jeffreyt

Well Let me tell alittle of my story my ex broke off our relationship of 4 months about 2 weeks ago with someone younger then me but we had a great time and spent a ton of time with each when I didn't have my daughter it was spent with her we went on a few trips together just had an awesome time and she basically stating resently she wasn't happy and couldn't deal with the stress and drama in our relationship mostly due to the fact that my ex wife(well almost ex wife we are finalizing our divorce soon and of course she wasn't happy that I've been separated for over a year and hadn't finalized this and yes she's right about that I just dragged my feet even though my ex wife has been living with a guy for 10 months) harassed her with over 100 hang up phone calls to her cell phone(the calls stopped once we went to the police and they called her) but I kept tellingher all the things my ex would say about(I know very stupid on my part even though she kept asking I should have know better) But a week after this she called me to talk since we were still having LC and basically said she needed her space and was interested in going out with any guys at all just spending time with her self and her friends and when we finished the call she said callme if you want which I thought was odd but she did state that she would like to stay friends for now which I agreed to at first but then friday this happen I was out with my friends at this bar having a great time until I looked up and say my ex walk in holding some guys hand and all over him needless to say my blood pressure went thru the roof I was so hurt that she lied to me about she said so she was standing there with her girlfriend I went up and conforted and told her how wrong that was to lie to me and I said I know I can't control you going out with someone but the lying was wrong and stormed out of there needless to say she texted me at 2am and then called me at 4am which I didn't answer the phone and called again in the morning and this time I answered and she apoligized but tried to say he was just really a friend(which I have a hard time believing lol) I kinda told her some things on my feelings and that was hurt that I was lied to and basically that was the end of the conversation since then I have gone to NC and she hasn't tried to connect me either my question is should I send her this email explaining why I have connected her back or just let it go and continue the NC. Here is the email I was thinking of sending I would appreciate your thoughts I know you're wondering why I haven't contacted you since last week but I was obviously upset that you lied to me, but I'm doing fine I gave myself a few days to grieve but then I gave myself a kick in the butt. I'm not going to dwell on a situation I can't change you made a decision and I respect it and nothing I can do that will change that right now so why dwell on it , I'm getting excited about meeting some new people, but I don't think it's a good idea about being friends right now I need support and I can't get that support from you my subject of distress and I just can't go instantly into friend mode I'd be locked into a pattern of wanting someone and existing in emotional hell while you grow and develop that doesn't really seem fair to me It's just really hard for me to keep in touch with you right now because I still care for you but I need to heal and move on and I feel it would be best for both of us if we take some time apart from each other. thereforeeee, I would ask that for now you not contact me unless something changes on how you feel but that window of opportunity will not be open forever. Please understand that this is so that I can begin to heal, which is hard to do when I am reminded through contact with you what I have lost. Thank you for respecting my feelings." With Love Jeff

I'm not sure why today my 5th day is so tough with the NC I wanted to actually email her this morning I'm happy I didn't wow is this normal to have these days I actually looked out my window this morning to see her drive by since she works right next door. Then I almost gave the mail man this lipstick she wanted that I got on ebay to give to her since he goes to her work after he leaves my office Am I being crazy. I would hope I'm not the only one who does things like this during this time. Any support would be greatly appreciated.

Does anyone have the link to the sermon?

andrew, trust me do what I did I deleted my myspace I really didn't use it much anyhow basically just to talk to her and some of her friends but trust me you'll drive yourself crazy if you continue to check her myspace out. Stay strong my friend I'm in day 5 of NC and it gets better everyday just remember this and say it everyday "I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life".

didyoumissme, I've read all your post and I'm impressed how strong you have stayed even though you broke down I know this has to be very hard for you I'm in my 5 day NC and it's very tough but I feel so much better about myself everyday don't get me wrong I miss her dearly(it doesn't help that she works right next door to my business ughhh) but every morning I wake up I keep saying this to myself and it helps "I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life". It helps so much to read post from other people and talking to them in here Also I tried the friend thing too it's just way to hard we are in no condition to be a friend under these circumstances Iread this from someone on another threat and it's so true we need support and we just can't get form the person who is causing the distress we just can't go into to friend mode, when we haven't accepted the loss of the relationship. We would be locked into a pattern of wanting someone and existing in an emotional hell, while your partner grows and develops. That really doesn't seem fail does it? It doesn't work until both parties have heeled and become their own person again.

Day 5 today of NC still holding up well(I think lol) obviously it's still tough miss her alot it's actually amazing I have gone this long considering we used to email each other all day actually the record was 31 times in 8 hour day of work she kinda got in trouble from the company she works for haha, but I'm staying focused on alot of things myself & my daughter which helps me alot I think at this point we all wish we could read minds and see what they are thinking(or maybe I wouldn't want to know lol) Actually went out last night with a bunch of friends and actually talked to this one girl for awhile which was nice and even after some drinks last night didn't text her anything(I'm even impressed with that) This is NC is very tough writing in here has helped so much as well as reading alot of these post in here keep them coming they definitely help. I keep telling myself this evey morning "I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life".

kachino, thanks for the response it helps but I really am doing much better this week since I started the NC. Well taking another job is not an option since this is my business lol, but she will be quiting her job at the end of August to go back to school, also I've stopped going to places I know she will be at for time being like we would work out together(spinning) 3 times a week now I just go a different time just not comfortable seeing her right now. I think you need to go out with that guy that said he likes you. Thanks again

karchino, thanks for the post I appreciate it. Geez I used to love that she worked right next door to my business now I hate it lol I didn't need to see her pull in this morning when I was getting out of my car it was weird!!!

Well day 4 of the NC starts today I feel much better everyday(I think I do lol) This is much better then LC I feel more in control and have started the healing process that being said of course I still miss her dearly and during this time it sucks that she works right next door to my business(I really want to walk over there and say why haven't you contacted me yet lol) but really I have the attitude now and keep telling myself this "I don't care how hard this is, I don't care how disappointed I am, I'm not going to let this get the best of me. I'm moving on with my life". Thanks for all the feedback it helps alot any more comments would be great appreciated. Thanks Jeff

My plan is to get back with her but only under the right situation or I don't think I would even respond back. I assuming she going to ask how I'm doing just basic things just to keep me around or do I tell her at this point that I don't think small talk is any good for me now.

I read alot on here about "no contact" I'm on my third day of this and it helping me alot don't get me wrong I still miss her but this really helps the healing process but my question is I believe my ex will email me soon at work(kinda sucks that she works right next to my business ughhh) since we would email each other like 20 to 30 times a day(i know how did I get any work done lol) my question is when she does email me I know I will wait at least a few hours before I respond but what is the best way to respond to her. should I be very vague on my response? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Jeff

Iceman we talked on another thread hang in there my friend we 're all with you, wow great stuff here blender what a great post I'm going through something similiar only my second day of NC it's tough but I'm dealing with it and I keep telling myself this it will help "I don't care how hard this is, I don't care how disappointed I am, I'm not going to let this get the best of me. I'm moving on with my life". My question is and I know majord psoting something about this on another thread but I just wanted some other opinion what happens when she contacts you how do you respond like if she emails me or calls or send me a text message.