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blue boy

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  1. blue boy
    Juliette Turner - 'Broken Things' The Clash - 'Train in Vain'
  2. blue boy
    Either "insulted" or " disgusted"
  3. blue boy
    Well, it's only appropriate I end this thread as I started it ! Something of a microcosm of many relationships (but nort mine !!) Everybody started off feeling positive and full of energy. Developed into warm friendship with precious words and funny little asides. The occasional flirt with jealousy and infidelity as other members briefly came in to air their words; and finally a gradual process of less and less communication !! At least we haven't ended up hating each other ! No, to be serious everybody who has contributed to this thread has been excellent and I would like to thank you warmly. I am flying off for my sex change tomorrow so wish me well - think they have space for a lobotomy as well lgirl !! - "So there it was - merry christmas...." Charlotte
  4. blue boy
    That's the girl ! Start showing him how strong YOU are and believe in yourself and remember whenever you are down we are here to support you.
  5. blue boy
    I think it's all over ! (apart from the pain and the scars and the loss of self-confidence and the memories and the sleepless nights and the angst and the questions)
  6. blue boy
    Mizzy, Really sorry to hear about your break-up. Him giving you hope was cruel - although it just reflects how confused he is. You need to focus on yourself for a change, start being more aloof if he does contact you again, and try and regain the power you have lost. If somebody loves somebody enough nothing will get in the way of it, so the excuse about his 'dream' is a bit immature. The only thing I do know is that being a teacher myself - work can be very stressful sometimes and can even affectyour personality. I am sure you are going through a lot of pain right now , but if you can get through this you can get through anything in life. Please be strong.
  7. blue boy
    Thank you lgirl - I feel 'calmer' now !
  8. blue boy
    karma karma karma - I have never seen evidence of this karma - we will lose touch with our lovers and we won't even find out what happens to them ! sorry - it is the venting hour again ! newby - we are all here to give you wise counsel and help you, the anger is difficult to deal with - lgirl is the expert in these matters !
  9. blue boy
    On a warm beach sipping an expensive cocktail
  10. blue boy
    yun yun - I know you are in terribly upsetting situation - a hellish limbo where you probably realise you can't go back; but at the same time can't move on with anybody else. It's strange that I am offering advice as I feel exactly the same. Surely the fact that you are at least 'hit on' by men helps your self-esteem at least though. You must realise that one day you will recover but at the moment your brain is still full of swirling emotions and feelings i.e. like most of at this stage we are somewhat 'irrational' even though we might not admit to it. You really need to try and focus completely on yourself for a while and be selfish. I can guarantee eventually somebody will 'hold' your attention and your heart will start racing again. It won't till you are healing faster. The tough news for us all is that time moves inexorably slowly at the moment. I really hope things improve for you. meanwhile just 'hang' around with the rest of the wandering 'undead' on this site !!
  11. blue boy
    I know EXACTLY what each one of you are feeling - there is no feeling like it in the world - you are helpless, frustrated, sad, lonely, lack confidence and see no future. The advice you ahve been given by people is very sound and supportive. I certainly think the faster you can meet new people the better; only then will your self-esteem begin to improve. This site helps in that respect. Care and support each other, and let them know they are good, kind and warm human beings. People who have callously abandoned you are dysfunctional uncompassionate human beings. It's 5 months for me - and the pain does lessen oh soooo gradually - it is ok to be angry so don't worry. I know when you log off from this site you become weaker; however you are still breathing, there is a beautiful big, wide world out there, with lovely men and women. Your star will shine brightly again and I wish you all lots of great things, which WILL one day happen.
  12. blue boy
    January is SUCH a depressing month - it will be Spring before we all start to be reborn I feel. How's everybody doing out there ? If we could all turn the clocks back 12 months what would we do ? Just musing (not amusing) Warmastoast - what's happening with you ?
  13. blue boy
    1. It's too late - I've booked an appointment and my name shall be Charlotte ! 2. I thought lgirl said 'unconditional love' did exist. Are you saying it doesn't . Anyway I hate all these cliches - ACTIONS speak louder than words. A girl once left me and told me a guy had flattered her into leaving me - I told her not to be deceived - she didn't listen but she was eventually hurt. 3. Dumping at xmas is really, really unforgiveable and speaks volumes of the person doing it ! I can guarantee you WILL see Prague Newby and that you will have a great time when you are there. 4. You have always been sane and level-headed and good - they have destroyed your self-esteem but all of us here will make sure it returns. yours faithfully, Charlotte !
