blondie04

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years a few months ago because he need to get himself together. I did not want to do it because loved him (still do) but I thought it would be my best way to help him grow up. Any way, he called me a month ago and wanted us to get back together. Before I said yes, I asked him was it what he wanted and was he ready for it because I did not have time to play any games. He replied YES. During the time we broke up he went to a nearby state to make some money so he can do right by me and his son we share together. He came home and we talked and had a wonderful time. He told me how much he love me and want us to be together. He also told my family and friends the same thing. He was so loving and caring. He went back out of town, and we talked twice. He said he would be coming home in a few weeks and he now has a reason to come back because he feel he has his family again. I have not heard from him since then. This was a month ago. He has not contacted his father either and they are close. What is going on here? I thought this is what he wanted. Is he playing games, telling me what he thought I wanted to hear or what? I really need some help with this. I am really confused and hurt!! Blondie04

I don't think she needs to be chatting with this guy at all. If you are married she need to expressing her thought to you. I know everyone want friends, but this is going too far. If there is something missing in her life that she is trying to fill she should be talking to you about it after all you are her husband. Maybe she needs something to do with her time because she is bored. If she is not working maybe find a part time job or some other kind of recreation. Better yet find something that you two can do together to spice things up again. You need to find out why is she chatting with this guy so much. Don't come off as is you are attacking her because she will only chat with him more. Just tell her you are trying to find a way to fill what she is missing in her life. Good Luck!

If he is interested in you, he should give you some time under the circumstances and work with you. What you went through I something that will always be in your mind. On the other hand. My advice to you is nothing can change what happened in the past. If you ever want to have a relationship with anyone you have to find a way that works for you to get over your fears. Maybe some counseling will help. If you want to spend time with him, first let him come to your house where you feel is your comfort zone or maybe have a friend or family member be at the house but not in the way. Do this until you feel you can do it without anyone being around. This should show him that you trust him and is trying to show you are interested. If he can't do that then maybe he is not the one for you. Good Luck!!

I know how you feel. When in you eyes your mate cheated on you its hard to deal with. If you want the relationship to work first you have to let go of the past. I know it is easier said then done. As they say you can forgive but you wont forget. I think the both of you have earn each others trust again and it could take some time. It can work if you both work at it. Don't worry yourself about what she did with that guy that was in the past and there is nothing you can do that will change it. The only thing you will accomplish is building a hatred towards her for doing it. If you want the relationship to work you have to let it go don't bring it up. The last thing a person want to hear is how they messed up. They know that already. Your g/f believe you taking her back is a sign that you know she messed up and have forgiven her for it. If you don't let it go, you probably wont have a future together. I hope things work out for you. Good Luck!!

I think if you want to be with her tell her. You may be surprised she may want the same thing. The both of you need to determine if this is what you want and make a decision. If you (and your ex) are dating other people, be up front with them and tell them what you want from it whether its just casual dating, no commitment, etc. The last thing either of you need to do is bring someone else into your lives thinking they have a chance of a relationship when they don't because you are still interested in each other.

My son's father and I have been together for 3 years. This past January I broke up with him because he needed to make some changes. I really did not want to do it, but I felt that was the only way he would realize he needed to get it together and appreciate the relationship. In March he called me, and we had a great conversation. He said he had butterflies in his stomach when he called like it was when we first met. He said he thank me for doing what I did because if I didn't he don't know where he would be. After a few more conversations he asked if we could get back together. He said he never stopped loving me, and if you really love a person it doesn't go away like that. I asked him was he sure this is what he wanted and was ready for it. He said yes. So I agreed. (I never stopped loving him either). He is temporarily in another nearby state(2 hours away) because it was easier to find employment. He said he was trying to make some money and get another car and he was coming back, but he came up for our son's first birthday party (In April). While he was here he told me how much he loves me and we are going to be fine. He had a similar conversation with my mother telling her how much he want our relationship to work and that he loves me. He even told my kids he was coming back soon because he missed them and so on and so forth. Since he went home we talked twice and he said he would be back soon. He has not called me since then. I have no way of contacting him because the cell phone number he had is disconnected. What is going on is he trying to play games. I ask this because he has been calling his mother even though the number he had is disconnected (Still has not called me) What was the point of asking to get back together if he was going to act like this? I never expected something like this from him. I am really confused at what he want. Help!!! Thank you for reading this, I know it is a bit long. I would really appreciate some feedback on this. Thanks Blondie04

I was in a relationship with this guy for 3 years. We split up in January and his father called me trying the what he say break the ice. I broke up with him because he had issues that was overcoming him. Not because I stopped loving him or he stopped loving me. My boyfriend or should I say ex-boyfriend have a 1-year-old son together. When his father told him it was o.k to call me he did. He said he was nervous to call me at first. After we talked a few times he told me he wanted us to get back together, and he went to this other state to get himself together so he could do the right thing.before I said yes, I asked him was this what he really wanted and was he ready to do this because I don't have time to play any games. He said he was positive. When he came for our son's first birthday party we had a great time. When he went home(which right now is in another state temporarily) he called me twice. After that I have not heard anything from him and this has been about 3 weeks. He had a cell phone which is now disconnected. Even though he is not calling me his is calling his mother on a regular basis.(Something that he rarely has done since we have been together). He has not called his father either and that is the person he was very close to. His step father told me that my ex feels he has to have all of this money in order to contact me. I can't believe he said that because I was with hime when he had little money or none at all. His stepdad said he know that he loves me, it is just a man thing. Just keep doing what I am doing and he will come around. My Question is what the *Bleep* is going on here. I thought this was something he wanted. He came to me with the notion of getting back together. This was something that I wanted to, but now I am confused. Why haven't he called, what is trying to prove if anything? Blondie04)

My ex-boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have had some problems in the past, but we got through them. 3 months ago I broke up with him. he called me in March. When we talked he asked if we could try again he want the relationship to work because he never stopped loving me it do not go away like that. I agreed to try and work it out because I never stopped loving him either. Our son was having his first bithday in April. He came up for the party(he is temporarily living in Ohio which is a two hour drive from here) and we had a good time. When he returned to Ohio he called me twice. He told me he would be back in a couple of weeks he was just trying to make some money. However, he has not called me since then, and his cell is disconnected. He say how much he loves his son, but have not called and checked on him either. I have no way to contact him. He talked to his stepfather and told him he feels he has to be financially equiped in order to call me. He should now that it is not true, because I was with him when he did not have much money or any at all. His stepfather also told me he know that he love me, but keep doing what I am doing and let him come around, it is a male thing. I don't know what to think. Was he nice to me in order to be here for our son's birthday party, or is he sincere about his feeling? I really need some advice about this? Help!! Blondie04