goodfella

Hey everyone, Well it's been 5 weeks of absolutely no contact and the other day my ex-girlfriend calls up to see how i was doing. To say the least i was in a bit of shock as i wasnt expecting to hear from her so soon. So we're just chatting along for about 30 mins and her best friend from another city was down and then my ex-gf suggests that we go out for drinks because her best friend would like to see me, even though during the 15 months we were together i've only met her once. I agreed but it just so happened things didnt work out that night and we didnt end up meeting up. So yesterday she called again and we were talking and near the end of the conversation she mentions that I should give her a call sometime and we could meet up for a drink. Now here's where i need some help and advice. My friends are split...some think this is really good news and very positive the other half believe she is just testing to see if i'm still there, a safety net if you will. I don't know what to think anymore and I do want to meet up with her, so i was thinking i'd give her a call in a weeks time(is that enough time), but some of my friends believe that if she is serious that she will call again which i disagree because now the ball is in my court and its my move to make. I hate playing mind games but is there another way? Any advice or opinions are greatly appreciated.

Hey Goldie, I am going through the exact same situation with the roles reversed. My girlfriend broke up with me over the phone and we havent talked for over a month now. The thing is there is such a whirlwind of emotions, one day i'm angry at her and then i feel sad. I know she needs her space but the hurt is something i would not wish on anyone. Coming to this board is a good step, as is moving back to home closer to family and friends. Never underestimate the value of good friendships, they have been helpful this past month. The advice given on this forums is helpful and even though it is painful to read it probably is the best advice....you have to put forth your best effort and move on, because like me we are trying to bet on something thats not a sure thing and that is our ex's feelings changing and wanting to be back with us. We just end up hurting oursleves even more. I guess my best advice is to continue hanging out with friends, love him if you have too but have faith in times ability to heal. If you want to talk more about this you can always PM or email me at email removed. Good luck and keep your head up!

Hey everyone, I posted my story of my breakup in another posting: link removed However tonight I was talking with a buddy of mine and he told me that a friend of the ex asked my buddys gf (mutual friends) if i was seeing anyone. Now does this mean that she's thinking about me or worried that I've moved on? Or is really nothing, just take it as face value. I don't know what to think, we still havent spoken in over a month now, which is the longest we have even gone without talking in the year and a half that we went out. Any opinions?

Thanks for the responses Genesis and segagirl. I guess I'm having a hard time accepting that its over. I think this forum has helped a lot, i never thought a person can change so quickly but after reading some experiences by other posters its quickly become a sad reality. Segagirl. i completely agree that she should go out and discover herself, obviously she needs this time to figure stuff out, and I've given her that time away...seeing as we havent talked in 4 weeks. I guess I'm scared of losing her completely but I just can't go back to being friends and she knows that. Only problem with hanging out with my friends is that everyone is in a serious relationship and thats pretty depressing doing stuf with them and seeing how happy they are. Ahh well, love is the best and worst thing ever Thanks for the advice and opinions, its nice to hear another perpective on things.

For starters, don't be pushing your tongue into the back of her throat, that just does not work. First try to be slow, adapt to her style. When things start picking up then up the tempo a little. I think variety is the key. Just try not to be too aggressive.

I've been broken up with my ex for about 7 weeks now. This has absolutely been the hardest things I've have ever gone through. People were absolutely shocked when we broke up because everything seemed fine. There was an exception, we hadnt fooled around or hadnt had sex in over 2 months, when i brought up the issue my ex would shy away from it, she coulnt explain why cause she still felt attracted to me, all she wanted to ever do was cuddle and sleep. I got frustrated because i felt rejected, so one night i broke up with her, however i didnt really mean too, it just happened but the next morning I talked to her and explained why i did it but by then she said it was too late, she was hurt pretty bad. She explained that maybe we needed to take a break for a week and see how things went and I agreed. However it almost seemed like it happened overnight but then seemed that she didnt care anymore. After a week i asked how she felt and she explained to me that the break had "opened her eyes" and that she had "lost something for me" and she couldnt explain what. She said she felt confused about a lot of things and that she needed time to think. She didnt have the heart to say all this in person because she said it would be too hard on her. Last time i say her was on her birthday about a month ago. I dropped off her favourite cake and a birthday card, she teared up when she saw me but i could see it was really troubling her to see me in person. She said she appreciated everything I did for her. However that night i left the town for a few days and I got a call from one of my buddies who saw her leave the bar that night holding hands with another guy. I called her the next day and she understood why i was hurt but she said it didnt mean anything, just a drunken thing. I said maybe its better if we cut all communication and she agreed, she was crying on the phone saying "i'm sorry" over and over...she mentioned that she didnt want this to be the end and that she doesnt know in a few months time if she will feel differently. She said that she doesnt know if she was making the biggest mistake of her life, she just couldnt get back together with me. We left it at that and I havent talked to her since, however i sent her an email explaining that I wasnt mad just upset that her feelings changed. I got a resoonse back yesterday -------------------------------- I"m sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I never check my emails! I really appreciate you writing me that letter. Being away from you has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but like you said I believe it's for the best. I can't explain to you how hard it was for me to do this, I still care about you and always will. I had an amazing year and I owe that to you!!! Thank You for always being there for me, as my best friend and as my boyfriend!! Please keep in touch!!! -------------------------------------------------- I just dont know what to do, I'm still head over heels over this girl and I think I could move on however there's that hope that maybe her feelings will change. Any thoughts?

Hmmm so many good choices out there, i personally find music is helping me the most in my time through my breakup. Here are some of my favourites, hope they help you out. 1.Dave Matthews Band---I'll Back you Up(Try the acoustic version) 2.Dave Matthews Band(DMB)--->Lover Lay Down 3.DMB--->Grace is Gone(Personal Fav) 4.DMB--->Where are you going 5.Pearl Jam---Black 6.Pearl Jam---Footsteps 7.Ben Harper-->Walk Away(Personal Fav) Oh no here comes that sun again that means another day without you my friend And it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself and it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else and it's so hard to do and so easy to say but sometimes sometimes you just have to walk away walk away With so many people to love in my life why do I worry about one But you put the happy in my ness you put the good times into my fun and it's so hard to do and so easy to say but sometimes sometimes you just have to walk away walk away and head for the door 8.Sade-By your side 9.Musiq Soulchild--->Don't Change 10.Van Morrison-->I'll be your lover too 11.Coldplay--->Trouble 12.Vertical Horizon-->Best I ever had 13.U2-->One 14.Goo Goo Dolls--->Iris(Acoustic) 15.The Tragically Hip--->Scared 16.Craig David---Walking Away 17.The Calling---wherever you will go 18.Lifehouse---Everything 19.David Gray--->Say Hello, Wave Goodbye 20.David Gray--->This years love 21.No doubt--->Running 22.Sarah Mclachlan-->Fumbling towards ecstasy, wait, possession, good enough, elsewhere....(her lyrics are really inspiring, definitely give her a listen) 23. Elton Jonh--Tiny Dancer 24. Dj Sammy-->Heaven (Candlelight remix) 25. Norah Jones--->Come away with me 26. Joee-->Angel (Reprise remix) 27. Jann Arden--->I would die for you 28. Bic Runga-->Sway

Hey, I know exactly where your coming from. I just got out of my first long term relationship in the beginning of June. There are so many reminders of my ex-girlfriend it just makes you down and depressed. And the hardest part about this whole experience is that there is no easy way around it. I thought i had faith in my relationship and now the only thing i have faith in is time's ability to heal. I think your being unfair to yourself right now by trying to date someone because it seems like you havent given yourself time to heal.