Jabbe

It's strange because we never get into it while we're in person, but being on the phone is a whole different story. She's not like that all the time, and it's pretty rare. I agree that she tries to manipulative, but what she does doesn't get to me more than the fact than she's actually doing it. When she tries to make me jealous, it always fails because I'm not the jealous type. I just laugh along as she says what she wants to say. Living in the same house? I can imagine that things would be better. She's normally very sweet, kind, mature, loyal, honest, considerate, and respectful. She just wants me to herself and doesn't really like it when I associate with other people besides her. I think it makes her jealous. She doesn't have major reactions but gets sad just because she wishes she could be with me. She doesn't even want me to visit my friends this weekend.

The relationship is fine. We've just been dealing with frustration because it's now an LDR. I've just never seen her be so spiteful. It was like she was mad just because I had to communicute with someone else for a split second. Whenever I have something that I need to do, she always says "Is...more important than me?"

I can see what you guys are saying and I can say that I agree. I just haven't cooled off yet. The story: She called me and wanted to talk, but I was busy so I told her I would call her right back. I did just like I always do, but it seemed like she was upset just because I had something to take care of for only about 2 minutes. We get back on the phone and she does the following INTENTIONALLY just to get under my skin: 1.Hummed while I was trying to talk to her (3 different times) 2.Tried to make me jealous by telling me about how she's hit on all the time 3.PRETENDED like she fell asleep on the phone 4.Wouldn't respod to me while I was talking to her I didn't do ANYTHING AT ALL to deserve such immature treatment. It just goes hand in hand. I don't intentionally treat her like a child, but the coincedence is that when she decides to act like one I treat her like one. It's second nature. It offended me, and I wasn't going to be all "Oh, it's okay baby walk over me all you want, but I'll still love you no matter what" about it. I'm a human being with emotions and self-respect. What she did was so out-of-character that it shocked and disappointed me. We had already discussed it, but she just wouldn't admit that she was doing it on purpose. I've known her for a long time and see right through her. She's done that once in the past. Once again, we already talked it out. I'm just not even in the mood to hear her voice right now.

My fiancee did something immature that disappointed me. I called her out on it and told her how upset I was with her. Even though it made her feel bad, I also told her that I don't think I want to talk to her the next day (we normally talk everyday). She knew what she was trying to do to me and it backfired. A few hours have passed since then and I'm still disappointed and don't have the desire to speak. I know that she'll be wanting to speak with me tomorrow, so I turned my phone off. I love her, but I've let her slide and have been passive with too many things. I see this as a way of "punishing" her as well. If I can be "in the doghouse," then why can't she? I look at it as negative reinforcement. I'm not doing this to play games or hurt her anymore than she may be already. The fact remains that she got herself into this and, now she's going to have to face the consequences of her actions. Plain and simple. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think it's wrong that I'm choosing not to speak with her?

I'm sorry that it had to end for you in that way. I don't know what it is, but I think that when some people go away like that, they become a little immature when it comes to the one they say they love and care about so much. It's like since we're the ones back at home "waiting" they ALWAYS have the "upper hand." They know we are missing them like crazy and would give anything just for a second to be together. How old are you two? I'm 20 and my finacee is 18. I just don't get how people can claim commitment to someone and do such things. It annoys me just thinking about it. I hope other females didn't turn out to be the case. My fiancee replied to the mail I wrote, and we've come to the conclusion that we are both frustrated from missing each other so much, mentally and physically. She thought that I was doing some of the same things mentioned. Of course it wasn't true at all. My next plan of action is to just wait this out. Trying harder for her attention only makes me seem desperate and clingy, so I'll just keep myself occupied. I really hope that you feel better. I've been broken up before and know just how that feels. Soon or later your ex will definitely realize that he missed out on being with someone truly special.

My fiancee has been away for quite some time now (military). She finished her basic training a few months ago, and now we get to communicate more often. Everything has been going great up until about last week. Now, it's like she doesn't even pay as much attention to me or consider me as much as she used to. Everytime I would text her, she would reply. Now, it's like she just glances at my messages without a thought of getting back to me. Sometimes, I think she actually makes me wait. She doesn't even text me during the day to show that she's thinking of me. She'll do it in the morning not just to do it but because she feels obligated to, yet she wants me to text her every single chance I get. There are also times when I know that she isn't doing much, yet she still won't respond to my messages. When we get on the phone shortly during the day, she always says that she has to go because of minutes. I think to myself "If you knew we couldn't talk much in the first place, then why would you call me?" She also used to tell me exactly why she had to get off the phone, but now I have to ask and it makes me feel like I'm clingy or something. All she says now is "I have to go," yet she ALWAYS asks me WHY I have to go. Then there are things that she will do just to test me like being somewhere and having another guy in the background. I'm not the jealous type, so it doesn't bother me, but we don't get to talk and I'm missing her like crazy as it is. There's no room for games like that. When we are on the phone, she doesn't pay much attention and can be very insulting. We are going in circles over this, and I just want it to stop once and for all. We try to talk about it, but it's like it goes over her head, so I wrote her. (PM me if you would like to read the email I sent her.) Latley, talking about making love and how much we want to be with each other has been the easiest of things to discuss. Could sexual frustration cause something like this? I'm looking forward to what you all think of this. Thanks

I don't know the exact size she wanted, but the ring she wants is 3 stone, princess cut, and platinum ($2,000-$4,000 I've seen so far). I've already found a white gold one that is very identical to it for much less.

I talked to her about it, and she is willing to compromise. It's seems that she's concerned about the size of the diamonds now, but she's just going to have to get over it. I told her I would upgrade it if she's good (^_^). She may be going far away, and I definitely don't want her getting robbed. It works out for us both! Thanks for your replies!

