LaHermes

Pecisely Jib. So why torment your mind any further. To what end? Do you want to go crazy yourself? Please do not.

Not really OP. If that were the case a very large proportion of the population would never have a relationship again. The trick is not to take up with the wrong kind of person, the emotionally damaging sort. Neither of the two relationships is worth your pain or your tears.

Jibralta. I've read your thread. Being frank, I would have nothing further to do with them. You will never get love, in any shape or form, from them. They are pure toxicity. The way I look at these things, Jib, is: life is all too short. You cannot even imagine the relief, not to say the exhilaration, you would experience if you turn your back on this lot and get rid of the poison. It makes no difference what you do, or don't do, while they are in the picture. Ignore, not ignore, try boundaries (futile), torture your brain with ideas that might improve an unimprovable situation. I don't get these hangups about "family". These are not even lovable people, not even likeable. Of course they don't. They don't even see you as a person. The sky won't fall, I can assure you, if you get rid of this toxicity out of your life, and, more importantly, you will flourish.

"“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” ― Harlan Ellison “Irony is wasted on the stupid” ― Oscar Wilde

"“No one heals himself by wounding another.” "Everyone who wants to do good to the human race always ends in universal bullying". Aldous Huxley

Actually a "crazy" American. Born in Chicago.

Absolutely, Bolt. All that said I don't think the OP is coming back to us!

IAgree with Lost. Once travel becomes easier and less restricted just go to that country for a holiday.

Look Gringo. If you want to get it out of your system do take a holiday in Ecuador. Meet this woman. See how you feel. Guessing and wondering (and stereotyping) get us nowhere.

Look, Gringo, you never know. A month is too short a time one way or another. So maybe she is not a scammer. She may well be genuine. On the other hand any half-way skilled scammer does not ask straight up for anything, and certainly not within a month. What about the father of her children? And remember you are also just a face on a screen to her. How does she know you are "dependable". I am merely saying this so you can see it blows both ways. You could tell her anything. And so could she. As I said earlier take a holiday to the country she is in (Equator, well that narrows it down lol) and see how it goes in person. "The equator passes through three countries in South America. They are Ecuador, Colombia, and Brazil."

I utterly agree Tiny.

You are in the U.S. gringo. As other posters have pointed out there are thousands and thousands of Latina women in the U.S. Generalizations! There may well be some men like this in "Latin America" and cheaters and the work-shy exist in every country, including the U.S. and over here as well. And a man can never be "too masculine". LOL. If you want to travel to South America, experience the culture and see how you like it, why not? Plan a holiday there, maybe a month if you can manage that. Maybe if you meet her in person the whole situation might be entirely different. Meantime, you have only been talking online to this woman for a month. And, yes, she is only a picture on a screen.

What is your instinct saying, Gringo? You ask: Am I being scammed? A month is a very short time. Could I enquire if there is some reason why you are not dating locally, or within your territory anyhow.

"I think the scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. Michael J. Fox It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you. Margaret Cho

“The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject.” Marcus Aurelius “The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.” Albert Camus

"Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come." Robert H. Schuller

This has to be "prize for best fiction" week.

“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.” ― Brené Brown

Been reading again "Darkness Falls from the Air" by Nigel Balchin. Have read most of his books. Set in WWII and post-war years. http://www.nigelmarlinbalchin.co.uk/

The operative word in there is "genuine". Some people can be trained to "work the room" so to speak. They don't have genuine interest, it is a part played.

Genuine people create connection and find depth even in short, everyday conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they're told to other important facets of the speaker's life. They aren't driven by ego.

That's some girl. She was 21 there. Very self-possessed

It's OK Atlguy. Look, down through the decades some couples dated for ages before marrying, some dated for a shorter time. Same as now, some courtships were shorter, some longer. My late parents dated for close on two years before marrying, and that was quite a while ago I can assure you. Gosh, from what my parents used to comment there were these very lengthy engagements sometimes, as in 4 or 5 years! And moving into the present time, we dated for close on two years before marrying, and going through the couples we know far and wide that would have been more or less the norm. As you say what you describe is indeed YOUR story, and it is sad that their marriage was so wrong. Equally sadly you say that dysfunction in the home shaped your life in horrible ways, but, you see, how you feel your life turned out has nothing to do with whether this or that couple dated for a longer or shorter period back in the day. In your parents' case your mother was pregnant, and back in those times marriage was the only option in such cases. I can understand you are trying to "see" all the angles of this possible future with this woman from another country. It is probably nerve-wracking. If you are certain that life with this woman from Ukraine can bring you peace and contentment, then who are we to say "nay". All we ask is that you think matters through very carefully.