surferbabe

thanks for all of the imput guys... and in response to OldGuy, i'm 17 and he is 18. if this changes any of ur opinions please let me know

Hey, i ran into this guy a few weeks ago that i hadn't seen in like a year. we started talking and we really connected. he really wanted to see me again, so i went over to his house to watch a movie. i had been warned from a friend of his that he was most likely going to just try and get into my pants. i had heard other people say that he was like that too, but i don't like listening to rumors, and i've been in karate for forever, so i know that he couldn't do anything to me that i didn't want him to. also, i had a hard time believing that he'd do that to me because he was always saying really sweet stuff like "beautiful as an angel" and really sweet stuff like that. i didn't think that someone so sweet to me would try and hurt me. he ended up kissing me and it was really nice. i was afraid that he would try and do more, but he didn't try at all. all we did was kiss. a few days later we were talking about his past and he admitted that he had always gone for the "easy girl" the one would do stuff to him. he also told me that he had had sex several times before and even a one night stand. we started talking about how far i've gone (oral once) and that i wasn't ready to do anything else. he was really horny that night, and kind of hinting that he wanted me to do stuff, and i told him that he would have to wait a long time. he said that he was willing to wait as long as i needed. obviously, i was curious as to why he would wait instead of just go and get laid. he told me that he was tired of that and that he wanted a good relationship. so... my question is, can guys change? my friend thinks that he was saying this just to get me to hang out with him and then he would try and get in my pants. but i'm not sure. i do like this guy, but i tried not to because i know that he does have a bad rep. Please give me any input u have SurferBabe

this requires a little backgroud, so...here's the deal... i was at a youth campout and one of the guys there that i had known from before started completely flirting with me even though i had a boyfriend who was also attending the campout. the guy kept saying things like "you are soooo hot" and "can i have ur number so we can hook up after this guy" well i kept telling him to stop bc i knew sooner or later my bf would come along and he was usually not to far behind me. a few weeks later i see this guy at school while i'm talking with a friend of mine that this guy knows from boot camp or something of the sort. well at boot camp the next time, this guy tells two of my friends that he "can't wait for her and her bf to break up because i really really wanna bang her" well this really bugged me. i didn't care that he told my friends that he liked me, it was just how he said it that really bugged me. well, my bf and i broke up, and my friends knew, but they didn't want to tell him bc they didn't really like him (bc he does drugs and stuff which i don't approve of). well i was able to keep it secret for awhile, but then my ex told him that we broke up. to protect me, my friends came up with this plan of telling the guy that i was dating the one. they were hoping that this would make him want to fight my friend, and my other friend who is really buff would step in and give this guy what he deserves. well, today after school the guy kept hanging around me, so i told him that i was dating the guy. he got really angry but it didn't stop him from telling me i'm hot and sexy and things like that. i think he may try and go after my friend (just like they wanted in the plan) but i kinda feel bad. part of me doesn't want to hurt the guy bc he does compliment me, but then again i think he should be taught a lesson. what should i do? please help! Surferbabe

ok...this is going to take a few to explain. i was really good friends with these 3 people. the 4 of us were the best of friends, we did everything together. in 8th grade i also started hanging out with this other girl, Jane, but no where near as much as with the 3 other people. once we got to high school the 4 of us had tons of problems and are no longer friends. when this happened Jane was there for me and we became the best of friends. we were practically inseprable. but there was one problem, she was kind of a flake and would end up cancelling plans that we had made days in advance. at first i let it slide because she would always say she was sorry. but it became more frequent and to me it seemed like she didn't want to hang out with me. i talked to her about it and she said she didn't really realize my side of it and that she was sorry and would work on it. she didn't really get any better, but she didn't get worse. but we started to drift apart some but then things would happened and we'd be back like we were...joined at the hip. she started completely leaving me in the dust over boys (she had won 2 boys hearts and was kinda playing both of them) this really angered me and i talked to her about it, and it got pretty nasty and we pretty much cut all ties around may of this year. we didn't talk at all, which is kinda hard because she is right next to me in orchestra and we hang out with the same crowd. i know that earlier in the summer she asked her boyfriend (who i'm still good friends with) if i hated her. but i'm not sure what he told her. i told him that i wasn't sure, but i don't hate people, so i don't hate her, but i do dislike her, but that i'm pretty ehh whatever. we won't really have that much interacting next year so it doesn't matter all that much. but here's where i need help. this moring i got a message on aim: Jane Hey surferbabe...how's it goin...you're probably like...why the heck is she talking to me...hey...if it was the other way around i'd probably do the same thing...but i just wanted to let you know that i'm sorry for how everything turned out between us. I really have missed our friendship these past few months. I never really realized how much of a friend you were to me until i was a jerk and lost it. I was sleeping last night like i normally do, and i dreampt that we started talking again and being friends, and it's not like everything was back to normal, but at least we were talking, and i woke up this morning and i was really sad. I was like...dang...i wish that was how it really was... Jane: so i guess that was kinda my inspiration to talk to you this morning and ask if there is any way if we can try to be friends again. Not try and get things back to how they were before cause that may be hoping for too much...but just being able to say hi in the halls or talk online or something...i dunno maybe i'm just being crazy...right now you probably never want to talk to me again...and if that's the case...i totally understand...but i just wanted to let you know what was goin on on my side of the computer screen Jane anyway...i hope you're having an awesome summer...i heard you got a boyfriend and i think that's awesome and i hope you guys are doin good...and maybe i'll talk to ya later she completely caught me off guard, and i have no idea what to do... any help will be complete appericated SurferBabe

