At which point does being a virgin become "too weird"?

[ClarenceRutherford]

Best thing to do is go out and rack up the mileage before you hit that "Certain age"

i have yet to meet a girl who will legittmately want to have a virgin boyfriend while she's not a virgin.

Some girls may be like that, but not all. Many girls are players just like many guys are players or skirt-chasers.

Methinks you'll end up with a woman with a similar temperment to yourslef. A little shy, reserved, not terribly experienced (if at all)....

Bottomline women don't like virgin men at all.

Lie to them if your still one and tell her afterwords. She'll just reject you.

There's a lot of assumptions in your comments.

Geist, all women aren't gonna reject you or think less of you bec. you're a virgin. Some likely would, but many won't.

 

Don't deliberately lie to mislead someone, but please don't announce your virginity early in a relationship. "Don't ask, don't tell" may work here.

You only want the other to see good things about you. Like in a job interview, you don't want the other party to see anything that could potentially keep you from getting that job...

If you're hung-up on your lack of experience, then don't bring it up with women. Others have told you how to handle yourself if the question arises in your dates...

 

Now, if you're in your 30s and 40s and have never dated nor had a girlfriend.... that's a diff. matter entirely. Even then, you could say you dated... if you'd gone on a couple of dates (never second dates)_... just not successfully.

 

***

 

Regarding "racking up the mileage," methinks most people like low-mileage cars, with the new-car scent. Women aren't cars, of course, but most guys have no problem with virgin women. Though not true in all cases, many women wouldn't mind virgin guys.

 

SparklyEyes, SweetPea, CrazyAboutDogs, BriarRose and many other female posters have posted in these threads how they wouldn't belittle a man if they learned he was a virgin.

 

Geist -- many of us were like you in our mid-20s. Unlucky at love, had a hard time finding a compatible dating partner, very lonely, etc., esp.as your late 20s approached.

TestCase hasn't had a great time and has posted how he has some problems around women.

Many women here are in their 40s and never-married...

 

So we're not unsympathetic here... We've been there. Wasn't a virgin myself but lived like one, so my lack of experience had nothing to do with my striking out with girls..

 

 

So please try to chuck this negative view you have of women.

Move on.

 

Try to invest all the time you are frettin' over this mostly irrational worry into going out and meeting women.

[jonny15]

You've described yourself in some of those categories.

 

Yea....cept I don't smell funny.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Yea....cept I don't smell funny.

Good. BO never helps anyone. Don't skip on the showering.

 

The 50 y.o. virgin I referenced, forgot to say he is overweight. Though he's not obese (300 lbs.), I think he's in the past been what most would call heavy. He's lost some weight, though, so that's good.

[ClarenceRutherford]

The inexperience of some of you guys is showing. Walk before you run. Learn to attract women before thinking about whether a potential girlfriend will lose interest in you because you are a virgin or inexperienced. I don't know what the point of some of these posts are.

 

Guys who complain about how women don't want to date inexperienced guys are not getting rejected because of their inexperience. They are getting rejected because they are too shy or too socially awkward.

This is spot-on.

Methinks there's a lot more at play with some of these "never been kissed" guys nearing 30 or later.....

In the first five minutes of a conversation between a man and a woman, a woman isn't going to judge a guy on how many relationships he's been in or how many women he seduced.

 

Instead, they are going to judge him on basic things like appearance, confidence, body language, lifestyle, and social skills.

Bingo. What I've been trying so say in many threads.

 

Virgin guys: don't despair. You can find a love. Me, the socially-awkward guy who had trouble landing dates and the ones he did date, usually didn't work out past the second or third date, I found love. At 30.

So keep hope. You're gonna find a woman who cares for you and lets you express your love sexually. She won't laugh at or belittle you.

Once you can attract women, the inexperience issue will evaporate. A lot of women won't care if a guy is inexperienced as long as she feels chemistry with him. Even if a woman loses interest in a guy because of his inexperience, the guy should be able to replace that woman with somebody else who doesn't care about his inexperience.

