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GB11CR7

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  1. Hi All, Another bit of a bump here but more so to just vent as I really have nowhere or nobody else to discuss this with as I know the issue is with me. Basically, being with my previous girlfriend for 5 years has made me realise how clingy she was and how much I secretly admired it. Looking back, from the very go she was always wanting to meet, text back straight away and would drop most things to be with me. I never quite felt the same back, but I'm feeling it towards this girl I'm seeing now (but trying my best not to show it). I'm still finding it extremley hard that I only see her twice a week and she's only just started staying over. I'm literally in a state of euphoria when I'm with her but I keep it inside and don't come across this way to her. Anyway, I've just come back from a long weekend away, told her I missed last night over text but as I'm on the tail end of having bronchitis (I feel better than I did) I suggested she could come over but up to her whether she wanted to stay. (She stopped last week knowing I wa quite bad and was fine with it) She's said to leave it tonight and spend the day together tomorrow. Now, to any normal person this seems a reasonable compromise but I'm pretty gutted as I was expecting to see her even if she only popped in for an hour. I've got the typical old thoughts running round in my head of 'she can't miss me/like me that much if she's happy to go another day'. Again... just a bit of a vent here, not really looking for advice as I know my ego needs a good shake, but we are literally boyfriend and girlfriend.
  2. We certainly act like boyfriend and girlfriend. We've planned to spend a night away in the city next week for a night out/day out the following day. But due to work etc we've only been seeing each other twice a week for the whole evening... either we'll go out for a walk, food or just chill at mine. We managed to have a day out together in the early stages which was nice. She probably makes an effort more than me in terms of arranging stuff. But everything seems so natural and the chemistry is there. This is why I just wanna ask if I can actually call her my girlfriend, I know it's just a label, but I think I'll just feel more at ease if it's out there. At the moment it still just feels like dating which to me is easier to just drop someone if you don't feel like it anymore.
  3. Feel bad constantly starting new threads so if mods want to merge this into a new one feel free. Just a bit of an update I know this is incredibly subjective but we'd have been dating 8 weeks this Friday (I know I said 3-4 weeks on my original post but I completley didnt realise it was even longer!) and I’m feeling it’s time to ask if she wants to commit as I kind of want to know where I stand. Is this a fair conversation to have with her? I’m in it for the long haul but I don’t know if she is. We certainly get on so well together and we aren’t dating anybody else. I’m pretty sure she feels the same way how she acts and texts but we haven’t had that conversation yet. The good news is after some of the good advice here I'm still checking myself and getting on with my own life when I'm not with her. I was kind of waiting until we'd had a bit of sexual intimacy which happened for the first time the other night. Everything was fine. I'm just questioining if there's some sort of check list like... do I need to meet the family/friends first kind of thing.
  4. This. 4 days is too long. Nothing to lose OP, send him a last message.
  5. 'She is literally all I think about' is not exactly inordinary for someone to say a few weeks into some good dates. Also, I would take that saying lightly and not literally. You are getting defensive and I'm not sure why? Posters here do indeed give their time, support and advice and I'm not disputing that...(i've even thanked them) but in fairness, you've responded twice with 2 one liners that haven't been helpful at all (hence me calling you out on it). Just to note, I'm not in denial or anything - see my previous respones in this thread. I accept I'm overthinking it and I am taking steps in the right direction, unfortunely it's post like yours that tend to bring me and others back down a peg or 2. So , some advice for you, in future, double check what you've put before you hit that submit reply button. Some things can just be simply left unsaid.
  6. I'm on the waiting list with the NHS here in the UK. Waiting to hear back from them but I had an initial telephone consultation a couple months back now. I understand there's probably extra strain recently due to covid and people being in darker places than me, so I'm willing to wait. Thanks @catfeeder Also, I've noticed your responses have been quite unconstructive and not exactly helpful. 'You realize how crazily desperate that sounds' 'Seek help' Relax... I'm not about to go all Mark Wahlberg in Fear over her.
  7. Not sure. Always pondered this question. Never had any issues at home whilst growing up despite my parents splitting when I was 6. I'm also quite introverted and probably cared too much what others think of me but it's not exactly a switch I can just turn off. This is why I'm treading super careful and not wanting to mess this up.
  8. Did you not go on the date last night then?
  9. Very much under the bridge. I don't think that is helping. I was with my ex for a long time but I knew I didn't see a future with her, or that I even loved her, so I had to let her go. Now I've actually met someone I'm head over heels for I'm scared of messing it up. I'm probably also scared of karma coming back round to bite me and that she's going to reject me at some point. I've had a good nights sleep and feel better. I had another text off her last night before I went to sleep saying she's glad she came round before she went, so if that isn't reassurance I don't know what is. In the gutter I think! I think she's catching on to this too. I guess the first step is that I'm starting to recognise my behaviours...
  10. Thank you so much, you've made me feel a helluva lot better after reading this. She actually just text me asking whether I'd had my takeout (I said I was going to order some take-out food earlier before she left) so don't think I've scared her off just yet 😅 Gonna leave her to it whilst I buck my ideas up and relax a bit... As above, I'm not just saying this but I really needed some kick up the ***, so thanks for being straight. She is preoccuping my life far too much I will admit! Thanks for the suggestions, I actually love the Olympics but haven't spent much of the first week watching any.
  11. Running helped me during my breakup back in January. What do I do now then? I was half tempted to apologise for how I acted earlier (whenever she texts me)... shall I not do that?
  12. Deep down I know it's this. It's almost as if my brain is trying to create problems/situations when there isn't any. Thanks, I seriously need to do these... especially 'relax'. Why on earth do I feel like I've blown it?
  13. I do and I don't. With friends, I go the gym 3-4 times a week, I'll go to the cinema in the week once a month, we'll go out on a Friday night maybe twice a month. However, everything in between I just can't seem to relax and switch off now. It's strange. The thing is... I never used to mind spending my weekends doing nothing, but now after spending proper time with someone again I'm absolutley dreading it and questioning how the hell I did it before. It's a great sign and in a joking way I sort of said to her sorry if I'm making this about me in any way (when I said I'll be bored), and told her she'll have a great time. It's a good question... what am I afraid of? Essentially I'm digging my own grave here... instead of just being cool with her going away and having a great time I'm letting on I'm sad about it. Why am I doing this? We're getting on great and it's stuff like this which would probably turn her off me. So frustrated with myself. 😣
  14. She's going camping with her friend and won't be back until next week. She came over earlier for half hour just to say goodbye etc... but I think I acted too needy and now I'm beating myself up. I told her I'd miss her and I didn't have much planned this weekend (probably came across I was sulking) even though we've only been dating 3-4 weeks now I'm so crazy about her, but it's so hard not to come across too full on. I also said I was going to the cinema next Wednesday but was willing to drop it if it meant seeing her a day earlier. She insisted I go to the cinema and we can see each other the day after. I don't want to push her away by seeming too needy and I even said that to her which probably didn't help things. She played it down but Christ, we've been seeing each other barely a month... it's so hard to slow my mind down about her, she's literally all I think about so it makes trying to get on with other areas of my life really hard. I'm really not looking forward to this weekend for example and doing nothing. Yet before I met this girl, I wouldn't have gave it a second thought. For context we've had really good dates so far, like really good, but I'm just scared to death my needyness is going to drive her way. Easy said but I can't remember ever feeling this way about someone before. Any advice or simply slow my roll..?
  15. All depends how you feel about it I guess. Some people would love the attention, others not so much and as stated already, would find it creepy. If it's lead you to creating a post about it on here you'll probably not entirely comfortable with him doing it...
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