From an article by Jill P. Weber Ph.D. about emotionally unavailable men.
"The “aloofness factor”—looking desirable, in control, and yet, not being fully present—that unavailable men carry leaves the observer (typically a woman) feeling she has discovered an exotic jewel of wonder, and it leaves her wanting to come closer and to know more about him."
"And just when she is about to give up, he throws another reinforcer at her (likes her pictures on social media, suggests they take a trip, initiates a deep conversation, buys her exotic flowers), and with that, she falls back into the pattern."
"in fact will avoid anything that has to do with the you that is messy or complicated. He only cares about the “you” who is in the service of his needs, schedule, and desires. Even if at some point you try to be your true self with him or open up on some deeper level, he will evade and dodge your overtures."
Imagine attempting a lifetime partnership, or raising children with the unavailable man. He will never be there for you in a reliable way, and you will do all of the work to maintain your life together."