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jeffreyt

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Everything posted by jeffreyt

  1. jeffreyt
    karchino, Thanks for asking going well today I actually just sent you a private message hope you don't mind.
  2. jeffreyt
    didyoumissme, Hey we agree alot don't we, maybe that's why we're both in the same situation hahaha.
  3. jeffreyt
    Allie, I guess that depends on if you still have feeling for him or not. My story is kinda similiar here it is if you care to read it and I tried to stay friends right after our split which she wanted but my feelings are still very strong for her that I couldn't do it so have since gone to NC which is also very tough but it helps me to start the healing process. So I think it's depends on how you feel right now towards him in my opinion if your feelings are still very strong towards him it will be very difficult to be friends right now. Good Luck and if you need any help alot of people willhelp you here.
  4. jeffreyt
    didyoumissme, Thanks alot see it pays off to finally think with my head rather then your heart. It looks like we'll be heading to day 11 tomorrow, stay strong and thanks for your support I'm here if you need me.
  5. jeffreyt
    gainen, I know the feeling I spent most of my work day yesterday(good thing I'm the boss haha) thinking about sending an email to her and thanks to some people in here decided not to send it.(I was just going to say why I"m doing NC nothing good would have came from that)
  6. jeffreyt
    didyoumissme, Hey girl I'm with you we're both on day 10 yesterday was tough but got through it, plus this morning was kinda weird since the ex works right next door to my office we both got out of our cars the same time and we both looked at each other and I smiled and waved no reason to be a jerk it's just not me. Stay strong and thanks for the help.
  7. jeffreyt
    didyoumissme, Thanks I know the right thing to do just always better hearing from other people like you thanks for being there you're the best Jeff
  8. jeffreyt
    thanks both of you for your help just been a tough day debating on sending that email or not ughhhh.
  9. jeffreyt
    lioness, wow I'm sorry, be strong wow what a jerk is right I would never write something like that. Good Luck.
  10. jeffreyt
    kellbell, thanks I'll trust your judgement I won't send anything, I maybe asking for your help if she emails me which I'm pretty sure she will here is a woman that would email over 30 times a day during the work day lol.
  11. jeffreyt
    kellbell, you're awesome thanks alot but just an FYI I wasn't sending an email to tell her how I feel or beg her to come back nothing like that.
  12. jeffreyt
    kellbell, wow you are really waking me up the only thing that's bothering me is that our last conversation on the phone wasn't very nice and it wasn't the way I wanted to end our talking if you know what. I mean that's the only reason I was thinking of sending an email not getting crazy or anything I don't know your a woman I'll trust your opinion.
  13. jeffreyt
    CBR, So when you say closure for me do you mean complete closure to the relationship or am I miss reading your post.
  14. jeffreyt
    kellbell, Thanks alot it's great to hear form other people on here it really helps. I kinda new the answer but it's always better to hear it from someone else. I agree I need to focus on myself like you said. I can't lie it's hard we were inseparable for the 4 months when you were a marriage that wasn't very good for that long and then find someone that really appreciated everything you did it makes it hard but that's life I'll deal with it. Thanks again for your help I'lljust take one day at a time I do believe she will contact me sometime soon and if she does should I respond back?
  15. jeffreyt
    CBR, I really agree add to the fact she's alot younger then me she doesn't need to deal with this, but I even though my divorce wasn't finalized we weren't getting back together(I know that's not a excuse not to finalize this) but I actually waited 7 months before I started to dating anyone just was out having fun after being separated(and she did know the situation when we started dating but I stilled dragged my feet)thne I met this woman and we just hit it off great and she did know my situation I didn't lie to her but I agree 100% I need to focus on ME but obviously I still hold hopes of us getting back together down the road once I get my life to somewhat normal but if we don't get back this time away will let me start the healing process. I do think it's best we both just give each other time and see what happens but my question is should send her an email stating this or just continue to do NC. I was married 13 years.