More nuggets.

 

There's gold here, Geist and Jonny. Please consider what others are saying.

Many of us were in similar positions at one time in our life so we know what you're going through.

[jonny15]

To fair, most women have made up their mind on a guy very quickly when it comes to attraction.

 

What do they say?

 

A woman has made up their mind wether or not they want to have sex with a guy withint the first 30 seconds of meeting him? lol

[ClarenceRutherford]

For those that think MOST gals/guys look down on older virgins, take a gander at this thread on another board.

 

Do guys generally not like to date women who are virgins and are 20+? link removed

 

The thread, started by a woman, is "locked" and can't be added to (threads close there after 60 days), but some of the responses are interesting --- and are more supportive of the virgin OP than I would have expected.

 

Well I see that being a virgin is a good point because it shows great moral and that you’re waiting for the right guy... So guys will be very attracted to this. Although some guys that are wanting a quick 'shag' will see u are too much off a challenge and be put off....

Im unable to speak for all men but imo it wouldn't turn me off.

 

Being a virgin is not shameful and there is no set age to lose your virginity. i know people who have lost their virginity in a one-night-stand and have regretted it since, as they now wish they had waited, so that their first sexual encounter was special and important.

 

that is their preference and they are entitled to it but they do not speak for the wider spectrum of men. There will be men who are put off by it and other men won't be put off by it. To me it's not even an issue and certainly not an issue to be embarrassed about.

 

I don't mind teaching. Everyone was once a virgin, remember that.

 

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[TD=class: alt2]Originally Posted by lilac23

Does being a virgin who is 20+, turn off guys?

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You are joking right?

 

WHat's wrong with being a 20 something virgin?

 

Granted a 21 year old virgin is way better than a 29 year old virgin, but it's all good.

 

It's like a car.

You always prefer brand new, but if you buy used you want as few miles on the counter as possible.

 

 

 

Something to consider. There's nothing necessarily wrong with being a virgin, at any age.

[In the Dark]

If a female is a virgin it's no deal breaker personally.

In fact I think it can be positive for some men.

It can ease insecurities of themselves being bad in bed because they know the woman has not had experience.

The guys in the middle east absolutely love it but that another story.

 

For me, I would like to know so I don't get too rough and also so I don't freak out if I see blood on the bed sheets.

[ClarenceRutherford]

If a female is a virgin it's no deal breaker personally.

In fact I think it can be positive for some men.

It can ease insecurities of themselves being bad in bed because they know the woman has not had experience.

The guys in the middle east absolutely love it but that another story.

 

For me, I would like to know so I don't get too rough and also so I don't freak out if I see blood on the bed sheets.

Yes, there are the stains...

Methinks most guys get only one chance in life where they "devirginize" a woman, particularly if the guy is himself a virgin, as was my case @17. That time and the other 2-3 times with her really weren't that great ..... Wasn't bec. of her, but the awkwardness of having sex at that age and the heavy guilt I know we both felt -- and I wasn't necessarily of any faith then (the sex was my idea) though she was Catholic.

 

Of course, some guys in that thread said, "No way.... Don't want to waste time with a virgin woman..."

 

A woman posted how she once dated a youth pastor and how it became frustrating for her as once they got to a certain point on the couch, bec. of his religious convictions, he wouldn't go farther...

(That scenario could work both ways, a guy pressuring a virgin gal who didn't feel right yet, for religious or other reasons...)

That impatience shows more about that partner's understanding and "maturity" than the other's stance.

 

If I was in such a position, while I physically would likely want to have sex with someone I was dating (and had feelings for), honestly, I wouldn't pressure her if she didn't feel it was the right time.

Or, to put it better, would back-off any moves if I gauged she wasn't comfortable...

 

Truly wanted a relationship more than a sexual experience.

The woman I married -- I didn't make any sexual moves on her until 4 mos. into our relationship. She wasn't a virgin but had ltd. experience -- a former fiance-- like me.

