Always getting hit on guys I'm not attracted to.

[Gratsy]

I know what you mean. But I don't care if a guy with a boring personality tries to flirt with me. I have enough confidence about my personality to know that he doesn't measure up and is probably unaware of it. But when it comes to looks, its a different thing...maybe its an insecurity but if ugly guys show interest it makes me question myself...am I ugly? Is that why ugly guys are hitting on me? Why are the ugly guys hitting on meeeee? lol

[Leonhart]

I guess I should complain because, as an ugly man, I am not well regarded among the female genus. But I'm not. I don't care.

 

I'm perfectly okay with others not being attracted to me. Part of human nature and our design. Nothing more.

 

Anyone who takes another flawed human being's preferences to heart is in for a rough, rough ride.

[JadedStar]

I'll never quite understand how a person wouldn't be flattered when a man flirts with her even if he is not really up to par for her in appearance. You don't have to date him - for me, it is a small ego boost and I feel better to be nice to someone. Makes my day go by better.

 

I guess maybe if you don't know how to harmlessly flirt or be nice to a guy without giving him the wrong impression this might be a bad thing, but if an ugly guy were to hit on me I don't find it offensive at all. I find it nice that he took an interest.

 

People are people and I try to smile nicely at everyone I meet when I am out, no matter what they look like. And if they are being a bit flirtatious and I am not interested i just give them some cue and let them know without being rude. I would be as nice but not anymore nice to someone good looking who hit on me as someone not so good looking. Now if I were single and actually interested then of course I'll give the ones I find attractive more of my time.

[someguy88]

I sort of agree with galaxy. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FLIRT with a guy I'm attracted to. I see a lot of attractive guys at the gym, but I never know what to say. If he starts the conversation, then everything is good... but if it's up to me to say something...I just sip on my water and go to the next machine IN HOPE he'll approach me ...it never happens. Haha, what am I really supposed to say at the gym?

"You look mighty sculpted"

"Nice shoes"

"All set to pump some iron?"

I'm too shy to even smile at the guy I'm attracted to.

 

hahaha are you good looking? I've found that good looking women on average don't know how to flirt as well as....well, less good looking women. Just the other day I was talking to my close woman friend about flirting and she told me she didn't know how. She's a gorgeous girl, so I wasn't surprised at all. I mean, why would she need to learn how to flirt when she's got guys bending over backwards for her anyway? I think the same applies for men too.

 

Basically, if you're good looking you don't need to flirt. If you're ugly, pick up some books. lol

[IronHorse]

Just someone that I'm attracted to and have a great personality. The types that always come on to me just don't excite me personality wise or physically. They're basically just bland. I would like to attract a man that's fun and handsome. It's the same way on the internet, I may hit a guy I'm really feeling up with a response and he never responses, but the guy I have no complete interest in hits me with a message. I really can't help who I'm attracted to but it would be nice to find a guy I TRULY like. It's frustrating...

 

How do you know their bland what from a silly internet photo? Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with one of them or do you just look at the photo and go delete?

 

 

 

 

^^I had read some of your thread on being hit on by old guys as well. I would just ignore it. At least you know you're desired and you have the choice to say no There's really nothing you can do to repel them, you know?

 

Yea, it's far better than hitting on someone and never getting a yes, then you know your not desired at all...

[Gratsy]

I get guys who look like Newman and George from Seinfeld hit on me. It's not much of a confidence booster. I'm doomed.

 

ROFL...poor you. Its probably just the place you work though.

[Leonhart]

I get guys who look like Newman and George from Seinfeld hit on me. It's not much of a confidence booster. I'm doomed.

 

At least you get male interest. Don't complain. It's better than nothing.

 

They could be great guys. Give them a chance!

[Manco]

It's the same way with girls. You always wonder why the girls you are interested in are not interested in you. Makes you question your looks and other things. In reality though, if girls want cute guys then they should try and make the approach also... A lot of really fit/hot guys are also really shy.

 

I'm a fairly fit and descent looking guy (thats me in the avatar; don't mean to be cocky or anything really, just getting a point accross) but I question my looks and such all the time if I don't get the people I'm interested in. It would be better than heaven to have a hot girl talk to me for once instead of me having to do it all the time. If you are actually reasonably attractive (never mind hot) then attractive guys will really appreciate you talking to them. Trust me, THEY WILL NEVER BE RUDE TO YOU OR REJECT YOU IF YOU ARE GOOD LOOKING. But, you really have to be descent looking. A little heavy and all that stuff doesnt count. For girls, the criteria is quite simple: Normal face and THIN. Thats it. Actually, girls that are too hot aren't that great for long term anyways, and most intelligent guys know it (clearly there are exceptions).

 

Good luck, hope you never have to settle and find the perfect guy for you.

