Mr. Sub

DAY 4 now. Have to be strong. Especially when she follows up with phone calls after I didn't return her email in the afternoon. She called me twice in the evening. I didn't read the email she sent early, but don't know what she was trying to get at. I am temp just to email her back saying i missed her calls. But I am hanging in there for now. FOCUS.

For me the hardest time of the day would be in the morning. It is like waking up realize she is gone.

I am on my 3rd NC day. Joining other on a 30-day challenge. Like I expected, she emails me todays. But I said I will not read any of the emails, so all of them go directly to the delect folder. I do miss her. Felt terrible each morning getting up at 5am. But I am hanging there. She is back with her ex now. That's why she only emails me during weekdays. I will keep it up.

The end of DAY 3. Overall wasn't bad at all. I had no attempt to contact her or anything. There were moments when I thought of her when riding in my friend's car. Keep it up.

2nd Day for me. Today was Saturday, which makes it more difficult. Woke up early in the morning feeling sad. Missing her but I know she is gone. Kept my head down not to think of her being with her bf. Shared laughers with friends over dinner and think positive. Mr. Sub

OK. Count me in as well. No phone calls. No emails. Maybe I can go a step further by not listening to msgs and reading incoming emails. Starting on May 28, 2005

I think that's what she did with her ex. They kept contact with each other and now they are back together. It sounds stupid for me to do the same and hope for the same isn't it? First I thought I would try everything to win her back, but I looks like tough luck for me since she never got over her ex at the first place.

My girlfriend is now back with her ex. We are still friends, but I have been trying NC on her. For 2 weeks i have been successful as i ignored her emails and phone calls. But I just broke NC today, feeling pretty bad. I would really love to have her back. But she has moved on. I always hope there is a slim chance in the future. Should I end the friendship to kill my false hopes? thanks.

Hi Angel, Stand on your ground. Don't contact him and find out why. It will only hurt youself more and make him feel better. I am going through the same thing. My gf went back to her ex after 2 yrs on and off with me. I only knew how I was just her rebound guy, maybe she is just his rebound as well. So hang in there. If he wants you, he will come back. Like what my gf did. If it turns out that he doesn't, he is missing out on something good.

smiles21, Keep it up. I am going to the same if you read my story "Starting from today". She wants to keep me close just in case. And the funny thing is she already did it to me once. It is hard to do NC, especially when she play games on you. Stick with it, don't be weak-willed. If she really love you, you will came back to you. But don't wait for this day to happen. Heal yourself and welcome someone else who is more deserving. Mr. Sub

Hi cari, I has only been a month. It is normal to feel like the way you feel. My gf left me around the same time for her ex. I was lost, in fact, I am still finding my way through. I couldn't eat and sleep or do anything I once enjoy the most. My level of work has gone down at the same time. You just need to time to heel. Don't rush things. It sounds like your bf wasn't that good to you, so why border going back. Take time and think about what you really want. Mr. Sub

It has been a month since my break up. The last 30 somewhat days were the most painful and difficult period I have been through so far. And STARTING FROM TODAY, I am driven and determined to detach myself from the past. I have shared my situation on the forum. My girlfriend fell into the arms of her ex after spending 2 yrs with me. Thanks to many dear friends on here, I have learned that I was just a rebound guy for her. In fact, she did try to get back with him when I was away on a trip couple months after we started. However, maybe that didn't work out for her and I opened up my door for her again. But at the end she chooses to walk out of that door again. She wanted to give herself a second chance to be with her ex. They have been together for 7 yrs, which they grew up together and shared so many moments. I completely felt agony and betrayed. Every sentence came from her felt like cuts after cuts to my heart. My tears rush out like my blood draining from my heart. 'SORRY' - a word that I ever imagine can be this powerful. She said it in the most sincere and apologetic way, an attempt to brush off what has happened and what is in front of us. With this five-letter word, I would have to expect myself to store all my feelings in the darkest corner of my brain, wash away the tears on my face and put together the broken pieces of my heart. It is difficult and painful to move on when she insists to keep you as her friend. When she acts in a way to give you the slimmest chance of hope. I had my moments of relapse, and I had my burst of determination to win her back. But when I think of what she had said and done, the reality check is front and centre. What and how she feels about me I do not question. I know my feelings for her are still vivid and strong. They are all meaningful, but yet irrelevant to her. STARTING FROM TODAY...my attention is not on her. I had done my soul-searching and reviewed my positives and shortcomings. I need to move on and I have to be ready for the future. Do not give up the forest because of that one tree. I want to share this with all the heart-broken friends out there, who have been struggling, drowning and losing your soul. Friends out there who have dropped to the bottom of the well. Good friends would build the latter for you, but it is you to find your way up and see the light again. Mr. Sub

