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helpme02

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Everything posted by helpme02

  1. lately i've been really stressed out...and today i dont know why but i feel an emptiness. its not like i lost anything important lately or that i miss somebody b/c no one has gone away in years. i dont understand why i am happy one day and the next there is a huge whole that nothing can fill. i've had a big urge to cut and im trying not to do it but i still really want to...even if i do everything else i can think of...after all of it i still want to cut. the big problem is if i do end up cutting my dad is going to get very angry. i dont think i can stop cutting...its only been about a week and im already falling apart. what can i do to get my mind off cutting? how can i stop these urges?...if anybody has anything advice that can help it would be greatly appreciated...thanks.
  2. if i say anything here i want it to be this....you are sooo AMAZING!!!!! now let me explain....some people have the greatest lives ever!!! but they think its the worst....you are going through a really tough time and you're still here!!! just wanted to point something out....some people attempt suicide only once and are dead. some people cut only once or twice and they end up slitting their wrists...and they are dead. obviously...you are meant to do great things in your lifetime, weather you live to be 20 or 100 you are going to acomplish something that will change the world....otherwise god would just let you die on a first attempt. you are loved by so many and have such deep thoughts....so atleast your figuring yourself out. ((which is more than other ppl can do)) about you having only one true friend....well i used to have a friend that no one really talked to except me. we were the best of friends and i love her sooo much! but one day she killed herself...and i realized just how many people truley cared about her....so if you think that you are alone your not. hang in there...adn good luck
  3. my question is...why would you want that forever...do you want that torture and pain for eternity?? b/c if you do then i am very sorry and i just wish i could help you out...
  4. ...thats terrible. i mean if you saw it...wouldn't that mean that if you would have died right then you'd be down in hell right this very second? i mean i think its terrible if anybody has to be put through so much pain for eternity but if thats what you want...its your life. i just hope you dont have to end up being tortured like that...
  5. what about all the other times? i mean when people screw up really badly where do they go? if they dont ask for forgivness....
  6. i've been reading the posts about cutting and if its wrong or right. for one thing....i think everybody has their own opinion and no one can ever step in and say that an opinion is wrong. but as far as if i think its wrong or right....i think its wrong. just about 2 or 3 weeks ago i thought that cutting was great. it released everything i felt...i could set myself aside from the world for a few minutes and just watch blood flood down my wrist and hit the ground...it was an amazing feeling that nothing else can bring to you. it was no longer pain...it was...beautiful. i started loving that feeling and began to do it just to watch blood flow and to see cuts appear...mainly to know i was still here. as much as i loved the feeling...deep inside i knew it was wrong for me to be doing it. i kept thinking what happens if i slip and cut a vien?? well when i was doing it...i thought that would be great. but lately i've realized that dying from suicide would only bring you to a worse place...with many more problems...except in this place there would be NO way out. you are able to think anything you want about cutting...but just know that you can "feel alive" with other stuff....it doesn't have to be just cutting. i think you should try to find somehting else that makes you feel alive and if that doesn't work...but you seriously have tried your best then its okay to cut. ((if thats what you want)) but as far as the question goes...once again i say...i think its wrong and people should have never started doing it...it just ruins everything.
  7. my best friend has tried to kill herself many times before. she hates herself and she thinks shes just a terrible person. the truth is that i look up to her...she is my hero. shes everything i want to be and so much more. shes smart,pretty, has a great personality, is loved by many, but she still hates herself. shes been a cutter for sometime now and she still occasionally tries to kill herself. shes never really scared me until lately. i can't live without her...i mean i've already had two of my best friend pass away i dont need another one to go too. she means everything to me and i can't lose her! lately shes been having a tough time dealing with everything....and we dont talk as much about stuff like we used to. im so scared that shes gonna do something...except i get the feeling that this time if she does....she'll be gone. what can i do??? how do i talk to her?? please help
  8. hey...okay well i felt like i should reply to this b/c i had a couple of things to say. for one thing...im the friend that got caught. after reading this post i realize how i've screwed up so much for my best friend! i mean...when i was cutting i didn't think about anything except my life...but lately ((after i got caught)) i started seeing how much i was hurting the people around me. to ashley...im sooo sorry!!!! none of this is your fault so dont worry...we both know it wasn't the movie and my dad doesn't hate you at all! i dunno why he had to go and talk to your mom but i just am so sorry for messing your life up along with mine. i wish we could all just go back in time and change everything..but we can't so we're just going to deal with this. i love you and im here for you! they are not going to take me away from you...trust me! they said that i have to screw up again and im not going to let myself mess up bad enough for them to take me away from you or anybody else. no matter what im always right by your side so whenever you need to talk im here to listen! i love you so much! your the best....stay strong...b/c we need to get through this together. bye...
