sspaul

thanks for your advice but why do you think she is ignoring me? why do you say trust me did this work for you?

Is it a good sign that six months later it still hurts her to talk to me? I am affraid of leaving her alone for too long, it scares the hell out of me!! No contact S**ks but I guess I have no other choice......

Someone help I am not sure what to do. My exgirlfriend and I have been broken up for 6 months and have had some contact in that time but it was never pleasant always me begging for her to come back. I know this is stupid and it always pushes them further away. After reading hundreds of post on here I figured I would try the no contact rule for a month. Well A month goes by and we have a great 45 minute conversation which was mostly me talking about us maybe being friends. Anyway I never got dont call me anymore or yes we can be friends, so I am left wondering what to do now. The reason I am looking for some advice is because while we where talking I was acting happy and was telling her that my life is better now and that I am happy with myself. Well toward the end of the conversation she started to get upset (crying) but trying not to let me hear her but I could tell. Well after we talked I felt really good hopeing that maybe we can start over somehow as friends but here is my problem. 4 days go by so I figured I would give her a call just to say hi and she doesnt answer. She has caller ID so I know she knows I called but It is like it was before she is ignoring me again. I did ask her why she was ignoring me before and she said that she is still angry because I hurt her. Well I am wondering if it still hurts her to talk to me and that is why she is ignoring me again? Why else would she get upset on the phone we where having a good conversation? What should I do? Leave her alone for a while? I am so confused and after actually talking to her all I want to do is call her. I love this girl so much any advise would be great please help me do the right thing to try to get her back. Also if this helps when we talked I was at work and kept telling her I have to go and she kept saying NO talk to me this went on for a half hour, I am so confused someone help.

Im not sure if I can do that I have a hard time going one day without calling I guess the ball is in her court now

Should I not talk to her for a couple of weeks and then give her a call?

Its been two months since me and my ex girlfriend have broken up. All this time she has not wanted anything to do with me until last night. I saw her and we talked. I told her that I still love her and miss her alot. She told me that all we can be is friends right now. I asked her if we could hang out sometime and she said it is too soon. She said that she still has feelings for me and it hurts to see me. This came to a complete shock to me because I thought she was over me. Since we broke up I tried very hard to get back with her but nothing has worked. I dont know what else to do she is hanging around with her ex everyday and I think if he wasnt around we would be together. I asked her if they where going out and she said they are just friends. I am not sure what to do now, she obviously still cares about me and Im sure she misses me but I think she is scared and is trying to figure out if she still has feelings for her ex. what am I suppose to do just wait and leave her alone? I love this girl so much. When I saw her last night my heart was pounding and I couldnt breath. She told me that she was shaking. She seems to put on an act that she is happy but I know her and I can tell that she is not. I have tried everything to get her back except I havnt gone away, she knows Im still there and maybe that is the problem I dont know. I dont think I can be her friend but I want to start fresh with her and that is the only way I can be with her again. She told me I should move on and I said how will that make you feel if I did move on and was happy and she said I dont know. I think she is confused and scared. I want to prove to her that I would never take her for granted again but I dont know what else to say or do. i feel like too much time is going by and I am going to lose her. Being 31 I thin I should know by now what love is and the feelings for her never went away if anything they got stronger, so what is a man to do just let her go?.... some advice please......

This is a great post I have been chasing my ex for two months now showing her that I am upset and missing her, cards, letters, calling all the time and I have got no where! I want to do all the things you said in your post but it is easier said than done. I am affraid that if I just go away she will be happy that I am not around anymore and just forget about me and I dont know if I can handle that. I love this girl and she knows it, the problem is that she is seeing her ex again and I think it makes it easier for her to not talk to me. Is what you are doing working? Is your ex showing signs of missing you? I know that I have never giving her a chance to miss me. I go about a week and start to panic because I havnt talked to her and she hasnt called and I end up calling or letting her see me but I get no results. I want to have the strength to do the things you said in your post but my feelings for her get in the way and I find myself fighting for her again. Does anyone have any stories about getting their girl back when they finally stopped chasing. I could use some success stories mabye it would help me do the same because I know I am not getting anywhere doing what I am doing. maybe when things dont work out with her ex she will come back to me but I know I have to move on and not wait for that but its hard. Let us all know if this really does work!! vfunkera is your ex coming back to you?