i've been reading some posts and it seems that in all the relationships the guy is older. is it any different if the girl is older? i'm 2 years older than my boyfriend... and i doesn't bug me at all, but it seems to really bug some people including one of my closest friends. i didn't even think anything of it being bad until my close friend shared his feelings with me. he said stuff like "did you kidnap the poor kid?" and this really hurt me and made me wonder if the guy should be the older one. please give me ur imput! ~SurferBabe

my ex was slobbery, and i did ForAnother did, but he didn't seem to get it. so i sat down with him, and told him "look, ur a good kisser, and i love kissing you, but u just get too slobbery sometimes" he was really sorry and worked on not doing it anymore... he didn't even realize that he was doing it. if u have more questions or want to know more about this, pm me. SurferBabe

u probablly just tore something in her.... one night i was getting fingered and it was a little uncomfortable at one time and afterwords there was some blood but it stopped after a day or so and there really wasn't that much at all. if she hasn't doen anything else sexual, or hasn't worn tampons, u could have just broken her hymn, which happens and is no big deal. i hope this helps. if u want to know more, u can pm me SurferBabe

since you are too afraid to give him a hand job, you might want to start slow. for me, the first time i gave a hand job, it wasn't a real one. i did hand job motion, rubbing his sick, but my hand was on his clothes, not touching skin. and if ur guy is like any of the guys i've done stuff with, he will help u by moving ur hand to where he likes it best. when u get comfortable with that, then you'll be ready to move on to a real hand job. i hope this helps. if you have any other questions, you can pm me and i'll try to help ya SurferBabe

thanks for the imput LittleMissConfused. to answer ur questions, i'll be 17 next month, and i don't think that i am too young for this type of relationship. i have told him before that i don't want to have sex if we are just fwb because i want to wait and have it with someone who loves me and cares about me. he asked me if he should be prepaired with a condom, just in case, and i told him the same thing again, but he did have a condom with him (kinda made me relieved, just in case stuff happened) and he kept kinda asking, even though he know that i don't want to with him, or not as fwb. i was hoping that maybe this was a sign that he still had feelings for me to. i dunno, maybe its false hope. on the talking issue, he and i can talk about anything and everything, the only thing is, i told him i would do it with no intention of getting back together, so i'm afraid if i talk to him about it he'll get mad at me, and then not only will we not be fwb, we won't be friends at all. the thing is, i always pictured fwb to be doing sensual stuff, but not like kissing. in the car, before we did anything, we were holding hands, and then (after he parked) he leaned over and kissed me. i dunno...i just didn't that that as fwb he would bother spending time kissing, but we kissed most of the night, while doing other stuff... i dunno...maybe i'm just completely wrong. SurferBabe

this guy and i dated for like a month and it was kinda weird, although people thought we would last forever. we had an instant connection, but because of other things a relationship didn't work out. however, we remained best of friends, talking about everything. he was trying to get over this girl, and i asked him if there was anything i could do to help so he brought up the idea of benificial friends. i didn't really have a problem with it, because i still had feelings for him (this was 6 months later) but he ended up getting a girlfriend, so we called things off and he found out that i was going to do it try and get back together with him, which he didn't want. then his gf cheated on him, and he was really depressed. i offered to become "friends" again, but this time i knew not to expect a relationship. we set a date, and but stuff happened, so we never got together. finally we set a date, and we actually did it. we went all the way to oral, which was big for me, bc i really hadn't done anything. he was really passionate and for awhile he seemed to me fine just kissing, something we did alot when we were dating. do you think there's any way we'll get back together? can people really just be friends with benifits and no feelings? please tell me what u think SurferBabe

for me, the first couple of times that i tired to use a tampon, it hurt so bad that i would barely put it in and then i'd give up. it tured out i was at the wrong angle or something ( i don't remember anymore). what helped for me, even though this may seem gross, is i got curious one day and fingerend myself, after that, i didn't have a problem putting in a tampon because i knew exactly where to put it. and about the fainting part, you probablly just freaked yourself out and that's how u reacted. whenever i get really overworked i feel like i'm gunna faint and stuff. i hope i helped a little SurferBabe