gojoshgo

Wow, so many familiar stories. Life is made up of so many parallel events yet the small details make each day new and creating the variety allowing us all to have "my life story". I share many of the same emotions as do many on here (now or previously). I know there is no future with my ex-wife (it would inevitably hurt me more in the end) yet I cant seem to let go of the future that seemed certain just months ago. No matter how hard I try, those thoughts rush me like Lawrence Taylor rushing John Elway. I can only hope and pray that they will fade because I have no way to control them yet. Hang in there and know this community is here for you.

Hi Lioness. My wife chose the same path only weeks ago. Fortunately there are no kids in my case, but the emotional ties to a spouse are there and I feel many many of the same emotions you are going through. However, advice I can not give. BUT, I can tell you that there are people out there this very moment sharing the anguish you feel. Just knowing that fact alone has helped me bit by bit. Good luck, this is a great community and its here for you.

Why does the pain hurt worse on random days? The stomache aches, shakey movements, anxiousness (anxious of what though???) .... sometimes they hit me like a ton of bricks and stay with me all day .. no matter how busy I try to keep myself? I maybe thinking my dreams affect my days. I dream about my ex (sometimes nightmarish) and I wake up feeling horrible. Can these dreams set the tone of my day? If so, what can I do about them ... their freaken dreams and I dont have much control over them. I have tried to fall asleep to TV and/or movies so that my last thoughts are not about this divorce ... but that doesnt seem to help. Any ideas?

I read the first and last page, so sorry if I state something already stated. I am going through a divorce right now, two weeks old about. With my emotional state, maybe I shouldnt post, but I feel the need to input. Can I ask you, even though married so young, if you left John, would you marry again? Likely atleast? If so, you might want to consider the same situation playing out again, and there is definitely no gaurantee it wont. I just ask that you re-evaluate the purpose or meaning of marriage. If it can only be maintained by a feeling or a chemistry, something so delicate and fickle, whats the purpose of marriage? Just questions to ponder, I certainly mean no disrespect.

Alone, empty, betrayed deceived, embarrassed, insecure hurt, pain, stomachaches lack of eating, angry, confused depressed, worried, stressed, time at a stand still, lost, suicidal scared, cursed, sick shakey, nervous, anxious tired, restless, broken lack of sleep, lack of nutrients bored, needy, Alone

Yah, I think a journal will be a good step.... Its going to be a long time for me to be able to trust again.

Hey all, new to the forums ... so I have spent the last hour or so reading these forums and it seems to be quite the tranquil place full of words of wisdom and hope. So, I apologize for 'another' story, but I feel the need to write mine ... So I met my wife a little over four years ago. It was the love at first sight kinda deal, sorta. The first time we hung out we ended up spending the entire day together on a whim. Three years later we marry. Now, before I continue, let me preface my wife. She grew up in a home of ill attention, distant awkward relationships, control, and most importantly fabrication of the truth. She grew to become such a passive person, all she knew was fleeing and lying from conflict (conversation and a simple NO were not an ability she knew well). So I had to deal with some small and big lies but I felt it was a character flaw that was learned and thereforeeee can be unlearned or changed if you prefer. A little over a year into what I thought a beautiful marriage we run into troubles. VERY long story short, I find out there is another man along with more lies and deception uncovered. So we are two weeks into seperation with divorce papers already making the rounds. Worst yet, I "found out" while she was "away" and she wouldnt pick up her phone so I texted her and left some voicemails with 98374389274 questions because I was so confused. I came back from work on Monday (she left Friday) and half the house is empty, her rings left, but not even a note. I have yet to see or speak to her, as she changed her phone number, didnt report to work until just a few days ago (because she was TOO upset ... man the nerve of that woman ... she runs off and moves in with another man and she is too upset to work). I was a loving husband and everything I could to be one. I have flaws yes, but as everyone is telling me I cant blame myself. I didnt abuse her, I didnt marry my job, I payed attention to her, etc. This infidelity was from left field. All friends and family are beffudled, but not half as bad as me. Its just funny how you can share such intimate moments with someone and no less than 2 hours later be lied to and have your entire world turned upside down by the same person. Thanks for reading, any comments or whathaveyou are more than welcome.