I am wondering if anyone can give me some good advice? I am trying to get back with my ex girlfriend but it is impossible for me to talk to her because she went back to her ex boyfriend almost instantly after we broke up! They are with eachother 24/7 sleeping over and everything. I cant call or see her because they are always together. What can I do to get her to talk to me I have tried everything from text messaging and getting no responce and I even sent her a letter and got nothing. I dont know what to do I love her so much. It has been a long six weeks for me and it doesnt even seem to bother her that we dont talk. I dont understand how she could spend 14 months with me and just go on like I meant nothing to her. I have figured out that she was never over her ex and that is most of the reason why our relationship failed but I am hopeing it doesnt work out between them so I can try to get her back. I just feel like there is nothing I can do and I am very hurt by her going back to him. Even though they are ex's I don't see how it can work for them because she went from me to him and plus the reasons why they broke up are still going to be there right? Isn't this a rebound thing? I am trying to be strong but I Love her so much and I want to show her how much I love her bbut it just is impossible right now with him around. What do I do. I am trying the no contact thing and I am working on myself but my feelings for her are so strong that it is so hard. It doesnt seem to bother her that I don't call anymore. What am I suppose to do wait around and hope they don't make it so she comes back to me. I know part of her misses me so I am trying to hold on to something here. Any advice would be great Thanks

I am wondering if anyone can give me some good advice here. Here goes, I went out with this girl for 14 months and I fell in love with her and I thought she was in love with me. She is 23 and i am 31. She had just come out of a four year relationship with her ex about two months before we met. Everything was fine until one day he showed up at her worked to say hi and he told her he missed her and to give her a call sometime, that was fine I had no problem with that. The thing is we would argue about this guy because she was very defensive about him and told me they where just friends. She told me that she wanted to hang out with him alone without even introducing me to him. I was very uncomfortable with that and we argued and even broke up about it several times. Every time we broke up she would ignore me and spend everyday with him(as friends). Then we would get back together and I would ask her things and she would tell me that he asked her to get back together and she said let's just be friends. Ok cool. This would happen every time. Now this time it got to the point where we where getting along fine and she came over one day all depressed and said I miss my friends and I said who the Ex? And she said yes. So anyway we broke up again and now it has been a month and let me tell you I have begged her to come back and she doesnt want anything to do with me. So she said they where only friends then why is it that they sleep over eachothers house everyday? Should I be worried she's never coming back. I don't think she was ever over him and that affected our relationship. I fiigured out that it is so easy for her not to talk to me because she has him now. Isn't this a rebound thing even though they are ex's or does this mean that they came back to eachother because they are meant to be and I am out of luck? Or did they go back to eachother because they both didnt want to be aloneand it was convienent? Arn't they going to relise that the reasonwhy they broke up will still be ther? I don't understand why I am so upset over this girl. She never made me happy so I don't understand how she can make him happy. She is not happy with herself! She has alot of flaws. She is a slob, she doesnt cook or clean, she whines, she run's to mommy about everything, she belches in public and she dresses like she is 18. She has no ambition to move up in life, she has been pushing carridges at the supermarket for 6 yearsnow. Shes not romantic at all and she never acknolidged little things I used to do for her like send her flowers or sweet text messages. I mean I would have to call her later in the dayand I would be the one to say Oh by the way did you get the flowers or the text message and she would say oh yeah I forgot? I feel like we never had the chance to be lovers because she wasn't over him yet and that sucks because I did everything and accepted everything about this girland she just shut me off and went to him. What do I do? I toldd her how I felt and she doesn't care. I drove by her house this morning at 5am and his car was there where mine used to be and that hurt me so bad. Must be pretty close friends huh? I don't know what tto do or feel I know we didn't have alot of chemistry but it still hurts. I told her that her exboyfriend was going to ruin our relationship and she said only if I let it. Well guess what she's with him now and that tells me that she doesn't know what she wants.I hope it doesn't work out for them and she comes back to me and realises that she loves me but I am affraid that won't happen because they went back to eachother so maybe they are meant to be. Or does going back to an ex never or rarely work? I told her how much I love her, now what do I do? Sit back and watch her be happy with the guy that took her from me. I am so confused and hurt please someone shed some light on this for me. Everyone tells me i can do so much better than her but I do love her and I want her back. Sorry so long ,thanks

It's been three weeks since my 14 month relationship has ended and it has been the worst three weeks of my life. My ex has told me not to talk to her and to let her move on and that she wanted me to move on as well. The thing is the reason why we broke up was because she wanted to be friends with her ex boyfriend of 4 years but she wouldnt introduce me to him and I took offence to that. to make a long story short she has been with him everyday since we broke up and she tells me she is just friends. Well last night she had called me while I had a female friend over and she was yelling at me about something stupid that was said but when she heard my friends voice she got very jealous and was asking me questions like are you going out with her or sleeping with her and stuff. I am just confused because I fought for her for three weeks and got regected and now that she sees that I am around another female it seems to bother her alot!. What could this possibly mean? Does it mean that she is not happy and didnt relise how it would make her feel to hear another females voice in my room with me or does it mean that she still cares about me and because I was acting happy on the phone with her that she sees that I can be happy without her. The thing is though all it was was acting I miss this girl so much and I would go back to her in a second but I'm not sure how to do that. I cried to her for three weeks and now I have decided to stop because I feel like she is holding all the cards by seeing me upset. I am wondering if she really wants me out of her life but her jealousy makes me feel like she still cares about me annd I just dont know what to do. I havn't really giving her time to miss me because I am always trying to call her and see me around but I know that all that does is let her know that I am still here. I want her to think that I am moving on and maybe she will come back but it is a scary thing to do because I really love her and I want to show her that. She is a very confused girl and doesnt know what makes her happy she even said to me that"I am trying to be happy whatever that is" I dont know what to do any advice would be great! Thanks