  14. blue boy
    Welcome Warmastoast ! I agree with lgirl ( I have learned from her !) Having been 'used' and manipulated myself for quite a while yet always being 'forgiving' it is time to stand up for yourself. The 'reverse psychology' is the way to go - you have to test her. I mean how is the future going to pan out if this continues - there will be no future unless this is stopped and the problem addressed right now. You will have to be strong - don't let her control the situation. I think you get the lot for that price lgirl - not JOKING lol ! Why would I want to be a woman ? I just think they are generally nicer human beings than men, and I also think they are the ones who have the real power. Don't know what I'd call myself though !
  15. blue boy
    Trying to get my head round that one - is there such a thing as 'unconditional love' ? It's emotionally and mentally exhausting trying to figure it all out. You can get a sex change in Bangkok for £1500. I'm seriously considering it.
  16. blue boy
    true love is unconditional... just a thought. incredibly enough - that was one of her reasons for leaving me - bit galling to say the least !
  17. blue boy
    Thank you for your contribution Violet - sometimes I'm sure we all feel as if we are the guilty harbouring such feelings of anger and resentment. You are right , it is feeling abandoned and discarded which really GETS to us. As lgirl asks , how do we deal with that - will try and locate that book too. Thank you again and well done for getting through all our posts !!!!! Who needs Bridget Jones ?
  18. blue boy
    Gosh two things struck me about your texts girls - one is that we are all still pretty down and that is pretty hellish ! The other is that you got the word 'bastard' out without it being censored so I can now freely say "that bastard bastard psycho * * * * * !! I have had an EXTREMELY bad 24 hours. I texted my ex yesterday simply to tell her that from now on I would treat her in exactly the same manner as she treated me. Two secs later she is on the phone wailing and weeping and then she hands the phone to her man-hating lesbian friend who came out with the most terrible abuse and then saying I was the abusive one. She is threatenng to get me banned from where they live and I would dearly love to give her some comeuppance even more than my ex. My anger is boiling over right now and I am thirsting for revenge. I'm fed up of being walked all over. You girls have shown me the way and I truly intend to follow it. We will meet great people this year, all of us, I promise. It hurts like mad lgirl and newby - I can really feel your pain in the words. We have been wronged, we really have but we must not let THEM win.
  19. blue boy
    Hi girls ! Happy New Year ! Did you survive in Glasgow Newby ? I feel for you , I really do - keeping yourself occupied and meeting a few new faces will help you - wish I could follow my own advice. Am in one of your fuming moods at the moment lgirl - in fact I switch between stupid, stupid undying love to total rage and anger. At any moment I could just pick that phone up and it's killing me to be honest. She's having a great time and I am plumbing the depths - I not only lost her , I lost a really nice lifestyle with lots of friends. Now it's all gone and I'm completely stranded and abandoned. God I feel low. Same year, same emptiness - had a reallllly crappy day at work too - sometimes I just want to take off round the world. Ok, sorry for ranting - hope your year has started a bit more brightly !
  20. blue boy
    I sometimes fear that even when the universe ceases to exist Newby, lgirl and Blue Boy will still be here ranting and raving !! How are you Newby ? Can you detect any progress. How has this affected the children. I think the shock will eventually be replaced by rage and anger and whilst it will be horrible to experience it - it is better than the empty hollowness you probably feel at present. The frustrating thing is a lot of the pain could be eased if only these people would have the guts to explain why they did what they did and to support the person in even the slightest way. You are displaying fortitude in contacting your solictor though and maybe that will make you heal faster as well - it a VERY slow process though, but you WILL make it and find happiness again with somebody who will give you 100%. lgirl - if we got through Xmas we can certainly get through the charade of a new year - they are way over-rated - save your pennies and treat yourself to something nice. Try to think of it as a new beginning in your life however and what you actually want from life. I'm sure his new year will be nothing special - it's all mind games and telling your mind you will stay strong - really difficult to do , but do it gradually and you will get there and one day for both you and Newby there will be a huge shaft of light appearing. You're in the greatest city in the world and I am sure thre are thousands of people who would love to get to know you so I KNOW you will be fine - unfortunately it won't be today or tomorrow. LD relationships are very difficult as I know from personal experience - why were you apart anyhow and were you planning to get together? I can feel your rage and bitterness in your words - he must have really hurt you and I feel for you - people can be just so senselessly callous. I'm freezing here and it's 15C !!
