Jabbe

My girl left for the military a few days ago. Since then, I've been feeling so lost, empty, and confused. Everything that I had was put into her. Now that she's away, it's hard to even want to do anything at all. Nothing feels right. We'll keep in touch through letters, and I'm sure I'll get to see her in October. It just seems so far away. I've decided to keep a journal for all the time she is away, and let her have it once she comes back. I think it would be great for her to know my deep personal thoughts on things while she's been gone. We've been apart before, but this feels so different. I'm sure it's because in this time, we both have to pretty much setup our lives. I've honestly been feeling lots of pressure and have even come to question my career choice. I just want to be financially stable for us both. I'm afraid that she'll think differently of me if I don't do this in time. We've made it clear that we really want to be in each other's lives forever. Marriage is a definite possibilty. After I get out of school is the time we will consider it. I'll become her military spouse. It feels like this is all I have to look forward to because it's honestly all I want. In the meantime, I'll do everything I can to build my career and save as much as I can. Right now, I'm just so down and want to sleep all of this away. I know I have to stay motivated in order to make our future together as bright as possible. It's just going to take some time for me to get used to her not being around. What do you think of this?

Well, we took 2 tests yesterday and they turned up negative. Does this make it official or is there still a possibility?

Well, I've been with my girl for quite some time now. Things aren't bad at all between us and I really feel like we can take it to that level. I've heard many bad things and many great things about it. We just feel that we are meant for each other. There are many people that say "You should date and see what else is out there," or "You're so young!" Those concepts don't really fly with us because we've already made the decision to always be together no matter what. I'm 20 and she's 18. It seems that we've both found everything we could ever want in a person in each other. We wouldn't be married soon, but maybe within 2-3yrs it can come to be. Although we've done lots of talking about it, we are in no way rushing things. Right now, we're focusing on making our individual lives as best we can before uniting. There's a lot to be taken care of before we take that step. Any thoughts?

At first, I always thought of it as a bit strange, but when I got into it, it was a whole different story. I was always afraid of sounding strange by not saying certain things in a certain way. I just tell her exactly what I would do to her if she was with me. Suprisingly, it gets her hot and wet while I'm feeling I haven't even said enough.

A friend of mine went through a similiar situation as me. His wife's period came 3 weeks later. We're going to wait just a little, then I'll have her get a test. Thanks for your information!

Honestly, it's great to enjoy sex, but once you find that you end up with an unplanned pregnancy or get an STD, you'll definitely wish you were more responsible. Things like that can turn your world upside down and cause so much stress. I just don't plan on having kids anytime soon because it would change my entire lifestyle, and all of my goals will be on hold. It would be the same for my girl. We just want to get as far as we can as individuals and plan our lives together down the road. We've discussed what it would be like to have a child right now. She wouldn't be able to leave for the military, and we would have to move in together and focus only on supporting our child. This is why we are so cautious. The sex is still very enjoyable as well! Condoms don't take away THAT much feeling. The thought of her getting pregnant never even crosses my mind, so I can definitely relax more. There's just to much at risk being unprotected. It's possible you can precum and get her pregnant. It's possible that you might not pull out in time. All it takes is one sperm and one egg to form the biggest responsibility anyone can have. So, if you're not ready for kids or a disease you can have for the rest of your life. I strongly suggest protection and your partner using some form of birth control.

Thanks for your replies! I believe it's stress, so we'll just wait a few days to see what happens.

My girl and I have had sex a few times. She's been on the pill, and I've always been using protection. I withdraw everytime as well, even though I'm wearing a condom. Everything has been fine with condoms not breaking. I don't see the possibility of her being pregnant because of how cautious and responsible we've been. The thing is that she hasn't started her period yet (about 3 days late), and we're a little worried. She's been under lots of stress lately (there was a dramatic personal event). I'm thinking that's the cause of her period being late. How long should we wait? We would there be any signs if she is pregnant? What do you think about this?

Yes, this is the only time it's happened. If it does happen again then, I guess I should suggest that she see her gyno.

She said that it didn't hurt and that it felt weird. It was more in the center of her lower abdomen just above her bikini line. As for the rest of the sex, she said that it didn't hurt at all. What do you think it could be?

I remembered that the last time we had sex, my girl told me that she felt me in her stomach. I'm assuming that I must've been going really deep. She says her stomach, but where was I really? It's strange because when we do missionary, It seems that I can go "too deep" sometimes, and she normally keeps trying to push me in as far as I can go because she likes it, but when she gets on top, she takes it all the way in without a problem. Any thoughts?

Thanks, everyone! We had sex today, and she let me know that it didn't hurt AT ALL. She got into a lot more as well. I'm glad that she's fully comfortable and not nervous about it hurting. Since there were no "bugs" to work out this time, it was the best we've ever had! It was so different, felt so good, and blew my mind!

My girl and I have had sex 4 times, but it still seems to hurt her a bit. I don't go very deep, but it seems to hurt as soon as I penetrate her. Is this normal?

