BellaJ

It sounds like you love her. I would say cheers & congrats, if it weren't for "David". You seem pretty clear about your sexuality, but is she? Is she bi? Bi curious? High school sweethearts can have a very happy time. They're different than relationships later in life. I just worry about you getting hurt because she has a boyfriend. Have you guys talked about your relationship? Does she consider herself your girlfriend? It can be be very painful to find out someone does not feel the same way you do. I think you should talk about your feelings so you both know where you stand. Good Luck, BellaJ

Maybe someone hurt you and broke your trust in the past? Its a hard thing to give someone your trust after you've been hurt. My only advice is, not trusting her and getting upset only hurts you, it does nothing to solve the problem. Also, it takes up a lot of your time and engery worry about something that may or maynot be happening. You could try telling your self a little phrase each time you feel that way, Give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Try doing something you enjoy when you feel that way, don't waste your life worrying about something that you can't control. Its only hurting you when you do that, be nice to yourself.

Hi, I know that you are going through a hard time. I was in a similar situation. I got married at 23, got pregnant on my honeymoon and the next thing you know there was three of us. It put a lot of pressure/stress on my husband, I can see that now. He acted pretty much the same way. We became distant and grew apart. Being older now and looking back I think that he was just stressed and didn't know how to say it or ask for help. My advice is just to try to do some nice things for him, a few little reminders that you love and appreciate him will pay off in the long run. Don't take his actions personally. Things will improve over time, its just a hard phase you guys are going through. Love and take care of your sweet baby and your husband. Loving them more will help now more than pulling away or getting angry. Take care, BellaJ

Thanks for your reply. We are taking it slow. We usually only talk once a week for 1-2 hrs and we've seen each other twice. He is getting more comfortable talking to me but he still says it is very hard for him to see my face. Brings up a lot of sad memories still. He says that when he sees me its hard for him to remember that so much time has past. He says I look the same and he just sees the person that hurt him and it brings up a lot of sad feelings. I wish there was something that I could say to him or do to take some of the hurt away. I don't know where to even start to rebuild trust with him.

If you spend a lot of your free time talking with her people could get the wrong idea and you could get a reputation. Just a thought. I'm not totally against age gaps, I dated a 30yr old when I was 20 and it was a healthy, happy relationship. She will be 18 one day and then legal if you really care about each other. Since you are a teacher a relationship like that could create a lot of bad gossip. Its a hard decision. My only advice is to be careful and not let your emotions take control and put you in a bad position with your colleagues.

My ex and I dated for four years. It ended with me breaking up with him and leaving him for someone else. We tried to remain friends for a month or two after the break up but eventually stopped talking. The break up happened seven years ago and we got back in touch with each other about two months ago. Basically we both have missed each other throughout the time we didn't talk and there is still love there on both of our parts. I never contacted him because I thought he hated me because of the nasty break up and he never contacted me because of lies a friend was telling him after the break up; she said I was saying things I never said to keep him from contacting me. My question is that there is still a very deep love there between us after all this time. We want to try to work at it again. He says he still loves me but there is still so much hurt there and some anger it is hard for us to start again. I know I hurt him and have regretted it for many years, I have done a lot of growing over that time. I need some suggestions on how to help heal the wounds that he still carries from the break up and deal with anger that we both have about things that happened. Advice would be great, especially from guys. What can I do to help rebuild his trust in me and help him get past the hurt? Thanks, BellaJ