  16. jeffreyt
    Let me explain my situation I'm in my 8 day of no contact after starting with LC and I'm wondering if my situation warrants the NC and would appreciate the any feedback. My ex resently broke off our 4 month relationship stating this that she wasn't happy and couldn't deal with the stress and drama that was brought on from mostly my ex wife who made over 100 hasassing phone calls(basically just calling and hanging up) they stopped after we had the police call her and hearing many other things that my ex wife said about her(that was my mistake for telling her what my ex wife was saying bad move on my part even though she wanted to know) and also she was upset that I've dragged my feet finalizing my divorce(i've been separated over a year and basically have waited to sell our house before finalizing this divorce I know it wasn't a good reason at all) plus I have no intention of getting back with my ex wife she's been living with a guy for 10 months and I'm very happy as well. So when she told me this I actually agreed with her and felt it was the best thing to do and I made a commitment to focus on ME and giving her space away from the situation and I was focused on finalizing my divorce which we are moving along with it and it should be done soon but we continued to have LC which I have to admit was very difficult but because I felt she made alot of sense in her reasoning for not being happy I tried to jus t have LC and not total NC. I was letting her basically initiate any contact then she had called me about a 10 days ago and just to talk and told me she just needed time away from the situation and just wanted to spend time with her friends and herself wasn't interested in even being with any guys or dating anyone and I said ok. Then a few days later I was out with my buddies at this bar and then I see her walk in holding some guys hand walking in the bar needless to say my blood pressure went through the roof and I was so upset that she lied to me so when she walked away from him I confronted her and told her I didn't appreciate being lied to(trust me I wasn't this nice like I'm saying it now) and then I stormed out of there needless to say she texted me and called me at 4am to talk and I never answered she again called in the morning and apoligized and said he was really just a friend(whatever) So basically talked and told how hurt I was that she did that to me and spilled my guts alittle telling her how much I cared about her and then we ended the conversation and nothing was said about having NC or anything the call just ended and since then I have had NC for 8 days now and she hasn't contacted me either and I'm wondering what everone thoughts our if this situation warrants NC and should I have told her that I wouldn't be contacting her and don't think I could be friends right now. I do believe that the best thing I can do is work on myself and finalize my divorce I think that would show her that wasn't just talking and finally taking action, it's funny we even talked about this we both said the next time she wants to hear my ex wifes name is when we sign the divorce papers. It's hard for me to be totally upset at her decision on why she wasn't happy but then she lied ot me and now I'm kinda torn on what to do. I would appreciate some feedback on this thanks Jeff
  17. jeffreyt
    Wow great post iceman it's really helpful NC for 6 days now and it's helping alot reading all these great post.
  18. jeffreyt
    didyoumissme, Hey thanks for the message I sent you one back
  19. jeffreyt
    SuperDave, How come I knew you were going to say that ughhh. The part I'm having a hard time figuring out is if and when they start contacting you how do you know when to respond back to either a call, text, or email. There are so many different scenerios that can happen what if she leaves a voice mail saying she needs to talk about us and our future, just an example is there a science behind when to finally respond or what. Just a little confused on this, but I'm actually just trying to focus on myself and not worry about her what she's thinking. Thanks for help Jeff
  20. jeffreyt
    SuperDave, Thanks your help it's great to hear your comments. It's been almost a full week hard to believe don't laugh at this one but we had a record 31 emails to each other one day during work hours kinda crazy but actually I'm proud of myself for not emailing her even once this week to go from 31 emails responses to 0 is pretty impressive I deserve a drink for that lol. Plus the fact that she works right next door to my business It's amazing I haven't walked over there to say hello so I think the NC is working for ME. I think I know the answer to this but I have feeling she will email me soon asking how is everything going and since I never really said anything about me needing time for myself I was wondering what are your thoughts of sending an email like this I believe you mentioned something like to say in an another post. Your thought please. Hello everything is going fine thanks been really busy with work. I know you needed your space and I’m just taking time for myself and really want to focus on ME right now and do not need distractions. I’m taking time out to focus on what my needs, wants and desires are.
  21. jeffreyt
    SuperDave, you're the man what a great help you've been it's greatly appreciated wow I'm in day 6 of NC and yesterday was a bad day until I started reading this thread it really helped me alot here is my story about our breakup and how I almost sent this email out to her yesterday good think I thought with my head instead of my heart I would assume everyone agrees that would have been foolish to send out that email. Now I think I realize why she wants to remain friends right now(sorry it won't happen)
  22. jeffreyt
    didyoumissme, Likewise with you and thanks help I may take you up on your offer if I need it Day 6 of NC today I feel really good wow what a difference a day makes if you get a chance and you haven't already read through some of the thread below do yourself a favor and go through I went through 50 post last night and it really help me and that's what this is all about ME and not her. Good Luck to you and great day. Jeff
  23. jeffreyt
    Some great stuff here I'm on day 5 of NC and today was the toughest day yet not sure why but it was feel better right now then earlier when I almost sent an email ughhhhh good thing I didn't my question is I live in a small town and I know I'm going to run int o her sometime soon plus we work out at the same place thought I kinda changed my work out time but eventally I will see her out what is the best way to react when you see you ex out, or what if she sends me an email saying how is everything? Any feedback would be greatly appreicated
  24. jeffreyt
    Part of me yes I want to move on but I can't fake it my heart is still tellimg me I want to be with her and I think the next I would contact her is when I finalize my divorce(which we talked about when we split up actually I said it will be the next time you hear my ex wifes name which I think that will show her I took action on what iwas saying instead of just lip service) Thanks for your advice and other opinion on why I shouldn't sent would be welcomed and I agree not to send the email.
  25. jeffreyt
    I forgot to add that for the most part until what happen Friday I agreed with her and was focusing on myself and finalizing this divorce(and she said that was the smartest thing I said) so I'm kinda torn on how to handle this and if I should even send this email or should I rephase it. Any help would be appreciated
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