first of all I want to say that everyone has been a big help to my situation on my other posts. I broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago and I am kicking myself in the butt. This isnt the first time we have broken up over 14 months but it seems to me that she has had enough. I have tried to tell her that I am sorry and I never meant to hurt her and that I want her to give me another chance to prove myself to her. I have done everything from trying not to call her for a couple of days to crying over the phone and telling her huch my I am sorry and that I miss her. But today I went to her work because I wanted to tell her that I was going to the hospital. I guess I was trying to see if she still cared about me because this past April I had to have surgury and she was right by my side the whole time. It seemed like she didnt care and I told her that it is going to be hard for me to go without her because she was always there for me. Anyway before I left I left her a card with a long letter in it telling her how I felt and how sorry I am. I called her on her lunch break very upset and she said she would call me later. So far I havnt got any response from her knowing how upset I am or from the letter. I know that she is scared of me hurting her but I know now after not being with her for this long that I would never break it off with her again. What I am wondering maybe a girl can answer is what is she telling me when I get no response? Is it that she really doesnt care or is it that she hasss her guard up and is protecting herself. I dont know what to do I find myself calling her but she never answers. I told her that I will fight for her but I dont want to lose control and push her away. Any suggestons would be great Thanks

I have been broken up with my girlfriend for two weks now which was my doing because of problems with her ex boyfriend. What happened is we had broken up over this guy more than once and it was because she was affraid of how I would react. Anyway she went out with this guy for 4 years and everytime we broke up she would go hang out with him. She told me everytime we got back together that they where friends. We always got back together within a week but this time is different. It has been two weeks and she told me not to call her and to leave her alone. I think that she still has feelings for this person because she is with him everyday and doesnt ever care if she doesnt talk to me and that hurts because she knows how upset I am but doesnt seem to care. What I am wondering is does anyone think that she might be wanting to give him another try. He has asked her to get back together but she said she wasnt over me yet so I thinking she wants no contact with me so she can get over me and give him another try. I really miss her and I am trying very hard not to call her or let her see me but I feel like I am just giving up and letting her figure this out for herself. I told her that I would be here for her if she ever comes back but this time I dont think she will and that makes me want to fight for her. I dont understand why she thinks it will work with this guy they tried before and it didnt so why is she so willing to give me up over him. I have never felt so replaced and rejected in all my life. I am 31 and she is 23 and I know that we have different views riight now but I know that I love her and she told me for the last year and a half that she loved me and she was there for me everyday. Everything was good between us most of the time and then one day about 8 months ago he came to her work and told her that he miss's her annd ever since then things just didn't seem the same. I am very confused about why it is so easy for her to not talk to me and not see me. I am hopeing that by me giving her space and letting her fall if she has to maybe she will come back to me but it is so hard. I know she has a lot of growing up to do and she needs to figure out what she wants. I just dont understand the way women think sometimes and I am scared of what will happen if i dont contact her, will she think I have moved on and dont care anymore? What can I do to let her know that I am here and waiting for her to clear her head or is she just trying to figure out if this guy makes her happier than I do. Please help I am so confused and It gets harder everyday that goes by that my phone doesnt ring. What do I do?

You people are great and I really appreciate your advice but I just goot off the phone with her cousin and she told me that she doesn't want to go back to me, she want's to be free and enjoy herself and that is very hard for me to take. I have to respect her wishes and not contact her for a while but that is very hard for me to do because I want her to see what i saw last night and relise that we could have made this work. I think right now she is confused and doesn't know what she want's and is affraid of us going right back where we were. I know where I made my mistake's and I want to prove it to her but how can you prove yourself by just letting go and not contacting her. To me that seems like she will think that I have moved on but I know myself better than anyone and I know that I will be sitting her waiting for her to come back to me. I am hopeing once the anger calms down she will see things more clearly. Maybe she just has to get this out of her system but I am affraid of her falling in love with someone else and forgeting all about me and that's what makes me want to contact her to let her know that I am still here and i am willing to do whatever it takes to make it work the way we always wanted it to. It sucks when you don't know what you have until it's gone and it suck's to know that you are willing to put in the effort but she is not because she has lost all hope. Do I just leave her alone and call her once in a while and not bring anything up or do I just try to move on and hope that if it is meant to be it will happen. I feel so lost without her and I just want to make her feel happy and content with me but I need that chance to prove myself to her but it seems like I will never get that chance. thanks for the help

