Butterfly641

Hey there. It seems like your relationship with her is based on the mood she's in. She seems to have you on her toy shelf and takes you down to play when she needs you. The best thing you can do is to let her go completely or set limits with her, which can be hard since you have feelings for her. It doesn't seem like she wants to start a relationship w/you because if she did she wouldn't continue to risk losing you.

Wow I can't believe how common this situation is. When I was going through it I thought something was wrong with me. I dated my guy for 3 years and we were never able to have sex. He even went to see a counselor about his problem. I couldn't help but take it take it personally when he preferred some porn magazine over me. Now I have realized there was something seriously wrong with him and that he needs to take the initiative to want to have a good sex life. Chances are if your man can masturbate, but doesn't want to or can't have sex than its a mental condition rather than a physical one (not testosterone levels). Sex is an important part of a relationship. It is something that you deserve to enjoy and explore with your partner. Talk to him...maybe counseling will help. Good Luck.

Hey T. I hear you but it is hard to be in that kind of situation. When you have feeling for someone you can control how you'll react but not necessarily how you feel. Friends with benefits quite honestly means that you can think of the other person as a friend while hooking up with them. I have never found that it can be mutual. Most of the time, someone has more feelings than the other or even both grow to have more feelings for each other. I think you should be honest with her and be prepared to hear the truth - whatever it may be. Good luck and keep us updated!

He called me last night (just after I wrote the post) and wanted to chat with me to see how I was doing. I told him that I felt weird about what it would be best if we didn't see each other for awhile. His response was that he didn't want to lose me over any of this. He took me out for coffee this morning and told me that he would back off if I wanted. We both know that neither of us should be in a relationship right now, but its so weird because I am so attracted to him. I told him I just need time to think about how I feel. I know he's attracted to me but at the same time I realize he needs to heal from his breakup. Its just that whenever I'm around him, I want him and I don't know what to do. Should I back off?

Well here I am finally going to tell someone what happened. I have always had feelings for my best friend (we've been close for about 5 years). I recently went through a break within the year. While I knew he had feelings for me, we've never tried anything. In fact, we have talked about how we feel towards one another several times and understood that acting out our feelings could get us in trouble because we were dating other people. Neither one of us would think about cheating. So he has finally broken up with his girlfriend (2 weeks ago). And this past week was amazing - we acted out our feeling and finally hooked up. We ended up sleeping together, which was wonderful and beautiful. I care about him so much and this past week made me realize that I had been in love with him for some time. Here's the thing - neither one of us is ready for a relationship, especially since we've both come out of long-term relationships. So did I ruin any kind of possible relationship with him by jumping the gun? Should I have waited? How do I handle this? He has said that he doesn't want to lose me, but I feel like running away and pretending it didn't happen.

Hi thank you for replying. It did cross my mind that there may be "other women". It makes me sick just thinking about it. I don't think he's cheated...maybe I'm just too naive. I'm trying to focus on myself - on my work, hobbies etc. but its so hard. I feel like I've been emotionally run over. I keep my cell phone on me and check my email so many times a day just to see if he's tried to contact me. I think the hardest thing about this is that I'm feel so needy and emotional and he's acting so "strong" and so convinced.

Hello everyone. I've been reading so many of these posts and feel that I can somehow relate. My boyfriend of 3 and half yrs broke up with me a month ago without a complete explanation. It happened so suddenly and till this day I don't know what exactly happened. We're both in our late 20s and really focused on our careers. We've been so supportive of each other and have planned a future together. All he told me was that he needs time away from me and needs to figure out what he wants in his life. He also told me he was still in love with me. He thought NC would be the best way to do things. Our mutual friends tell me (because they've talked to him about it) say that he probably wants to "experience other women". I'm angry confused depressed - you name it. I've tried to look back at the months preceding the breakup to look for any signs - but I can't seem to find any. He was wonderful, understanding, and kind. Even up to the point of breakup, he would send me emails telling me how wonderful I was and happy he was to have someone so great in his life. I've tried to meet w/him and talk things out, but he seems convinced that I'm not "good for him" although it has "nothing to do with me". He's never done anything like this before, he was always so emotionally stable and now all I'm left with this is this huge void in my life. He also insists that NC is the best way to get over me and doesn't want to talk to me for at least a few months. In all this confusion, I'm trying to get over him. But how do you get over someone whose never hurt you except to break up with you? Part of me wants to completely understand whats going on w/him but I don't think he even knows. So all I'm left with is trying to get over him. Where do I go from here?