Thank you all for your replies! The majority of you are on the same wavelength as I am when it comes to this. I still have quite a few hours left to talk to her about it. Sometimes she can be spoiled because she loves having her way. If she is willing to settle for what I can afford at the moment, it would definitely show how much consideration she has for me. That would be a HUGE relief and make me SO happy!

The issue came up today while we were talking on the phone. I did some searching to see exactly what she was talking about. That was when I found out about the pricing. I'll have this conversation with her later tonight. I really hope that she understands. I love her so much and don't want things to go sour on her part just because of this.

I can agree to that. I wouldn't really call it going cheap though. It's just that I'll have many finances that I'll have to take care of soon such as a car, school, etc. It would hurt me to fall behind and end up having to get the ring back.

She is in the military, so we currently can't see each other but we talk everyday. She comes back in a few weeks, but after that she may have to go overseas for awhile. She wants a ring before then.

I'm concerned about letting my girlfriend down when it comes to getting her an engagement ring. I know exactly what she wants and it's out of my price range. There were 2 things that crossed my mind: 1) Go ahead and tell her that it's out of my range at the moment and hope that she understands. 2) Get her a similar ring but in white gold in hopes that she can't tell the difference. I know how important a ring like this can be, but I feel that there should at least be some form of compromise. I feel that how much the ring costs shouldn't hold a candle to the love and commitment behind it. I'd appreciate any advice or opinions!

I just found out that this will be possible. (^_^)

I agree. It's horrible. I tried and there's really nothing else I can do. It worked out in a way because a family member that she hasn't seen for awhile is back in town, so I'll let him take my place. This means that I can surprise her by showing up to her graduation. As of now, she thinks that I'm not coming. I'll find away and surprise them all.

She basically wants a man that would be good enough for her daughter. For some reason, she has the impression that I'm sitting around at home mooching off my parents when I've been trying to move out and go to school for the past 2 years. My parents are having credit and bill problems. If I leave, there is a strong possibility that they may lose the house they've worked so hard for. I can't do that to them. Because they've taken care of me, I feel I should return the favor, but not for too much longer. I've even decided to take up getting in a different degree at a local college. I'll focus on the main one I want later on down the road. I think what she was really trying to say was "don't be like my husband." All he does is sit around all day while she works at least 3 different jobs. I was surprised when she actually tried to level with me, and understood where I was coming from with the whole situation about my parents. My girl has told me that they always say such bad things about me behind my back. I guess the reason that they don't like me is because they feel that I am brainwashing her and trying to take her away from them. It's definitely paranoia on their part. I have nothing but the best intentions for us.

I called and talked to her mom. She said that she doesn't think she could stand to be in a car with me for 30 minutes. As the conversation went on, it seemed like she was swaying, but maybe it was just my optimism. I know for a fact that her dad wouldn't want me anywhere near him without question. It's just a lost cause. I tried, people. It looks like I may have to try and figure out the alternatives. I really hope they allow me to walk on. I'll call tomorrow and find out. I really appreciate your opinions and do think that it would've worked out better in the long run if we all went together. The only thing her mom asks of me is to not be a failure, so this shouldn't make things much worse than they already are. If I can find a way without anyone knowing, it would be a tremendous surprise for her to see me there. It's sort of like saying "I'll find ways to be there for you no matter what." I'd appreciate any further comments!

I guess I'll just bite the bullet and see what happens. I'm just hoping that they don't try to ditch me at the last moment, and make up some story about why I "couldn't" go. I guess I'll update you all as soon as I get word. It's also possible that they would say no. Wish me luck!

We're in separate states, btw.

Hmm? I don't know why that never crossed my mind. I'll try to find out. Thanks!

My girlfriend graduates boot camp next month. The problem is that they only give a one vehicle pass. The other problem is that her parents don't like me at all, and have threatened me on many occasions and even say bad things about me behind my back. I have never even done anything at all to deserve that and don't know where it's coming from. She really wants me to go to her graduation, but of course I don't really want to be stuck in the car with her parents for hours upon hours. I planned on this alternative: Take a bus or rent a car to get there. I won't be able to see the graduation, but we will be more likely to spend some alone time together. I could possible stay longer too. What do you think?

I disagree. Even when I became sexually active, there was a time where I didn't have any for over a year. It didn't drive me nuts nor was it constantly on my mind. Things like that depend on the individual.

Thanks for your replies! I live in the states, and I'm 20yrs old. I plan to go to to ARTI in Orlando (Audio Engineering). I'm hoping to attend full time. Living expenses has been the main thing on my mind. I don't know if my parents still claim me, but I can surely check. I though about community college also, but no other types of degrees appeal to me.

I've been a high school graduate for 2yrs now, and I'm still trying my best to get to school. I really want to go in January). The only problem I have is money. I've been trying my best to save by only getting things that I actually need (I've been called cheap because I never really WANT much). Anyway, I've been stuck at home chipping in with bills here and there. House payments also. I'm just ready to get on with my life, but it seems hard to get there because of my finacial situation. I don't have bad credit or anything. I'm just lacking money. I thought about saving as much as I can for living expenses and then trying to get a student loan once I'm attending. This school is gonna cost about $18,225. I sat down and realized that I can't afford it, so a loan is pretty much my best option. I don't even have a car yet (would have, but it's a long story). I just got a new job and plan to get one at the end of the month. Save about $1000 and get a $2000 loan from my bank to get a decent car (one that won't break down on me) for at least $3000. I don't have any experience with this type of thing, so any advice and suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I just want to get this part of my life over with.