Thanks! It helps! I'll find out how she likes oral first, then move on to intercourse once it gets better. Focusing on one thing at a time should definitely make things easier! (^_^)

Thanks! I find that very comforting! I'll just keep going slow and trying to find what she likes as well. She's been very supportive, but I need her to open up just a little more.

You're absolutely right. I'm sure we can get through this by talking more about it. In my opinion, her views on sex are strange. You may as well say that she thinks all men should be expert lovers like they make them out to be in movies.

Hi, and thanks for your kind comments! I'm 20 and she's 18. We've known each other for quite some time and let the sexual aspect of our relationship build on its own. I must say that it's great to be able to share myself with the one I love! (^_^) When it comes to orgasm, my opinion is that one should know how his/her body works in terms of building the sensation to reach it. I feel that I haven't made her orgasm (body language), and found it strange when to told me that I must have made her at least 5 times (in one "session"). This didn't sound right at all. That's how I came to the conclusion that she has no idea how she works down there. She didn't even know where her clitoris was located, and basically wanted me to find it for her (same with her hymen). It's just strange when she asks me questions about her own body. I'm a guy! It puts so much pressure on me because I don't have a clue about working her body in a way to make her orgasm. I don't know what she likes, thereforeeee all I can do is experiment since she isn't willing to. The only advice I can give on that topic is based on what I've learned. When it comes to masturbation find a spot, technique, and rhythm you like and stick to it until it builds. I also believe it to be more mental than physical as well, and that this is why it can be difficult for some. I can only orgasm when I focus purely on the feeling of whatever the sexual activity may be. I really don't know if women work the same way.

Thanks for the information! I will definitely run it by her. I've heard stories about people hitting one's cervix and thought of it makes me feel a little sick for some reason. I cringe a little too. She communicates and is for some reason worried about pleasuring me. There's one more thing. Since we just started, she's also curious about orgasm. I find that this will be very difficult because she expects me to find out how her body works for her (she has never masturbated and seems to never will). That's a lot of pressure. I've given her oral before and she liked it. The second time I did it, I wasn't exactly gentle with her clitoris. When it comes to orgasm, is there anything that can be suggested? The only thing I can think of is finding something she likes and to just keep doing it.

I was also curious as to what a pap smear is. ???

Thanks for your reply! As for the pain, she's not the type to lie to me. I will stop going deep though. Sometimes she tells me to, but at other times she says "too deep." This is what confuses me. I definitely don't want her in any pain at all, so I'll just go halfway. So, it can actually lengthen? I didn't know this. I thought it only widens. Is it possible that it can lengthen enough to fully accommodate me or is it limited? Yes we are using protection and she is on the pill. (^_^)

At first is was a little difficult (tightness and breaking her hymen), but now we are finally able to have sex and it feels really good. Last Thurday was our 2nd time. She bled before this, but she bled a bit more the last time. I don't really know why she would bleed again unless I didn't really break her hymen that 1st time. Would it be a good idea to let her vagina "rest" or should we keep at it to get her body used to it? Any idea what it could be? She has also told me that sometimes it hurts when I go too deep, but the pain feels good. I'm pretty sure that I'm not hitting her cervix because I never feel anything stopping me from penetrating. I'm 7inches and she can fit it all in. Why do you think it would hurt to go deep?

Thanks! I'll let her know about the Kegels! I feel bad that it seems that it HAS to hurt, but I guess there's no way around that. Pain reduction is key. I'll do my best to get her to relax, LOL! (^_^)

LOL! Bite her ear? It was definitely worth knowing, but I'll stick with your non-recommendation.

What a relief! I was afraid that making love would turn out to be impossible for us. Talk about a weight being lifted, LOL! I agree with you both. While I was taking her home, I mentioned Kegel exercises, but it was hard for me to explain it to her. I guess I'll do some reading and give her what I find. If you know of any links, I would be grateful! As for toys, that crossed my mind too and I'm sure it would save lots of time. Anything right about now is good, so I'm gonna tossed that idea to her and gauge her reaction.

My girlfriend and I tried to have sex. The problem was that she was really tight when I tried to penetrate her. She was naturally lubricated, but it hurt when I barely put it in, and because I was no longer stimulated my erection would go away. Then, it would come back and we would try again. We used many condoms doing this too (warm sensations). It went on for at least 2 hours. It did go in further and further though... There was also a point where she wanted to try putting it in soft, but I was hard to get an erection and it kept slipping out. I'm just hoping that the pain doesn't discourage her. If there's a next time, I plan to use KY with the condom. The only position that we tried was missionary. Is there any other that could help? I slid my fingers inside her too, and I could barely push them in! Her hymen isn't broken either... I was also wondering if 7 inches can be too big. I know that women come in different shapes and sizes. I'm just hoping that mine isn't too small for me. Shouldn't the vagina be able to stretch more over time? I love her so much and want to make this work!