Some good reasons for going NC

[CrapAtNC]

Glad you find it useful.

 

I just added another couple (good ones, I think).

[selkie]

Now if there is any possibility of your ex wanting you back then by going NC you are increasing your chances of a reconciliation ten fold.

 

And since I KNOW for a fact my ex wants me back, NC is my smartest Chess move.

I feel bad for him cause I can just see going NUTS without any contact over the Holidays.

But it's for the best.

The only way we can be happily together again is for him to really face how much he misses me.

[bustertypsy]

Selkie,I would not consider NC a good idea if your ex is trying to get you back and you are ignoring him!?!? Is this the case? If it's not, don't bother with the rest of this post....lol

Nc is to help you heal after a split from your ex.It can also help to awaken your ex and let him know what he threw away.

If you hoped and prayed that he would come back to you then your prayers have been answered and I am delighted for you.

Now if you decide to make things awkward for him by continueing NC, then things will become very complicated.What next,he goes away,then you chase him?

By all means don't fall into his arms in a flash,but at least move things forward.I get the feeling that you want to be with him,so as good as it feels having him sucking up to you,play the "game" with tact and you'll have him eating out of your hand.

Keep us posted.

[Dazla]

And since I KNOW for a fact my ex wants me back, NC is my smartest Chess move.

I feel bad for him cause I can just see going NUTS without any contact over the Holidays.

But it's for the best.

The only way we can be happily together again is for him to really face how much he misses me.

 

and thats NC in a nutshell. My ex spent 4 months telling me she wanted to be single, and go enjoy herself go out with other guys..etc. The last txt message she sent me was "Leave me, my friends and my family the f*** alone"

 

In comes NC..10 days later shes crying on the phone saying she misses me and wants to be with me..and she tells me she still loves me which I hadnt heard in 5 months!. A month later..well shes seeing one of her friends for a bit of fun. Didnt want to tell me as she still wanted me in her life.

 

Commence NC. On day 8 so far and getting on! We will see what the future holds

[CrapAtNC]

NC works, if you can do it. I can't - see my username.

 

I have to leave the country and go live in the jungle with no phone or email for three months just to help me maintain NC. I go next month.

 

Reason number whatever: NC means you might have to take a three-month vacation!

[princess_summer_blue84]

what does NC mean?

[CrapAtNC]

what does NC mean?

 

New Clothes.

 

If you want your ex back, you have to move on, make yourself more attractive, pamper yourself - we call that New Clothes.

 

Some people stay in New Clothes for a month or more - sometimes a year or so; others can't stay in New Clothes any more than three days before they have to Make Clothes with the ex. Also, you can wear Less (or Little) Clothes, which always helps.

 

I'm going to Guatemala for my New Clothes.

[bustertypsy]

Ha ha,now you have military-girlfriend completely confused.I am wearing my New Clothes for 31 days,and they are looking better every day.I am looking forward to wearing them for at least another month.I hope you find lots of New Clothes in Guatemala

[purplekangaroo]

Ha! I love the New Clothes or No Clothes or Little Clothes. It makes all these acronyms that are so overused on this forum somewhat less sinister.

 

I am sure that everyone's New Clothes, especially if purchased in foreign countries, are totally hot.

[CrapAtNC]

I'm thinking of going No Clothes soon ...

[selkie]

New Clothes.

 

If you want your ex back, you have to move on, make yourself more attractive, pamper yourself - we call that New Clothes.

 

Some people stay in New Clothes for a month or more - sometimes a year or so; others can't stay in New Clothes any more than three days before they have to Make Clothes with the ex. Also, you can wear Less (or Little) Clothes, which always helps.

 

I'm going to Guatemala for my New Clothes.

 

 

Cool, Im not the only smart@ss around here.

[Crows]

I go by the theory.. No contact from me... if they want to talk, fine.

[bustertypsy]

Way to go crow,let them know you love them,then step right back.No Contact,leave them be.Let them wallow in their own minds and if they feel they did the wrong thing,then let them come knocking on your door.Very important in my book though,is don't punish them.The ball doesn't suddenly end up in your court.Think of it more like "deuce",where you both come together equally,to try and sort out your lives together.

[Izzie74]

Thank you for this post. I've been lurking for a short time, but this is my first post. I was recently told by my BF of nearly four years that he doesn't want to be with anyone, including me. I suppose there hasn't been an "official" breakup, since I still have his house key and he still has a lot of my things in his apartment. However, things have been sliding downhill for several months now.. In any case, I think this is the right thing for me to do, because he did say that he hasn't had the time to heal, and if I want to salvage our relationship, we need to start from nothing. I can't think of a better way to accomplish those things than to go NC.