I am in love with the girl, who I just broke up with a month ago. We spent close to 2 yrs together after she just came out from a 7-year relationship. She said she felt my love for her wasn't the same in beginning. So we were separated for the last six months. I thought I would give her some alone time to sort out her thoughts. After she came out, she decided to end our relationship. She said the doesn't love me anymore. Meanwhile, she has been actively seeing her ex. My heart has been always with her and she didn't want to give me a chance. She said she want to give herself and her ex a chance. His ex left her because of another girl. My ex wants to remain friends with me. I am fine with that. For the first two weeks I called her and said I still miss her. She would tell me to forget about the past just move on. I know contacting her would just make me more painful and depressed. So I try using NC for the past two weeks. I couple of times she emailed me and I didn't reply. She was not very patient and very curious why I didn't reply her emails. She would call and check if I am in the office or not. She knows I still have feelings for her and I said she doesn't. But she always said what I think she can't control. If I think she has no feelings than let it be. I hate to say I still love her very much. Do I have a chance? I deserve another opportunity, if not given by her. Is the reality this cruel, she can just totally ignore me and her feelings?

We have broken up for about couple months now, since then she has been with her ex. She wants to stay in touch and be as friends. She would send me an email to my office asking how are you once in a while? For the past two weeks I have not replied to her emails and she started to get annoyed. One time after she not getting any reply she called to my office to check if I was in. Second time she did the same and now she sends me email with Read Request to see if I am ignoring her. Why she is being so keen on this? She knows I still have feelings. I have tried to get back together, but I know she loves her ex more than anyone.

Thanks for all your thoughts. It is silly that similar situation like this has had happened before in my life. My previous girlfriend abandoned me because she couldn't be with her boyfriend anymore. It hurt because she made excuses to push me away and basically tell me in the face that she was using me. But looking back I wasn't getting any true love afterall. But my ex is different. Although she tried to back out (like my other girlfriend), I felt true love from her. I understand she has true love for her ex as well. But for the 2 yrs we were together I felt sole attention from her (maybe my perception was wrong). Getting over her is difficult, but I am on my way.

Hi, Recently we broke up after spending 2 yrs together. Things cool down over the last six months and she took the initiative and opened the door for her ex. They were together for 7 yrs before they called it quit. I took her into my arms when her ex let her down. However, couple months after we started she were still missing him and decided to end our relationship. Eventually she came back to me about a month later and we tried again. I have to admit that I didn't try 110% over the last six months, but my heart has been with her. I didn't express my feelings in the most effective way, and she gave herself and her ex another chance. Once we talked after the break up and she finally realize my feelings for her but just lacking in communication. She cried while I had tears on my chin. I know she wants a fresh start with her ex at the moment. There is nothing I can do. She wants stay friends, which I know can put me in pain and give me false hopes. But I want to take the initiative and show her deep down inside my heart. I will not just sit here and beg the chance to come. I want to move on and become a better person, maybe one day I can have another opportunity. What are you opinion? Is the reality to cruel for me to stay truth with my heart?

Thanks. I always have a feeling that her ex is more important to her. Although we tried, but at the end she is back to her root. I think I made a mistake by being so negative saying that our journey seems to end right here. I said it in a very heart-rending mood. She insisted the future is an untold story. But at this moment, her heart is somewhere else.

Hi, I am still recoving from this relationship ended couple weeks ago. It lasted for 2 yrs before my ex girlfriend decided to give herself and her ex a chance again. It is extremely painful because as when we first start off, she had a confession that she was still missing her ex. However, we ended up trying again after, but I never questioned her why she didn't get back to him instead. Recently her ex was trying to get back together and she decided I am less worthy. Since then, she insisted she doesn't want to loss a friend like me. She wants to help me through this difficult time, even she may not be the right person to talk to. Here is where I need some help. It seems to me she is very curious about my process on healing. When I said I talked to a female friend about the relationship, she got very curious wanting to know who she was. A couple of times when I didn't get back to her emails she would call me and curious about why. She thought I was intentionally not responding to her. What is her intention?