story.

[MD Geist]

Physically, I can agree that men have more problems. Mentally, whole nother story.

 

At least she can still have sex.

 

If a guy comes to quickly or can't get it up that is like slamming on the brakes. You aren't going anywhere.](*,)

[ProtestTheHero]

Anyone can lose their virginity in one alcohol driven night. If you don't want to be a virgin anymore, you don't have to be. If you want to dictate the circumstances under which you'll lose it, accept the consequences.

[MD Geist]

Anyone can lose their virginity in one alcohol driven night. If you don't want to be a virgin anymore, you don't have to be. If you want to dictate the circumstances under which you'll lose it, accept the consequences.

 

Yeap very true. In fact you don't have to be drunk, just go out to a club and tell some random girl, you'll be surpized with the reactions you get.

 

 

Ever think it might just be your personality that is getting in the way?

 

It is his mind set. His personality could but its how you think that gets the results.

[Cognitive_Canine]

At least she can still have sex.

 

If a guy comes to quickly or can't get it up that is like slamming on the brakes. You aren't going anywhere.](*,)

 

Except you forget that our whole culture seems to value womens' purity. Women go through horrible mental trauma when it comes to losing virginity. My mother kicked me out and called me horrible, awful names when she found out I lost mine at 20.

 

Many of my girl friends share similar stories.

[Go Habs Go]

In fact you don't have to be drunk, just go out to a club and tell some random girl, you'll be surpized with the reactions you get.

 

 

A lot won't hesitate to sleep with you. Some will sleep with anything. I've never been in that environment and don't ever intend to.

[ProtestTheHero]

Actually I'd recommend you keep alcohol in the equation if you're shy, lol.

 

I know women go through all sorts of different things, but being affected by a label and being affected by an inaction/action is way different.

 

Women: "If I eat another piece of cake they'll think I'm a fat ass, but I really like cake. Why do you judge me so!!?!?!"

 

Guys: "I have no food and I'm dying, but your problem sounds really important."

 

That's how that dynamic works in this circumstance.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Actually I'd recommend you keep alcohol in the equation if you're shy, lol.

 

I know women go through all sorts of different things, but being affected by a label and being affected by an inaction/action is way different.

 

Women: "If I eat another piece of cake they'll think I'm a fat ass, but I really like cake. Why do you judge me so!!?!?!"

 

Guys: "I have no food and I'm dying, but your problem sounds really important."

 

That's how that dynamic works in this circumstance.

 

I disagree.

 

It's more like

 

"If I have sex, people will think there is something wrong with me"

 

"If I don't have sex, people will think there is something wrong with me"

[ProtestTheHero]

I disagree.

 

It's more like

 

"If I have sex, people will think there is something wrong with me"

 

"If I don't have sex, people will think there is something wrong with me"

 

With women the problem is how they're perceived, not a lack of opportunity. Some guys have a lack of opportunity, which is much more problematic than perception. Some dudes let perception inhibit them, but those who try and strike out...different story.

 

I'm not under the impression that the lives of women are a bed of roses, but in terms of access to sex/degree of ease in losing virginity, I don't think it's much of a question who has to put in more effort there.

 

At the same time, I don't think you should resent women for it. Just how it works. Guys are easy.

[MD Geist]

Except you forget that our whole culture seems to value womens' purity. Women go through horrible mental trauma when it comes to losing virginity. My mother kicked me out and called me horrible, awful names when she found out I lost mine at 20.

 

Many of my girl friends share similar stories.

 

 

Thats a whole other issue.

 

Its not like you kept finishing as soon as he entered you and you couldn't go again or you couldn't get ready during foreplay. I think we all do go through some type of mental shock when we lose our virginity, it is such a hyped event that we will always remember our first time no matter how old we get the first one will always stay with us. I don't know about taking someone's virginity though and if a partner will remember being that persons first.

 

Personally dispite my beliefs, I wouldn't be upset of my daughter had sex at an early age, all I can do is pray she made the right choices with who she is with. However if she came was pregant at 20, I wouldn't be very happy about the choice she made but id never kick her out and call her terrible names.

 

 

A lot won't hesitate to sleep with you. Some will sleep with anything. I've never been in that environment and don't ever intend to.

 

 

Those are the ones who raise the biggest flags with me. All I'm thinking is they have an infection.

 

Thats why I like those girls who just aren't going to give it up no matter what. I find that to be a turn on.

[jonny15]

I mean I'm not the greatest looking man in the world but Id never say I can't get the best looking girls, I have some on my facebook account right now! so thats some type of improvment! But saying your ugly and not rich is a problem because to self admit your ugly is not a good thing.

 

I know I am ugly.

 

I've never had a female outside of my grandmother or mother even say anything nice about the way i look.

 

I've never even been called cute before.

 

That and all I need to do is look in the mirror see see how ugly I am.

[jonny15]

Anyone can lose their virginity in one alcohol driven night. If you don't want to be a virgin anymore, you don't have to be. If you want to dictate the circumstances under which you'll lose it, accept the consequences.

 

Alchohol is gross, as is someone who is drunk.

 

So that would never been an option.

[jonny15]

Yeap very true. In fact you don't have to be drunk, just go out to a club and tell some random girl, you'll be surpized with the reactions you get.

 

Like what?

 

Slapped? Drink thrown in your face? Beat down by a bunch of guys?

 

Sex won't be one of the things you get.

[Cognitive_Canine]

With women the problem is how they're perceived, not a lack of opportunity. Some guys have a lack of opportunity, which is much more problematic than perception. Some dudes let perception inhibit them, but those who try and strike out...different story.

 

I'm not under the impression that the lives of women are a bed of roses, but in terms of access to sex/degree of ease in losing virginity, I don't think it's much of a question who has to put in more effort there.

 

At the same time, I don't think you should resent women for it. Just how it works. Guys are easy.

 

While I agree that women definitely have more opportunity to have sex, when almost all of those opportunities end with the person hating themselves due to social pressures, it's not really an opportunity.

 

Every time a man has sex, he ups in value. Every time a woman has sex, her value is lowered. Pretty hard to retain value when you have an extreme want for sex.

 

Now, there is always the option of not caring. But, even though I've only had one partner and I've been with that partner for going on 3 years, I still do not disclose nor like people to think that I'm not a virgin. It's still a struggle due to my social and religious background.