radicalguru

he sounds a little confused and his confusion may be because of fear. maybe he is scared of the commitment. the only way that you can help the situation is let the subject of marriage be a comfortable one and not one that he should get scared about. let him know that you are ready to talk and listen without him being scared of being judged or a reaction.

hey tom, do what needs to be done and that is what seems the right thing for you to do. perhaps you should tell your friend that he should be more honest with her. address it first with him so that its not like you didnt tell him what you think.

the three key words that constitute a real relationship are trust, belief and understanding. neither can survive without the other. if he has lost your trust and belief, the understanding will not last forever. by which time not only will you feel heartbroken, but also used. take your pick

hi missy, i dont want this to sound like a lecture. so, will say this in almost clinical terms. we define how others treat us. your willingness to allow your ex to keep in touch and say what he wants to, and your optimism to try and hear some positive signal frm him has now become the norm of the relationship. thus, while his needs of "chatting with a friend" are being fulfilled, your needs are being shattered. now its time for you to decide whether or not you can play the role of the friend without being shattered. if so, keep going. if not, then clearly to protect yourself, you need to move on and fast. and incidentally, the forties are the finest age for women. trust me! its a mans thing!!! smile and love yourself,,,,

hey all, thank you all so much for your thoughts. though i am sensitive to my feelings, i often get overwhelmed with the dual emotions of fear and guilt. the fear of loss and the guilt of hurting someone who only meant well. thats not good, but its real and its true. and scary! it is difficult to discuss my emotions with people that i know because around where i live, it is a very tight knit community. your thoughts have helped give me perspective on my situation. in a way, i am at greater peace with myself. thanks,

just signed up to this site, hoping to find answers to the way that i feel. i am male, single 32 and have come out of what can only be called a disastrous marriage. my wife harassed me to the point where i could take it no longer. we were separated two years ago. i got involved with a very close girlfriend. we understand each other well and she takes care of me as i could never have imagined. she genuinely loves me very much and i can confidently say that in todays day and age it will be impossible to find anybody who can care for me even a fraction of how much she does. the past year has been a professionally tormenting year for me. i have now begun to lose interest inmy current relationship. i prefer being alone or if i want to go out i'd rather go outwith a bunch of people than go out alone with my current girlfriend. sexually, i try to avoid any contact. this is very unfair on her and though she has brought it up a couple of times i deny it and dont have the heart totell her the way i truly feel. i know this is a precious relationship, but don't feel any passion in it. where do i go from here?