 

I would like nothing more than to focus on myself for a while, since I am graduating from college in a month, then moving out of my parents' house (this dependence on them is a huge part of our problems), and starting a new job. The sadness is still very fresh for me, though. I could tell my story of heartache, but it's been told before much more eloquently than I could manage. I am going to try it, because I don't want to be sad any more. I want to take care of myself like I haven't for a long time, and start to see this situation from a fresh perspective. I want this relationship to work, but I need to remember that wanting something, no matter how intensely, won't make it happen.

 

Thanks again.

[bustertypsy]

Izzie,what a lovely and well written post.

I think you have your head screwed on the right way.

You are thinking about your needs,instead of chasing after his.He needs time??

Give it to him! Don't fight it,just look after number 1...YOU!

I know you want it to work.By stepping back and giving time to both of you is the most positive step to take.

Concentrate as best you can on your studies and let the other matters sort themselves out.Time truly, gives you both time to think,to think clearly and logically.You will do the right thing

[yelwed]

Is it best to tell your ex how you feel and that you are going NC or do you just go NC and don't tell them.

 

Im friends with an ex but I want more than that and he doesn't know what he wants. I think it is best for me to go NC to move on but I want to know do u tell them what you are about to do or do u just go NC?

[not my real name]

I'm curious about this too. I last saw him on Monday night and I was my usual idiot breakup self. In a week or two he will be going back overseas for about a month and I said to him: I will try not to contact you now. Give me a call when you get back if you like. Seeya.

 

I don't know if that was the best way, or to just go cold turkey without even letting him know. I really shouldn't have said "I will try" because in hindsight it sounds weak and gives out a different message to the one of strength that I am hoping to put forward. It kills me that when he goes back over to where he is working that he will be free to do what he wants and see his little friend he has made over there. It kills me that I will have no idea what he is up to and no way of knowing. And it kills me even further that really, there is nothing I can do because it is now officially none of my business.

[CreoUCLA]

I told my ex, "Honestly, we both need to move on. I wish you my love, and all the best in your new relationship!" in an e-mail as she hasn't had the courage/inclination to call me. Then I went NC (4 days ago) and intend to stick to it. She already replied, trying to act confused/hold on, but I am gone...

 

-Mike-

[holden]

I told my ex, "Honestly, we both need to move on. I wish you my love, and all the best in your new relationship!" in an e-mail as she hasn't had the courage/inclination to call me. Then I went NC (4 days ago) and intend to stick to it. She already replied, trying to act confused/hold on, but I am gone...

 

-Mike-

 

She Sounds like a Scarlet,

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn"

cheers! - FB

[CreoUCLA]

She Sounds like a Scarlet,

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn"

cheers! - FB

 

Oh, most definitely... I gave, gave, gave and she just took. I reached my tipping point last week after she told me how she has the "upper hand" and thinks I will jump at the chance to get back with her, and describing in detail her feelings for the new guy. Now she says, "I don't know what you mean by 'move on.'" *snicker*

 

She'll now see how life is like without me and my love/support. While I wish her all the peace and happiness in the world, mine comes first.

 

Sincerely,

Rhett Butler

 

 

 

-Mike-

[bustertypsy]

Yelwers and notmyrealname,you are wondering about NC.

Personally I believe that you should at the very least let your feelings be known to the person with whom you are going NC with.

Then there is no doubt from their angle about how you feel towards them.

After that then go NC.If they want you, then believe me,they will walk over glowing embers to find you.

Simple as that,good luck to both of you

[not my real name]

Yelwers and notmyrealname,you are wondering about NC.

Personally I believe that you should at the very least let your feelings be known to the person with whom you are going NC with.

Then there is no doubt from their angle about how you feel towards them.

After that then go NC.If they want you, then believe me,they will walk over glowing embers to find you.

Simple as that,good luck to both of you

 

Thanks for that advice, that's what I did. Before I left his place on Monday night I told him how it is. It was quite an emotional conversation for both of us. I said he should give me a call when he gets back and we'll see how we both feel. I'm not holding my breath though As far as I'm concerned at the moment he hurt me too bad, I don't know if I could ever trust him again anyway, so I'm doing my best to move on now.

[AngryHeart]

You are my hero! Thank you so much for this post. I can really work with these points...brilliant job.

[remainstrong]

What an inspiration, thankyou so much

[CrapAtNC]

I've put up a couple more.

 

Please let me know if you have any I can add.

 

Hope it helps!