[someguy88]

Nope, he doesn't have a gift, he has a lot of growing up to do. He has to learn that girls don't like a guy who treats their friends badly. He also needs to learn that girls don't like to be made into a spectator sport. WR

 

I think he meant that the guy has the gift of super confidence, or at least he has the "gift" to overcome his own insecurities and approach women that are so called "out of his league".

 

Anyway, so what if some guys are just into looks? It's their life and they can pursue it however they want to.

 

Also, where did it say that he was treating his friends badly?

[AngelEyez]

So what are some good liners when at the gym and I see a cute guy? I'll do it tomorrow and see if I get rejected. Lol

[doyathink]

I would think any person who has any integrity, would appreciate being noticed period. Some of the posts here are so insulting! Beauty goes beyond skin deep! Have you ever dated a guy who has it all...and knows it? I don't think I could...or would date someone just for their outer appearance.

That makes no sense at all to me.

[afc_2_dj]

I'm sorry you're offended, but I'm just being honest rather than trying to be overly PC

By the way, my friend was extremely polite even though the guy was very rude and immature...

 

Ok, apologies, I didn't intend it to be a stab at you or you friend. And I agree, some guys just don't have manners or class.

 

I was lashing out more at the situation. I am getting angered at the hypocrisy of postings, one thread encouraging guys then bashing ugly guys? Why not just post on all looks threads "guys if you are not good-looking don't approach girls cos they don't want to talk to you" and end it?

 

It's not being shallow. It's having preferences/standards. Do you not have standards in the type of woman you want? I'm sure you wouldn't welcome a huge 4'5" woman with a bowl cut and thick spectacles with wide arms. Or would you?

 

You're right on standards. The thing is you can't say "well i'm hot, and guys hit on me, but i only want the super-good-looking guys not the normal good-looking guys". Thats fine if thats your preference, but you can't really justify crying about it if you do have plenty of choices? And I am not saying go for the bottom of the barrel, but I cannot believe that if you are semi-attractive that not one reasonable looking guy hits on you?

 

Guys too, come on. Some guys post "well I dated an HB10 but she left me for someone better looking, woe is me, i'll never get a girl cos of my looks" .... uhhh .. no .. if you got a date you are already very good-looking, this thread proves that!!

 

I also have standards, but am happy with girls from average jane through to hot [though by average I mean normal shape for a humen being, not average for a human that just consumed 500 BigMacs], I do find my "standards" are wider than average, but I think thats the point. I don't get 6's let alone 10's, I think that gives me more right to exclaim I can't get a girl cos of looks.

[HotCoko]

I would think any person who has any integrity, would appreciate being noticed period. Some of the posts here are so insulting! Beauty goes beyond skin deep! Have you ever dated a guy who has it all...and knows it? I don't think I could...or would date someone just for their outer appearance.

That makes no sense at all to me.

 

I do appreciate being noticed and it is flattering. However, it's a little disappointing when the guy who comes up to you is someone you're not really feeling at all. I'm not mean to these guys at all, I tell them politely that I'm not interested. Also I'm not looking for some supermodel or anything, he doesn't have to be all of that. All I'm just asking is for someone I'm feeling on a physical and emotional level, that's all. Some people think it's shallow because you're not giving these guys a chance but I'm not about to date someone who I don't like, it's wrong to do that to them knowing that your feelings aren't mutual.

 

People fail to realize this, in order for something more to happen, there has to be some kind of physical attraction there to begin with.

[Gratsy]

random: I'm bored with most men, even if they're attractive. I don't date a lot anymore, to me its quality over quantity these days.

[Lucy_lou]

I was with her once when an ugly guy hit on her...it was pathetic. He was a good 6 inches shorter than her, extra padding in the waist...and acne. He acted so confident, but ANYBODY could see he had no chance with her...anybody but him, that is.

 

I laughed when I saw this because it's so true. It's common for ugly old guys to hit on beautiful young women. And these guys often ONLY hit on beutiful young women. And are just as judgemental about women's appearances. (women who are more at their level) It goes back to the days when ugly men could get a beautiful young woman easily because women were so powerless in society that their priority was to prostitute themselves into marriage, just to survive. It was about money, not about physical attraction. Those days are (mostly) gone, but the culture of ugly old men hitting on beautiful women continues.

 

I read a post on here where the person said in Poland, there are a lot of beautiful young women together with ugly old men. I don't know much about Poland, but if its anything like Russia, the women there still see themselves as whores who need a man as a breadwinner, so they're not picky.It's not about love it's about need. (aka mail order brides)

 

I agree with the other above poster (sorry, I lost track of your post) who said that not so good looking people are better flirts than good looking people. It's true. I'm good looking, and I've noticed this too. I'm getting better at flirting though (not trying).

