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1.)4 years, 3 months 2.) 3 months 3.) "Confused, needs space, another guy, she didn't communicate, I couldn't read her mind...... 4.) I am 26, she is 24.

Singles!

This may sound a little weird..... This space has given me a great opportunity to step back and see things. My ex says she started to fall out of love with me about April. (Two months before we broke up.) This may sound F'ed up, but I think I started to fall out of love with her about a year ago. (yeah, I know.) Hence, pushing her away. I just haven't realized it. Our relationship for the past year had turned out to be a power struggle. I was incomplete this whole time, so I couldn't get my energy (or love) from within. I had to compete for it. Meanwhile, she's been whole and had stuck with me this whole time. Wow! So after about a year, she falls out of love with me (I can't argue with that), and starts to feel incomplete. She has to replace the NRG, or the love somehow. (Hence the other guy.) She is confused. But since the break, I have been learning about myself again, I'm becoming me. (The point where I was when we met.) I have my power back, I have found the love within. I am strong again. I also know that I love her, completely. I don't need power or energy or love from her. I want to love her. I know this sounds a little weird. I just don't know if she can heal, and get to the point where I am if she doesn't have the chance to be alone and find herself. Maybe she is while she is with someone else, but I don't know. I hope the real me can get back with the real her, like we did when we first met. If I can realize that I love her, and that I've always loved her, can she? I guess if it was meant to be, it will. I know it is. I deserve this time away from her, I got what I asked for. I guess it's in the hands of the gods. Thanks for listening.

Hey, Lost Angel, I wouldn't take too much stock in what he told you (or yelled at you). It was a fight, you both probably didn't mean it. The worst comes out in a fight. He is probably regretting what he said. I think you just need to get to a space where you can talk to him without fighting. I know, it's hard. You want him right now. But you just have to let go a bit. You seem to know what you're doing. You know doing this is a bad choice. You just have to follow that voice in your head, not your heart. Just give it time. (I know, I need to take my own advice) Do as much as you can. For now, a week or two. But if you talk to him after that, make it as pleasant as possible. Keep doing that, and work on your emotions so there doesn't have to be a fight again. You should work very hard at that, there shouldn't be another one, you're not going to get back with him if you're fighting with him. I think he is confused. If he's trying to make a decision right now, he'll pick positive over negative anytime. 'IF' he's thinking about a new possibility of interest (not to say there is a new girl), that relationship is obviously going to be 'happier'. (It'll be newer, he'll think it is easier, there won't be all the problems bringing him down.) You can't continue to be the negative choice. It'll take patience, time, strength, independence, all of that. (Like I know what I'm talking about). I'm still trying to get my ex. But time does heal, and I'm not feeling as desperate as I have felt in recent past. Anyway, everyone hang in there, and good luck!

"....no one's posted anything new, no one cares....." Trust me, people care. How do you know that he'll go back to his ex? You said he just went on saw her once? I wouldn't be too insecure about it. Have you talked to him about it? Don't act jealous about it, just tell him how you feel about it. I can relate to what you're talking about, but have a different perspective. My ex of over four years split up with me and immediately went to someone else. That also has been 2.5 months. We tried to hang out and do the friends thing, but it hasn't worked for me. I don't think that she was trying to get back with me, so it doesn't necesarrily mean your guy is trying to get back with her. Give him his space, but also don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. Good luck!

I have been feeling bad about my actions on Saturday. So, I emailed the ex an apology this morning. (I wasn't wrong to feel the way I did, but it was wrong acting the way I did.) I just got a response saying..."Thanks for the apology, it means a lot to me." I was just worried that my actions would push her away. Does this mean that it hasn't? Also, I had an awesome dream last night that we got back together. Oh, well. I'll try to hang in there. Have a nice night!

Oh, yeah... I just thought of something. The last time we saw each other (two weeks ago Tuesday) we were talking about us, and she said that she'd go and do her thing and I would go and do my thing, and after a while we might get back together. What is she thinking? If she thought I was such a bad boyfriend, why would she keep saying these things. (She said a while ago that I'm pulling it out of her, but most the time she says those things on her own.) And why would she keep contacting me and showing up to places where she knows that I'll be at? If she has all these problems with me, why does she want to be my best friend? Thanks, I just needed to vent.

