rs.dallaire Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Not if it's not a disguise. If it's not a disguise then you're in the same league! Link to comment
toshiba Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 You may like Perky Blonde - and another finds her tacky and bland. I don't mean to quibble here, but when we refer to women as blondes or brunettes, we add to the objectification of women. Link to comment
toshiba Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 If it's not a disguise then you're in the same league! Not by your definition. You defined league as the same attractiveness level. Someone can be less attractive physically but in their mind, they can feel just as attractive as their partner. Link to comment
capbit Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I don't mean to quibble here, but when we refer to women as blondes or brunettes, we add to the objectification of women. It sounds more like a classification to me. Hair color, eye color, height, weight. Just classifications, look on your drivers license Link to comment
toshiba Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 It sounds more like a classification to me. Hair color, eye color, height, weight. Just classifications, look on your drivers license So why don't we refer to men that way then? Link to comment
capbit Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 So why don't we refer to men that way then? I've heard plenty girls say, "I think that blonde guy over there is cute" or something similar. Link to comment
capbit Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 But I get what you're saying, it can be if you put it that way. Link to comment
rs.dallaire Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Not by your definition. You defined league as the same attractiveness level. Someone can be less attractive physically but in their mind, they can feel just as attractive as their partner. You forget that I previously defined attraction by a set of various criteria, and physical attractiveness being one of them. I am humble enough to state that most of the women I have dated were probably more physically attractive than me. I'm an average looking guy but women are attracted to me for a number of reasons. Without my conversational skills and social status, I am not half the man that I am. Take Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni for example. Had he not been the President of France, do you think Carla would've been interested in him? No, she would've been out of his league. Link to comment
SadAsianMale Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Well most men are visual by nature, we can't help it. Not every guy is looks obsessed but it sure does help in wanting to date a woman. One of the sad things I find is whenever a male poster on Eforums complains about never having been on a date they seem obsessed with dating only 'Pretty' females. Now I don't want to judge a person's appearance, but isn't that ironic? A male who never had a date or considers himself ugly, but wants to date a 'Hot' chick? Is that supposed to validate his self-esteem? Or is he just as shallow as he is ranting females are? But women can just be as shallow in terms of monetary worth. Say for example I just won one of the biggest powerballs ever and my face and name would be plastered all over the nation. I WOULD NOT HAVE TROUBLE FINDING A DATE! GUARANTEED! Link to comment
SadAsianMale Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 What are talking about? I don't know a single woman who can't get a man, and I know some fat women... All this talk about how men are obsessed with looks... Just walk down the street one day and look at all the women who don't match the conventional idea of physical attractiveness and they have husbands/boyfriends etc... So tell me, how does that fit with your idea of men? I'm guessing you don't know a lot of women. Some of my female co-workers have been single for the longest time, and to me the only thing standing in their way of finding a man is simply their weight. They are not simply overweight, but obese. These two single co-workers have never had a BF during my employment there, which is over 12 years. They are both in their mid-forties and the clock is ticking on them. However I do know one co-worker in her thirties who just had one serious bf that is going to lead to marriage. She is obese and no male ever paid attention to her at work. Luckily she found a male who wants to spend his life with her. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 of course we want hot girls who wants a 400 pound girl named bubba anyways lol Link to comment
toshiba Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 These two single co-workers have never had a BF during my employment there, which is over 12 years. They are both in their mid-forties and the clock is ticking on them. Ok, I've just gotta ask...why is the clock ticking on them? However I do know one co-worker in her thirties who just had one serious bf that is going to lead to marriage. She is obese and no male ever paid attention to her at work. Luckily she found a male who wants to spend his life with her. Luckily? What is he was the one more interested in marriage than she was? Maybe he's someone who doesn't have much going for him and he's the lucky one to have found such a caring, sweet woman. Link to comment
servedcold Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Great thread, lots of interesting perspective. I'm with the corvidae camp on this issue. IMO, women value looks just as much or more than men, men are just more straightforward about it. I see many more couples with a pairing of a less attractive woman and a more attractive man than vice versa, many many more actually. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Great thread, lots of interesting perspective. I'm with the corvidae camp on this issue. IMO, women value looks just as much or more than men, men are just more straightforward about it. I see many more couples with a pairing of a less attractive woman and a more attractive man than vice versa, many many more actually. i strongly disagree. Why aren't there any threads on this forum of women complaining that their man has let himself go? My man has put on 30lbs since I met him - and he wasn't thin to begin with. You don't see me complaning. In fact, other than concerns for his health, I'm just as happy with him at this size. Link to comment