 

But the thing is, and I'd like advice on this too (sorry to hijack the thread here), I can't handle if I flirt with someone, if they then take an interest. I recently flirted (by accident, I was just having fun and not thinking) with this guy who works in a shop I pass frequently, and now that I think about it, I think I would like to get to know him, but now because he took the flirting as interest, he's started noticing me around, and smiling and acknowledging me more than I he used to. I'm a bit uncomfortable now. I don't feel like I can approach him so easily now that I know that he notices me. I prefer to flirt with him from the comfort of knowing he just sees me as another customer. I'd like to talk to him and start up some banter, but now it's just all contaminated with all this extra special interest. It's just loaded now and I can't be comfortable. Sorry this is way off topic.

[Manco]

So what are some good liners when at the gym and I see a cute guy? I'll do it tomorrow and see if I get rejected. Lol

 

Sorry for the late responce, just got around to the forum right now.

 

In my honest opinion, nothing is really a good/bad line as long as you don't start saying something really creepy. Ther best way, is to go to the area where he's working out and if a machine is available then fumble with it for 5 seconds and ask him to help you. Then say something about how stuff here never works or how you this gym lacks some kind of equipment etc...Very easy.

 

Just make sure you body language says I wan't to talk to you. Thats very easy. Just smile a lot and laugh at his jokes, even if the're not that funny.

[ghost69]

talk to both girls. i always include the whole party. never fails.

[Leonhart]

I would think any person who has any integrity, would appreciate being noticed period. Some of the posts here are so insulting! Beauty goes beyond skin deep! Have you ever dated a guy who has it all...and knows it? I don't think I could...or would date someone just for their outer appearance.

That makes no sense at all to me.

 

Amazing post.

 

People need to be a little kinder to each other.

 

Let's not treat people we're not drawn to physically as though they have leprosy or something.

[JadedStar]

Amazing post.

 

People need to be a little kinder to each other.

 

Let's not treat people we're not drawn to physically as though they have leprosy or something.

 

I also totally agreed with DYT's post. I have always seen it as flattery and a little kindness can really make a guy's day.

 

hotkoko no one is saying you need to flirt back or go out with these guys. She is just saying that it is a kind thing to treat others with kindness and perhaps just see it as flattery that they thought you were an attractive lady.

 

Men have it MUCH harder than women with dating. They are expected to be the aggressor...and how many times do we tell men here to take that risk if he fancies someone? They have to risk rejection but it takes a lot of guts for them to approach. If they are not being trashy it is a nice thing to be nice about it if you let them down and won't crush their self esteem quite so badly.

[Raiden]

If they don't spark your interest, then they don't spark you interest. It's called "chemistry" (sic).

 

There is little point entertaining someone you're not attracted to. This only leads to hurt.

[Leonhart]

If they don't spark your interest, then they don't spark you interest. It's called "chemistry" (sic).

 

There is little point entertaining someone you're not attracted to. This only leads to hurt.

 

Yes, if the relationship is built on sex, and that its main focus. If not, it shouldn't really matter what they look like.

 

That's being shallow. There is so much more to relationships than looks.

 

Chemistry can be non-physical as well.

[Raiden]

Yes, if the relationship is built on sex, and that its main focus. If not, it shouldn't really matter what they look like.

 

That's being shallow. There is so much more to relationships than looks.

 

Chemistry can be non-physical as well.

 

I disagree profoundly.

 

I would not date a girl I didn't find physically attractive. Just me. Thus, the chances of me entering a long-term relationship with her would be zero.

[Leonhart]

I disagree profoundly.

 

I would not date a girl I didn't find physically attractive. Just me. Thus, the chances of me entering a long-term relationship with her would be zero.

 

Hmm, why not? Just curious.

[real2]

The way I see it is these guys are taking the chance to ask/flirt with a girl, something this forum shows a rarity in sometimes

 

But a common re-occurring theme seems to be attractiveness, and guys feeling like anti-models.

[poloplayer]

she says it isn't about the girl...all guys think that if they say the right thing they might have a chance with ANY girl.

 

It's a numbers game. If I hit on 100 girls, 90 may reject my advances, but 10 will accept them. Thus, I've gotten way more girls than the guy who has his eye set on one girl, really works on winning her over, but she never really like him in that way, whereas I've picked up 10 numbers in a relatively quick amount of time.

 

He was a good 6 inches shorter than her, extra padding in the waist...and acne. He acted so confident, but ANYBODY could see he had no chance with her...anybody but him, that is.

 

My mom has a good 6 inches on my dad, and my dad *thinks* he is Roger Moore (old Bond actor) - LOL. My dad is half bald, with a little extra padding.

 

By the way, being a model doesn't make her a catch.

 

Why are you knocking this guys confidence? Confidence is attractive, no matter how they physically look. I know quite a few guys who would be considered physically on the uglier side but are way more confident than the douche of a pretty boy riding the tide of his looks but nothing else - they are not confident, they are vain.

 

What are you looking for?