Someone please help here's the situation. I have been going out with my girfriend for 14 months and I just broke up with her because there is an ex in the picture that she went out with for four years. Since we where going out she was always affraid to talk to or hang out with him because she thought I was going to get pissed. The thing is she has known him since she was 5 and they are good friends. The other thing is the reason why I had a problem with him is because she nnever introduced me to him and kept him totaly separate from me. To make a long story short we fought about this guy and broke up over this guy several times even though she saw him as a friend he wanted her back. Now we have been broken up for two weeks now and I have been devastated even though I ended it. Well last night I was driving by her cousins house and she was there and he was there outside so I pulled in. This guy came up to me and we got a long and talked for two hours about everything. My point is that when I was leaving I was very upset because after meeting him and him telling me to my face that they are just friends I was thinking if we had just met during our relastionship I wouldnt have cared if she hung out with him and I am woondering if she is thinking the same thing. I feel like we broke up because I didnt understand there friendship and I always asked her to introduce me to him because it will affect me if she didint. Why did I have to meet him now after all the damaged has been done, is she going to see that we can be cool with eachother and she can be with me and have him as a friend, damm I wouldnt even mind being his friend. I am just hoping that she see's why I felt the way I did and understands now that we could of had a stronger relationship by me and her unnderstanding this mess. I feel like we are over now for the wrong reasons and I want to call her and ask her if she see's what I see but she really is mad at me right now and told me not to call. I guess I just have to sit around and wonder if she realises that she can have him as a friend and me back in her life and we can all get along. I Love her so much and she knows it and I know she cares about me and misses me but I just want her to see that we can all get along together ex boyfriend or not. I need some advise as to what to do now do I just wait? someone help

Someone please help me. I am trying to figure out why I am feeling like begging her to come back to me. We went out for 14 months, she is 23 and I am 31 and in those 14 months we broke up probably 7 times! We had alot of problems yet everytime we both missed eachother and it never lasted more than a week and we always came back to eachother. This time is different now she wants nothing to do with me and it has been two weeks and I know that I wasnt happy in the relationship and neither was she but I feel like I Love her and cant live without her. We have hhad no communication and when you go from talking to and seeing someone everyday and all of a sudden its gone its hard to take. I find myself calling her constantly and it is making her pissed at me! Why doesnt she want to talk to me if I am so sorry for everything and why doesnt she care that I am hurting so much. Does this mean that she doesnt care about me or am I just so used to her that I dont know any better oooor is it just the idea of someone being there because right now I am feeling so alone and unhappy without her. What do I do leave her alone and hope that she will come back to me, I know we loved eachother or maybe we were trying to love eachother. I am so confused and everyone tells me I am doing the right thing by letting her go but why am I feeling so much regret. I miss her so much and by her ignoring me it is making me worst. what am I suppose to do here? I am physicaly sick over this...any advice would help thanks

So my plan backfired. I wasnt toying with her heart I just wanted us to be open and honest about things and she couldnt do that. What am I suppose to do I want her back but I don't know how to go about it because she gets mad when I try to talk to her. Should I just give her space or let her know that I am huting and that I am sorry for reacting this way, I really love her and I dont want to let her go I am not perfect and I do make mistakes and this is one of them so why cant we both learn from this and grow from it together

It's been 9 day since I broke up with my girlfriend of 14 months. The reason or reason's why I broke up with her is first of all I have 2 kids that dont live with me and she wanted nothing to do with them, sshe is 8 years younger than me and acts like she is 18. I tried to be the mature guy and just tell her once in while to grow up and be serious with me but it never happened. I had alot of respect for her because she is 23 and she is a virgin and I was ok with that. The other reason I broke it off with her and it isnt the first time we broke up over this is that she had a previous relationship with a guy for 4 years, and every time we broke up she would go hang out with him but towards the end she told me that she wanted to be his friend which I was fine with but she didnt want to do it around me or even introduce me to the guy. I couldnt deal with that and I had to end it and 2 weeks after we had broking up we where planning a trip with her family to Martha's Vinneyard and she went anyway with guess who yes him, I am told they are only friends but why is it every time we broke up she went with him and wanted nothing to do with me and now even worst she is away with him and wants nothing to do with me and is acting like she is happy without me and will not talk to me or call and I feel like I am making a mistake, I dont think I have evr been so hurt and rejected in all my life, I am trying to figure out if our relationship was love or just a habit because we did spend everyday together. She told me she loved me everday and we have been threw alot together. I have lost my best friend and girlfriend but I just dont know what to do I feel like I want her back but I'm not sure. Would I be feeling like this if I didnt love her and would she be treating me like this if she really loved me in the first place. any advice would be great