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selkie

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About selkie

  • Birthday 05/01/1977

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  1. Cool, Im not the only smart@ss around here.
  2. Seems kinda curious when it's a topic that comes up all time. LOL
  3. And since I KNOW for a fact my ex wants me back, NC is my smartest Chess move. I feel bad for him cause I can just see going NUTS without any contact over the Holidays. But it's for the best. The only way we can be happily together again is for him to really face how much he misses me.
  4. This reminds me of my 1st boner encounter. I was so damn pure that in 9th grade I was at a dance and this senior who was 6'5 (i was and am 5'5) was slow dancing against me and i thought he was rudely pushing against my stomach with his lower arm. Hahahaha. It wasnt an arm.
  5. I LOVE that this thread is over 3 years old. I bet if I come back here in 15 years it will still be going. Anyway, the only guy who didnt get a boner kissing me made me think he was GAY. This was a guy I dirty danced in front of all night and who had tol dme how sultry and hot I am. Turns out he was a whiskey d1ck.
  6. It's cathartic for the dumpee to get ego strokes from guys who view their profile. I practically strong arm friends who are pining over exes to put personal ads up pronto. I dunno, it actually DRIVES my last 2 exes to jealous little hissy fits. Every time I upload new pics on match they check out my profile on Match. Men are visual creatures always.........If they peruse the personals and spot the dumpee looking hot in her pics (tastefully hot of course) and read a profile that sounds happy and vivacious they are going to start 'imagining' all the men who are after their dumpee now.
  7. Well good luck with that. An effortlessly harmonious relationship is a rare bird indeed. 'Falling out of love' is often the copout of immature people. Sounds like something that makes them faultless. 'Oh I couldn't help leaving them, I fell out of love' Bollocks. There are always specific concrete reasons to observe in a break up. Not some nebulous concept of falling out of love. Seriously though anyone over the age of 21 is going to have baggage. Dating isn't cut and dried. Mating games are part and parcel of ALL animals interactions. Understanding and succeeding at dating, getting back with your ex and maintaining a lively passionate relationship is best viewed as performing a Dance. A back and forth of approach and retreat. Sometimes you reach out and signify interest, sometimes you back off. Everything worthwhile requires effort.
  8. If they're dating someone else. Full no contact. If they're single , only then, do I advocate LC.
  9. It's fine if they spot it for what it is. Just don't own up to it. If the ex still has feelings at all they'll be intrigued or amused. They'll feel positive. If the ex has negative feelings towards you, sending accidental communications will just leave them cold as they already were. But the dumpee will save face. And Ive had a couple exes to the same to me and I actually found it cute. I knew they REALLY were thinking of me but it took pressure off of having to instantly respond. In fact one of them just did this to me two days ago. IMd me to ask me if I had sent him text messages to his cell. When he knows perfectly well I dont have his new cell number since we broke up 5 months ago. So I asked him what the messages said and he is bad at lying so he fumbled and said he forgot already. And this from a guy who went to Yale. lol.
  10. Great thoughts you've gleaned from what you've seen posted here. I've mulled over a lot of posts and people are very raw when they come here. Finding yourself & seeing your value are key. Being and seeming a little bit in love with yourself is a very healthy thing. It can only attract the ex. Seeming like a sad, whiney, petulant and hopeless nattering doormat will only repel them. I wish people would drum it into their heads that wearing their heartbreak on their sleeves will only illicit pity from their exes. I dance, do yoga and used to model. I KNOW how to carry myself and walk proudly. You need your exes to only view you as a confident fulfilled person. One of my exes who wants me back sees me in public a lot and it apparently gets to him. I was a little gurgling brook of overflowing emotions when we were together and now he is impressed I look so "regal, lovely and serene around town' If you can't run into them in person, then whenever they contact you via phone or email or facebook or IMs or myspace or Virb or sykpe you better act happy and that your world is FINE. If you are going nuts and somehow must break no contact, make that contacting them seem accidental. I'm not above subterfuge .... Things that I or my friends or my friends friends have done when we were tearing out our hair and just had to contact the exes: 1. Dial their number from your cell while out with friends at a party or club. Instead of speaking on the phone, simply laugh and talk happily with friends and say (loud enough to be heard 'accidentally on the cell) Yes Im so happy this is fun!' (Ex wondered what great time dumpee was having and got in touch thereafter.) 2. CC or Blind CC them an email addressed to several other real or bogus email addresses that appears to be a mass email to 'friends' Announce an accomplishment, a new youtube video of yourself, a party invite, new pictures you have, whatever. Just send them an email 'indirectly' that makes your life sound great right now. 3. Accidentally IM them. If they IM back apologise cheerily... something like oops! or wow too much to juggle -sorry...If they try to strike up a conversation, say great, one second..... Wait 2 minutes than log offline. Sounds immature I know but the 3 above scenarios actually worked for myself and others on different occasions. LOL.
  11. YES! Mine dumped me cold and had a serious new GF who he 'thought' he was head over heels for. But 2 weeks after I VANISHED he started checking out my photo galleries and also my personal ad. Finally he wrote a jealous little email about my personal ad even though HE and dumped me first. LOL. I am such a consumate chess player that I stopped checking my myspace page and my match personal ad for 3 months just so he wouldnt know what the heck I was up to. It DROVE him nuts wondering if I was still alive, was dating someone, etc. He actually emailed me to ask if I was still alive and kicking....
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