Cimmie Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Even the use of the word 'hot' indicates what the OP is complaining about. What's 'hot'? What happened to beautiful, pretty or attractive? 'Hot' is what you say about porn actresses. I heard a debate about young women comparing notes who discovered that most young heterosexual men expect to come in their partner's faces. Apparently they think that is perfectly normal, and the reason they think that is perfectly normal is because they spend their spare time watching porn. Sex has nothing to do with emotional intimacy or loving in a culture that is saturated with pornography. I agree that a lot of young men are shallow and arrogant. I think women need to start raising their standards too though. Link to comment
Superfreak Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Also, my husband has suggested several times that we put our baby on a diet. I have to get doctors and nurses to tell him that breastfed babies are more healthy when they're nice and chubby, that you can't put a baby on a diet, and that it doesn't mean she'll have weight problems later in life. How freaky is that? The little girl is only 9 months old and already the men in her life are wanting her to be thin! Why do men have this thin obsession? I don't mean to be rude, but if your husband is telling you that you need to dye your hair blonde to be attractive as you mentioned in another post, and he's wanting to put his baby on a DIET when she's only a few months old ....well let's just say that it's pretty obvious why your perception of men are so coloured, I can't think of even my worst guy friends being that crass. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I don't mean to be rude, but if your husband is telling you that you need to dye your hair blonde to be attractive as you mentioned in another post, and he's wanting to put his baby on a DIET when she's only a few months old ....well let's just say that it's pretty obvious why your perception of men are so coloured, I can't think of even my worst guy friends being that crass. No offense taken. Thank you for your honesty. Link to comment
servedcold Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 i strongly disagree. Why aren't there any threads on this forum of women complaining that their man has let himself go? Because women will bluntly tell a man her issues with his appearance, and feel little need to vent or seek advice, and men agonize over the same issue because this area is a much more delicate subject for a man to broach with a woman. The woman I'm dating prescribed exactly what I am to wear to a party tonight, down to the color of the shirt, based on her inspection of my closet, lolz, no prob, it's her friends, her party. If I reciprocated, she would inevitably take it as a personal insult, that the clothes other than what I wanted her to wear were ugly or not flattering. I have no issues with her appearance or dress, but if I did, I might have to start a thread here to get advice on how to delicately approach the topic... Link to comment
rs.dallaire Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Because women will bluntly tell a man her issues with his apperance, and feel little need to vent or seek advice, and men agonize over the same issue because this area is a much more delicate subject for a man to broach with a woman. The woman I'm dating prescribed exactly what I am to wear to a party tonight, down to the color of the shirt, based on her inspection of my closet, lolz, no prob, it's her friends, her party. If I reciprocated, she would inevitably take it as a personal insult, that the clothes other than what I wanted her to wear were ugly or not flattering. I have no issues with her appearance or dress, but if I did, I might have to start a thread here to get advice on how to delicately approach the topic... I once got dumped because of this... Link to comment
corvidae Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I honestly don't think women have anything to complain about. Men are MUCH less fussy and much more forgiving than women are. Women are much more demanding and selective than men. Women get dates and get into relationships much easier than men do. As for the fat question...well, my brother starting to get a bit of a stomach and I am pushing him to do more exercise because being overweight unhealthy. My honest feeling is there isn't any good reason to be fat. Even overeating a small amount can lead to obesity over a long period of time which in turn leads to many health complications later in life. If you care about someone you should push them to take care of themselves. Lastly, I maintain that this notion that men are obsessed with looks and being skinny is a myth. A colleague of mine called Carly is pretty overweight and she's dated a lot of guys in the office because she makes the effort. Women think looks matter a lot but a lot of women are popular with men because they have the right attitude and looks are secondary. I can cite a dozen examples from my own experiences to support this. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Women get dates and get into relationships much easier than men do. What do you mean? Do you mean that men have to do the pursuing? That has more to do with societal norms than superficialities. Link to comment
Pegasus Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 It's the same for both male and female. Males just don't have a need to hide it. I like good looking girls and there is no reason to hide it - I'm a good looking and don't think I would have to settle for less. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Men who truly believe women have it easier- and resent that - have the answer to why they are having problems finding a relationship. Link to comment
corvidae Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Gee, I wonder who that's directed at. I think you'd need to meet me before you make those kinds of judgements. Men who truly believe women have it easier- and resent that - have the answer to why they are having problems finding a relationship. Link to comment
corvidae Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I'm talking about the fact that almost all threads by people that are over 25 and have never had a relationship are by men. I'm talking about the fact that the only people I know that have never had partners are men. I'm talking about the fact that I don't know any women, regardless of their appearance, who can't get into relationships. Am I a bit resentful? Yes. But then a lot of the women on this thread seem to have resentment towards men and they have a hell of a lot less justification than I do. What do you mean? Do you mean that men have to do the pursuing? That has more to do with societal norms than superficialities. Link to comment
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