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Thread: Any Single Men Here Seeing Married Women?

  1. #11
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    I'm a Single Guy Dating a Married Woman

    I've been living a fractured fairy tale for the last 2 years. Crossed paths with my first love from high school and college, after we had not had contact for 20 years. Her husband is a great guy, and yes I've gotten to know him since seeing her. He has no idea that she sees me anywhere from once to twice a week. Do I feel guilty? Well yes and no. I like the guy and don't want to see him get hurt, but mt feelings for her trump all of that. In my head, she was mine first and really always will be. As good looking as her husband is, as successful as he is, as well as he treats her, she cheats on him behind his back. She says she loves both of us, but I have my doubts. She can profess her love for her husband to her grave, but she still has yet to explain why she would risk destroying him like this. To show you how twisted this has gotten at times, she became pregnant shortly after we became intimate again. No I don't think it's mine but nothing is for certain. The kid looks like her and the only part of him I see in the baby are the blue eyes. During her entire pregnancy, she was having sex with me twice a week, right up to a week before she had the baby.

    In my mind, there's something missing for her with him. There has to be! How could a woman sleep with another man, me, her entire pregnancy? I've never heard of such a thing and certainly never expected to be part of something like this, but I am. Since the baby, things have slowed down a little bit, we see each other only once every 5 to 10 days, with an occasional twice a week mixed in from time to time.

    The sex is incredible between us, she's said it more than a few times to me. So on one hand I have this drop dead gorgeous woman having sex with me about once a week, but on the other hand it's a nightmare. In the 2 times I've seen her drunk she has said a few things that haunt me. Things like she never should of left me while I was in college, that she can't hurt him which I took a hidden meaning from. She's already hurting him by just being with me so that can't be what she was referring to. I think she meant that she couldn't leave him because it would crush him.

    Should I walk away? Of course I should but I can't, I've tried and have given her many opportunities to end this thing quietly, she never takes them. Am I waiting for her? No. I'd love to meet someone that I could care about as much as I care for her, but try as I have, I just don't see much out there right now. I have to admit, I do want to see her reaction when threre is a real threat of her losing me forever to someone else. Though she has no intention of leaving her marriage, I'll never really know until she sees me exclusively dating another woman. She's being greedy right now and I am too. As cold as it may sound, I feel no real guilt about her huband. I'm not the one that made him any promises and she was the one that re-initiated the sexual component of relationship. I do want her for myslef but really have no hand to play to make that happen. I love being with her and hate it at the same time. It's like a drug. I get high when I'm with her and get down when she has to return home. Not a good situation to be in, but it is what it is.

  2. #12
    Member I_KicKed_keNNedy's Avatar
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    ^
    I think we need a shovel for that one.

  3. #13
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    ^
    ^

    Why I never dated women who talked to exes.

  4. #14

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    One of my friends was there to listen to me and I have always thought he was such a sweetheart. Any girl would be so lucky to have him but for some reason he just hasn't been lucky in love.
    Unlucky in love? It could very possibly be that he hasn't had success in his relationships because he has a thing for emotionally unavailable women such as yourself.

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  6. #15
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    Shovel???

    What gives with the shovel comment? Not really sure what you meant by the comment. If you are inferring that my post was untrue, be rest assured it's very true. Amazing how someone passes a judgement on someone they never met and don't know.

  7. #16
    Member I_KicKed_keNNedy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by rainynight
    What gives with the shovel comment? Not really sure what you meant by the comment. If you are inferring that my post was untrue, be rest assured it's very true. Amazing how someone passes a judgement on someone they never met and don't know.
    I never meant to imply the situation was untrue. Simply, I wanted to point out the whole situation was B.S.

    But your defensiveness over the validity of the story does raise my eyebrow.... now.

  8. #17
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    No BS here at all!

    Believe me, I wish at times it was all B.S. and have kicked myself in the A** many times for opening this Pandora's box. Some things are left better unknown and this whole affair is one of them. You want to know what true pain is? It's seeing someone you truly loved and still love, living her life with someone else. All the while knowing that with all things being equal, she'd be with you in a heartbeat. As much as it frustrates me and angers me at times, I understand her position to a certain degree. She has a great life, he treats her like a princess, his family is great with her especially his Father who is always over the house helping out with things and babysitting the kid. She would decimate her husband if he ever found out and decimate his family, which is very close and very involved in their lives. If I were in her positon I couldn't do what she is doing and look at my spouse in the face, yet she seems to hold no remorse or no guilt about any of this. And, I certainly wouldn't be able to leave my spouse, especially after how good they've been to me and how good their family has been to me. I sometimes wished the guy was a jerk, then she'd be with me, permanently, in the blink of an eye; but he's not. I'm not proud of any of this and it sucks having to hide and sneak around. What I hope for the most is that I meet someone that I can fall in love with and make a clean break from this. Yes, we're close as far as talking on the phone a lot, going to a movie or concert, and she's told me things about her life that she hasn't even told her husband, things that only her Mother and Father knew. So yes, it's a fractured fairy tale to me. Here is this woman that I love, who I am intimate with, who is being dangled right under my nose, yet I can't have her. That is maddening at times and the only B.S. part about it is that I knew what I was getting into when we started this thing; she never promised me anything more than what we have right now. But the often said, "I love you" lines, are hard to hear coming from her. As much as I try to understand her position, it's human nature to think, "well if you love me so much then why aren't you with me instead of your husband". I'd never ask her to leave him because that sword cuts both ways. That's a decision that she'd have to arrive at on her own without any prodding from me. This thing has shut me down at times to points where I ignore her and avoid her, and given how much I care for her, it's painful to try and walk away from someone you care for, and not being strong enough to cut the ties for good. I'm not complaining, it's my fault and it comes with the territory of getting involved with a married person. I'm just trying to show people contemplating putting themselves in the position that I'm in now, that it is a very bad idea!!! You are always the odd man out, and you are guarenteed to get your heart broken whenever and however it ends.
    Last edited by rainynight; 11-28-2006 at 09:16 PM.

  9. 11-29-2006, 09:39 AM

  10. #18

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    I would never mess around with a married woman.

  11. #19
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    Originally Posted by Corvette
    I would never mess around with a married woman.
    I second that. I wouldn't want someone to do that to me, and second of all, I would know that there is probably no future with someone who would do something like that. After all, if they cheated on their husband, the chances are pretty good that they will cheat on you too.

  12. #20

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    Originally Posted by Iceman26
    I second that. I wouldn't want someone to do that to me, and second of all, I would know that there is probably no future with someone who would do something like that. After all, if they cheated on their husband, the chances are pretty good that they will cheat on you too.
    ding, ding, ding.........

  13. 11-30-2006, 10:15 AM

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