  9. thanks everybody for your replies...but umm i didnt have to tell my parents about it. my dad noticed that i kept showing him the other arm and made me show him the one with cuts all over it. he got very very angry and is really disappointed in me. he's been having hour long talks with me everyday and doesn't trust me at all anymore. he tells me that im not his daughter if i chose to do this and that im so stupid for doing this. it really puts me down when my family talks to me this way. also he thinks i did it all trying to commit suicide...but i didn't. i've tried suicide before but he thinks that every cut is for suicide. i guess im just gonna have to deal with this and see how it goes but thanks to all those ppl that have been supportive and helpful!
  10. last night my parents got home from being away for like 2 weeks. we were in the kitchen and my dad saw the cuts on my arms. he made me show him my arm so i showed him the one that only had a few cuts on it...((not the one thats covered in cuts)) ...i told him that i fell and that it just kinda left those cuts on there but he started yelling that he was not that stupid and he didn't believe that i just fell. i tried to get away from him...he finally let me go to bed but then my sisters walked in and started saying that they know that i cut and that i should just tell them. so they are all waiting for me to admit to them that i do it....the only problem is that they got very very mad when they found out...i dont want to tell them b/c i already feel like im not enough for them and that i dont fit into my family...i dont want them to think less of me than they already do. what am i supposed to do? is there anyway i can get out of this? if you have any answers or words of advice please respond. thank you....
  11. in my opinion...dpressedone89 shouldn't get mad. we all know what its like and we dont wanna hurt you by any means. i understand that you dont want peoples opinion to be that you are just seeking attention but in your post it just kind of sounded like that. none of us should jump to conclusions about anything but thats why in the relplies people asked if you were doing it for attention. we care about you and the last thing we want is for you to hurt even more.
  12. i know everyone has thoughts at one point or another of suicide...and alot of people try to carry out those thoughts....but what do you do when those thoughts flood your head like crazy? what do you do when you just sit there like in school and all you can think about is suicide...how do i shake those thoughts? the other night i tried to commit suicide again...i've done it a couple of times but all i end up doing is passing out or something. i dont know what keeps me here and what keeps me going...but all the time my head is full of thoughts about being dead and killing myself. can someone please help me get over this? these thoughts are making me go insane...so please help if you can...
  13. hey ash...i know you dont wanna hear this from me but i love you so much! and i wanna talk to you about this...i dont want you to hurt anymore and im here for you to talk to...ALWAYS! i know i can always count on you...and i hope you know that you can always count on me...so if you want my help...i'll help you...and if you dont then thats okay but im still here for you incase you need someone to talk to...I LOVE YOU! your the best!
  14. most of my friends get mad everytime they find out i cut again. im trying to stop but i never realized how hard it would be. i know that i am really hurting the people around me and that it makes them worry about me ...but somtimes its so annoying. they watch over my every move, they tell me i dont need to be doing it and that i should stop right now or else they'll tell, they check my arms, and they always get mad when i do it. lately i've realized that people go through much worse lives than me...and that cutting for something like getting mad at your friends is so stupid...but still...i can't help it. i want to know how i can stop...if theres anybody that has a good way of doing that please let me know. i dont wanna live this life anymore...but i dont wanna end it either...i wanna change it. please help if you can...
  15. i know you want to stop...and i know how hard it is for you to stop....but some people are getting really scared. they are saying that its scaring them b/c they think your going to slip and die. i love you sooo much and your my bestest friend! you know im always gonna be here for you to have your back and help you out of that huge hole your in. we've gone through so much together...and im not gonna let you go through this alone! i love you so much and i understand what your going through. we'll get through this....im here for you!
