DancingFool

Ugh...I'd rather see pajama pants. It's Texas heat of summer here and every year I see guys in the grocery store wearing those slim loose nylon shorts with nothing under them so you can literally see their package in detail.....nothing to show off either.....so I wonder if they just don't realize or don't care..... Happened just the other day. The clerk and I caught each other looking. After the guy walked away, we burst out laughing - he needs an extra mask a little lower down.... At least people around here seem to be compliant when it comes to masks and store managers seem to have some common sense. A lady didn't have a mask on - she needed to go into the store to get her masks purchased as she was completely out, so they gave her a free one so she could go about her business. Several other people also offered to go to their car and get her a mask. It was nice to see basic decency and common sense in action. When you see the news, seems crazy, then you go in your local community and it's a different story - one that doesn't make the headlines - people actually helping each other out, being kind, compassionate, considerate. I wish the news would focus more on that....but.....train wrecks get more clicks....or do they? I wonder sometimes if it's just what editors believe is true.

Omg that was a good laugh :)

Ha that just reminded of This always makes me happy and energized. :)

A bit of humor to lighten the mood: "I was in a long line 6:45 am today at the grocery store that opened at 7am for seniors only. A young man came in from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back with her cane. He returned and tried to cut in again, but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him down to the ground and rolled him away. As he approached the 3rd time, the young man shouted, "if you all don't let me unlock the door, nobody is going to be shopping today."

Oh my....well that didn't take much. OP, questions are complete sentences. Questions aren't judgments. You don't get to dictate to anyone how to write or how to respond or whether or not to participate on a public forum. Anyway, as other posters have already pointed out, in a very passive aggressive way you answered my question, "I want to dictate to others how to be and I want to argue about it because that makes me feel like I'm in control."

....So what's the point of your thread really? Do you want to take over? Dictate your rules? Just wanted to complain?

Well....he has been as clear as a person can be that he likes you, he wants to continue dating you and see where this goes, but that he cannot maintain the kind of intensity and time demands that you seem to need. So now it's on you whether you choose to take it the wrong way, continue panicking and wreck what you have going on, or chill out and adjust to something more realistic and sustainable long term. This is more about your insecurity than anything else. If he was done, it's easy enough for him to drop you and walk away. He is trying to make this work, but he needs you to understand that and come on board with him on this journey. If your response/reaction is that I need what I need and I need to talk until 5 am every night, yes he will throw in the towel and walk away because you are too needy and he can't do that. The ball is your court here. Do you want a sustainable relationship or just the high of high intensity drama?

The married is still married debate is a bit cultural and slanted for US culture since most posters are from US. In the US for the most part filing for divorce is easy, so people have an attitude that if you are only separated, not filing means there is unfinished business there and for the most part that will be correct. In many other parts of the world, getting a divorce involves a lengthy legal separation first. We are talking a year or longer. So separated but not divorced isn't quite that straightforward. Divorce is harder to get, so when people set out on that road, they actually mean to divorce. They've been checked out of the marriage longer and in the process of getting divorced much longer. The cultural dynamic is different. Of course, there is risk in any relationship you enter that it won't work out. Don't let that eat you alive though. I do think we have identified some of the issues of why he pumped the brakes on you and it is more to do with emotional and time pressure to see him and to maintain that intensity you had early on. You need to allow the relationship to normalize. The fact that he is communicating with you and trying to sort this out rather than just run for the hills, I think is promising for continuing to build a healthy relationship. You've only known each other for 6 months....so long ways to go before you can figure out if there really is a future there.

I don't think in your case it's so much about space as removing the emotional pressure, the I get sad part. Focus on the plans you have rather than the plans you don't have. Focus on being happy with what you have rather than what you don't. Get back in touch with your other life too, so when he is busy, you aren't sad. A situation where when you connect again, when you talk, you can share with him all the things you've been into. Otherwise, just allow for the relationship to normalize. Don't be afraid that less means pulling away or some such. Yes, it started out hot and heavy...and most relationships do that....but then you have to normalize, aka reincorporate work, friends, hobbies, etc. Find some balance between seeing each other and having a life outside of each other without getting the sadz.

Ah...well...there is your problem. It's not so much about time, which can be a factor, but your emotional state and reaction. When you get sad because you can't see him to the point of fighting about it....you have become emotionally dependent on him in an unhealthy way. It creates a tremendous amount of pressure on him to keep you happy and of course, he'll start drawing some boundaries and having some doubts about this relationship. You keep saying how you are so independent, but you aren't living it at this point in time. You are acting highly dependent. This is the issue you need to address for yourself, for this relationship and for any future relationships. I think he can see that you are losing yourself a bit and that's why he is pumping the brakes. If you take a deep breath and start being honest with yourself, can you see it too?

In places where there is a lengthy legal separation requirement before a divorce can even be filed, it makes things very difficult to gauge in terms of dating. Some people will be truly and utterly done, moved on and the final divorce is just a legal formality once they can file. Others....are still processing and the act of the divorce still comes with emotions and a shock to the system so to speak. Plus various shades of grey in between the two extremes. Above aside, I think he told you two important things. One is that he does want to continue with this relationship. Two is that he feels that you are getting ahead of him and getting too serious before he is ready for it. In other words, you aren't moving at the same pace. He effectively just pumped the brakes a bit on you. That's not necessarily a bad thing, since he is communicating with you and seeking mutual understanding, rather than just going cold on you and leaving you hanging. Talking about it and trying to work out what's mutually comfortable is actually healthy and a good sign. So I would pay attention to him pumping the brakes and be sure you aren't pushing things along too fast with him, but I wouldn't exactly freak out and pull back completely or run for the hills. I'd say slow down to his pace and let him pick it up more as he feels comfortable and see how that feels for the both of you.

Saw it and definitely good and worth seeing. Thought it was well acted and portrayed. Granted, I'm not a big fan who knows all the details of their bios, so...take that with a grain of salt.

Can also be that they heard what they expected or needed to hear so no further input required. A kind of am I right? Yes. Conversation over even if they don't put whatever they are thinking or seeking validation for explicitly. People tend to post and argue more when they hear what they don't want to hear, at least in my observation.

Slow drivers in the left lane and drivers tapping on their brakes constantly without cause.....ugh......

Super appropriate for a break up site and quite hilarious. Tu es Foutu = you are fcked, btw...lmao Btw, the original French version is better imo

nvm........ 10 char.....

Gorgeous perfect spring day :cool:

Oooh I haven't listened to her for a long time. Thanks of the reminder.

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Love his voice [video=youtube;L3wKzyIN1yk] ]

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