Katerina

Luv, I know exacly how you feel. I have had feelings for the same guy for queit some time now, and it is worse for me because he is in a relationship with a very beautiful woman, which he purposely and cold heartedly flaunted in my face. Unfortunately, there is not much that can be done. If someone doesn't want us, what can we do. It is heart breaking and cruel and you start to question yourself and think what is wrong with me. We make fools of ourselves to get someone, and they are only laughing because we chase them, if a guy was interested, trust me he will let you know. I can't just say to you GET OVER IT, it doesn't work that easy. But, what ever you do, do not call, email or even have the littlest bit of contact with this person. OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND. That is the only way to move on from this person. It is not easy, I should know, I made a fool of myself and he has moved on and found love, so who is the loser here, ME. It takes time, but I hope you get there.

I am in my mid 20's, female and still a virgin. I know that is very reat these days, which is quiet sad. I feel so innadeqate, frustrated and unfufilled. I have never been in real relationship or in love. But everyone else has, and they have had sex. I am alwasy the girl who dates, but not for long, only for a couple of dates or weeks. Then when I don't open my legs they don't want to know me, and NEVER regret letting me go. I want the first guy to stick around a bit, if not ever. I know that I am missing out big time, but what can I say, I have bad luck, maybe I wasn't meant to be with someone. I am an attractive girl, sweet, down to earth, cute and innocent, too innocent for my age, something men don't appreciate these days. I am so fed up, I was thinking of calling up one of those guys who rejected me and offering them my gift to get it over and done with, but I am worried I will feel used and catch a STD. There is so much pressure, especially from the media, magazines, tv etc. That is all everyone cares about, what ever happened to love and respect. Will a guy find me a turn off? What will he think of me, will he think I am frigid, because I am not. Will he guide me, or expect me to know how to do everything in one minute. I am ashamed, NOT PROUD, and want to die. Because I haven't been with a guy to the full extent, I don't feel sexy, attractive or wanted. I feel like a little lost school girl. I long to give my heart and virginity to someone, but it seems there is no one out there. Why do nice girls come last? I thought we had the qualities guys want in a realtionship. Obviously, I am very gullable and stupid to believe that.

How sad, in this day and age, if you are a female virgin, you are not considered normal. That remark about your friends never having a virgin. Virginity in a woman is the best gift she can ever give to a guy, but none of you seem to appreciate that, you only appreciate girls who have been around. Also, that comment, sex will be more pleasurable with a non virgin woman. My god, so in other words, sex with a virgin is not good. You are only as good as your teacher. Virgins are tight, and that is pleasure. No wonder, nice girls never get anywhere. If this is the attitude for girls, then it must be there must be more pressure for guys.

I agree, why should that be an issue. If you are happy with him, that is all that counts. At least you don't have to worry about him comparing you to others, or having diseases. It is very rear, usually it is the other way around, but you should guide him and if it doesn't work out, he will never forget you. I can see your point, he might get curious and want to have an affair or exlpore later on, but he seems like a nice guy, so I don't think you have anything to worry about. Virginity is the ultimate gift of love, so cherish it.

Ultimately, it is your decision what you want to do. I always say go with your heart, but in this situation go with your head. I am sorry to say, but what a BITCH! She got rid of you and kept in touch to let you know that she was sleeping with someone else. I would never go back to that, they do not deserve it. The pain of what your feeling outweighs the joy of going back to her. It's like she keeps you on the side, so when she is through with having fun, she comes back to you. Guys do the same things to nice girls. Just carry on your life, and even though it hurts, pretend you are happy and dating other women. People like that don't deserve attention. Please do take this as an offence, I don't know you ex, but I think nice people deserve the best. Like I said, you decide, it is your life and don't do what everyone else wants you to do, then you will have regrets.

You are right, I am attracted to the bad boy, you know the saying, OPPOSITES ATTRACT! It's funny, bad it is true, and I stull don't understand why. You seem very genuine, smart and down to earth. Are you single?

I see your point, But why would he do all that in front of me, he has a girl now, so why carry on the performance to make me jealous, and why get angry when I don't look upset.

No, that is where you are wrong, First of all we were not in a relationship to begin with, we were only in the dating stage and I said I wanted to take that part slow. He was totally selfish and didn't want to wait. He wanted emotion free sex. It was too much of an effort for him. So basically, he just wanted a booty call. He is a arrogant player! My god, why can't guys understand that??? He also said, he would hurt me because he knew I wanted a relationship from him. The one thing I have noticed with guys these days, if your easy, they have a relationship with you, but if you have self respect, they don't want to know you. The Bad girls always win! If he really liked me don't you think he would have waited. What is the rush anyway, I would rather wait a bit longer and make love then rush it and have just a meaningless bonk.

I have had very deep feelings for the same guy for just over 2 years, we briefly dated in 2001. But he ended it because he didn't want commitment and I wasn't ready to sleep with him so soon. In that 2 years I see him every now and then and we always end up in each others arms, just to see if he can get something out of me, only to realise that he is wasting his time. He knows that I really want him, and no matter what he does, I will take him back in a second. I have completely deluded myself thinking that one day he will turn around and realise what he was missing and come back to me once he is ready to commit. But that is never the case, THAT DAY NEVER COMES and I am still alone. Most recently, I bumped into him at a bar and he was with his new girlfriend, right in front of me he is pashing her off to make me jealous. I felt like nothing, like I wasn't good enough and not sexy or attractive. Then when I wouldn't act like I was upset, he would always look over at me with an angry look on his face, like why am I not giving him attention. Why would he do that, and why would he give me those looks. I feel so rejected, I can't even eat. It has been 2 years and he has moved on. He said he doesn't want commitment, but he has committed to someone else. I want to meet someone new and move on with my life, but I can't even accomplish that, I feel like such a loser. I am not ugly, and I am a decent girl, why wouldn't he want to commit to me, I know what type of girl he commits to. I need some advice and encouragement.