Ex boyfriend messaged her a sketchy message

[ycmanvs]

You WILL NEVER know what actually happened because you were not there. The only thing you can do is listen to the stories that they tell you.

Ask yourself. How do you get along with her? Do you trust her? How do you feel about your relationship? If this message never came, would you be having these doubts? How does she treat you?

[i_love_chocolate]

Actually, I just took a look at your previous threads. Worry and jealousy in this relationship seem to be a recurring theme.

 

Do you think it's because of your own insecurities, or that your girlfriend may indeed be untrustworthy? A possible blend of both?

 

I was never jealous of her guy friends until I caught her emotionally cheating with her ex. I posted a thread about that story but I think I deleted it.

 

In the sense that you posted on here previously about your girlfriend wanting to and hanging out with her ex boyfriend.

 

Yes I was worried about that but like I said that was only after she did what she did with her ex that I caught.

 

You WILL NEVER know what actually happened because you were not there. The only thing you can do is listen to the stories that they tell you.

Ask yourself. How do you get along with her? Do you trust her? How do you feel about your relationship? If this message never came, would you be having these doubts? How does she treat you?

 

I do get along with her and she cares a lot about me. If that message never came, I would have not had these doubts. However, I was suspicious as to why she suddenly stopped hanging out with her ex. I felt like there was something wrong. The fact that I saw these messages kinda made me feel that I was right about something "happeneing" between them but I'm not sure.

 

She claims that the reason they don't hang out anymore is because he said he wanted to be more than friends and she told him that she can't and then he said well then we shouldn't hang out anymore.

[TheFoglifter]

... claims that the reason they don't hang out anymore is because he said he wanted to be more than friends and she told him that she can't and then he said well then we shouldn't hang out anymore."

 

If that is the truth, then I think its fantastic news for you.

 

Did you meet the guy? How did that go?

[i_love_chocolate]

... claims that the reason they don't hang out anymore is because he said he wanted to be more than friends and she told him that she can't and then he said well then we shouldn't hang out anymore."

 

If that is the truth, then I think its fantastic news for you.

 

Did you meet the guy? How did that go?

 

I don't believe her because we broke up once and on the same day she went out clubbing with him (now you see why I'm concerned?). No I haven't met the guy yet. I will meet him in 5 hours from now so I will put an update tomorrow. Today may be a decisive day.

[i_love_chocolate]

I just met him. She cheated on me with him several times and wanted to have sex with him when I was out of town last week. He told me that and showed me the text messages she sent to him. The message he sent telling her I don't wanna be ur bf? Yup he showed me the message she sent to him telling him that she can break up with me if he wants to be with her. He showed me text messages of her telling him "my bofriend is drunk and passed out. Come pick me up so we can have sex". She kissed him and all. He showed me text messages of her telling him how much she loves him and how much she wants to be with him instead. He showed me text messages from months ago of her wanting to be with him, missing him, wanting to have sex with him and kiss him.

 

I came home and confronted her. It was all over. I can't even believe that she actually tried to give me excuses and try to convince me that she didn't cheat on me but she eventually gave in. I can't believe that she is talking about marriage ALL the time and how much she wants to do it. We actually started planning it out. You know what I learned from this? TRUST YOU GUT!!!! Read this a thousand times. TRUST YOUR GUT! I always felt that something was going on and I was right. I am done with her. Even though I'm really pissed off but I'm really glad that I found this out before I married her. I need to be single for a long time. I'm sick of her. I did everything I could do to please her. Yesterday I planned a romantic night at a very beautiful resort. Poor guy I am. She doesn't deserve any of that. Thank you all for being here with me. The problem is that I live with her. I don't know what to do now. I can't stand her. I loved her SO much that I couldn't believe that I can love someone else like that. What an unloyal person she was.

[TheFoglifter]

... problem is that I live with her. I don't know what to do now. "

 

Do you live with her, does she live with you, or do you live together.

 

If its your place, evict her. Get her off the lease and get her stuff in the street. If its her place, and if you aren't on the lease, bolt.

 

I'm sorry it had to come down to this.

[i_love_chocolate]

It's her place. She may stay at her parents place until I find another place maybe next month. I'm so devastated. I can't stop thinking about her messages and how disgusting they were. I can't stop thinking about her having sex with him. I barely got any sleep last night and I could not eat anything and I feel like vomiting. I feel so terrible I have given this girl everything I ever had. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel exhausted. I think I may need some therapy to get over this. It's so painful.

[ycmanvs]

Go stay with a friend. Get out of there. Start looking for a place ASAP. Get as far away from her as possible, as soon as possible.

[RayKay]

Sorry to hear about all this chocolate; I know you certainly cared a great deal for her. As I told you before though, some of her behaviour was a bit shady, and your gut was definitely telling you something. Of course, don't beat yourself up over it, for wanting to believe in someone you cared about.

 

She lied, cheated, and then even lied some more. You deserve much better.

 

I would get out of there as soon as possible, even if it means staying with a friend for a while.

[i_love_chocolate]

Sorry to hear about all this chocolate; I know you certainly cared a great deal for her. As I told you before though, some of her behaviour was a bit shady, and your gut was definitely telling you something. Of course, don't beat yourself up over it, for wanting to believe in someone you cared about.

 

She lied, cheated, and then even lied some more. You deserve much better.

 

I would get out of there as soon as possible, even if it means staying with a friend for a while.

 

I know. I should have left her long time ago. My gut was always right. The thing is I'm leaving Canada for good in a month so I can't really find a place until then. It's hard. She said she may stay at her parents house and I can use the apartment until I leave. I think that's what I will do. I noticed that you didn't comment on my thread and I was certain that you were like "I'm done telling this guy about it. He's not listening". It's true. I'm sorry. But you know how love is blind. I need to find balance and peace within myself now.

