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Some good reasons for going NC

CrapAtNC

By CrapAtNC
in Getting Back Together

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twrtwn Apprentice

twrtwn

Posted
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CrapATNC,

I love your post and I have read it quite a few times. It is very positive and gives you all the reasons you need to be strong and dignified and respect yourself and go on....with or without your ex. Thank you. Obviously....you have given this much thought and careful consideration. Way to go!

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dreamguy Enthusiast

dreamguy

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I will reach 60 days of NC on January 25th 2009.

 

It's not like I'm waiting for day 61 to get in touch with my ex. Last time we talked she said she was seeing someone so I don't think I'll ever initiate contact in the future. The idea of her being with someone else seems less and less troubling and the thought of not having her in my life seems more and more "ok".

 

I'm sure this is not only due to the NC period but also to the fact that I haven't seen my ex for a year.

 

Granted, NC and time both cannot make you forget someone you once had a relationship with... they cannot totally kill your love for someone but they can certainly lessen the pain to an acceptable (very low) level thus allowing you to normally go on with your life and/or engage in a new relationship.

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bitteorca Explorer

bitteorca

Posted
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great post I agree with the positives in this post, mostly because its about NC and yourself, with a hint of hope thrown in! The point is that NC is always going to be better than crawling at someone's feet.

 

Can you guys look at my thread? I would like some more opinions and comments

 

 

 

I also wanted to bump

 

thanks

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hypatia Newbie

hypatia

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Great post.

 

What I like about it in particular is that it taps into many of the motivations that we have (if we are posting in this forum) for going into NC.

 

While it's important to heal and move on (and NC does this better than anything), this is the 'getting back together' forum. There's another one called 'healing from break up and divorce' if you don't really care about getting your ex back.

 

Here I think we want to heal, but also want to feel safe to hope, consider strategies, wonder whether NC is 'working' etc. without people telling you to just move on and stay in NC.

 

I think NC works as a strategy for both--healing and the way to bring an ex back if you want it. And there is no harm in seeing it as a strategy given that this is the 'getting back together' forum.

 

Again, great post!

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CrapAtNC Contributor

CrapAtNC

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While you do make some valid points, the original post basically screams "Here's how to use NC to get your ex back!" No no no no nooooooooooooooo.

 

](*,)

 

If I was to write that you should go NC for you and just forget about getting your ex back, it would turn off the majority of people on this thread. But we all need NC, so I chose to appeal to those who want their exes back and those who want to find themselves again. NC is great for everyone, and I hoped to tap into both motivations to get people there. Does that make sense? I've rewritten it several times now . . .

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Crazyaboutdogs Proficient

Crazyaboutdogs

Posted
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I just passed my ex in the car, I waved her, she gave me a nice wave back. I was expecting her to contact me but she didn't...should I make the move? Is this a situation where I remain in NC? She dumped me 7 months ago...

 

I don't know what to do...

 

No, do not contact her. She dumped you. A wave from a car is just politely acknowledging someone you once knew. Don't read anything more into it. When you see a friend on the street and wave to them, do you automatically rush to call them? Probably not...your ex is not even a friend..she is just someone you once knew and don't really know anymore.

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stabilo Contributor

stabilo

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Yeah...but I want to get back with her...

 

I admit I don't want it to be an excuse to contact her. I am definitely not rushing to contact her. In all honesty, it probably is best not to make a further move coz it shows I don't need her. But I love her, and want her.

 

So at the same time, it makes sense to make move and keep it light.

 

I dunno, you're probably right CAD.

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CrapAtNC Contributor

CrapAtNC

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How's crap today! LOL. Why do you need to read your own advice today?

 

I'm single again and still thinking a lot about the same old ex, and even dreaming about her. Been in touch a few times, but she's only lukewarm at best.

 

When I see her, she's great; makes a lot of effort, and I appreciate that. But communication by other means is stifled, and that's probably because I'm contacting her too much. So, time to follow my own advice again. Not trying to get her back (she's seeing someone else)l; just trying to get a clear head.

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Tecan Rookie

Tecan

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Hey all,

 

I've been reading this board every day since I found it a few weeks ago and it has been immensely helpful in dealing with my own breakup. I'm now 3 months into NC from my ex girlfriend of a year and a half and NC is definitely the best way to heal.

 

I was wondering how many people that started posting 3 years ago in this thread actually got back together with their ex. I don't know if any of them still even post or if they just moved on and never came back here but it would be interesting to see if NC worked or didn't work for them.

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