how's everyone's weekend going? Need advice..... Last night I went to my friend's and his girlfriend's new place for a party. I've been hanging out with them this past week and helping them move. Well, thinking ahead to the party, I knew there would be a chance of the ex being there. (She is 'sort of' friends with his girlfriend.) I told my friend that I didn't want the ex to be there. He assured me there was NO WAY she would be invited, and if she was there's no way she'd get to come. He discussed this with his girlfriend a couple times. Well, his girlfriend is really good friends with my exes' friend. She was hanging out with my ex last night and told her that my friends girlfriend, personally, 'wouldn't mind' if my ex showed up. So guess what? She shows up! I was hanging out, having a great time, and I get a warning that she was there. I guess she parked in back and asked my friend if she could. He immediately and kind of rudely tells her no. She does anyway. If she has her new awesome life, and she KNOWS I would be there, why would she waste her time and show up? And the kicker about the whole thing is that she barely even talks to my friends girlfriend the whole time. She barely even talks to her best friend. After a while, trying to chill out and ignore her, I go try to talk to her. We share a long, close hug. And she tells me that I look good. After another while, my emotions are starting to get to me, I go ask her why she's even there. She knows this is hard for me and she SHOULDN'T be there. She says she was invited. ???? I told her that she has barely even talked to my friends girlfriend. She replies by saying that this is the way I have been the whole four years we'd been together. I told her I'm just seeing the way things are. She brings up the relationship. Well we kind of argue outside kind of in front of people (not fighting). She was the one who was arguing, I was just trying to tell her how I felt. After a few minutes, I can't take anymore, and i say my final statement. She starts to respond by starting out with a .....'Sweety!.....' I look at her and repeat what she just said......'Sweety??????!!'...... I can't believe it. Why on earth would she refer to me as 'Sweety'? So what the hell? Is she playing with me (like she wants the attention)? Or does she just not give a *$#@? This is getting old. Thanks for the advice.

The more I think about this crazy mess the more I realize that it wasn't our 'problems' that caused the split. I think she was just using them as an excuse. (Also, her wanting to be independet, etc.; load of BS) They weren't a problem before, she never said anything this whole time. They just became a problem as soon as the new guy shows up. Before I found out there was another guy, she said it was the problems. She said she 'started fallling out of love' with me a couple months before the split. But after I found out, she said something started with him (not anything serious) a couple months before the split. Hmmm? She just wanted to be with this guy. And to make things worse, I know that they're not serious. ???????? So what's going to happen? Their relationship is built on stress, guilt, curiosity.... (pretty much on a negative platform). Our relationship, if anything, was based on a loving commitment. Plus, there's no way it couldn't be considered a rebound. So what then? When she's done with him she thinks she can come back to me? Since it wasn't our problems, and it was just her being curious about what else was out there, what happens if/when her and him fall apart? I've just entered the anger zone of dealing with this. Realizing I have been completely F'ed over. I absolutely know there's going to be a time when she hits the bottom, and she'll come back crawling to me (even just as a friend). What am I going to do then? I can either slap her and tell her to get the hell out, or I can forgive her and let her back into my heart. I think the longer she waits, the more likely of a chance I'll chose the slapping part. She better make up her mind quick. Sorry. Just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening!

Sneak in to her house or apartment and paint her walls a sunny, happy color!!! Get some flowers, etc............ Just an idea.

Don't contact her. Even when she emails you. Do not. I've learned the hard way. She doesn't see how her seeing another guy is a problem for you? I've gotten that. What a bunch of BS! Let her see what mistake she made, she can't if you're still in her life. Hang in there!

Thanks for telling your story, it helps out. I'm just only into month 3 and it's only getting a little easier. It sounds like it was about the same reason, my ex wanted time to think things through. Hopefully it will turn out the same way. About your situation, maybe (I know it would be hard) you could arrange a time where all three of you could meet for drinks or go out for dinner? I know it sounds funny. It's up to you, but maybe it would lighten things up a bit. Another question about your situation. Did you date other people? How did you handle the fact that he was dating other people? My ex went right into someone else. She's 24, he's 37. Does it sound like a rebound that won't last? Sorry to bug ya. Hang in there. Just look at the fact that you have your love back! Don't do anything to scare him off again. (Not that you did before.) Have a great night!

First of all, how did you guys get back together. My ex broke up with me a little over two months ago (needed space, etc...). We also had a four year relationship. Did he break up with you, or....? How did the other one get the other back? Congratulations anyway. I wouldn't push too hard. If he is obviously hurt about your 'jealousy' than I don't think anything's going on. Did you ask him to ask her to stop? There would maybe be a problem if you asked and he wouldn't respect your feelings. I know, relationships are hard. Good luck!

Anon, I feel for you. I'm going through the exact same thing! One thing that worries me though is that Ocean Eyes said she was keeping her ex close as a backburner type of situation. If you ignore all those attempts of contact by your ex, would you pushing away a chance to get back together? In my situation I have tried to talk about us, and I have gotten some good progress. And even after talking about us, and clearing up a lot of things, she has sent emails saying that I could write her anytime about anything. It doesn't sound like someone who really wants her space and time. I don't know, I guess it would be pretty hard for the dumper to start talking about the relationship. It would be like them saying that they're going back on their decision and want to work on things. It's just pretty confusing when you get an invite to talk about anything anytime. My ex also talked about her new guy on a couple occasions. I don't know what that is about. I don't know, I guess we have to hang in there! I'll keep watching your situation.

No doubt! Go Raiders!!!! It sucks too, because I got her IN to football! Not to mention baseball. Not that I'm a huge sports guy. But she talks to me the other day about all this stuff about the Raiders. What the....!!!