[RayKay]

Naw, I was just waiting to see how it all panned out, since I wanted to wait until you had talked to her, and then when I found out you were meeting him, wanted to wait and see what happened there before saying anything.

 

Otherwise I felt maybe you would not have listened

[i_love_chocolate]

She keeps messaging me and telling me that she did this because she wasn't certain that we will have a future. She said that she only realized that we are actually going to have a future few days ago and she decided to forget about him and dedicate her life to me and love me forever. I'm so pissed at her now. I feel like screaming so hard.

[metrogirl]

That is exactly what I feared would happen. From the other threads, I could tell there was deception. We all find out in time what goes on behind our backs.

 

Please don't let your love for her, blind you if she starts coming around telling you things will be different from now on. She has proven what kind of gal she is. Hold your head high and move forward. I wish you the best.

[i_love_chocolate]

That is exactly what I feared would happen. From the other threads, I could tell there was deception. We all find out in time what goes on behind our backs.

 

Please don't let your love for her, blind you if she starts coming around telling you things will be different from now on. She has proven what kind of gal she is. Hold your head high and move forward. I wish you the best.

 

This is exactly what she's doing now. Trying to tell me how much she loves me and how much she would sacrifce for me if I gave her another chance. She tells me that she worships the ground I walk on and that if she could only be my servant for the rest of my life then she would. She also asked me to help her find peace within herself. She just texted me a message asking me to just be there for her, if not as a lover then just as a human being.

[metrogirl]

This is exactly what she's doing now. Trying to tell me how much she loves me and how much she would sacrifce for me if I gave her another chance. She tells me that she worships the ground I walk on and that if she could only be my servant for the rest of my life then she would. She also asked me to help her find peace within herself. She just texted me a message asking me to just be there for her, if not as a lover then just as a human being.

 

Wow....even now after she's been busted big time, she still wants to grovel. Well, I hope for your sake that you stay strong and don't give in. A cheater will continue their ways if they know that they can continue to get away with it.

 

I recently said in another thread how it sickens me that the cheater is never truly sorry about it until they have been caught. Only then do they feel bad, and they are not feeling bad because they cheated, they feel bad because they got caught.

[i_love_chocolate]

She claims that she had sex with him ONLY once and that was on the night we broke up a few months ago. To me, that's still cheating. If you have sex with someone else the same night you break up with your bf, it is cheating. But she also admitted kissing him last week when I was out of town. She claimed that he forced her. What a ****.

[metrogirl]

She will continue to defend her actions. I only did it after I broke up with you, well we only kissed, blah blah blah......You don't need to hear anymore details from her do you? As long as you continue to listen to her "justification", you are allowing her to continue killing you emotionally. Hasn't she already done enough damage?

[i_love_chocolate]

She will continue to defend her actions. I only did it after I broke up with you, well we only kissed, blah blah blah......You don't need to hear anymore details from her do you? As long as you continue to listen to her "justification", you are allowing her to continue killing you emotionally. Hasn't she already done enough damage?

 

She has caused me more damage than anyone can handle. I will take this to my grave.

[TheFoglifter]

... recently said in another thread how it sickens me that the cheater is never truly sorry about it until they have been caught."

 

I've always wondered about this. When you cheat, is it really a dance around the maypole? Just because the affair is exciting and secret doesn't mean that there isn't remorse and conflict within the cheater's heart.

 

... you have sex with someone else the same night you break up with your bf, it is cheating."

 

I don't know about that. I think its better to break up first and have the sex second. I can see how you feel the way you feel, but I bet most people would say "we were broken up, so it wasn't cheating because there was no relationship to cheat on".

 

... will take this to my grave."

 

Yeah, this will be a part of you forever, but its not your fault that she was a bad person. It sounds like you gave way too much to be responsible for driving her into someone elses arms.

 

You will find someone deserving.

[i_love_chocolate]

I still believe it's cheating. And even if you don't consider that cheating, she kissed him while I was out of town last week. That was cheating. She messaged him several times asking for sex, that was cheating. She texted him a message saying "my bf is drunk and passed out. Why don't you come and pick me up so we can have sex?" that's cheating. CHEATING CHEATING AND CHEATING!

[i_love_chocolate]

She just messaged me to tell me that she has caused me so much pain and she will never forgive herself for it but it's only temporarily. The happiness that she can give me is a lifetime!!! They say that men are cheaters. I'm sorry. Women are too! They're just the same.

[metrogirl]

She just messaged me to tell me that she has caused me so much pain and she will never forgive herself for it but it's only temporarily. The happiness that she can give me is a lifetime!!! They say that men are cheaters. I'm sorry. Women are too! They're just the same.

 

Yeah, sadly women cheat too. However, now you know what she is, and with this you can learn to move forward and start the healing process. Might I suggest you change your number so that you don't have to endure her never ending texts?

[TheFoglifter]

chocolate, I wasn't saying your gf didn't cheat. I was just analyzing the idea that if you have sex on the same night you break up that its cheating. Your girlfriend did cheat on you, there's no doubt about that.

[i_love_chocolate]

Yeah, sadly women cheat too. However, now you know what she is, and with this you can learn to move forward and start the healing process. Might I suggest you change your number so that you don't have to endure her never ending texts?

 

I'm leaving the country in a month so it's not worth changing it. Honestly speaking, and I know you'll hate me for this, her messages make me feel good. Just knowing that she's there. I know this is wrong but I can't help but feel this way.

[TheFoglifter]

You could also manipulate her -- use her for some sex before you go, but keep her at arm's length. Not sure you want to stoop to that level, but she had no problem cheating on you.