TiredMan

Both or either. The last time this happened (ive been with the same person for a long time) was actually about a few weeks ago. Some woman I talk to (nothing bad just about working out and stuff like that) at my gym found a reason to give me her phone number. I took it but obviously junked it. I would have told her I'm involved but it kind came out of nowhere and also we don't talk THAT closely.

Playing sports and going to the gym is something I do. I play baseball, basketball, go to the gym, do cardio and do yoga. It's good for you and fun (well not the cardio lol). If I had to choose a physique that looks best on a guy, it would be the toned one. Big shoulders do look cool though too.

That's a personal choice and obviously you are allowed to choose whatever you wish. I have my own as well. For example, I would never be with a woman who needs makeup to look presentable. If she can't go natural almost all the time, then she isn't for me. I also wouldn't be with a woman who has had many partners. Definitely not for me. Being with a prostitute is a far cry from having been to a brothel (I use that word other than the -blank-house one) . I went to one of those places when I was 17. Not to do anything but a friend went to be with one and it was either go in or stand outside in the cold. I had/have no interest in that stuff, yuck! But I got to tell you, some hilarious stuff happened in that place lol.

That is not enough. She should have told him. She doesn't even know if he's with someone else. He might be shy. He might have lost it. Who knows. Now she is left to wonder. Giving someone your number or asking for theirs is fine after you guys talk about it and clearly SHOW interest.

OK going to strip club for a special occasion is now equivalent to those? One is a crime in many places (adultery), one is not. Going to a club is not. Hey why not lot let the guy go to Yoga class because there are so many in-shape women at them who wear tight outfits? Why not let them go out because women hit on him? It's all about insecurity. Again, you are differentiating between someone who would regularly go and someone who goes because it's a special occasion. And if I had friends who wanted to have a bachelor party at a brothel, I would go. I just wouldn't do anything.

Or you can walk up and just ask him out.

I feel it is all about insecurities. If someone doesn't want their partner to even go to a bachelor party if it's there, then it is clearly an insecurity on their part. And I think the person being asked not to attend is better off without that person.

Isn't it possible he is already with someone?

I don't think there is anything wrong with going, if that is your thing. It's not mine and never has been. No woman is worth me paying just to see her. Unless she can do something special like in sports or singing or what not. Some people seem very strongly against their SO going to one, even if it's for a bachelor party. They need to put their own insecurities aside. if my SO wanted to leave me because I was going to one or having my own one, then let her go. She isn't worth a second of my time anyway.

Have you ever played hard to get? Do you know how many guys get turned down but keep trying? Maybe you can do the same here.

Seems you a thing about the places in general to begin with, much less in terms of going when in a relationship. See, I bring up bachelor party because how many times does that happen? We all hope once per person. I could not forgive myself. See I'm not going to s trip club because I like em (I never have because I don't believe in paying to see women naked. I feel they should pay me to see me.) But I am just going to wherever it is (of course it has to be legal) to celebrate their day. Honestly, if it was at a brothel, I would still go. I just obviously wouldn't do anything. One could use the same logic you used different. If she REALLY loved you, she would let you go for this special reason. Is she puts her own insecurities before your loyalty to a friend getting married, then she isn't a giving person. For me personally, if my SO said "if you go, I will leave you" then I would consider calling her out on that. If I didn't leave her, I would cancel her invite to the wedding itself and go myself.

I guess the initial post (and responses were removed). Makes the thread seem a bit odd lol. As if Hellfrost started it hehe.

Is he actually cheating on her? NO!! So you do think it is ok for you to cheat while it was not for your friend to cheat?

My guess is that he wants someone to tell him he is doing the right thing, which of course, even a blind person could see he is not. Or he is just pulling our chains. Part of me hopes his friend overhears him and then rats him out to his g/f lol.

Did your friend drop you as a friend? If not, he should because you aren't a friend. Your g/f and this Molly girl should also just keep away from you because you don't practice what you preach. You think it's wrong for your friend to cheat but not you?

Not specifically. I've had 2 situations that I can remember that resembled anything close to this. One girl I met while in school, we started hooking up for a few nights (making out, petting etc). She clearly wanted more and I did not. We never talked about it but she asked my friend why I wasn't asking her out. He, of course, told me about it lol. He did explain to her that I was in a 2 year relationship that recently had ended and I wasn't up for that yet. Well she didn't tell me she knew (tho I knew) but we stopped messing around. She told me she didn't want to continue lol. I was a bit hurt but ok with it since I was trying to get with another girl she was living with (which I did for a while). Another situation was a girl CLEARLY liked me. We spent a ton of time together. We liked each other. You could see something was building. But we were in school and lived on the same floor. We made out one night (was kinda cool) but we stopped. She told me she couldn't. Her reason was that she was the g/f with another guy who lived on the floor (whom I was friends with) but they broke up and it was a BAD break up. And she didn't want to be known as the girl of the floor. I was cool with it because I didn't want to be with her but I was hoping to "get some" but oh well. But it did allow me to do whatever I wanted without dealing with what "she" thinks. I did kind of dig her roomie as well lol.

Not true. Im' in a committed relationship. I don't go to strip clubs or go-go places because I don't like to. But I did go once because it was a special occasion. I care more about my SO's feelings than I do my own. But I am also loyal to my friends as well. Now if I was asked to go just for the sake of going, I probably wouldn't. But if I have a friend who is getting married, and he is having his bachelor party at one OR he is having strippers at his home/hotel or whatever, and I decide not to go because I'm with someone, then I am not a good friend and I am whipped. And if she wanted to go to a bachlorette party that happened to have male dancers at it, then I wouldn't keep her from it either. I mean it's a good friend of course in both situations. Not just some she or I barely know.

Wow! Can you honestly put the club with the rest? The rest involve actual cheating unless you are going to these places just to watch others people like you having sex (which I doubt).

Not that cut and dry, IMO. Point was that you were scared and for years, it was "once in a blue moon". I know you say it's a long time ago and a distant memory but you can't be sure it is for him. People hold on to things. But someone who was willing to barely have sex for YEARS does not sound like the type of person (selfish) you are describing now. They just don't connect. Unless they drastically changed. But something usually ends up making that happen. It's good to talk about it. I am wondering how the talk went and what he said.

So wait, are you saying that quality guys are the ones who think what you do? I personally disagree with it. In a committed relationship, I don't think it's cool to go regularly if the other person tells you it bothers them. But for special occasions, like I said, he/she just has to deal with it.

I think this topic was here before. I believe it's ok to go, if it's for a special occasion. Like if you are in a committed relationship and it bothers him/her, then going regularly isn't cool, in my opinion. But going for a special occasion (bachelor party for example) to me is different. I would go for that. If my SO had a problem with that, that is her problem.

Then it's the responsibility of the people using them. You can't use that argument. With that logic, one could say "people should never eat" because a percentage of people don't eat right and get sick.

link removed "When condoms are used reliably, they have been shown to prevent pregnancy up to 98 percent of the time among couples using them as their only method of contraception."

Then she would be no better. If any famous man walked around in interviews saying "women are lucky to date ME", how badly would so many people think of him? My point was that anyone who is in a committed relationship for years and stays in it even though they don't have sex for years, is anything but selfish in my eyes.