Honestly, just wanted to do some "exploring" by unbuttoning her shirt... which yes, I'll admit, hoped eventually could lead to LM... (Am a guy after all...

Surprisingly, she wanted me to "skip" that stuff (things I'd done with some other women) and go...

 

So guys... you may meet a woman who's a virgin or has some pent-up desire.....

[ClarenceRutherford]

For those that think MOST gals/guys look down on older virgins, take a gander at this thread on another board.

 

Do guys generally not like to date women who are virgins and are 20+? link removed

 

The thread, started by a woman, is "locked" and can't be added to (threads close there after 60 days), but some of the responses are interesting --- and are more supportive of the virgin OP than I would have expected.

 

As I can't edit that post, want to add this other post from a woman who lost her virgnity in her late 20s...

 

 

link removed

 

Originally Posted by miss_28

"..........I lost mine at 27. And i'm an atheist (religion wasn't a factor), i'm attractive, confident, outgoing... you get the picture. I didn't wait because of any specific reason, it was always because the guys i dated would make a big deal about it when they would found out - that level of insecurity on their part in turn would turn me off.

 

And you know what? i lost my virginity to a really great guy... and we had great sex... despite me having no experience with other men... i liked how it played out, i didn't feel like i was being used to learn new stuff or to teach something to someone.

 

Sex is not rocket science, it is pretty easy actually, if you go with what feels good for you and your partner and don't stress about it it'll be good, even the first time. Besides, i've been told that its nice for some guys to be with some one who isn't fast and loose (in more ways than one).

 

Another thing, I don't like when a guy has too much experience, it's intimidating, they may have an std, and it doesn't guarantee they'll be good in bed - just like being a virgin doesn't mean the sex will be bad either. it's all in how you choose to look at it.

 

My advice, do not worry about being a virgin, just be confident and relaxed, and eventually, you'll meet someone who is genuinely into you and perfectly fine with you being a virgin...

....and if he (or she) can't handle it, it really is their problem. Just don't try to loose your virginity just for the sake of loosing it... ......"

[ClarenceRutherford]

Have posted these thoughts elsewhere, on this board and others, but want to summarize my feelings as I've recently changed my views on this whole thing about having sex before marriage.

 

Have been going round and round with a couple of virgin men in their late 20s who haven't even kissed a girl yet....

They're scared most women will LAUGH at them and intimidate them if they discover they're virgins.

 

Thread: Virgin Poll...Who's still a virgin?

 

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age.

 

At 26-27, I dated a couple of 29 and 30 y.o. virgin women and knew guys who remained virgins into their early 30s.

 

I had limited sexual experience before I met my future wife at 30:

------3-4X in HS at 17-18 with same girl

------2 separate encounters 25-26, but lived like a virgin (mostly by choice and lack of opportunity) through most of my 20s.

 

So..... bec. I had sex (too early) at 17, that somehow makes me better than a 26 or 36 y.o. guy or gal who hasn't?

 

Me having the "I've Had Sex" membership card makes me a better dating prospect?

 

Yes, I had sex but didn't really know anything about treating women well in bed.

Didn't really learn that until recently, thanks to some web forums and Christian marital sex books.

It was the "quick" type, just in-and-out, a 5 min. man.

Was SEX, not Love Making, where you put your heart and soul into the other person.

There is a big difference.

 

A woman who may have had sex a couple of times in her 20s and 30s outside of marriage, that doesn't make her less worthy as a woman, but human.

 

In my early 20s, I wanted a "godly, Christian virgin woman...." Dropped that "requirement" as I got further into my 20s as a woman can be none of those and still be worthy as a life partner.

13 y.o.s now have sex.

So they're better than someone at 28 or 38 whose been responsible (no chance of STDs or pregnancy) and hasn't given themselves to someone else yet?

 

Virgins aren't necessarily better than non-virgins.

Those who have had sex aren't automatically superior to the virgins.

 

It's all a matter of opportunities and life choices .... and the kind of person one is.