  21. blue boy
    Hey you two ! Now it's me that feels left out lol !! Newby, this forum is for everybody to support each other for as long as we need to be here. Sometimes I think maybe logging on here is prolonging the damage but I feel the strength I get from it outweighs any negative impact. You both did sooooo well to get through Xmas in your own individual way. I know people say emotions follow a pre-defined set of stages after a break-up but I have found they all swirl around you at the same time. Sometimes I am still in the initial stages of shock. Even though I still feel awful - in terms of missing the person I am much better. and as I said before the senseless wailing and weeping has stopped. I am concerned though as this has damaged me mentally and I feel as though I am going off the rails a bit. I have just gone away for a couple of days and my behaviour and emotions are becoming very unpredictable. I can go from deep depression to a simply catatonic state in a matter of seconds. By the way Prague is a must see - the only thing is it is a very romantic city so factor that into your plans. Same with Venice which is gorgeous too - but the thing is Newby you are thinking positive things that you can do. Our lives at the moment (and yours in particular) are so different from what we were used to. Even though I pine for the simplicity of a loving relationship, there are things out there which we can do better when we are single. lgirl - I read with relish your attempts to redress the pain you had been caused - "Hell hath no fury...etc..." lol I know most people would say you were wrong but I actually think you were right - otherwise they can just blaze a trail of destruction with no thought of other people's feelings. I am still in two minds whether to do the same. I am far too forgiving I know , and I am STILL forgiving this loser. Have still to study that article in full yet you suggested. I am working at 5a.m on New Year's Day so I will be well tucked up in bed by midnight. It looks a little bit nippy in UK at the moment by the way ! I won't be making a New Year's resolution but it is a fresh start - maybe this time next year we will all be blissfully happy. Let's hope so !
  22. blue boy
    lgirl - glad to hear you survived the day and spoilt yourself at the same time - it's funny you're advice is so spot on even though you are still raging incandescently - you seem much more 'with it' than I am. I have a confession to make of course. I sent a 'merry xmas ' e-mail on Xmas Eve when I knew she would be at work. In it I said I was not going to lose my dignity by not saying that and I also told her I was happy for her and also that she was hurting me far more now than when we were together . (although she reallllllly hurt me then at times !!) I told her if she never wants me to contact her again in any form just to say that and I will grant her wishes - but she has never and won't even say THAT!! NO reply of course and it is the SILENCE that kills. I wasn't moping last night, I just felt sad for her and me but as usual angry - what do I do now? Write to her father and tell him things which would upset her? Tell him she really needs help? I want to do something to really hurt her - she deserves it full stop. Tell him how she nearly killed herself on occasions during alcoholic blackouts? It's wrong but it's not wrong as the alternative is she gets away scot-free by treating people like this. She needs to learn a lesson really. I'm sure she's blocking my e-mails by now anyhow - I tell you if I was to bump into her I would spit feathers. Virtually every last shred of love is leaving my body for her to be replaced with resentment. I asked for nothing but simple recognition of me as a human being. It's beyond belief really - I don't care if she never wants to see or speak to me again all she had to do was say 2 words!!! I play a lot of tennis and boy is her head on every ball that I hit !! You don't know how good it feels to have you and others on here just acknowledge me. Any other self-esteem is receding as fast as my hair with all this stress !! New Year's Eve is no big deal for me anyhow - Xmas is much more meaningful and sentimental. I have two weeks hols in England after that so that will keep me occupied. You get off to the sales and treat yourself to something. I just wish I could sit her down and make her read the words you wrote and have written a thousand times just to try and get it into her thick skull that I am not even talking about the relationship; I'm talking about her behaviour !! Yes, we're all weak, but we're all insignificant in the great scheme of life - and it's far too short to wilfully hurt people to this extreme. Anyway, always great to hear your intelligent little lectures - and I do try to put your suggestions into practice. It's freeeeeezing here - good practice for UK ! I'm gettingbetter at erasing things out of my mind I think, which is good - at least I am not weeping every day like a Barbie doll ! Sweet dreams
  23. blue boy
    Is Xmas over yet ? I'm still under the pillow ? Well look at it this way we are at least all still breathing !
  24. blue boy
    NO, going to escape all the lights and tinsel and get some fresh air - still got Sky News though. Thank you for the greeting - it IS appreciated - you are lucky you have lovely children to get you through - just keep smiling - and remember I and many others are always here for you if you are feeling bad. HAPPY XMAS !!
  25. blue boy
    Qatar - in the Middle East Have a nice Xmas Newby - the kids will survive and so will you - I feel you are strong. I'll try and have NC but it will make me more enraged - I don't want to contact her but it is the only way I can think of that won'twant me to start treating her with contempt and causing her pain.
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