  16. if i were you i would just stop right now...and never cut again. i regret ever starting and now i wish i could stop. cutting is not the only way to deal with things no matter how bad they get. try not to go further down this road..b/c its not a happy one. find different ways to deal with your pain. anything that helps...as long as your not hurting yourself. dont let yourself get addicted to cutting...once you are...its really hard to stop. talk to people and try to keep your anger under control. if you need to talk you can IM me and we'll talk....good luck
  17. hey...well you've kinda already talked to me about this. its not good that your doing doing it just for the pleasure of seeing something happen. but i kinda know how you feel. some of the times thats what i cut for...just to see the steps occur one after another. maybe youre just feeling the need to control something in your life? or maybe you just need to tell your brain that you're still alive and that youre not completely falling apart and seeing yourself bleed and feeling pain is telling you...hey im still here. i dunno but these are just some things i know that i feel alot when i cut without a particular reason. maybe next time you wanna cut talk to someone or find a way to say whatever you are feeling, not just anger, or sadnes, there might be something else causing it. thats just my suggestions but whatever you decide to do...good luck!
  18. naw shes not gonna do that...if she doesn't stop and i do....and i keep telling her to stop. and if she keeps scaring me ((after i stop)) then i'll tell on her...thats a promise..thats the only thing we can do....love you!
  19. sorry that i make you so mad...but you KNOW that im actually trying to stop. about ashley...i dunno if she is..but once again your going off saying the same stuff. and all those times we argue about ashley and her reasoning....well yeah im just trying to defend my best friend for right now. she needs someone to be there for her and understand her and stand up for her when nobody else will...im sorry but im not gonna leave her hanging like everybody else has done for me! but jarred, please dont get so mad...im trying my hardest to stop...ashley hasn't done it since your lil party thing anyways...so as long as i try to stop...so does she. sorry that this whole thing has made you mad so many times...and that its caused you alot of pain but i love you! and thanks for being such a great "big brother" ...bye..
  20. ...thats good advice! and thank you so much...but theres just one thing...see all my friends think the same thing. they say that if i stop so will she. so i tried to stop...but it didn't work. i was getting so worried about my friend that i lied to her and told her that i had stopped cutting...but a day or two later she saw the cuts. We're really close and we tell eachother everything. She said the reason she started cutting was b/c she hated herself, that she tried so hard to be good at something but it never worked. i tried to tell her something...but she like ignored it or something. I told her..that shes my role model...that shes everything i wanna be and that if i could even be half as good at her at things...it would be great. i told her shes such an amazing person and that i look up to her...well i used to think all that stuff about her. but now...shes changing. if shes trying to be like me....i want her to stop and be like herself. i've already been such a bad influence b/c before me she never did anything bad...nothing at all. i dont know how to talk to her about this cutting thing...b/c she'll just be like well you do it too...im so confused and worried about her...please help!
  21. ...im sorry that youre having this problem with your friend. Making her promise not to cut isn't going to do anything. i've made so many promises to people in the past....i've looked some of my best friends in the eyes and said im not gonna do it again....but i did it anyways. maybe try talking to her...be the one she can lean on when everything else seems to be going wrong. and when you do talk to her...and shes mad or sad about something and she feels like cutting, calm her down and talk her out of it. dont start getting angry or "upset" with her b/c that will just add on more to her pain. good luck with this...and i hope your friend stops soon...
  22. my best friend found out that i've been cutting, since then so has she. i think that the only reason she started is b/c of me. now im getting really scared b/c her sister found out and now she does it too. Then some of her sisters friends found out...now they too do it. I feel like its all my fault that this chain of people even started....it makes me feel like im so stupid for ever doing it or anything! at first, i thought theyre cuts wouldn't even be that bad, my best friends been showing me hers...and theyre pretty bad..but then her sisters are bad just cuz they are in a really noticeable place. Im scared for them b/c if her sis gets caught...so will she. I dont want them to get caught, or to even keep doing it. How do i get them to stop? i've tried talking to my best friend...but she wont listen. i dunno what to do....please help me if you can. Thanks..
  23. i love you too! ....your my best friend lauren!
  24. oh yeah i defenitaly understand...especially cuz im real close to the situation....((if you know what i mean)) thanks for worrying about me so much but really..im fine...
  25. just telling yawl...we all know how you feel about that girl...and once in awhile give yourselfs a chance! but about her cutting...shes gonna stop! no offence or anything but you really need to give us a chance to stop...you watching our every move just bothers us more and more....thanks for being such good and caring friends but just let us free for alittle bit. i dunno weird but we will stop...eventually anyways....i love yawl! so dont be mad...
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