LaHermes

I never assume anything. And yes they are plentiful, not that I have been carrying out a census survey of anything. 😄 And Waffle: "I'm just surprised that men continue not to see through the women who work at these joints." Men (and people generally) see through what they want to see through. Most men are well able to distinguish. And then there is this, The Bunyadi Restaurant (London). The UK's first ever naked restaurant has opened in London. Bunyadi encourages customers to disrobe while eating "naked" organic food served by nude staff. Bunyadi has made headlines in recent weeks by attracting 46,000 people to its waiting list

Yes, MsC. A slow well-shaken screwdriver, or two. Or, as they say in my country of origin "whatever you're havin' yourself". Lol.

Now, Bolt, do you think I would buy YOU anything less than the best possible drink. Lol. I'd be taking you to a classy premises! ☺️ I am surprised that folks are so surprised about all this.

Ms. C. I lived in Continental Europe almost all my life. I merely mentioned U.K. as I lived and worked there a short while. Heh heh, no idea what they get up to over there in the U.S.A.

No, Bolt. Not strip clubs. Just bars where the barmaids/waitresses are topless. Come on over and I'll take you to one for a drink. 😁 Have never been to a strip club (female strippers), but yes,many years ago to a club where a guy and a girl (naked performers) well, more or less "did it" there on the floor. The places I've been and the things I've seen. 😎

Well, certainly in the U.K. for as long as I can remember. I was in one for the first time when I was a student working a holiday job in London. And that wasn't yesterday lol. And fairly common in continental countries. Certainly maybe not in every little town but in the cities for sure. Mind you I only today learned that word "breastaurant" from OP. Lol. Geeze it gives the term a milkshake bar a whole new meaning .🤠 Oh, (I think) topless was here possibly long before it was commonplace in the U.S.A. Mind you, I have yet to visit a venue where there are nice young guys "shirtless". heh heh. But I expect they do exist.

We've had those topless places here for decades. Lol.

On foot of a dreadful shooting a day or so ago in Plymouth (U.K.) and reading the report about the killer (who also shot himself)I feel not enough importance and attention is given to this disturbing issue: "https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/minority-report/202007/the-incel-ideology" "When Incels (Involuntary Celibates) or those with "Incel-like" tendencies come into my office or ask about my services, they will often first distance themselves from describing themselves as extreme Incels as some have been associated with misogynistic, angry, and violent men who endorse killing men and women based on their sexual frustrations." Also known as NEETS (Not in Education, Employment or Training), basement dwelling, unkempt and socially isolated white men. The report on the shooting mentioned: "In the online videos Jake Davison said he was socially isolated, struggled to meet women and made references to "incels" - the misogynistic online groups of "involuntary celibate" men, who blame women for their sexual failings and who have been linked to a number of violent acts around the world." Here is Davison again: "He also alludes to a financial dispute with his mother over benefit money that he felt he was owed because he claimed he had autism. A month ago, he wrote: “Luckly i got PIP money because i legit have autism which i should have taken from my mother at 18 years old really but like an idiot she manipulated and guilt tripped me in lettering her have it until at 22 i decided enough is enough and i took it from her.”" He also shot a three year old girl in his insane murdering spree. Incels are caricatured as NEETS (Not in Education, Employment or Training), basement dwelling, unkempt and socially isolated white men.

That's exactly what you must answer, HK. Why? So "feel the fear but do it anyway". Maybe concentrate now on taking that leap of faith. When you do that, then other yearnings in your life will begin to fall into place. Bear in mind, HK, that the house is your parents' house, their home (retired or not) and if they want to get up at 3 a.m. or 3 p.m. that is their right and privilege. It doesn't matter whether they intend to go out for the day or never go out. And I bet they would never turn you out! When you have your own place (however small) then you will have that same right. I honestly think, HK, that at age 34 it is now time to take that leap. S, go for it! You are lucky to have your parents, and that they are/were the kind (like my own) able to provide a roof and life's necessities and immense kindness and support. I miss mine incredibly. Wish I had more them with them. I left home at age 20, but knew their door was always thee, open wide for me.

They are so young here.

Jib. You never heard of: "OMG there's a tiger loose in Mrs. Jones next door's garden. Must run to help" Or if that's too much LOL, then go to your front door, ring your own doorbell, repeatedly, and stage whisper into the phone: "The police are here". Be creative! "I had (and still have) anxiety that she will call back one day, that this could become some kind of routine for her, or that she will expect me to call her. " Doesn't your phone show the number of the person calling you? You simply don't answer at all. Easy.

Very understandable OP. The shock of the finality is kicking in, and those dreams (over which in your sleep you have no control) are the brain's way of clearing out the sludge (albeit painfully). I have known IRL a few people who told me exactly what you are saying, after enduring very traumatic events. The dreams will fade, in time, and are in a way therapeutic, even if they might not seem so to you right now.

Try not to twist what people, in good faith, are trying to say to you. My one-liners as you call them are merely endorsement of what other posters are saying to you. And again, I endorse their very good advice to you. I have no intention of bring you, or anyone else, "down a peg or two" as you put it. Just to remark: 'She is literally all I think about' I, and others here, can only go by what you write, and assume you mean what you write. We are not in your presence. Now you say we should only take what you say lightly. Do try to be reasonable, OP. Everyone is trying to help. You said earlier on: "Why on earth do I feel like I've blown it?" To which Bolt replied that it was because anxiety is steering your ship. (I have read your entire thread OP).

You yourself said: "she is literally all I think about" How do you think that sounds to an outsider, OP? I agree with Catfeeder. And if you are on an NHS list I greatly fear you will be waiting a long time. You know this. Perhaps the situation warrants looking for private therapy? No idea what this means, although relaxation is precisely what you need, OP. lol. "Relax... I'm not about to go all Mark Wahlberg in Fear over her." And, btw, all the posters, and I include myself, are here to give of their time, support and advice.

Love this rendition.

Fully agree Cat. OP, that anxiety will be your undoing so please do seek help.

Yes, that's them. Enigma is a German musical project founded in 1990 by Romanian-German musician and producer Michael Cretu. Gregorian chant included in some of their pieces, and there is that insistent beat pervading the music. Quite hypnotic in many ways.

And it will, OP, if you don't get on top of that neediness. You realize how crazily desperate that sounds.

And now something different: "Lust in Translation: Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee " by Pamela Druckerman

Oh yes. I dance. Always loved to dance. We had a great Cuban girl teaching salsa and bachata. And then doing classical for years (even if an entirely different discipline) helps with other genres of dance. Yeh. Like you I love the place being squeaky clean. It is a bit mysterious why those fruit flies are still bothering you. Is it perhaps to do with the climate where you live. I can remember plagues of ants in countries where I have lived. Little perishers!

The fruit fly menace. Fruit flies can appear in the cleanest environments, often drawn by a bowl of ripe fruit on a table, for example. Mind you, I haven't seen those in years.

For you PDN. Love to dance bachata.