littlemiss26

I was abused as a child by my step-father, I have since dealt with this by going through therapy. It was the fact that something sim almost happened to my little girl, while in his care. Now he knew everything that had happened to me I was always open and honest with him about it all. He also knew about the patterns of behaviour and how certain situations would affect me. This is something we have always been open and honest about. I thought he understood. I let my partner know that I needed some space and time out as I had tried to dicuss things with him as we always have done. I wanted to help him understand, as much for him as for me. He came back from his weekend and informed me that I had to change, I am the one who is changing for the better. He's the one who never changes, never accepts responsibility for his mistakes as I do. He always tells me that I am at fault! I now believe that he met someone else while he was away as he can't even look at me let alone talk to me.

As much as you deserve an explanation, be prepared as you might not get one, or he may give you one you didn't want to hear. All you can do is be strong for you and remember that you are not at fault no matter what he might come up with.

I think that you have done the right thing. Why put yourself in a position to receive more pain. Stick to your guns.

Where to start! I'm not one to share my problems with other people but I thought that if it was all down in black and white that it might make more sense and anyways it's not like I'm ever going to bump into anyone walking down the street. So here goes; I met my partner a few years back we hit it off straight away and were really good friends, we took things slow as I have two children from a previous Failed relationship. Things were going great till summer 05. Something happened to my little girl that brought back a lot of bad memories for me and I started to put a wall up between my partner and I. As a result our relationship started to fall apart, I didn't want him anywhere near me ( not because I didn't love him but because I was in my own world of pain from the past and I felt like I didn't deserve him) couldn't stand him touching me. Needless to say we ended up with no sex life, we have one now kind of! I then made a really bad mistake I stayed out one night all night! I just needed space time to think, time to just float by like nothing else mattered. My partner thought that I had cheated on him (and he still does to this day) even though I explained everything to him about how I was feeling. We have some how muddled through and are still together just. My partner has a problem with the booze and it can sometimes make him very difficult to talk to, which according to him is my problem. He now has this idea that we should move half way around the world and start over again like everything would be great if we did that. I have no intention of moving away, I have my family round the corner, then there is also the children, I have my work and my friends. I would be insane to when things are how they are with us. I love him so much but not enough to put my family through that much. I told him that I wasn't going to move anywhere when things were like this and his answer was to go through the west coast on a bender with mates! So if any of you have any advice that would be great. Thanks for reading.

It's cool. Hope you find the link useful. Take it easy.

Here's a link for you to try. Tools for Coping with Personal Growth, relationships and communication. link removed

Congrats on your new job. Well done, hope it all works out for you.

I don't think you have to believe in god or a higher power either but some of the steps do make good points.

Her common welfare should come first.

Twelve Steps 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made a direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Ok, bad idea on my part. Speed Dating could be a fun way to meet new women and boost your confidence.

It's a date then. So you have been on a date.

Did you ask her to the dance?

Do you have any female friends who could take you out with them?? Maybe if you spent some time in female company that would help.

If you think that your unattractive then other people will pick up on it. You need to have some confidence in how you look. You do look like a really nice guy. It will happen patience is a virtue.